I’m sitting shiva for my country. When it ends, I’m focusing hyper local, leaning into my communities (singing, bowling, animal shelter) and paying more attention to the vulnerable. Will also step up with the league of Women Voters (nonpartisan), who focus on voter registration and education.
I, too, am sitting shiva this week. Rather than force myself to function I'm just sitting in all the feels and grieving. So many loved ones in my life are uncertain and scared right now; my next step after shiva will be to tend to them, the living, in whatever capacity they need, to help them feel safe and loved.
I will not be watching or listening to the news for 4 years, starting today. That will definitely help. Spend time enjoying nature and sharing pet videos!
My plan as well. The election outcome happened while I was glued to the news, nothing about my consumption of it changed the results. Better to keep myself healthy than listen to four years of the ramblings of a mad man.
I'm remembering screaming at the black and white TV in 1968 and a few other presidents I couldn't stand. We're still here. I bought some beautiful colored pens for doodling, great stress relief!
We need to be informed to point out where Trump's fascism is showing up. My Dentist on election day was telling me that "the liberal Democrats are calling Trump a Fascist, but that is hyperbole!" I had to show my dentist, by emailed internet articles of the many people saying that about Trump in the News on the subject of his fascist tendencies. Clearly too many Americans weren't paying attention to our politics. Some Americans didn't know Joe Biden dropped out of the race in July. Please Stay Tuned - but maybe not as often as you used to. I'm cutting back on my MSNBC, CNN, WA Week in Review, Frontline .... maybe not Frontline and I'll do MSNBC once a week (Joy Reid and Ari Melber ONLY).
Hey, please see this note inside the post: “There’s a lot of finger-pointing and excuse-making going on right now, plus a lot of Monday morning quarterbacking about what went wrong, and that is NOT what this thread is for. I’m finding it toxic; I can’t take in more of that at this moment, and I don’t want any of it, or any kind of fighting, in this comment thread. Please respect my wishes. Thank you.”
Sari. I like reading your stuff. I want to go to Paid Subscriber but lost a job 18 months ago, due to a Medical Emergency in the family (my aged mother). So close to retirement myself... S*** Sandwich generation and feeling like the S**t in between the bread these days.
I am reading all my Abigail Thomas I can find. I cut loose F/B friends and relatives who appear not to get what this election was about. I am speaking up about my sadness in my 12-Step meetings because I find the predicament my country’s morals are in are not political but personal. I plan to increase my annual donation to the non-profit Freedom From Religion Foundation. A lapsed Unitarian, I definitely won’t be praying to any male deities. I stopped my subscription to the Writers Almanac and other male-dominated posts that refuse to emphasize the accomplishments of the female half of the world. I have quit speaking the so-called winner’s name. I wrote a poem with a funny metaphor that made me feel better that I sent to my closest women friends. I rejoined the National Organization of Women even though I don’t always like or agree with its position on every issue. I sent love notes to loved ones. I will send love notes to the female winners in my local elections (five women are going to Congress from my state, up from one!). Word by word I will get through this and what next in all the years beyond my already 79 years. I refuse to be a slave to negativity. It’s a wide road ahead and I have promised myself plenty of rest stops. I have promised myself to remember the sloggers who have gone before me. I will read the blogs that jog the gratitude nerve endings of my memory.
Sari, you—here, a beacon. That is light. You asking us not to place blame: light, too. We are all here because we are makers of some kind—makers of words, of things, of life, of meals, of ideas. I am pledging to make one or two new things each week (words for my Substack, art to accompany the words). When fully engaged in that way, I breathe. When I breathe I become more whole. This is not turning away from the world. It is leaning in closer, to catch its whispers.
I signed up to be one of the "open door" professors on my campus this week. Somehow, consoling my sobbing female students has been consoling me, too. I guess the "We'll get through this" message isn't just for them.
I found that to be true as a parent when Bush beat Kerry. I could move my mind to a place of logic to comfort my frightened children that I couldn't have accessed for myself. I remember telling them that there were many million people who were going to try to keep Bush from doing anything too bad. We got through that time. Someday there will be a time we don't get through, but I want to be open to as much joy and laughter and possible until that one comes.
