247 Comments
Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

I'm 71. For a few years, I noticed that I asked people to repeat themselves with increasing frequency. There seemed to be more mumbling going on. I had my hearing checked and was told I had mild age-related loss. Hearing aids could help. But I resisted. Turning 70 had come with a different struggle, something I'd never experienced around birthdays before. Adding hearing aids to my shifting self identity felt like too much. A tangible acknowledgement of my aging. So I kept complaining about mumbling and saying "what did you say?" way too often. It was being asked by a teacher to facilitate a book discussion during a writing retreat that pushed me over the edge. I knew I'd never be able to hear the comments of the 30 participants. Reluctantly, I returned to the audiologist. Reluctantly, I paid for expensive hearing aids. Reluctantly, I started to wear them, newly grateful for my curly hair that provided cover. And then I started to hear again. The beeping sound my car made when I backed up Bird songs. The creakings of my house. And yes, the voices of the discussion participants. I love my hearing aids. I can listen to audio books through them! And I've started talking about them. Finding others who think there's lots of mumbling going on. Texting me later to ask what brand I wear.

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author

This is great to hear. Glad you stopped resisting!

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

Thanks for loving your HAs! I’m with you. I have a lot of family and friends who’ve tried them and don’t like the “loudness” they experience but what I learned is that if you wear them 14 hrs/day for 14 days our brains adjust and by then consider them as normal. When I’ve asked friends who “hate” them or tried and never put on again, they usually haven’t given them this full try. I do also love my wired Bose noise cancelling headphones (sadly no longer made) which for music/audio provide great sound as they truly cancel all irrelevant background noise. They are SO EFFECTIVE in airplanes/metros and, sadly, I’ve found no wireless version (Bose, Apple, others) that are as good. I called Bose and they said there wasn’t a mkt anymore for wired headphones 😵‍💫

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

Wearing them is so key. I live alone so at first, I'd skip wearing them when I wasn't going to be around other people. My audiologist reminded me about the brain adjustment that only happens if the hearing aids are worn. Game changing advice.

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Ah! Good to know…

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

Thank you for the 14/14 information.

Doctor told me I would quit seeing it, and I have found that to be true with the initial flashing post cataract surgery. (My lenses seem to have a bevel).

It’s sorta cool to have evidence of the brain adjusting to new challenges so well. There’s the assumption that at some point we become ossified, and I don’t buy it at all.

May every day be music to your ears! 🎵 🎶

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So agree with you re Bose!!! Two isn't a market? :)

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Exactly. Stick it out!

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founding

Hi Barbara I call my hearing aids my motion detectors since they might make a high pitched sound if somebody gives me a bear hug😁

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I know that squeaky, scratchy sound. 😁

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This is pretty much my story! I tried some less expensive (or so I thought) options when I found myself wanting to accuse one too many people of mumbling. (It was when I realized I couldn’t always hear the sound turn signals make that I realized the problem was me.) The self-prescribed ones didn’t seem to help much so finally sought professional advice and discovered my health insurance had a great hearing aid benefit (lucky me!). Turns out my ear shape/size was why my previous efforts hadn’t worked. Now I have lovely, hair hide-able over the ear ones with a tiny nearly invisible tube to each ear. Blue tooth so can listen to podcasts and music (although not as good as good headphones) while walking my dog. Life is grand.

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I am 87+ years old. I got my hearing aids at 80 before I went into the Peace Corps. Folks wear glasses, braces on our teeth, use a cane..I am confused why wearing hear aids should be avoided. Not only can I hear my coworkers better, I can hear birds singing and the wind blowing and the trees rustling. May we age with dignity and enjoy hearing our grand children's laughter.

