Love this! I am 100% a matinee chick. If I go out at night, I know the show's running time. When I went to see Madonna last year, her legendary delayed start time was 10 pm, and I hung in there. Thank God I'd been smart enough to book a hotel room for the night. I trust my 60-something body clock that loves to go to bed early and rise early. Like this wonderful writer, I'll push it sometimes, but Jamie Lee and RuPaul have it right. Give me my mid-day disco, and I'm there.
I mean, I would probably be out late now too if I didn't have to wake up at zero dark thirty to schlep my tired butt to work every day (to pay for my nice nest!). I saw Madonna last year, the show started a fashionably 2.5 hours late (thanks Madge!) and by the second act, I had almost died, and even the most staunch party Queen had turned back into a bedraggled house servant. I am clearly waaaay too old for an 1145pm curtain time!!!
I’m in my 60’s and went to see the Goo Goo Dolls one week and Green Day the next, second time seeing both. Not dead yet either. I am more picky about who or what I spend my money on (oh, for the days of $10.00 concert tickets).
I’ve seen Madonna 5 times and even cut out at 12:45 when she was halfway through a set from the 4th row. She pushes the limits about this for sure. But so did an 81-year-old Leonard Cohen when I saw him live. We do what we can.
Yes. Prince did the same thing. I went to one of his concerts at 9 PM and he didn’t come up on the stage until 2 AM in the morning. He left the whole crowd waiting. I thought I was going to die.
I’m 56 too and definitely don’t stay out as late anymore. In my twenties I lived in San Francisco and was in the rave scene, I didn’t even leave my house until midnight to go out. I have great memories of dancing at the End Up at 6am, tripping on E. My body has changed and I have weirdly become a morning person. I wake up between 6-7am whether I want to or not. It doesn’t matter if I go to bed at 3am. My body is waking up a 6:15. And I can’t drink anymore. I forget and try to and it’s awful the next day. I just went out on Saturday to dinner & a comedy club. Drank, had fun - my husband & I were the oldest people at the club. Next day was sick as a dog. Sleeping HR was 10 points OVER my resting HR. My body was very irritated at me. And I didn’t even stay out that late! Was home by 11pm. These days I am all about either play matinees followed by an early dinner(now get heartburn if I eat a late dinner) or I go to earlier non drinking events like author readings and art exhibits at museums. I still go out several days a week - yay for living in NYC - but in a perfect world I am home by 9pm and sober. I can’t drink several bottles of wine, eat at Taco Bell at 2am and wake up perky and refreshed any more. I want to feel good and that requires no drinking, stopping eating within 3 hours of sleeping and getting enough sleep, which means if I am naturally up at 6am without fail, being asleep around 10,10:30. So I am reframing what is “fun” - daytime walks with friends, meeting for lunch, museums, libraries, botanical gardens, yoga, etc. Still going out and living life, just in the daytime and early evening. The days of being wasted at 4am in a club are over for me. It was fun while it happened and the stuff I do now is fun too.
I hear you! I don’t drink. There was nothing in my post at all about getting wasted. The point is to go out however you can, but to go out and enjoy yourself—even if it’s at noon!
I was a huge huge partier when in my teens and twenties so I've got a real Pavlovian response when it comes to clubs and live music venues, they are associated so much with being wasted that I don't enjoy them sober. It's a me problem, I realize. You didn't mention the need for drugs or booze to stay up. Since I don't use anymore I prefer activities that don't trigger the "this would be even more fun with a bag of coke" reaction that dance clubs give me. Great article, I agree it's vital to keep on going out and living life. Personally I just have to wrap it up earlier than I did 40 years ago.
I totally hear you on this. It's possible I sold you something or painted you with UV body paint at one of those raves back in the day! When I do go to a city and have a real night out, usually if a friend's band is opening for a band we all worshiped when we were young, I drink. Don't do that very often at home. I love the one evening of mayhem and music, just 1-4 times a year, but wouldn't want to attempt it more often.
I agree with everything in this timely and honest piece. So true, all of it. Covid has a lot to answer for especially for those of us who are naturally inclined to stay home even though we thoroughly enjoy going out - once we are actually THERE! Live music is transportive.
