There is so much I love about this. I didn't discover Lyn until after she'd moved out of the Icon era, and I am loving her wisdom post-being an influencer. There's a sense for me that all this extra dross has been burned off and what is left is true and elegant.
"When I face a challenge, I have a huge toolbox accumulated over the years filled with experiences, skills and creativity that I can apply. In my 20’s I pretty much had a hammer and a nail." YES. I feel this in my bones. How limited and blunt an instrument I was, and how much I love the nuance and possibility of the current iteration of myself.
"I am someone who always sees themselves becoming. What I love about that now is that it happens simply for its own sake; I’ve given up what I call “the striving.” Now it’s just evolving for the joy of the discovery not for any outcome." And yes, again. What joy it is to be in the river just going along, enjoying what comes. I feel like I'm just starting to touch on that feeling, and I'm eagerly anticipating spending more and more time there.
When I turned 65, I started a project called “Accidental Mentors” (https://www.annettemarquis.com/s/accidental-mentors) where I wrote about 65 women who shaped my life, so I feel a kinship with Lyn’s concept of being an “Accidental Icon.” Sometimes just being yourself changes people around you. Thanks, Lyn, for finding your way into old age with grace and helping the rest of us find our way.
I love this! I am 74 and her comment: "I experience my internal age as very fluid, containing all the ages I have ever been. An age can be triggered by a song, a garment, an old friend." is spot-on. There are moments when I tap into my youth and feel exactly how I felt in my 20's, for instance. Often triggered by music.
I'm finding it wonderful to grow older and she is so right about having more tools with which to tackle whatever challenges arise. I will definitely be reading her book.
I love the reflection that at 70 (where I am), we have a whole toolbox of skills with which to meet whatever life gifts us or throws at us, vastly more than we did at 20. And kudos to Lyn Slater for embracing the term "old!" Gotta get her book.
What an inspiring and affirming thing to read with my coffee - I am recording some of these profoundly sensible quotes in my book of things to read on Dark Days. (Or, at 3 a.m. more often than not ...) I totally and completely relate to the end of "striving." In my salad days, I used to perceive this as a woman who had let herself go, was happy to have given up " trying" (whatever that means) and feel faintly disgusted. Now, I understand. Ordering Lyn's book ... thanks again Sari xo
That phrase “letting herself go” is so fraught for me.
It’s seesaw up and down. Positive/Negative. (Let’s GO! has been a personal motto for decades of adventure)
Finding that balance between not wanting to give a F if I come across as sexy, functional, contemporary and cared for (just to be seen and get decent service when out) and the reality of diminishing energy, focus, resources, or reasons to get up and take a full on shower every day.
If we look extremely poor, unwell, or the worst: needing help, we will be treated like dangerous pariahs pretty much everywhere we go (IF even noticed).
I try to look at least like I’ve made an effort, but not enough jewelry to start attracting the bold parasites.
SO much more peaceful and productive to just stay home as much as possible!
I had to put a full mirror in the hall, because I went out with a sweater on inside out! Great color…
I’ve gotten incredibly good at “compartmentalizing” when looking in the face mirror: just see the little bit getting groomed. There’s tape on the selfie camera on the phone too. Nobody wants to see that.
I all started when a friend photographed me. And… I had no idea about that gut! Can’t see it so much looking down. Ooops.
I have to figure out a ‘uniform’ that conveys what I am trying to say. And trust me, this has been a subject of research lifelong. There are so many codes built into apparel, over millennia too.
If I look like “quiet luxury” it’s only because those natural fibers are durable, comfortable and simple. The other stuff just pills, decays (plastic soled shoes), stretches out or stains.
What’s your go to soft armor for facing the world? I do love the Wilde quote in your title too.
A bit of eyeliner and blush are non-negotiable for me - no wish to feel like Nosferatu at the grocery store lol! Always in Blundstones or Mephisto shoes of late too. Cheers so much for recognising the Wilde quote too!!!
I've been following Lynn for about 6 years on Instagram and she's always inspiring. I think it's important to have role models who are older than oneself (as well as younger - one of the reasons I love this Substack). Thanks for this Q&A.
Love this. I’m 65, totally relate to what Lynn says.
I especially love her response to the age that she feels she is - the layering of all the ages - brilliant! I had never thought about it like that, but it’s a perfect representation 👌🏼.
Given that aging is inevitable, what's joyous, somber, delightful and real way to embrace time marching on. I am so tired of adds telling us "older" we can look younger, get rid of crepy skin, look years younger!!! I every wrinkle, every ache, every brown spot- connect the dots for the roadmap of my life. Thank you Lynn!
I ❤️❤️❤️ Lyn Slater and have been following her for years. Love this piece, Lyn I have never met you other than on Instagram, but I feel we are sisters on that journey. Thanks for showing the way!
Loved this article. I was unfamiliar with Lynn Slater, but just went on-line to Changing Hands Bookstore and ordered a copy of How To Be Old. Can’t wait to read.
Great responses. I was exercising and listening to WNYC-FM and I'm pretty sure I heard that Lyn will be on at noon today. Hopefully I've got that right, but someone can correct me if I'm not.
Lovely to find a sister in this Older-dom but sorry I'm so late to her dance (it's been a trauma-filled decade). There's so much wisdom here - "the process of aging involves different layers of acceptance." Truth that! At a new 67, I found Lyn's ideas mirroring my feelings about my own aging. I would add I now call myself Older, not Old. It changes the dynamic, both the giving and the receiving.
There is so much I love about this. I didn't discover Lyn until after she'd moved out of the Icon era, and I am loving her wisdom post-being an influencer. There's a sense for me that all this extra dross has been burned off and what is left is true and elegant.