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I already had hearing loss from being too close to an exploding bomb in Afghanistan back in 1989, but then I went nearly deaf from my second round of Covid and have been wearing hearing aids ever since. They are a life-saver, and not being able to hear has been associated with higher rates of dementia, plus I could not reasonably live my life well without them. That being said, they are all ridiculously expensive, not covered by insurance, and the technology is not great in terms of hearing the richness of music or filtering out loud conversations or noise in a restaurant or being able to have pillow talk at night without the pillow creating screeching feedback in one's ear. I got my first pair at Costco. Phonak, in-the-ear, molded specifically to my ear. They're great! Relatively inexpensive ($2K+ compared to nearly $10K for the more expensive kind). But they're also very visible, which caused me shame at first but no longer. About to get a new pair, also molded to my ear but less visible, from a company called Opticon. Hoping they'll provide a less tinny-sounding sound. I tried the Eargo over-the-counter recommended by Wirecutter, and that was a waste of money for someone with my level of hearing loss. They were just too quiet for me, but I'm betting that for someone with mild hearing loss they'd be an excellent and nearly invisible boost. Anyway, the more we talk about hearing aids and destigmatize them--why are they any different, really, from eye glasses, which we practically fetishize?--the better. So I thank you for this post.

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author

Thanks for weighing in, Deborah, and with so many helpful specifics!

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One of my first Substacks, back in 2021, was on the power of Apple Airpods to act as hearing aids: https://deborahcopaken.substack.com/p/psa-your-airpods-pro-are-hearing They were a critical tool until I could get real ones. And when my pair was in the shop, getting repaired, they kinda-sorta worked to get me through those tough two weeks.

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Mar 30Liked by Sari Botton

There is a part of me that really wishes Apple would make actual hearing aides, but there’s another part that realizes they’d be even more ridiculously expensive than regular hearing aides. Even a bigger problem though would be if there were glitches in the software and you have to wait for them to release an update. Apple does tend to be good about being more conscientious with things that are really critical, but eventually something like that would happen because it always happens. Yet, the potential for how they could integrate it into your phone and other Apple devices makes me want to see what they could do.

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Apr 1Liked by Sari Botton

Two summers ago, after I discovered that the AirPod pros could act as hearing aids, I was having a crab dinner at one of those super casual outdoor places on the Delaware shore, when I overheard that the father of the family seated behind us worked at Apple, specifically on the team that designs AirPods. I literally stood up, introduced myself, and begged him to make a real hearing aid. Anyway, that was two years ago, he nodded kindly but also like, "Who is this crazy person interrupting my vacation meal with my family?"

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Sorry Deb, but your post is blocked for subscribers only?

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Okay, I think I fixed it. Thanks for letting me know. Please check on your end, to see if you can access it now.

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Weird! It's supposed to be free. Let me take a look.

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My sister asked me the same question when I whined about my hearing aid at age 14. My older sister - the wise one - said, "Because people can't see hearing aids, they think they're weird. But we see eyeglasses, bunches of them, every day." Yes, I never forgot her answer!

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You had my attention with "I already had hearing loss from being too close to an exploding bomb in Afghanistan..." Thanks for sharing your experiences, Deborah. I'm listening to "Ladyparts" on Audible while I walk my dog. This gives me added insight to your story.

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Thank you! Yeah, if I'd written LADYPARTS today, there would be many more chapters, including Ears, Hand, and (who knew!?) Parathyroid. lol

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I’m 53 and look and the idea of hearing aids was appalling. Luckily my partner’s brother has had hearing aids for awhile and normalized the idea for me at this age, but what did it for me was the link between hearing loss and dementia. I went to an audiologist I really liked, got devices that worked for me (that were covered 100% by my insurance plan—ask!!!) and wear them daily. Now I can have convos with people with their backs turned to me and I no longer have to ask people to repeat themselves. Would I prefer to have perfect hearing without, yes? But, I also wear glasses, and so it goes. Dementia is not something I’m willing to mess with. Making hearing aids sexy…that’s a very Gen X thing to do.

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Mar 30Liked by Sari Botton

I have never heard of insurance that covered hearing aides. That’s amazing. Good for you.