The only thing I would add is the genuine vulnerability I now feel - I was followed by a man for several blocks, in what felt like a menacing way recently and it really rattled me: crossing the road when I did, still there when I came out of a store. Between driving, parking and worrying about walking back to the car - even in a group sometimes - being out late can be a big ask for me. But yet pushing oneself is important - we cannot let our lives narrow with us caught inside!
When you're older, you may be perceived as an easy target. And indeed you may not be as fit as you used to be to fight back or run away. Then too, there are some who hate old people because of how someone "old" once treated them, and the hatred boils up when they spot someone old, alone or with another old person. I live in midtown Manhattan, and these attacks have increased in the general lawlessness after Covid. Still, some of my "old lady" friends go out after dark.
I get it—I've lived in NYC for decades and, depending on where you are and what you do, it can get a little hairy. The beautiful thing about the city is there's so much going on during daylight hours, on weekends, or in the early evening, there's always a way to partake in culture within your comfort zone.
Oh this is easy. I have a job. I have to get up at 6 in the morning. When I was 25, I had part time jobs that didn't require an early rise. Now I need health insurance, so I have a full time job and I'm 57, so I get up several times to pee, so I need to factor in the wakefulness that follows, and I need to be in bed by 10 to get enough sleep to do my job.
When we saw the Violent Femmes recently for a 6:30 show, they played Blister in the Sun first thing so we could go relieve the sitter if we had to. Back home by 10. Godbless.
Thank you for this reply -- I have been waiting for it! Yeah, it has nothing to do with not being dead yet. I have to go to work. I have a lot of responsibility and my schedule's not as flexible as others' seem to be (and/or some of these readers are retired). Getting older is not why I'm not out at night. In fact, I expect to be out more once I am really old!
I, too, have to get up early. I, too, have a job. Different strokes for different folks, right? But if you find you want to, there are many cheap or free ways to get out and enjoy an art museum if that's your thing, or an early evening concert, without compromising your bedtime.
Thank you so much for this. I was literally just thinking about this this morning as I’m thinking touring my new record. I do know that when I’m out on the road I’m up literally all night But when I’m home and writing and recording, the things I used to do in the middle of the night, I work 9 to 5 Only occasionally do I get up in the middle of the night with an idea and I have to jot it down For me, I think that shift came during Covid When there was no reason to go on a place so I just use my time during the day I’m 63, still travel and play late night shows But I’m equally as happy working during the day, and hanging out with my wife at night watching silly TV shows or other mundane things that keep us sane.
I notice it in my audiences too. When I play regionally in smaller cities in the Midwest, it’s almost impossible to get people to come out who are over 40 Particularly when I play in my home market, where people know me personally they ask why don’t we do early shows
But when we play New York, Chicago, Paris, etc. we don’t have that problem I think you had a point that it has to do with lifestyle Folks in the mega cities are used to pushing and burning the midnight oil Whereas back home here in Indiana People act like they have to get up and milk the cows!
I still want to go to concerts, stand up dancing the whole night in the back row, but it's hard to find anyone to go with so I usually go alone. A few months ago I met one "music friend" and we went to a few concerts together but she sits the whole time and I'm pretty sure it annoys her the way I'm jumping around although she swears it doesn't, that "I'm at a concert and having a good time. Nothing wrong with that," she say but she also says now that she thinks her concert days are over, she dislikes crowds and is watching her money.
I was thinking about starting a group where people who would rather burnout than fade away could travel together to see some good rock shows since not enough of them come to town. I don't care if they are tribute bands now if they're good --some great shows I've seen in the past few years- Alice Cooper, The Fixx, Boston, Foreigner , Black Crowes, Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo, Guess Who (only one remaining member but still a good show) Kashmir (tribute but great) and I'm looking forward to Jason Bonham's Night with Led Zeppelin Experience next month...
If you think about it, they’re actually very practical: we always opt for day time theatre shows because then we can go for dinner afterward and not stress about getting out on time.
And yes, I think about practicality when I think of fun. It’s who I am.
