"As I accumulated years—meeting people, having experiences, being in life—I built on the essential Me, became more skilled as I tried new things, and stronger each time life knocked me down."
Really enjoyed this. At 89, it's hard to take seriously those who write about aging at 60 but I could identify with alot of things that Melinda said. The decade of 80 is a HUGE shift and asks for adjustments I never had to think about at 60 or 70, but I'm still here for however long.
Peggy, thanks for weighing in. You’d definitely identify with my old ladies. As I said to Marge (who lived to 104 1/4), “I hang around with you because you make me feel young!” She loved it! In my 60s it was easy to find someone 20, even 30 years older. Now you’d qualify to be o e if my old ladies, ahead of me on the path. And that’s a compliment!
I love this article. I just turned 60 last Sunday, and it was a non event. I didn't even get time to go into Houston and get a cake or a bundtlet. I'm a full-time caregiver for my 81 year old stroke survivor husband, and I work part-time at an indie bookstore four days a week. I'm busy all the time. I know 60 is a milestone, and I felt this birthday should be celebrated. But I was having a fence bolstered after two storms in Texas and that took two days. My microwave crapped out, so I had to have the same guy who fixed the fence replace the microwave. There is always something going on. I don't even have the energy or brainpower anymore to write on my substack. I can't think of anything to write, and I know people don't want to read about my life as a caregiver to a stroke survivor. It's like all my creativity has gone out the window.
I'm always envious of people who find the time to write, paint, make art, whatever. I look back on my life and wonder where the years have gone. They are going faster now as I age. I take one day at a time and don't look into the future anymore. I concentrate on getting out of bed every day and putting one foot in front of the other.
I like what Melinda wrote. I will consider purchasing her book. I'd love to have a tribe of women to be with and connect with. That is missing in my life, and I'm not sure how to find my tribe. I'm not religious. I'm not a believer in a god, so I don't go to church. In our small town, church and sports are what bring people together. This planet can be a lonely place.
Thanks for this glimpse into your life, Kris. I know what you mean about having a hard time finding your tribe, especially if you're not into religion. Wishing you an easier time with the caretaking and everything else. And hope you find some more likeminded women and others to spend time with. <3
After we passed 65, my friends are all busier than ever! So we’ve segued to Birth Month celebrations and don’t sweat the actual day itself. This year I had a Milestone Birthday and it was a productive day, with a pleasant evening stop at a goat farm but nothing extraordinary. I like to think about streeeetching out the mirth into bite size bits instead of cramming it all in like we did in our wild 20s anyway.
Here’s to you
And here’s to me
And all the days
We’ve yet to see.
If I can actually get a solid nights’ sleep, damn that feels like a birthday now!
I know what you mean about sleep. Ron gets me up twice a night without fail. I don't remember what it's like to sleep uninterrupted. The cat always wants out in the middle of the night, too.
One of the legends about Benjamin Franklin is that he was able to fall asleep-and even for a predetermined time- anytime. WOW! He had a very rigorous self-improvement mission from a young age, so I want to believe it! Seems like a Jedi -level skill to me.
There are non invasive catheters for men & women now. Maybe you already know all about them? They are reducing drowsy fall risks.
Cat door?
I’m a viscous harridan about getting woken up: not partner material, I’m afraid…
Thanks for responding Kris. Two things: people DO care about caretaking if you share creative ways to copy. Also, the “tribe” builds one person at a time. At the end of the book I give suggestions, but it boils down to curiosity and openness. Start conversations wherever you are and see where they go. Most end there but that “hit” of connection emboldens you to keep trying!
Sari, thank you for publishing and producing these interviews. They illustrate an important fact about aging. We are all different, bringing our personalities and our pasts into each year we live!
Love this with my whole heart and soul. And if Melinda is ever looking to expand her circle to include "younger 'older' ladies", I'm in. 💜 Here's to growing and staying vibrant for as long as we can. (Even when/if that means adding a lovely, carved cane to the accessory line-up.)
I'm going to shoot for writing a book by the time I'm 80! That's a great idea. No one will read it but I will have completed the book I have worked on for 72 years! There will be a lot of different chapters. Some heartaches that never were calmed, some wonderful memories of far away, untouched islands in time.
Timing is great for this article, Sari. Delighted to discover Melinda Blau and her writing. You know all the cool kids. Yes, I ordered the new book for my sister, 80, with a birthday coming up this month. I'm counting on it being well written because she's a journalist and author and I'm counting on it being humorous, because you just can't make up funny more than observing people.