"When I face a challenge, I have a huge toolbox accumulated over the years filled with experiences, skills and creativity that I can apply. In my 20’s I pretty much had a hammer and a nail." YES. I feel this in my bones. How limited and blunt an instrument I was, and how much I love the nuance and possibility of the current iteration of myself.
"I am someone who always sees themselves becoming. What I love about that now is that it happens simply for its own sake; I’ve given up what I call “the striving.” Now it’s just evolving for the joy of the discovery not for any outcome." And yes, again. What joy it is to be in the river just going along, enjoying what comes. I feel like I'm just starting to touch on that feeling, and I'm eagerly anticipating spending more and more time there.
Love your "all this extra dross has been burned off and what is left is true & elegant" - YES!
When I turned 65, I started a project called “Accidental Mentors” (https://www.annettemarquis.com/s/accidental-mentors) where I wrote about 65 women who shaped my life, so I feel a kinship with Lyn’s concept of being an “Accidental Icon.” Sometimes just being yourself changes people around you. Thanks, Lyn, for finding your way into old age with grace and helping the rest of us find our way.
I love this! I am 74 and her comment: "I experience my internal age as very fluid, containing all the ages I have ever been. An age can be triggered by a song, a garment, an old friend." is spot-on. There are moments when I tap into my youth and feel exactly how I felt in my 20's, for instance. Often triggered by music.
I'm finding it wonderful to grow older and she is so right about having more tools with which to tackle whatever challenges arise. I will definitely be reading her book.
I love the reflection that at 70 (where I am), we have a whole toolbox of skills with which to meet whatever life gifts us or throws at us, vastly more than we did at 20. And kudos to Lyn Slater for embracing the term "old!" Gotta get her book.
What an inspiring and affirming thing to read with my coffee - I am recording some of these profoundly sensible quotes in my book of things to read on Dark Days. (Or, at 3 a.m. more often than not ...) I totally and completely relate to the end of "striving." In my salad days, I used to perceive this as a woman who had let herself go, was happy to have given up " trying" (whatever that means) and feel faintly disgusted. Now, I understand. Ordering Lyn's book ... thanks again Sari xo
That phrase “letting herself go” is so fraught for me.
It’s seesaw up and down. Positive/Negative. (Let’s GO! has been a personal motto for decades of adventure)
Finding that balance between not wanting to give a F if I come across as sexy, functional, contemporary and cared for (just to be seen and get decent service when out) and the reality of diminishing energy, focus, resources, or reasons to get up and take a full on shower every day.
If we look extremely poor, unwell, or the worst: needing help, we will be treated like dangerous pariahs pretty much everywhere we go (IF even noticed).
I try to look at least like I’ve made an effort, but not enough jewelry to start attracting the bold parasites.
SO much more peaceful and productive to just stay home as much as possible!
Well said!
I had to put a full mirror in the hall, because I went out with a sweater on inside out! Great color…
I’ve gotten incredibly good at “compartmentalizing” when looking in the face mirror: just see the little bit getting groomed. There’s tape on the selfie camera on the phone too. Nobody wants to see that.
I all started when a friend photographed me. And… I had no idea about that gut! Can’t see it so much looking down. Ooops.
I have to figure out a ‘uniform’ that conveys what I am trying to say. And trust me, this has been a subject of research lifelong. There are so many codes built into apparel, over millennia too.
If I look like “quiet luxury” it’s only because those natural fibers are durable, comfortable and simple. The other stuff just pills, decays (plastic soled shoes), stretches out or stains.
What’s your go to soft armor for facing the world? I do love the Wilde quote in your title too.
A bit of eyeliner and blush are non-negotiable for me - no wish to feel like Nosferatu at the grocery store lol! Always in Blundstones or Mephisto shoes of late too. Cheers so much for recognising the Wilde quote too!!!
Nosferatu??? Brrrrrr
Dang
Not there yet. Is that coming?
<3
I've been following Lynn for about 6 years on Instagram and she's always inspiring. I think it's important to have role models who are older than oneself (as well as younger - one of the reasons I love this Substack). Thanks for this Q&A.
Glad you like it! And Oldster.
Great Q&A. My favorite response: "I am someone who always sees themselves becoming." May that be the case for all of us.
Love this. I’m 65, totally relate to what Lynn says.
I especially love her response to the age that she feels she is - the layering of all the ages - brilliant! I had never thought about it like that, but it’s a perfect representation 👌🏼.
Given that aging is inevitable, what's joyous, somber, delightful and real way to embrace time marching on. I am so tired of adds telling us "older" we can look younger, get rid of crepy skin, look years younger!!! I every wrinkle, every ache, every brown spot- connect the dots for the roadmap of my life. Thank you Lynn!
I ❤️❤️❤️ Lyn Slater and have been following her for years. Love this piece, Lyn I have never met you other than on Instagram, but I feel we are sisters on that journey. Thanks for showing the way!
“It’s [aging] taken away a functioning metabolism.” It sure has!!! Enjoyed this so much!
Loved this so much, Sari.
So glad!
Loved this article. I was unfamiliar with Lynn Slater, but just went on-line to Changing Hands Bookstore and ordered a copy of How To Be Old. Can’t wait to read.
Great responses. I was exercising and listening to WNYC-FM and I'm pretty sure I heard that Lyn will be on at noon today. Hopefully I've got that right, but someone can correct me if I'm not.
Lovely to find a sister in this Older-dom but sorry I'm so late to her dance (it's been a trauma-filled decade). There's so much wisdom here - "the process of aging involves different layers of acceptance." Truth that! At a new 67, I found Lyn's ideas mirroring my feelings about my own aging. I would add I now call myself Older, not Old. It changes the dynamic, both the giving and the receiving.
Love this!