At least in the summer there are festivals with bands all day, it’s the CF of the traffic and crowds that get to me. I was almost knocked over by people striding through, only looking down at their damn phone. (For me, falls break bones.)
When you’re in your twenties there’s nothing to look back on; you’re creating your life in real time as the arrow of time moves forward. When you’re older there’s so much to look back on and that is the trap. Keep looking forward!!!
You’re 56. I’m 86. That’s how you do it. I’m just back from a book launch in Melbourne—Australia not Florida. “Men as Friends”. That’s how you do it. Just keep doing it. Goodonya mate!
I can and frequently still do pull late nights. When I visit friends in NYC, I’m down to hang out well into the morning. This summer, my wife and I went to a festival in Scotland and stayed out until 2 am. I guess it’s harder to get myself out in my own city, where I have to work every day and drive everywhere. But I still make the effort more often than not. I don’t want to just reminisce; I want new memories and experiences, too.
As I’ve aged, I’ve let my waking hours wrap around the time I’m most productive, and that happens to be morning. So typically I’m not up late because it interferes with my creative flow.
But- I will absolutely take a shot of Red Bull or whatever it takes and stay up late to indulge my love of live music. It’s worth losing a few hours of productivity the next day.
I went to see the Stones in Chicago in June leading up to my 70th birthday in July and it reminded me that the rush of being in a concert crowd, hearing live music, is one of life’s most invigorating experiences — and watching a bunch of legends who are 80 years old jumping around the stage and performing like they are 20 was aspirational to say the least. Of course the hike out of Soldier Field after midnight almost killed me, but I would have died singing. Great piece!
My husband & I are in our 70’s. We go to a jazz club once a month with friends. We arrive for the first set & leave at the break. We get up early & some still work. I like to think we support the musicians early & leave room for the younger crowd who don’t usually show up until the 2nd set. It works, but also would love a matinee jazz concert.
You do you! The night driving thing is a real challenge. I wrote this to express that, as much as I like my womb-like home, I also enjoy seeing what's happening outside. Thanks so much for reading!
I'm 72, wishing I had friends to go out with!!!!!! I miss the occasional party, concert, heck, I'd settle for dinner and a movie, with someone in my age group! I seem to attract men that are far too young--I'm not interested in hanging out with my son, regularly, smile! I don' understand what has happened--my friends seem to be glued to their homes-afraid to venture out after dark!
Good on you! Thanks for writing! Have you thought about hosting a dinner or mobilizing your friend group? Even if you have one taker on an outing, you’ll have a great time.
The easier and lighter the better! Start slow. See what happens! I used to do a Sunday Open House where a few pals would come over and we'd invite others to see who turned up. It was a lot of fun and it was over by dinnertime!
Money and crime concerns would be my reasons. I'd rather spend it on travel than giving Madonna more money. Maybe your friends have other interests they prefer to spend money on or are concerned about crime, money, driving, etc. If I had unlimited funds and a chauffeur, I'd be out a lot more! Or maybe not, as I prefer travel.
Love this! I am 100% a matinee chick. If I go out at night, I know the show's running time. When I went to see Madonna last year, her legendary delayed start time was 10 pm, and I hung in there. Thank God I'd been smart enough to book a hotel room for the night. I trust my 60-something body clock that loves to go to bed early and rise early. Like this wonderful writer, I'll push it sometimes, but Jamie Lee and RuPaul have it right. Give me my mid-day disco, and I'm there.
I mean, I would probably be out late now too if I didn't have to wake up at zero dark thirty to schlep my tired butt to work every day (to pay for my nice nest!). I saw Madonna last year, the show started a fashionably 2.5 hours late (thanks Madge!) and by the second act, I had almost died, and even the most staunch party Queen had turned back into a bedraggled house servant. I am clearly waaaay too old for an 1145pm curtain time!!!
That was very rude of her!
I’m in my 60’s and went to see the Goo Goo Dolls one week and Green Day the next, second time seeing both. Not dead yet either. I am more picky about who or what I spend my money on (oh, for the days of $10.00 concert tickets).
Nice.