Georgia, thanks and after your sister reads the book, you should, too. We need to be less afraid of aging? Believe me, I have days on the ledge, but being surrounded by brave, strong elders helps!
Georgia, thank you! I think the timing is great because we’re finally seeing a sea change in attitudes toward “old.” And by the way, the time to choose how you want to be old is long before you get there. I hope your sister is still engaged and w cited about life!
"I can't see around corners" - gosh, that line was exactly what I needed to hear as I navigate a tough season. We just never know what's around the corner (or when the corner will turn) but I always choose to believe that it will be something better than I can ever imagine.
PS: I also loved "Not bad for 68!". It reminds me of something I read in a book I just finished: "This is the new hotness!" - meaning, whatever we look like now is our new version of "hot" and, a month out from turning 40, I am taking this into my brand new decade with me! My next corner...
Really enjoyed this. For three years I visited my mom in a nursing home. I stayed three weeks and came home three weeks. And then repeated it. First, my mom and I got to truly know each other, and I was able to get past hurts. One thing I really enjoyed was talking to the older women while my mom was napping. Such stories and such wisdom I learned from them. It gave me a new perspective. My new gig was going to be to find a nursing home to volunteer. Unfortunately, COVID came.
I know I’m going to enjoy your book. I finally cut my hair and everybody tells me I have a great neck. Good genes. Thank you Melinda and Sari.
"It was as if aliens had come down while I slept, attaching a different torso to my head. The face was okay but that body!" Oh Lord, I almost fell off my chair laughing. Love this interview.
Really enjoyed this. At 89, it's hard to take seriously those who write about aging at 60 but I could identify with alot of things that Melinda said. The decade of 80 is a HUGE shift and asks for adjustments I never had to think about at 60 or 70, but I'm still here for however long.
Peggy, thanks for weighing in. You’d definitely identify with my old ladies. As I said to Marge (who lived to 104 1/4), “I hang around with you because you make me feel young!” She loved it! In my 60s it was easy to find someone 20, even 30 years older. Now you’d qualify to be o e if my old ladies, ahead of me on the path. And that’s a compliment!
Peggy, we are fellow travelers!
I love this article. I just turned 60 last Sunday, and it was a non event. I didn't even get time to go into Houston and get a cake or a bundtlet. I'm a full-time caregiver for my 81 year old stroke survivor husband, and I work part-time at an indie bookstore four days a week. I'm busy all the time. I know 60 is a milestone, and I felt this birthday should be celebrated. But I was having a fence bolstered after two storms in Texas and that took two days. My microwave crapped out, so I had to have the same guy who fixed the fence replace the microwave. There is always something going on. I don't even have the energy or brainpower anymore to write on my substack. I can't think of anything to write, and I know people don't want to read about my life as a caregiver to a stroke survivor. It's like all my creativity has gone out the window.
I'm always envious of people who find the time to write, paint, make art, whatever. I look back on my life and wonder where the years have gone. They are going faster now as I age. I take one day at a time and don't look into the future anymore. I concentrate on getting out of bed every day and putting one foot in front of the other.
I like what Melinda wrote. I will consider purchasing her book. I'd love to have a tribe of women to be with and connect with. That is missing in my life, and I'm not sure how to find my tribe. I'm not religious. I'm not a believer in a god, so I don't go to church. In our small town, church and sports are what bring people together. This planet can be a lonely place.
Thanks for this glimpse into your life, Kris. I know what you mean about having a hard time finding your tribe, especially if you're not into religion. Wishing you an easier time with the caretaking and everything else. And hope you find some more likeminded women and others to spend time with. <3
After we passed 65, my friends are all busier than ever! So we’ve segued to Birth Month celebrations and don’t sweat the actual day itself. This year I had a Milestone Birthday and it was a productive day, with a pleasant evening stop at a goat farm but nothing extraordinary. I like to think about streeeetching out the mirth into bite size bits instead of cramming it all in like we did in our wild 20s anyway.
Here’s to you
And here’s to me
And all the days
We’ve yet to see.
If I can actually get a solid nights’ sleep, damn that feels like a birthday now!
I know what you mean about sleep. Ron gets me up twice a night without fail. I don't remember what it's like to sleep uninterrupted. The cat always wants out in the middle of the night, too.