I found comfort in the movie "Here," starring Tom Hanks and Robin Wright. The concept of time and humans marching on gave me solace in the thought that we will get through this with the people we love. I have taken the brilliant stars idea (so much light Bush's points of light metaphor) seriously and signed up to volunteer with the National Runaway Safeline to field calls from distraught, homeless teens as I was one once long ago. I'm also eager to volunteer with Asheville's Homeward Bound community. Volunteer work will get me through this and make me feel like I'm part of the solution not the problem. And I'll keep writing, and may play my flute more often. And keep hiking. And not listen to the news, which I hate to say, but the last time, it just made me too sick.
I, too, went to the movie “Here” be distracted and escape from the devastation of what I was feeling and ugly sobbed throughout the entire movie. So heart wrenching but most often the only way out of our pain is through it—one step at a time. I’m giving myself permission to trust the process of grief and be gentle and take care of myself and acknowledge what a tremendous loss we are experiencing. We will gradually. get through this but today—I’m going out to rake leaves.
I raked leaves this weekend, too, and it helped me. It was satisfying to feel the contrast of the rugged earth pulling against my rake and the airy flight of the leaves into piles.
I still am sick to my stomach. First the grief of my fresh widowhood ( I hate that word) the grief of being bullied out of the American Legion Tuesday by a few but one in particular man who I tried to be neutral with and he ended up gaslighting me to point that the condoned malevolent misogyny sent me out. I really was shocked. Now my rescue dog is dying. Hasn’t eaten for days. My granddaughter has chosen to homeschool because no one at her Jr. High will address the horrible bullying going on there. She’s too smart and kind to be subjected to that cruelty. So I’m working in the garden again. I can’t eat again. I vacuumed yesterday and my vacuum died! Holy hell. I think I will do what another said and stop watching news. So far that helps. I did stock up on ice cream. I think going to a movie is a good idea and I hope to see “Here”.
Engaging in a kind of sitting Shiva for my little dog .I could use a corny movie. When this is done, I'll go. Focus on our girls and give them smarts and courage, we are going to need it.
We will survive. We will prevail. We will not go back. Many of us older women are exhausted and numb, but I still want to help the younger women kick the ass of the patriarchy. Thank you.
Exactly, it's been 50 years since the 70's when I thought we were making progress. I guess the media and the Kardashians polluted a lot of young women. I think Hugh Hefner did the rest.
In the immediate aftermath, I have had no interest in What Went Wrong, only What Do I Do Next. I've been looking for practical guidance on getting myself and vulnerable friends and family through this. Love to you all,
PS -- I'm going to clean like a m'fer this weekend and get rid of stuff.
Yes to What Do I Do Next. Cleaning really does help. Very Zen. I’ve started with one drawer in the refrigerator. Gonna go nuts on the rest of it and our kitchen cabinets soon, too…
I’m reading more. Both fiction and nonfiction. Trying to limit my consumption of social media. I also text my friends a good morning message each day. Not expecting a response but just to send out that invitation for connection. I’m trying to be calm but I’m not. I have a desire to run away. Not sure where “away” is, but I want to run.
My goal was to move back home to D.C./MD, but the election shot that to pieces, so I'm regrouping and putting a new plan together... I live in AZ and hate it, so I'm thinking about moving to CA or Washington State. I've actually looked into moving to Canada as well, but I heard they are less likely to accept 'older' people to move there (I'm only in my 50's). I was an Attorney but I'm now working on getting my Masters in Addiction Counseling, so I'm joining the IC&RC so I can leave the U.S. and work elsewhere.
Also history helps. Earlier this year I read the fantastic "Master Slave Husband Wife: An Epic Journey from Slavery to Freedom." It's an epic read and the escape section reads like a thriller. But the part after that about how the abolitionists worked (and made mistakes along the way) was incredibly powerful. I'd never heard that some abolitionists thought they shouldn't vote because the system was so corrupt. This helped me be less judgemental of young folks today who refused to vote for moral reasons, even though I disagreed with their position. We are all just humans, always were, always will be.
Just started "The Demon of Unrest: A Saga of Hubris, Heartbreak, and Heroism at the Dawn of the Civil War" which I'm not sure I can make it through now.