I’ve seen Madonna 5 times and even cut out at 12:45 when she was halfway through a set from the 4th row. She pushes the limits about this for sure. But so did an 81-year-old Leonard Cohen when I saw him live. We do what we can.
Her show was definitely worth it but I am not built to stay up until 2am haha!!
Yes. Prince did the same thing. I went to one of his concerts at 9 PM and he didn’t come up on the stage until 2 AM in the morning. He left the whole crowd waiting. I thought I was going to die.
That would test the hell out my mettle! How late did you hang out?
Were other acts playing during those 2.5 hours? I can’t imagine waiting that long!
I’m 56 too and definitely don’t stay out as late anymore. In my twenties I lived in San Francisco and was in the rave scene, I didn’t even leave my house until midnight to go out. I have great memories of dancing at the End Up at 6am, tripping on E. My body has changed and I have weirdly become a morning person. I wake up between 6-7am whether I want to or not. It doesn’t matter if I go to bed at 3am. My body is waking up a 6:15. And I can’t drink anymore. I forget and try to and it’s awful the next day. I just went out on Saturday to dinner & a comedy club. Drank, had fun - my husband & I were the oldest people at the club. Next day was sick as a dog. Sleeping HR was 10 points OVER my resting HR. My body was very irritated at me. And I didn’t even stay out that late! Was home by 11pm. These days I am all about either play matinees followed by an early dinner(now get heartburn if I eat a late dinner) or I go to earlier non drinking events like author readings and art exhibits at museums. I still go out several days a week - yay for living in NYC - but in a perfect world I am home by 9pm and sober. I can’t drink several bottles of wine, eat at Taco Bell at 2am and wake up perky and refreshed any more. I want to feel good and that requires no drinking, stopping eating within 3 hours of sleeping and getting enough sleep, which means if I am naturally up at 6am without fail, being asleep around 10,10:30. So I am reframing what is “fun” - daytime walks with friends, meeting for lunch, museums, libraries, botanical gardens, yoga, etc. Still going out and living life, just in the daytime and early evening. The days of being wasted at 4am in a club are over for me. It was fun while it happened and the stuff I do now is fun too.
I hear you! I don’t drink. There was nothing in my post at all about getting wasted. The point is to go out however you can, but to go out and enjoy yourself—even if it’s at noon!
I was a huge huge partier when in my teens and twenties so I've got a real Pavlovian response when it comes to clubs and live music venues, they are associated so much with being wasted that I don't enjoy them sober. It's a me problem, I realize. You didn't mention the need for drugs or booze to stay up. Since I don't use anymore I prefer activities that don't trigger the "this would be even more fun with a bag of coke" reaction that dance clubs give me. Great article, I agree it's vital to keep on going out and living life. Personally I just have to wrap it up earlier than I did 40 years ago.
I get you! And thank you! I sneak out of concerts by the encore, usually. Even seeing some of the set is worth it to me.
I totally hear you on this. It's possible I sold you something or painted you with UV body paint at one of those raves back in the day! When I do go to a city and have a real night out, usually if a friend's band is opening for a band we all worshiped when we were young, I drink. Don't do that very often at home. I love the one evening of mayhem and music, just 1-4 times a year, but wouldn't want to attempt it more often.
I agree with everything in this timely and honest piece. So true, all of it. Covid has a lot to answer for especially for those of us who are naturally inclined to stay home even though we thoroughly enjoy going out - once we are actually THERE! Live music is transportive.
The only thing I would add is the genuine vulnerability I now feel - I was followed by a man for several blocks, in what felt like a menacing way recently and it really rattled me: crossing the road when I did, still there when I came out of a store. Between driving, parking and worrying about walking back to the car - even in a group sometimes - being out late can be a big ask for me. But yet pushing oneself is important - we cannot let our lives narrow with us caught inside!
Sue, I so relate to that feeling of vulnerability. (I'm writing a new post for my "On the Path to 60" series about that.) Thanks for bringing it up.
Thanks Sari - really love and appreciate your work/writing always.
<3
I know, this is real. But we were vulnerable at 20, also. It’s all about pushing through. Thanks for writing!
