As in, I think I'm finally ready to grow out my bangs...? (Why is this hard?) What looks are you struggling to let go of even if you're tired of them? An open thread...
Do not even get me STARTED. First- I have forever loved your signature bangs, and I will, I am certain, love your long, swept-back bangs. You have fabulous hair, now and historically. The truth is, hair changes as we change; when I hit menopause prematurely (at 40, thanks Mom), my hair, which has been an odd combination of frizzy on the right and wavy/straight on the left (thanks Dad) suddenly refused to grow in any other way than out, as opposed to down. I love the idea of slightly longer hair, but it stopped working for me in my thirties, when I finally cut it short, sometimes *very* short. The problem is, not a lot of stylists know how to cut short/fine/wavy/curly hair, and when I moved to Connecticut from NYC, every stylist I went to tried to turn me into Dina Merrill (blonde, very sprayed helmet hair, an environmental bio-hazard). It took me 20 years of living here to finally accept the fact that I'm a short hair person, and a wonderful stylist (thanks to you) to give me a great haircut. So, I've said goodbye to long(er) hair forever. I've also finally accepted the fact that I will never stop wearing horizontal stripes, even though I'm 5'1" and zaftig, and have been warned against this (Mom).
I'd love that. Thank you. And thank you for the kind words. I actually ran in/ran out to see Norman the other day, and was home in time to teach my late afternoon workshop. But I will be back in a month! Short hair!
The joys of the Third Quarter (50-75ish) is knowing who you are now - and saying a loving goodbye to the rest. Whether it's hair, husbands or houses. Transitions are tough for some, joyful for others. I'm a sucker for change, my husband prefers stability. And i think a wardrobe of lipsticks, perfumes and anything else that reflects multiple facets of self are fun to flip through. We hold multitudes. Age is about flaunting more of them!
Neko, I have loooooved your "grombre" photos, where you have some grey on top, some red on the bottom. I've also seen some friends go grey, but add in a rainbow of fun highlights. I think you will look gorgeous no matter what you do! <3
I learned that bangs were called “the devil’s haircut” by Christians during my medieval research and am pleased to stick with the devil’s haircut and grow them occasionally into their longer “curtain bangs” version until I get sick of brushing them off my eyes and cut them back again. I like that my bangs are a warning to men (and some women) that Im not gonna be what they think of as “normal.” They’re my red flag, my douchebag filter, my superhero costume.
I love this, Carolita, especially "They’re my red flag, my douchebag filter, my superhero costume." Maybe I'm afraid to let go of them because they are an outward symbol that I'm not big on conforming...
Whenever I want to change something, no matter what it is , it happens the same way: I employ the jumping-into-freezing ocean-water-fast approach otherwise I’d never do it.
When I decided to let go of my ‘signature’ brunette hair that I’d been coloring for decades (actually I was tired of the having to do it and the expense, the color was fine.) I lasted about 3-months in the grow-out phase before I pixied my own hair one Sunday night (remarkably easy, just follow the white line 😂) That was 4 years ago, and my new signature look: white hair.
I have another signature I’ve had since my twenties that I’ll never give up: red lipstick, forever and always ❤️ 💄
That’s a great question, Sari! I wear a lot of Nars shades, I like their lipsticks and they have fun names (right now I’m wearing “Bad Reputation” 😂) darker reds in winter, lighter in summer - like a wardrobe of lipsticks. I wore Revlon when I was in my twenties, colors like ‘Cherries in the Snow”. I have to look up a company I bought a bunch of fun barrettes from, I’ll post here when I find it.
Even within a “signature” there’s room for nuance 😂
The barrettes I bought were from Banana Papaya, they’re mentioned in this article with a bunch of other fun barrettes. Have a good time experimenting with your bang grow out, Sari! 😃 Here’s the link:
May I add that every one of the lipsticks I have adored and were just the right color for my skin tone has been discontinued —thanks to Clinique and Estee Lauder (both owned by Estée Lauder I believe). Just learned that my newest fav from Mineral Fusion has also been given the axe. Sigh... I'll check out Nars—thanks!
Jolene, I love the white!!! I know (from genetics) that I will long have my brunette locks, and the grey “wings” will continue to expand as the years pass. I refuse to color it because there are only 24 hours in a day. While your look is my ideal, I’ll try not to covet thy hair and be content with my own!