Have you read "Fever in the Heartland" by Timothy Egan? It's an eye popping read, historical, on how the Klan moved to Illinois and the leader, D.C. Stephenson. He would grab women's breasts in front of anyone in broad daylight. And he played Mussolini, just like Trump. It's happening again! I'm wondering why no one ever taught this history in school. Lock step with Columbus discovered America! We have been indoctrinated from birth.
I love to read, and if I may make a suggestion...if you like non-fiction I HIGHLY recommend anything written Erik Larson: "The Devil in the White City", "Isaac's Storm", "The Demon of Unrest", "Dead Wake", and I'm currently reading "The Splendid and the Vile", which is about the history of Winston Churchill as Prime Minister at the dawn of WWII and the German invasion of England. EXCELLENT writer, you won't be disappointed!
First, I want to thank you, Sari, for your posts, your words, your speaking up and speaking out and offering a space for others to do so as well. I’m slowly emerging from a state of numbness. Writing has been a help and friends. And of I think of Kamala Harris and the heroic effort it will take for her recovery, wow. And she was such a force in her concession speech. I think of her and it helps.
Thank you for these kind words, Nancy. They mean a lot to me. I have been thinking of Kamala, too. Imagine what she is going through. And that concession speech was moving…and classy.
I’m 50. Did a social media fast at first, still fasting from news. Pleasantly surprised when I looked at Threads that the algorithm was feeding me introductions from other black women artists and dreamers who were looking to connect. I’ve generally been the minority in the spaces I move in and never fully understood the emotional impact of needing to explain the double vision I’ve had to have to navigate the world. I didn’t know, until I was reading those Threads, how much I really need a space where minimal explanation is needed. So I’ve been leaning into that space, and slowly moving through my grief in my journal and thinking through how I can both spread love and care in a time where I know it will be needed while also prioritizing my own mental health and care. There’s nothing to pour out right now and I’m kinda sitting with that and finding peace with it. Also, I second Gentle Whispering’s ASMR! Her voice has soothed me to sleep often over the last 10 or so years and I’ve had the added benefit of feeling like I’ve had a chance to watch her blossom into an amazing woman and mother. Leaning in to the joy of that kind of recognition as well.
Another "Gentle Whispering" head! I am so happy to hear you are finding much-needed community on Threads. I need to finally get off Twitter/X because it is toxic, and it has given Musk too much power. <3
How can I get the link to Threads? I'm a Black woman also, I'm just heartbroken that my Soror didn't succeed in her bid for President, and I need to connect. Please let me know how to do that (I'm not quite "tech savvy". Thank you in advance!
Starting the morning a bit earlier now…meditating for 15 minutes…listening to a sound wave designed to sharpen the mind and focusing on the positives. A peaceful transition…an excellent campaign from Harris and many wonderful volunteers. I am practicing forgiveness to all the women in this country who were not able to see the great loss ahead by electing a convicted felon, agitator and morally corrupt narcissist. Taking away women’s fundamental right to their bodies is a travesty.
“Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do.”
Yes. I am thankful for no insurrection this time, and a peaceful transfer of power, even though I wish it weren’t happening. When I get back to meditating, I will send those women lovingkindness.
Yes. I have issues with what I call "the forgiveness lobby," which I believe oversimplifies what forgiveness means, and requires. But even if I'm still angry, I can offer lovingkindness, and that helps me, too. <3
News fast. Turning to poetry instead. Exercising. Still in my feelings, but eventually I will get to my intellect so signed up for a six-week class on Power, Politics, and People. Hoping for a long walk this weekend. Really it's a bit day by day right now.
No, it's an NYU Continuing Ed class, just a few minutes walk from my office, so I got approval to take a little longer lunch every Wednesday while it runs.
Biggest thing is something I'm not doing. I'm not watching or listening to the news. I can check the weather on my phone. Listening to a lot of music as I mourn the loss of decency in our country. So glad I found making art in the autumn of my years. No negative thoughts enter my head when I'm doing that.