One of the legends about Benjamin Franklin is that he was able to fall asleep-and even for a predetermined time- anytime. WOW! He had a very rigorous self-improvement mission from a young age, so I want to believe it! Seems like a Jedi -level skill to me.
There are non invasive catheters for men & women now. Maybe you already know all about them? They are reducing drowsy fall risks.
Cat door?
I’m a viscous harridan about getting woken up: not partner material, I’m afraid…
Envy your bookstore job.
Thanks for responding Kris. Two things: people DO care about caretaking if you share creative ways to copy. Also, the “tribe” builds one person at a time. At the end of the book I give suggestions, but it boils down to curiosity and openness. Start conversations wherever you are and see where they go. Most end there but that “hit” of connection emboldens you to keep trying!
yes - it can be lonely - yet you are here with us - virtually - so not really alone
Sari, thank you for publishing and producing these interviews. They illustrate an important fact about aging. We are all different, bringing our personalities and our pasts into each year we live!
Thank YOU, Melinda, for your wonderful responses!
My pleasure and so wonderful to read these responses
I'm gonna start trying that "not bad for 68" line! Thanks!
😂
Douglas, it works!
Love this with my whole heart and soul. And if Melinda is ever looking to expand her circle to include "younger 'older' ladies", I'm in. 💜 Here's to growing and staying vibrant for as long as we can. (Even when/if that means adding a lovely, carved cane to the accessory line-up.)
Diana, welcome!
It is so gratifying to read these comments and to know how many others are eager to engrave age for the fort that it is!
I'm going to shoot for writing a book by the time I'm 80! That's a great idea. No one will read it but I will have completed the book I have worked on for 72 years! There will be a lot of different chapters. Some heartaches that never were calmed, some wonderful memories of far away, untouched islands in time.
<3
Timing is great for this article, Sari. Delighted to discover Melinda Blau and her writing. You know all the cool kids. Yes, I ordered the new book for my sister, 80, with a birthday coming up this month. I'm counting on it being well written because she's a journalist and author and I'm counting on it being humorous, because you just can't make up funny more than observing people.
<3
Georgia, thanks and after your sister reads the book, you should, too. We need to be less afraid of aging? Believe me, I have days on the ledge, but being surrounded by brave, strong elders helps!
Georgia, thank you! I think the timing is great because we’re finally seeing a sea change in attitudes toward “old.” And by the way, the time to choose how you want to be old is long before you get there. I hope your sister is still engaged and w cited about life!
I have my copy of Wisdom Whisperers proudly displayed — it's a wonderful, life-affirming read, and I'm claiming Melinda Blau as one of MY old ladies!
Happy to serve, Jan
An inspiring life, a great brain and attitude are everything!
Thank you for these interviews, Sari. Each and every one has something to offer the reader no matter how many candles on our birthday cake.
Glad to know you enjoy these, Paulette!
"I can't see around corners" - gosh, that line was exactly what I needed to hear as I navigate a tough season. We just never know what's around the corner (or when the corner will turn) but I always choose to believe that it will be something better than I can ever imagine.
PS: I also loved "Not bad for 68!". It reminds me of something I read in a book I just finished: "This is the new hotness!" - meaning, whatever we look like now is our new version of "hot" and, a month out from turning 40, I am taking this into my brand new decade with me! My next corner...
Sonia, thanks. I love it when readers pull out what’s special to them!
Really enjoyed this. For three years I visited my mom in a nursing home. I stayed three weeks and came home three weeks. And then repeated it. First, my mom and I got to truly know each other, and I was able to get past hurts. One thing I really enjoyed was talking to the older women while my mom was napping. Such stories and such wisdom I learned from them. It gave me a new perspective. My new gig was going to be to find a nursing home to volunteer. Unfortunately, COVID came.
I know I’m going to enjoy your book. I finally cut my hair and everybody tells me I have a great neck. Good genes. Thank you Melinda and Sari.
Please let me know how you like it, Monica.
"It was as if aliens had come down while I slept, attaching a different torso to my head. The face was okay but that body!" Oh Lord, I almost fell off my chair laughing. Love this interview.
Deeps, thanks. If we don’t keep a sense of humor…
Typo: Deepa
🩶🩶🩶
If we're doing it right, we become the old ladies we collect. And they show us how it's done, so we can walk comfortably with that cane.
Amen.
I loved this. I love all of these!
So glad!
Thanks!