As far as making hearing aides sexy, I do wish manufacturers would consider approaching them as jewelry or something that you would wear so it could be seen. I think we’d get some interesting designs out of that. A bright almost neon pair of hearing aides kinda sounds cool. I’m not sure I’d ever wear something like that, but I would look at it with interest.

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My brother in law (my family) has white ones that look quite cool and I’ve seen some blingy ones. You can’t see mine bc I have long hair and now i use them in lieu of AirPods and look a bit odd when I’m walking around the grocery having a conversation seemingly with myself :)

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

I spent many years frustrated that my elderly father refused hearing aides. He missed so many interesting conversations with family that he otherwise would have enjoyed that I vowed I would walk my talk when my time came. At age 62 I started getting annual hearing tests. At 64 my fabulous audiologist recommended i try them out, even though my hearing loss was minimal. It was an adjustment for my brain to ignore the magnified unnecessary sounds (newspaper pages turning, car engine noises, furnace turning on) but within a few weeks I was totally convinced I’d made the right decision to jump on the hearing aide train early. I’m 70 now and a huge advocate of shedding the negative stigma of age related hearing loss.

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author

Love this. Thank you.

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I'm 70 years old. For years I had become accustomed to saying, "What?!" followed by, "You need hearing aids!" Something prevented me from getting them Perhaps it was the $8,000 cost not covered by any insurance or perhaps it was my refusal to accept the obvious truth. One day a friend told me that Costco, the largest supplier of hearing aids in the world, was very reasonable and that he got his there. I ventured out. The day I received them and the audiologist told me to walk around the store, as I stepped out into the huge Costco, I immediately burst into tears. OMG I CAN HEAR in the equivalent of technicolor

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author

Inspiring.

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

I am 63 and was sold on hearing aids when I learned that exercising my auditory nerves would preserve them. These nerves increase clarity (hearing aids only boost volume.). So if you want to preserve your hearing, don’t wait! Btw, I also started birding recently and now can hear their calls much better, a bonus I didn’t consider!

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author

What a lovely bonus!

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I’m 61 and got hearing aids last year. Shame? Absolutely not! I love my hear aids SO much. They’ve made a huge difference in how I relate interpersonally. Losing the beginnings and endings of words meant I had to think, to decode, to guess at some words when people were speaking to me. Not a big problem really, but it put a slight lag on understanding, which put a tiny lag on keeping up. As someone who thinks(and talks) at a million miles a minute this disconnect was disconcerting. Apparently, all those concerts I went to in the 70s and 80s did my ears no favors. After I got the hearing aids my 27 year old concert-going daughter said she should probably get her own ears checked and would be happy to get hearing aids if she needed them. Hopefully the times they are a changing.

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author

Love this perspective.

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

Just a note to add that if you are giving a public talk, presentation, etc, to PLEASE use a microphone. Too often folks are reluctant to do so and promise to “use their big voice,” but invariably drop tones with certain words, etc. And audiences are shy about raising a hand to ask for more volume. It’s good to always consider that there will be people with (invisible) hearing loss in any meeting or public audience

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Also, a hearing loop installed in a room or theater etc will only work if the speaker uses a microphone connected to the hearing loop system. Hearing aids with a telecoil will pick up the audio and transmit directly it into the ears. A huge improvement over straining to hear a speaker at public meetings.

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

I'm only 31, but many of my relatives are in their 60s and 70s and have begun wearing hearing aids and, as someone interacting with them, I love that it allows them to be engaged in the conversation at family events! Also, I am a psychologist whose research focuses on memory, and I urge you and/or your loved ones who are hard of hearing to wear your hearing aids to SAVE YOUR MEMORY! One of the strongest predictors of dementia onset is being hard of hearing - with reduced linguistic input to your brain, your cognitive function begins to deteriorate. This research finding was the only thing that got my fiance's dad to start wearing his hearing aids; maybe it will make a difference for others!

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

Unfortunately, my hearing is great. I just don't like what I'm hearing most of the time...