As a 57-year-old man, that had "the 2nd longest hair in my graduating class of 1982", watching the bologna patch get bigger and bigger was terrifying! The pandemic saw the end of it, and now it's 3mm all over. But WTF with all of this old man hair sprouting in the weirdest spots? ugh! Also, I shaved off my mustache for the first time in decades. I've had it since I was 18.
You are so right - this change is Terrifying yet Freedom. I don't use terms like reinventing myself. I like myself. I just want a new look now and then. I say go for it~
I started cutting my own hair during the pandemic. It’s quite curly and heavy, so I’d just randomly shorten up a curl here and there, which would alleviate the heaviness some and release the curls to be springier. But after a while it became clear I was developing something of a mullet because I couldn’t reach the back. So, I asked my 19-year old to help me even out the back with the front, which left me with the boring bob I had for years that I was avoiding. SIGH. I’ll probably start hacking at it soon again and the cycle will begin anew.
Yeah, I mean look at that essay by the person who’s disappointed at the difference between how she was perceived when she looked androgynous and butch and how she looks now! I like to make it easy for the fools to know what they’re dealing with, and save me some energy. I only try to look”normal” when I am undercover. Besides, what am I gonna do, grow it all out and do a Mrs Herman Munster? I can’t afford regular haircuts. If I could afford short hair I’d have short hair. I’d love to sit in a hairdressers chair every few weeks and have them clean up my neck hair but alas, I have other, more pressing financial priorities right now. The bangs are also a cheap way to have a low maintenance hairstyle.
Maybe you just need to work with them and give them a different way to grow. Maybe they need to be longer or shorter. Also I found at one point that if I just blew them dry without using a brush to force them to do what I wanted them to do, they sat better.
I've tried everything. Part of the problem is my hair is a bit wavy, and seems to have suddenly gotten wavier. They've been taking up too much of my time and psychic energy. They rarely look how I want them to these days. I think I just need a break from them.
As others have noted, after 50, it's a crap shoot. One day my hair refused to go along with my plan, and it hasn't softened its stance (literally) since.
I don't have bangs, but I have had the same haircut for the last 20 years. A friend once told me that if you're a man past 50 years old, your hairstyle doesn't matter. I also tend to wear a "uniform." Khaki pants or black cords, gray or black t-shirts, and Blundstones. I just turned 55 today, and maybe it's time to change my look? But I also like the comfort that comes with not having to decide what to wear every day. Maybe add some color? But then I'd have to think too much. Maybe in the future I'll just wear a one-piece jumpsuit? 100 SPF and fireproof. There's also the nudist colony option.
I love this. My bangs are driving me nuts right now. 😂 I’ve had and then grown out bangs 3 different times in my life and they are a pain to grow out!! But it can be fun to create a new look. So if your bangs are long enough to tuck back, I say keep going ! Try hair combs?
i've always been a bit of a chameleon, which gets in the way of continuity when it comes to drawing myself in autobiographical sequential art. i have a difficult time keeping a hairstyle from one month to the next, i get so bored! but i've been trying hard to look like my last professional author's photos, since i don't want to show up to events looking like a different person, and i DON'T want to spring for new ones. so i guess i have the opposite problem!
Your bangs and or without bangs tell the story of you and your world, revealing or secreting away a wonderful face, and a forehead revealed is powerful and bold, expressive and open. I always thought your bangs were so you, but we do change, and it may be that those animated bangs are reacting to climate change, external and internal. The only time I had bangs was in kindergarten--also the only time, for some crazy reason, my hair was straight and blond. Since then dull brown, curls, frizz, some times lucky waves. Covering gray happened before chemo induced bald times. When my hair grew back, on my surprisingly round head, it was darker (no gray!) and curlier (no frizz!) than before. It felt like a final fuck you to cancer, as well as the luck of the draw. I did not mind being bald and kept my hair really short for years, but like others, the cost became prohibitive. The gray returned, and now I waver every few months about the dye job, sometimes reluctantly giving in, but then feeling relief when I do. Then the cycle starts again. Maybe after menopause the cycle of our hair is a gauge of forever hormonally engaged bodies? Recommendations of good hair people in the Hudson Valley? Hudson? Kingston? Red Hook? Rhinebeck? I have tried a few, but not found one that likes to work with waves and curls.
I don't know you in person, so have never seen the totality of your face and hair, but IMO, go for it! Ditch the bangs and don't look back. As others have noted, you can always cut. them again. I personally love hair swept back off the face, which is elegant and timeless.