Thank you so much, Sari, for letting us in during these dark days. Even though we have never met in person, I feel our souls have met. I, too, an absolutely devastated and shocked that A clown will be in charge of our wonderful country. What I have found helpful is writing poetry about the horror in ways, sometimes, that are soothing or even satirical. I wrote on yesterday morning in my daily journal that somewhat soothed my spirit:
I just know that we’re kindred spirits! We’ll manage to handle this presidential disaster by reaching out to volunteer when we have more stamina and courage than we have today. It takes time to mourn and then get back to ourselves.
Accept the grieving process, as many of us really feel the loss of our country. It's different from the loss of a loved one, but oddly similar. Grieving is a process that will subside. Let's not deny it.
I’m losing some loved ones, hopefully temporarily. Speaking on the phone across the miles, I could hear the change in her voice when she was parroting the BS ladled out to the gullible. It’s shockingly self-loathing when you strip away the context of where she lives. It’s also very offensive. I will be taking a break from contact at all. Just step back, unnoticed probably.
In the end, it’s myself I have to live with: what ethics I uphold that determines my self-respect. I’ve lived without self-respect, and it’s more essential than anything else right now. Disrespect from ignoramuses is a hard no.
Authoritarians want you to feel disempowered and afraid. I remain defiant. I’m reaching for empowerment and joy.
I’m gathering my tribe of like-minded people. Having community is helping me stay out of despair so I’m looking to join more communities. (This community is one I’ll be leaning into more, thanks Sari!) I’m no longer paying attention to the news. Instead I’m reading more and am back to writing poetry.
Finally, I’m meditating every day. My current streak is 226 days. I’m determined to make it to at least one year because I know it will support my mental health which will be critical for the coming years.
Thank you. Having my life threatened four times before the age of 32 taught me self preservation and resilience. I’m thankful for that now. That said, I did shed some tears during PT yesterday so it still takes effort.
I refuse to be devastated. I can't let the bad dreams in. I'm too old to allow suffering of this sort into my life. I need to just get on with it. I expect that the effect of this electoral result on my life and immediate surroundings will be insignificant. I live a tiny life in a tiny house in a tiny village out in the country. The election is over, the bad guys won, and for me, it's back to work on my writing, my friends, my housekeeping, winterizing my little garden and my little car. Don't let the bad dreams in -- there's not room in my heart for them.
I’m sitting shiva for my country. When it ends, I’m focusing hyper local, leaning into my communities (singing, bowling, animal shelter) and paying more attention to the vulnerable. Will also step up with the league of Women Voters (nonpartisan), who focus on voter registration and education.
I, too, am sitting shiva this week. Rather than force myself to function I'm just sitting in all the feels and grieving. So many loved ones in my life are uncertain and scared right now; my next step after shiva will be to tend to them, the living, in whatever capacity they need, to help them feel safe and loved.
Yes. <3
I will not be watching or listening to the news for 4 years, starting today. That will definitely help. Spend time enjoying nature and sharing pet videos!
I am really dreading seeing and hearing that guy in the media for the next four years, and will do my best to avoid it, too.
Ugh. Just the voice alone.
I know, I turn it off every time!
My plan as well. The election outcome happened while I was glued to the news, nothing about my consumption of it changed the results. Better to keep myself healthy than listen to four years of the ramblings of a mad man.
I can’t stand to look at him or hear him. I’ll try to avoid it, but it’s going to be a long four years…
I'm remembering screaming at the black and white TV in 1968 and a few other presidents I couldn't stand. We're still here. I bought some beautiful colored pens for doodling, great stress relief!
Gonna do some doodling myself…
1968, right there with you. (I was nine years old, but I grew up in a hyper-political lefty household.)
That was the first year I could vote and I remember it well.
I understand this instinct. Yet we must keep ourselves informed, and better hold the media accountable, whom I believe is culpable in this outcome.
That’s where the written word is priceless to me. I do not need to see or hear the propagandists.
And when necessary, can skim or SKIP any content I want. My choice.