When you're older, you may be perceived as an easy target. And indeed you may not be as fit as you used to be to fight back or run away. Then too, there are some who hate old people because of how someone "old" once treated them, and the hatred boils up when they spot someone old, alone or with another old person. I live in midtown Manhattan, and these attacks have increased in the general lawlessness after Covid. Still, some of my "old lady" friends go out after dark.
I get it—I've lived in NYC for decades and, depending on where you are and what you do, it can get a little hairy. The beautiful thing about the city is there's so much going on during daylight hours, on weekends, or in the early evening, there's always a way to partake in culture within your comfort zone.
Oh this is easy. I have a job. I have to get up at 6 in the morning. When I was 25, I had part time jobs that didn't require an early rise. Now I need health insurance, so I have a full time job and I'm 57, so I get up several times to pee, so I need to factor in the wakefulness that follows, and I need to be in bed by 10 to get enough sleep to do my job.
When we saw the Violent Femmes recently for a 6:30 show, they played Blister in the Sun first thing so we could go relieve the sitter if we had to. Back home by 10. Godbless.
Ha ha.
HEAVEN
Thank you for this reply -- I have been waiting for it! Yeah, it has nothing to do with not being dead yet. I have to go to work. I have a lot of responsibility and my schedule's not as flexible as others' seem to be (and/or some of these readers are retired). Getting older is not why I'm not out at night. In fact, I expect to be out more once I am really old!
I, too, have to get up early. I, too, have a job. Different strokes for different folks, right? But if you find you want to, there are many cheap or free ways to get out and enjoy an art museum if that's your thing, or an early evening concert, without compromising your bedtime.
Thank you so much for this. I was literally just thinking about this this morning as I’m thinking touring my new record. I do know that when I’m out on the road I’m up literally all night But when I’m home and writing and recording, the things I used to do in the middle of the night, I work 9 to 5 Only occasionally do I get up in the middle of the night with an idea and I have to jot it down For me, I think that shift came during Covid When there was no reason to go on a place so I just use my time during the day I’m 63, still travel and play late night shows But I’m equally as happy working during the day, and hanging out with my wife at night watching silly TV shows or other mundane things that keep us sane.
I notice it in my audiences too. When I play regionally in smaller cities in the Midwest, it’s almost impossible to get people to come out who are over 40 Particularly when I play in my home market, where people know me personally they ask why don’t we do early shows
But when we play New York, Chicago, Paris, etc. we don’t have that problem I think you had a point that it has to do with lifestyle Folks in the mega cities are used to pushing and burning the midnight oil Whereas back home here in Indiana People act like they have to get up and milk the cows!
Thank you for this insightful piece.
Interesting to hear the perspective on this from a touring musician in his 60s. Thanks for chiming in, Brick.
HAH! Thanks for this, Brick! Love hearing the perspective of a touring musician! I know a bunch and yes, the market dictates your options 100 percent.
I still want to go to concerts, stand up dancing the whole night in the back row, but it's hard to find anyone to go with so I usually go alone. A few months ago I met one "music friend" and we went to a few concerts together but she sits the whole time and I'm pretty sure it annoys her the way I'm jumping around although she swears it doesn't, that "I'm at a concert and having a good time. Nothing wrong with that," she say but she also says now that she thinks her concert days are over, she dislikes crowds and is watching her money.
I was thinking about starting a group where people who would rather burnout than fade away could travel together to see some good rock shows since not enough of them come to town. I don't care if they are tribute bands now if they're good --some great shows I've seen in the past few years- Alice Cooper, The Fixx, Boston, Foreigner , Black Crowes, Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo, Guess Who (only one remaining member but still a good show) Kashmir (tribute but great) and I'm looking forward to Jason Bonham's Night with Led Zeppelin Experience next month...
DO IT. Assemble your crew and get out there!
Great idea.
I’m here for the matinees! 👏👏👏👏
If you think about it, they’re actually very practical: we always opt for day time theatre shows because then we can go for dinner afterward and not stress about getting out on time.
And yes, I think about practicality when I think of fun. It’s who I am.