When I want to change my life, I start with my hair. During the pandemic, I fought the urge to shave my head (um, Zoom calls with colleagues?!), but kinda wish I'd gone for it.
I buy beautiful barrettes in the checkout line at Nordstrom Rack. Hundreds to choose from!
For most of my life, I’ve attempted to to make my very thick hair sleek and smooth. I thought that big frizzy hair was tacky. Cut to age 40 (now)- The massive amts of hair I lost after my 3rd pregnancy is growing back gray and curly! So, now, I’m attempting to lean into this new texture and embrace the frizz/volume. But, I still jump at my reflection.
I got a totally different haircut once while I was away on holiday years ago, pre-Covid, and it was a relief to get comfortable with it before arriving home. I think the regular people who know me can get just as locked-in to how they think I should look as I might do, and it was liberating to break away from expectations. So periodically I switch things up, just to stay flexible.
Right now, it's growing out my bangs and wow has that been frustrating. Wispy hair in my eyes all the time, barrettes that slide around or get caught and break off hair, headbands that get too hot. But I've persisted and am pleased I did.
I wish it wasn't so 'important' but hair matters to how I feel about myself. I don't mean perfect hair. Hair that looks sporty, willing to take a chance, experiment with colour, a different way to part it or hold it back . . .
Do not even get me STARTED. First- I have forever loved your signature bangs, and I will, I am certain, love your long, swept-back bangs. You have fabulous hair, now and historically. The truth is, hair changes as we change; when I hit menopause prematurely (at 40, thanks Mom), my hair, which has been an odd combination of frizzy on the right and wavy/straight on the left (thanks Dad) suddenly refused to grow in any other way than out, as opposed to down. I love the idea of slightly longer hair, but it stopped working for me in my thirties, when I finally cut it short, sometimes *very* short. The problem is, not a lot of stylists know how to cut short/fine/wavy/curly hair, and when I moved to Connecticut from NYC, every stylist I went to tried to turn me into Dina Merrill (blonde, very sprayed helmet hair, an environmental bio-hazard). It took me 20 years of living here to finally accept the fact that I'm a short hair person, and a wonderful stylist (thanks to you) to give me a great haircut. So, I've said goodbye to long(er) hair forever. I've also finally accepted the fact that I will never stop wearing horizontal stripes, even though I'm 5'1" and zaftig, and have been warned against this (Mom).
Love this. You look great in those stripes, and short hair. <3 (And let's meet up again when you next go to see Norman!)
I'd love that. Thank you. And thank you for the kind words. I actually ran in/ran out to see Norman the other day, and was home in time to teach my late afternoon workshop. But I will be back in a month! Short hair!
I am very much for you keeping your hair short if it means you'll make frequent trips to Kingston!
Looking forward to seeing you soon! Lunch!
The joys of the Third Quarter (50-75ish) is knowing who you are now - and saying a loving goodbye to the rest. Whether it's hair, husbands or houses. Transitions are tough for some, joyful for others. I'm a sucker for change, my husband prefers stability. And i think a wardrobe of lipsticks, perfumes and anything else that reflects multiple facets of self are fun to flip through. We hold multitudes. Age is about flaunting more of them!
Dump the bangs! And celebrate.
Well said!
Red hair. It's a struggle not to just dye it back after a covid hiatus when my silver came out. Totally conflicted.
Neko, I have loooooved your "grombre" photos, where you have some grey on top, some red on the bottom. I've also seen some friends go grey, but add in a rainbow of fun highlights. I think you will look gorgeous no matter what you do! <3
agreed. i love that look!
Oh, Sari... I'm blushing.
😘
I learned that bangs were called “the devil’s haircut” by Christians during my medieval research and am pleased to stick with the devil’s haircut and grow them occasionally into their longer “curtain bangs” version until I get sick of brushing them off my eyes and cut them back again. I like that my bangs are a warning to men (and some women) that Im not gonna be what they think of as “normal.” They’re my red flag, my douchebag filter, my superhero costume.
I love this, Carolita, especially "They’re my red flag, my douchebag filter, my superhero costume." Maybe I'm afraid to let go of them because they are an outward symbol that I'm not big on conforming...
Now I know where that Beck lyric came from! ("Got a devil's haircut / In my mind")
👹
The devil's haircut!!! I had no idea.