We need to be informed to point out where Trump's fascism is showing up. My Dentist on election day was telling me that "the liberal Democrats are calling Trump a Fascist, but that is hyperbole!" I had to show my dentist, by emailed internet articles of the many people saying that about Trump in the News on the subject of his fascist tendencies. Clearly too many Americans weren't paying attention to our politics. Some Americans didn't know Joe Biden dropped out of the race in July. Please Stay Tuned - but maybe not as often as you used to. I'm cutting back on my MSNBC, CNN, WA Week in Review, Frontline .... maybe not Frontline and I'll do MSNBC once a week (Joy Reid and Ari Melber ONLY).
Hey, please see this note inside the post: “There’s a lot of finger-pointing and excuse-making going on right now, plus a lot of Monday morning quarterbacking about what went wrong, and that is NOT what this thread is for. I’m finding it toxic; I can’t take in more of that at this moment, and I don’t want any of it, or any kind of fighting, in this comment thread. Please respect my wishes. Thank you.”
Sari. I like reading your stuff. I want to go to Paid Subscriber but lost a job 18 months ago, due to a Medical Emergency in the family (my aged mother). So close to retirement myself... S*** Sandwich generation and feeling like the S**t in between the bread these days.
I am reading all my Abigail Thomas I can find. I cut loose F/B friends and relatives who appear not to get what this election was about. I am speaking up about my sadness in my 12-Step meetings because I find the predicament my country’s morals are in are not political but personal. I plan to increase my annual donation to the non-profit Freedom From Religion Foundation. A lapsed Unitarian, I definitely won’t be praying to any male deities. I stopped my subscription to the Writers Almanac and other male-dominated posts that refuse to emphasize the accomplishments of the female half of the world. I have quit speaking the so-called winner’s name. I wrote a poem with a funny metaphor that made me feel better that I sent to my closest women friends. I rejoined the National Organization of Women even though I don’t always like or agree with its position on every issue. I sent love notes to loved ones. I will send love notes to the female winners in my local elections (five women are going to Congress from my state, up from one!). Word by word I will get through this and what next in all the years beyond my already 79 years. I refuse to be a slave to negativity. It’s a wide road ahead and I have promised myself plenty of rest stops. I have promised myself to remember the sloggers who have gone before me. I will read the blogs that jog the gratitude nerve endings of my memory.
I did that in 2016. I didn't pay attention to the news until Covid.
This sounds perfect!
Sari, you—here, a beacon. That is light. You asking us not to place blame: light, too. We are all here because we are makers of some kind—makers of words, of things, of life, of meals, of ideas. I am pledging to make one or two new things each week (words for my Substack, art to accompany the words). When fully engaged in that way, I breathe. When I breathe I become more whole. This is not turning away from the world. It is leaning in closer, to catch its whispers.
Thank you, Beth. And I love this. I commit to making new things, too. <3
I commit to creating new things weekly as well. A great way to soothe my soul.
I signed up to be one of the "open door" professors on my campus this week. Somehow, consoling my sobbing female students has been consoling me, too. I guess the "We'll get through this" message isn't just for them.
I love this, Pam. <3
I found that to be true as a parent when Bush beat Kerry. I could move my mind to a place of logic to comfort my frightened children that I couldn't have accessed for myself. I remember telling them that there were many million people who were going to try to keep Bush from doing anything too bad. We got through that time. Someday there will be a time we don't get through, but I want to be open to as much joy and laughter and possible until that one comes.
From a parent with a college aged daughter, thank you.
I found comfort in the movie "Here," starring Tom Hanks and Robin Wright. The concept of time and humans marching on gave me solace in the thought that we will get through this with the people we love. I have taken the brilliant stars idea (so much light Bush's points of light metaphor) seriously and signed up to volunteer with the National Runaway Safeline to field calls from distraught, homeless teens as I was one once long ago. I'm also eager to volunteer with Asheville's Homeward Bound community. Volunteer work will get me through this and make me feel like I'm part of the solution not the problem. And I'll keep writing, and may play my flute more often. And keep hiking. And not listen to the news, which I hate to say, but the last time, it just made me too sick.
Volunteering—yes. I will do that when I'm a little more grounded. And I've been eager to see "Here." Will try to watch this weekend. Thanks!