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author

😂

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

I now carry earplugs with me, as so often in public settings (waiting rooms, shops, restaurants, etc) the constant noise of tvs and overly-loud music seems to bother me more than ever

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I have had much experience with hearing loss as all three of my siblings have had severe hearing loss from an early age, so the thought of wearing hearing aids has been fraught with stigma and fear. I'm about to turn 72, and I know I have hearing loss but can't seem to bring myself to check out the kind of hearing aids that might help me carry on conversations without asking people to repeat what they said and turning the TV up so I can hear the dialogue. I'm so shamed by my hearing loss that I resist closed-captioning! I know this all sounds extreme, but when you've grown up with siblings whose hearing aids were literally strapped on devices causing bullying and "torture," it's hard to overcome that stigma. I'm very grateful for the comments I've already read because I am ready to schedule an appointment with an ENT. Thank you everyone!

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author

Oh, so glad to hear this might help lead you in that direction!

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

I’ve been losing my hearing since I was a kid. I hate my hearing aids and prefer the muffled quiet world in my head but like underwire bras, they’ve become a necessary evil. And just like my bra, they come right out as soon as I get home. I bought the Bose hearing aids because they’re Bluetooth compatible and relatively cheap. They suck. I have trouble hearing mid tones and most hearing aids only let you adjust volume and bass unless you’re willing to buy really high end aids. Most insurance plans don’t cover hearing aids. I know heating is important for my safety and to keep certain brain synapses firing but honestly, a quiet world is pretty nice.

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author

It's really a shame that health insurance doesn't cover so much of this. <3

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Mine covered at 100% but I had to really dig in and ask.

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author

I'm all for pushing insurance companies to do the right thing. It's exhausting (by design, I'm sure) but important to do.

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Just an additional note for US folks: when I called BCBS they told me they weren’t covered but when I called the insurance broker who handles our company’s insurance, she found out they were, which was $7k difference FFS! I hate our insurance system in the US and in this case, I’m glad I asked for help. Highly suggest that second or third phone call if you have a corporate policy.

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

I do agree there are moments when taking out my HAs is a relief, especially when in high-stimulus environments like restaurants, airports, box stores, etc. and good, programmable HAs are expensive ($2-5K/aid) so out of the question for many. It’s inconceivable that there’s so little insurance coverage for them, too.

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

The real issue is that our healthcare is commodified at all, but it also doesn't help that ears, teeth, eyes, etc. are treated like add-ons instead of part of our bodies.

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author

100%

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And feet too

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author

Truly inconceivable.

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Hi Sari! I’m the Managing Editor of HealthyHearing.com (along with being a Binder working on an unrelated memoir, and publishing a newsletter on Substack). I have tons of knowledge about hearing loss/tinnitus, and access to a mountain of hearing experts on this topic if you’d like to collaborate in some way. There is a lot of misinformation and stigma on this topic, so I’m glad to see you sharing your story and asking others to share!

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author

Oh, nice. Drop me a line at oldstermag@gmail.com

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done!

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Thank you!!! You’re helping everyone!

For every issue a Senior expects to encounter at some point, there’s a young person dealing with it at a much accelerated onset too.

With the incredible bass levels in some passing cars (audible at two blocks away!), we can expect an epidemic of hearing loss in the near future too.

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Mar 29Liked by Sari Botton

I’m 64. My ears ring constantly which interferes with my clarification of what I hear but I’ve also lost the high end of my hearing. I was told I needed hearing aids but they are $5000.00 for the type I need so I will not be getting them. Even if they were just $2000. I wouldn’t have the money to buy them.

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author

It's such a shame that we don't have more affordable health care options!

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Tinnitus is horrible, isn’t it. I wonder if hearing aids help with that incessant ringing.

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The hearing aid person said it could help. ??

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Thanks for sharing on this very important topic. I was at a dinner last night in a room with background noise, and it was obvious that the 6 of us at the table were having trouble hearing all but those seated adjacent or directly across. No one commented on our age-associated hearing loss, but we all noted the difficulty hearing!!

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