Whenever I want to change something, no matter what it is , it happens the same way: I employ the jumping-into-freezing ocean-water-fast approach otherwise I’d never do it.
When I decided to let go of my ‘signature’ brunette hair that I’d been coloring for decades (actually I was tired of the having to do it and the expense, the color was fine.) I lasted about 3-months in the grow-out phase before I pixied my own hair one Sunday night (remarkably easy, just follow the white line 😂) That was 4 years ago, and my new signature look: white hair.
I have another signature I’ve had since my twenties that I’ll never give up: red lipstick, forever and always ❤️ 💄
Love it. Do you stick with the same color of red, same brand?
That’s a great question, Sari! I wear a lot of Nars shades, I like their lipsticks and they have fun names (right now I’m wearing “Bad Reputation” 😂) darker reds in winter, lighter in summer - like a wardrobe of lipsticks. I wore Revlon when I was in my twenties, colors like ‘Cherries in the Snow”. I have to look up a company I bought a bunch of fun barrettes from, I’ll post here when I find it.
Love the "wardrobe of lipsticks."
Even within a “signature” there’s room for nuance 😂
The barrettes I bought were from Banana Papaya, they’re mentioned in this article with a bunch of other fun barrettes. Have a good time experimenting with your bang grow out, Sari! 😃 Here’s the link:
https://nymag.com/strategist/amp/article/best-hair-clips-barrettes-claws.html
Thank you!
One last thing: your bangs look great on you. I also love Normal Kamali’s bangs, another amazing signature look.
Have fun!
As do I!
May I add that every one of the lipsticks I have adored and were just the right color for my skin tone has been discontinued —thanks to Clinique and Estee Lauder (both owned by Estée Lauder I believe). Just learned that my newest fav from Mineral Fusion has also been given the axe. Sigh... I'll check out Nars—thanks!
Hi Joan! I really like Nars, let me know what you think! 💄
Jolene, I love the white!!! I know (from genetics) that I will long have my brunette locks, and the grey “wings” will continue to expand as the years pass. I refuse to color it because there are only 24 hours in a day. While your look is my ideal, I’ll try not to covet thy hair and be content with my own!
Holly, thank you so much! My Mom had the same white hair, so she was an inspiration. Love grey wings! 😃
As a 57-year-old man, that had "the 2nd longest hair in my graduating class of 1982", watching the bologna patch get bigger and bigger was terrifying! The pandemic saw the end of it, and now it's 3mm all over. But WTF with all of this old man hair sprouting in the weirdest spots? ugh! Also, I shaved off my mustache for the first time in decades. I've had it since I was 18.
You are so right - this change is Terrifying yet Freedom. I don't use terms like reinventing myself. I like myself. I just want a new look now and then. I say go for it~
Thanks for sharing this, Ric. "I just want a new look now and then." Yup.
I started cutting my own hair during the pandemic. It’s quite curly and heavy, so I’d just randomly shorten up a curl here and there, which would alleviate the heaviness some and release the curls to be springier. But after a while it became clear I was developing something of a mullet because I couldn’t reach the back. So, I asked my 19-year old to help me even out the back with the front, which left me with the boring bob I had for years that I was avoiding. SIGH. I’ll probably start hacking at it soon again and the cycle will begin anew.
😂
Yeah, I mean look at that essay by the person who’s disappointed at the difference between how she was perceived when she looked androgynous and butch and how she looks now! I like to make it easy for the fools to know what they’re dealing with, and save me some energy. I only try to look”normal” when I am undercover. Besides, what am I gonna do, grow it all out and do a Mrs Herman Munster? I can’t afford regular haircuts. If I could afford short hair I’d have short hair. I’d love to sit in a hairdressers chair every few weeks and have them clean up my neck hair but alas, I have other, more pressing financial priorities right now. The bangs are also a cheap way to have a low maintenance hairstyle.
Yes to all of this. I'm hoping that after a little while without bangs, when I return to them, they won't act like a cowlicky-asshole.
Maybe you just need to work with them and give them a different way to grow. Maybe they need to be longer or shorter. Also I found at one point that if I just blew them dry without using a brush to force them to do what I wanted them to do, they sat better.
I've tried everything. Part of the problem is my hair is a bit wavy, and seems to have suddenly gotten wavier. They've been taking up too much of my time and psychic energy. They rarely look how I want them to these days. I think I just need a break from them.