I, too, went to the movie “Here” be distracted and escape from the devastation of what I was feeling and ugly sobbed throughout the entire movie. So heart wrenching but most often the only way out of our pain is through it—one step at a time. I’m giving myself permission to trust the process of grief and be gentle and take care of myself and acknowledge what a tremendous loss we are experiencing. We will gradually. get through this but today—I’m going out to rake leaves.
I raked leaves this weekend, too, and it helped me. It was satisfying to feel the contrast of the rugged earth pulling against my rake and the airy flight of the leaves into piles.
<3
Sink, So As To Rise
There are circumstances that must shatter you;
And if you are not shattered, then you have not understood your circumstances.
In such circumstances, it is a failure for your heart not to break.
And it is pointless to put up a fight, for a fight will blind you to the opportunity that has been presented by your misfortune.
Do you wish to persevere pridefully in the old life?
Of course you do: the old life was a good life.
But it is no longer available to you. It has been carried away, irreversibly.
So there is only one thing to be done.
Transformation must be met with transformation.
Where there was the old life, let there be the new life.
Do not persevere.
Dignify the shock.
Sink, so as to rise.
Thank you for this. <3
Jude, did you write this?
No-it’s an old Aramaic prayer—but seems to fit the time of need-at least it does for me and gives me some comfort and reassurance.
I love it, but I think it was written by Leon Wieseltier :)
I still am sick to my stomach. First the grief of my fresh widowhood ( I hate that word) the grief of being bullied out of the American Legion Tuesday by a few but one in particular man who I tried to be neutral with and he ended up gaslighting me to point that the condoned malevolent misogyny sent me out. I really was shocked. Now my rescue dog is dying. Hasn’t eaten for days. My granddaughter has chosen to homeschool because no one at her Jr. High will address the horrible bullying going on there. She’s too smart and kind to be subjected to that cruelty. So I’m working in the garden again. I can’t eat again. I vacuumed yesterday and my vacuum died! Holy hell. I think I will do what another said and stop watching news. So far that helps. I did stock up on ice cream. I think going to a movie is a good idea and I hope to see “Here”.
Saw “Here” last night. A good, if corny, diversion.
Engaging in a kind of sitting Shiva for my little dog .I could use a corny movie. When this is done, I'll go. Focus on our girls and give them smarts and courage, we are going to need it.
We will survive. We will prevail. We will not go back. Many of us older women are exhausted and numb, but I still want to help the younger women kick the ass of the patriarchy. Thank you.
Yes! I keep seeing memes of older women saying “I can’t believe I still have to fight for this stuff…”
Something I made about this.... https://substack.com/home/post/p-151372412?r=401uqz&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Oh, that's great. Thank you.
Exactly, it's been 50 years since the 70's when I thought we were making progress. I guess the media and the Kardashians polluted a lot of young women. I think Hugh Hefner did the rest.
Bookmarking this thread.
In the immediate aftermath, I have had no interest in What Went Wrong, only What Do I Do Next. I've been looking for practical guidance on getting myself and vulnerable friends and family through this. Love to you all,
PS -- I'm going to clean like a m'fer this weekend and get rid of stuff.
Yes to What Do I Do Next. Cleaning really does help. Very Zen. I’ve started with one drawer in the refrigerator. Gonna go nuts on the rest of it and our kitchen cabinets soon, too…
I'm new to substack. How does one bookmark a post? Thanks
The upper right top of the page of the original post is a gray circle with three dots. Click that and then click the Save bookmark at the bottom.
I'm not really versed in Substack myself so just throwing a regular, old bookmark in my browser. Here's to better days,
I’m reading more. Both fiction and nonfiction. Trying to limit my consumption of social media. I also text my friends a good morning message each day. Not expecting a response but just to send out that invitation for connection. I’m trying to be calm but I’m not. I have a desire to run away. Not sure where “away” is, but I want to run.
I know exactly how you feel, Marcy. I'd like an "away" too.
Are you going to Portugal?
I’ve applied…
I want to run too. I’ve been texting all my connections in EU and UK.
I’m applying for citizenship in Portugal.
Canada is closer!
