Readers,
I get the nicest notes from Oldster contributors and interviewees after they experience this readership’s reliably wonderful reception in the comments.
I know I’ve said it before, but it bears saying again: You are a wonderful audience. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading, and for always commenting so thoughtfully and supportively. You help to make Oldster not only a great publication, but also the kind of a warm, welcoming community I like to be part of. 🙏
By the by, Oldster runs on paid subscriptions, it pays essayists and interviewers, and—at least for now—no content is ever kept behind a paywall. Paid subscribers make that possible, and I appreciate it.
Check out the rest of this series here. P.S. Click here to get more out of this post by reading it online instead of in your email…
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Meet my mom, on her 86th birthday...
Happy birthday to my smart, beautiful mom, Francine Fleishman! 🎂 For the occasion, I thought it might be nice to have her take The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, verbally, over video.
In the interview, we talked about the struggles of getting older—especially losing people, like her mother, Clarisse, when my mom was 31, and her husband, Stanley, shortly before she turned 78. Also, overcoming her resistance to using a cane, for fear that it might affect how people treat her.
But we talked about more upbeat things, too. For instance, she recalled how much going back to teaching in her mid-30s enriched her life, and how hard it was to retire in her late 50s.
My mom was a much beloved teacher in Long Beach, NY. In a 2013 Teacher Appreciation Week video, congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz said of her:
“She was my fifth and sixth grade teacher at Magnolia Open Elementary School in Long Beach, New York, and she inspired me and all of my classmates to study hard and dream big. She was part mom, part educator, helping her students realize that anything was possible for us. She picked us up when we were down and pushed us when she knew we could do better.”
We touched on my mom’s pride in still being around and relatively well, while continuing to enjoy time with friends and family, her political discussion groups, her book groups, and her weekly Rummikub group.
And we both talked about how excited we are to go see ROSIE ODONNELL in her one-woman show, Common Knowledge, Off Broadway this weekend, to celebrate mom’s birthday.
It was a sweet conversation. Watch it here ⬇️
Please join me in wishing my mom a happy birthday! Here are some photos of her through the years, with family and friends.
And here’s me dressed as “my mom in the ’70s” at a ’70s-themed costume party that took place in 2010:
Back to my mom’s comment about finding her new cane useful, but resenting how she believes the sight of it makes people treat her differently. It’s similar to Ashton Applewhite’s experience of letting go of her internalized agism around what it means to use a cane, so she could embrace using one, as she told me when we spoke a couple of weeks ago.
It made me want to ask all of you about this:
Do you use a cane, walker, rollator or other assistive walking device? Did you at any point resist using it? Has it helped? Do you think being seen using it affects how people treat you?
That’s all for today. Thanks as always for reading, and for all your support. 🙏💝
-Sari
Thanks to all of you for the Happy Birthday wishes! It's so nice to "meet" all of my daughter's lovely readers!
I went from an able-bodied pregnant woman of 37 to a right half paralyzed person due to a massive stroke almost 34 years ago. I was supported while I tried to walk. Then I went through the wheelchair, hemi-walker, cane, and then the walking with obvious gait problems. I was supposed to use my cane when I was in my 60s, but my embarrassment made that almost too much to handle. After experiencing recrudescence at 70, I have to use one of my three canes every time I’m outside walking. The reaction of others, both old and young, still creates embarrassment in me. I go around saying positive things to people who have any disability.