As others have noted, after 50, it's a crap shoot. One day my hair refused to go along with my plan, and it hasn't softened its stance (literally) since.
Yes. An aspect of aging I hadn't considered...
I don't have bangs, but I have had the same haircut for the last 20 years. A friend once told me that if you're a man past 50 years old, your hairstyle doesn't matter. I also tend to wear a "uniform." Khaki pants or black cords, gray or black t-shirts, and Blundstones. I just turned 55 today, and maybe it's time to change my look? But I also like the comfort that comes with not having to decide what to wear every day. Maybe add some color? But then I'd have to think too much. Maybe in the future I'll just wear a one-piece jumpsuit? 100 SPF and fireproof. There's also the nudist colony option.
Happy 55th, Michael! I so relate to the "uniform." I have a few of those. Also, see: https://longreads.com/2018/03/26/the-year-of-the-jumpsuit/
Yes! The jumpsuit! Or maybe the Star Trek uniform...
😂
I love this. My bangs are driving me nuts right now. 😂 I’ve had and then grown out bangs 3 different times in my life and they are a pain to grow out!! But it can be fun to create a new look. So if your bangs are long enough to tuck back, I say keep going ! Try hair combs?
I had bangs for years and years and years. Then I went gray and said goodbye bangs and so happy!!! You can always cut again!! go for it!!!
i've always been a bit of a chameleon, which gets in the way of continuity when it comes to drawing myself in autobiographical sequential art. i have a difficult time keeping a hairstyle from one month to the next, i get so bored! but i've been trying hard to look like my last professional author's photos, since i don't want to show up to events looking like a different person, and i DON'T want to spring for new ones. so i guess i have the opposite problem!
I admire how unattached you are to any particular look!
Your bangs and or without bangs tell the story of you and your world, revealing or secreting away a wonderful face, and a forehead revealed is powerful and bold, expressive and open. I always thought your bangs were so you, but we do change, and it may be that those animated bangs are reacting to climate change, external and internal. The only time I had bangs was in kindergarten--also the only time, for some crazy reason, my hair was straight and blond. Since then dull brown, curls, frizz, some times lucky waves. Covering gray happened before chemo induced bald times. When my hair grew back, on my surprisingly round head, it was darker (no gray!) and curlier (no frizz!) than before. It felt like a final fuck you to cancer, as well as the luck of the draw. I did not mind being bald and kept my hair really short for years, but like others, the cost became prohibitive. The gray returned, and now I waver every few months about the dye job, sometimes reluctantly giving in, but then feeling relief when I do. Then the cycle starts again. Maybe after menopause the cycle of our hair is a gauge of forever hormonally engaged bodies? Recommendations of good hair people in the Hudson Valley? Hudson? Kingston? Red Hook? Rhinebeck? I have tried a few, but not found one that likes to work with waves and curls.
Loved reading about your hair journey pre- and post-cancer, Emily. Will email you, re: places in the area. <3
I don't know you in person, so have never seen the totality of your face and hair, but IMO, go for it! Ditch the bangs and don't look back. As others have noted, you can always cut. them again. I personally love hair swept back off the face, which is elegant and timeless.
When I want to change my life, I start with my hair. During the pandemic, I fought the urge to shave my head (um, Zoom calls with colleagues?!), but kinda wish I'd gone for it.
I buy beautiful barrettes in the checkout line at Nordstrom Rack. Hundreds to choose from!
For most of my life, I’ve attempted to to make my very thick hair sleek and smooth. I thought that big frizzy hair was tacky. Cut to age 40 (now)- The massive amts of hair I lost after my 3rd pregnancy is growing back gray and curly! So, now, I’m attempting to lean into this new texture and embrace the frizz/volume. But, I still jump at my reflection.
I got a totally different haircut once while I was away on holiday years ago, pre-Covid, and it was a relief to get comfortable with it before arriving home. I think the regular people who know me can get just as locked-in to how they think I should look as I might do, and it was liberating to break away from expectations. So periodically I switch things up, just to stay flexible.
Right now, it's growing out my bangs and wow has that been frustrating. Wispy hair in my eyes all the time, barrettes that slide around or get caught and break off hair, headbands that get too hot. But I've persisted and am pleased I did.
I wish it wasn't so 'important' but hair matters to how I feel about myself. I don't mean perfect hair. Hair that looks sporty, willing to take a chance, experiment with colour, a different way to part it or hold it back . . .