My goal was to move back home to D.C./MD, but the election shot that to pieces, so I'm regrouping and putting a new plan together... I live in AZ and hate it, so I'm thinking about moving to CA or Washington State. I've actually looked into moving to Canada as well, but I heard they are less likely to accept 'older' people to move there (I'm only in my 50's). I was an Attorney but I'm now working on getting my Masters in Addiction Counseling, so I'm joining the IC&RC so I can leave the U.S. and work elsewhere.
Thousands have moved to WA and it is displacing the elders like me. There’s nothing to rent on my SS income for two hundred miles.
Also history helps. Earlier this year I read the fantastic "Master Slave Husband Wife: An Epic Journey from Slavery to Freedom." It's an epic read and the escape section reads like a thriller. But the part after that about how the abolitionists worked (and made mistakes along the way) was incredibly powerful. I'd never heard that some abolitionists thought they shouldn't vote because the system was so corrupt. This helped me be less judgemental of young folks today who refused to vote for moral reasons, even though I disagreed with their position. We are all just humans, always were, always will be.
Just started "The Demon of Unrest: A Saga of Hubris, Heartbreak, and Heroism at the Dawn of the Civil War" which I'm not sure I can make it through now.
Have you read "Fever in the Heartland" by Timothy Egan? It's an eye popping read, historical, on how the Klan moved to Illinois and the leader, D.C. Stephenson. He would grab women's breasts in front of anyone in broad daylight. And he played Mussolini, just like Trump. It's happening again! I'm wondering why no one ever taught this history in school. Lock step with Columbus discovered America! We have been indoctrinated from birth.
I love to read, and if I may make a suggestion...if you like non-fiction I HIGHLY recommend anything written Erik Larson: "The Devil in the White City", "Isaac's Storm", "The Demon of Unrest", "Dead Wake", and I'm currently reading "The Splendid and the Vile", which is about the history of Winston Churchill as Prime Minister at the dawn of WWII and the German invasion of England. EXCELLENT writer, you won't be disappointed!
So do I
First, I want to thank you, Sari, for your posts, your words, your speaking up and speaking out and offering a space for others to do so as well. I’m slowly emerging from a state of numbness. Writing has been a help and friends. And of I think of Kamala Harris and the heroic effort it will take for her recovery, wow. And she was such a force in her concession speech. I think of her and it helps.
Thank you for these kind words, Nancy. They mean a lot to me. I have been thinking of Kamala, too. Imagine what she is going through. And that concession speech was moving…and classy.
I’m 50. Did a social media fast at first, still fasting from news. Pleasantly surprised when I looked at Threads that the algorithm was feeding me introductions from other black women artists and dreamers who were looking to connect. I’ve generally been the minority in the spaces I move in and never fully understood the emotional impact of needing to explain the double vision I’ve had to have to navigate the world. I didn’t know, until I was reading those Threads, how much I really need a space where minimal explanation is needed. So I’ve been leaning into that space, and slowly moving through my grief in my journal and thinking through how I can both spread love and care in a time where I know it will be needed while also prioritizing my own mental health and care. There’s nothing to pour out right now and I’m kinda sitting with that and finding peace with it. Also, I second Gentle Whispering’s ASMR! Her voice has soothed me to sleep often over the last 10 or so years and I’ve had the added benefit of feeling like I’ve had a chance to watch her blossom into an amazing woman and mother. Leaning in to the joy of that kind of recognition as well.
Another "Gentle Whispering" head! I am so happy to hear you are finding much-needed community on Threads. I need to finally get off Twitter/X because it is toxic, and it has given Musk too much power. <3
How can I get the link to Threads? I'm a Black woman also, I'm just heartbroken that my Soror didn't succeed in her bid for President, and I need to connect. Please let me know how to do that (I'm not quite "tech savvy". Thank you in advance!
http://threads.net
Starting the morning a bit earlier now…meditating for 15 minutes…listening to a sound wave designed to sharpen the mind and focusing on the positives. A peaceful transition…an excellent campaign from Harris and many wonderful volunteers. I am practicing forgiveness to all the women in this country who were not able to see the great loss ahead by electing a convicted felon, agitator and morally corrupt narcissist. Taking away women’s fundamental right to their bodies is a travesty.
“Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do.”