Join me at the RuPaul disco when it opens!
I’ll be there with the finest of my bells on! 🪩 💃
Shellac used to have morning shows every now and then. I would absolutely, 100 percent be down for those every week.
I love a good morning routine.
I’ve seen Shellac! Whenever it works for you, make it happen!
At least in the summer there are festivals with bands all day, it’s the CF of the traffic and crowds that get to me. I was almost knocked over by people striding through, only looking down at their damn phone. (For me, falls break bones.)
Oy vey. The anxiety of crowds is a real thing.
When you’re in your twenties there’s nothing to look back on; you’re creating your life in real time as the arrow of time moves forward. When you’re older there’s so much to look back on and that is the trap. Keep looking forward!!!
That’s right.
Good point.
You’re 56. I’m 86. That’s how you do it. I’m just back from a book launch in Melbourne—Australia not Florida. “Men as Friends”. That’s how you do it. Just keep doing it. Goodonya mate!
I can and frequently still do pull late nights. When I visit friends in NYC, I’m down to hang out well into the morning. This summer, my wife and I went to a festival in Scotland and stayed out until 2 am. I guess it’s harder to get myself out in my own city, where I have to work every day and drive everywhere. But I still make the effort more often than not. I don’t want to just reminisce; I want new memories and experiences, too.
That’s right! Go out and make them! Sounds like you’re doing a great job of it when you can.
As I’ve aged, I’ve let my waking hours wrap around the time I’m most productive, and that happens to be morning. So typically I’m not up late because it interferes with my creative flow.
But- I will absolutely take a shot of Red Bull or whatever it takes and stay up late to indulge my love of live music. It’s worth losing a few hours of productivity the next day.
I went to see the Stones in Chicago in June leading up to my 70th birthday in July and it reminded me that the rush of being in a concert crowd, hearing live music, is one of life’s most invigorating experiences — and watching a bunch of legends who are 80 years old jumping around the stage and performing like they are 20 was aspirational to say the least. Of course the hike out of Soldier Field after midnight almost killed me, but I would have died singing. Great piece!
That’s awesome.
😎😂
Thank you so much! I’m so glad! I can’t even believe I’m saying this but I’ve yet to see The Stones. Good on you for going!
I hadn’t seen them till this year, either, and I figured I’d better hurry up! 😆
My husband & I are in our 70’s. We go to a jazz club once a month with friends. We arrive for the first set & leave at the break. We get up early & some still work. I like to think we support the musicians early & leave room for the younger crowd who don’t usually show up until the 2nd set. It works, but also would love a matinee jazz concert.
Word to that! But see? You can get out, support culture, and still make it home for your bedtime. It can be done!
I never was one to be out late at night. But I can’t drive in the dark anymore. Plus I have everything I love home.
I really struggle with night driving, too.
You do you! The night driving thing is a real challenge. I wrote this to express that, as much as I like my womb-like home, I also enjoy seeing what's happening outside. Thanks so much for reading!
I'm 72, wishing I had friends to go out with!!!!!! I miss the occasional party, concert, heck, I'd settle for dinner and a movie, with someone in my age group! I seem to attract men that are far too young--I'm not interested in hanging out with my son, regularly, smile! I don' understand what has happened--my friends seem to be glued to their homes-afraid to venture out after dark!
Good on you! Thanks for writing! Have you thought about hosting a dinner or mobilizing your friend group? Even if you have one taker on an outing, you’ll have a great time.
Great idea! I’ll try hosting it early, say 4 pm, something light and see what happens!
The easier and lighter the better! Start slow. See what happens! I used to do a Sunday Open House where a few pals would come over and we'd invite others to see who turned up. It was a lot of fun and it was over by dinnertime!
Money and crime concerns would be my reasons. I'd rather spend it on travel than giving Madonna more money. Maybe your friends have other interests they prefer to spend money on or are concerned about crime, money, driving, etc. If I had unlimited funds and a chauffeur, I'd be out a lot more! Or maybe not, as I prefer travel.
You do you! I do believe I addressed the money bit in there. It doesn’t have to cost a lot.