Yes. I am thankful for no insurrection this time, and a peaceful transfer of power, even though I wish it weren’t happening. When I get back to meditating, I will send those women lovingkindness.
I've always had a problem with the “forgiveness “ part. Something for me to work on. Thank you.
Yes. I have issues with what I call "the forgiveness lobby," which I believe oversimplifies what forgiveness means, and requires. But even if I'm still angry, I can offer lovingkindness, and that helps me, too. <3
News fast. Turning to poetry instead. Exercising. Still in my feelings, but eventually I will get to my intellect so signed up for a six-week class on Power, Politics, and People. Hoping for a long walk this weekend. Really it's a bit day by day right now.
Poetry! Yes, great suggestion/reminder, thank you!
I need to read more poetry. Slows the mind down. Sounds like a great class. Is it online? If so, got a link? Thanks, Masha.
No, it's an NYU Continuing Ed class, just a few minutes walk from my office, so I got approval to take a little longer lunch every Wednesday while it runs.
Oh, now great.
Biggest thing is something I'm not doing. I'm not watching or listening to the news. I can check the weather on my phone. Listening to a lot of music as I mourn the loss of decency in our country. So glad I found making art in the autumn of my years. No negative thoughts enter my head when I'm doing that.
Brilliant.
Thank you so much, Sari, for letting us in during these dark days. Even though we have never met in person, I feel our souls have met. I, too, an absolutely devastated and shocked that A clown will be in charge of our wonderful country. What I have found helpful is writing poetry about the horror in ways, sometimes, that are soothing or even satirical. I wrote on yesterday morning in my daily journal that somewhat soothed my spirit:
a lost cause for concern
in shaky fearful unknown steps
i spun around startled
like a top in motion
when i peeked at our clown
as he jammed our white house
into a shabby tent —
a circus for acrobats
a freakish gathering
where no one knows
how to even care
Bella Ruth Bader
Yes, Bella, I feel that, too. Thank you for your response, and your poetry. <3
I just know that we’re kindred spirits! We’ll manage to handle this presidential disaster by reaching out to volunteer when we have more stamina and courage than we have today. It takes time to mourn and then get back to ourselves.
Agree! And well said. <3
Accept the grieving process, as many of us really feel the loss of our country. It's different from the loss of a loved one, but oddly similar. Grieving is a process that will subside. Let's not deny it.
Well said. Yes.
I’m losing some loved ones, hopefully temporarily. Speaking on the phone across the miles, I could hear the change in her voice when she was parroting the BS ladled out to the gullible. It’s shockingly self-loathing when you strip away the context of where she lives. It’s also very offensive. I will be taking a break from contact at all. Just step back, unnoticed probably.
In the end, it’s myself I have to live with: what ethics I uphold that determines my self-respect. I’ve lived without self-respect, and it’s more essential than anything else right now. Disrespect from ignoramuses is a hard no.
Authoritarians want you to feel disempowered and afraid. I remain defiant. I’m reaching for empowerment and joy.
I’m gathering my tribe of like-minded people. Having community is helping me stay out of despair so I’m looking to join more communities. (This community is one I’ll be leaning into more, thanks Sari!) I’m no longer paying attention to the news. Instead I’m reading more and am back to writing poetry.
Finally, I’m meditating every day. My current streak is 226 days. I’m determined to make it to at least one year because I know it will support my mental health which will be critical for the coming years.
I’m in awe of your meditation streak, Suzan. And inspired by it. Also, your resolve to remain defiant. <3
Thank you. Having my life threatened four times before the age of 32 taught me self preservation and resilience. I’m thankful for that now. That said, I did shed some tears during PT yesterday so it still takes effort.
So sorry you went through that.
I refuse to be devastated. I can't let the bad dreams in. I'm too old to allow suffering of this sort into my life. I need to just get on with it. I expect that the effect of this electoral result on my life and immediate surroundings will be insignificant. I live a tiny life in a tiny house in a tiny village out in the country. The election is over, the bad guys won, and for me, it's back to work on my writing, my friends, my housekeeping, winterizing my little garden and my little car. Don't let the bad dreams in -- there's not room in my heart for them.
I love your resolve. Thank you.