"I missed publishing a novel by 39, a number I anxiously settled on when I got out of grad school at 37. I must have been thinking of '10 Under 40' lists that overlook writers who come to it later."
I can totally picture this place. It has a cabaret-style room for performance with wine and snacks, a room for dancing (different theme DJ every night — I'll be there dancing my ass off on Goth Night, '80s night, Beatles singalong night...), and a kind of snuggly library room with books and vintage lamps and old trashed sofas (like a Portland coffeehouse from 30-40 years ago). Coffee, drinks, food, dancing, music. Beatnik poetry nights. I realize I've been fantasizing about owning or booking a place like this since my teens! But back then I didn't know middle aged and up folks are the ones who really need it. We'll play a few bars of Elliott Smith's "Last Call" at 9:50 pm every night...
I propose winter happy hours from 4 pm to 6 pm. It’s already getting dusky at 3:30 pm right now. I could claim to have a late afternoon “meeting” and swing by. I’d also happily be in charge of the zero alcohol menu. There are so many cool AF drinks now that we could feature a different kind each week. With snacks.
‘I’ve always thought that we are all simultaneously every age we’ve ever been, and that we can move into the consciousness of being that age whenever we summon it.’ What a wonderful concept. Wow.
Yes, this is so astute. If one wants to experience that, just be required to go through a lifetime of photos from forced downsizing. It’s like a spinning hall of wavy mirrors. The only antidote is acceptance of all of it.
I love everything about this, but most especially the not attracting or perpetrating unnecessary drama anymore as a perk of getting older. I neither understood that was what I was doing when I was younger, nor how to turn off those instincts. The only thing that ever worked was a lot of therapy and years (and years) of practice, but thank goodness.
Thank you, Asha! “A lot of therapy and years (and years) of practice” - amen to that. I remember confusing drama with “vitality” and “excitement” - no more!
I'm the same age as Leanna (well, at least for two more days) and can identify with so much of this. The quiet confidence born of experience, etc. And especially "The sack of shoulds I used to drag around with me is so much lighter now." Wonderful!
I know! That comment jolted me out of my habitual self-criticism when I looked at recent photos of myself (or in the mirror). I’ll remain grateful to that person forever.
felt so much of this, mirrored in my own life. thank you for sharing your beautiful and wise heart with us here. this line in particular was striking and potent to me: "negotiating a cascading series of crises with my parents and siblings…in short, life." thank you!
I am so happy to hear that I am not the only one whose hair did not grow into a beautiful head of silver! I am about to start adding some highlights to my sad mouse brown again
I think we should join resources and open that disco, because i have often wished there really were clubs like that! Especially one that played great music...but then define great music, right? I’m close to you in age (I just turned 62) so chances are we might have similar taste, especially from the 70s and 80s... How fun would that be?! What would we call it?
By the way, over the weekend, I had to read and listen to a lot of material about AI. I decided to pretend I was Sari Botton and got these "answers" out of ChatGPT:
User
How old are you?
ChatGPT
I don't have an age because I am a computer program, specifically OpenAI's GPT-3.5 model. I don't possess personal experiences or a physical form. I'm here to provide information and assist you to the best of my abilities. How can I help you today?
User
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?
ChatGPT
No, I don't have a concept of age or a self-awareness that would lead me to associate with a particular age. I don't have personal experiences, feelings, or consciousness. I am a tool designed to process and generate human-like text based on the input I receive. If you have any questions or if there's something specific you'd like information on, feel free to ask!
User
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
ChatGPT
I don't have feelings, a sense of age, or peers in the way humans do. I don't experience the passage of time, personal growth, or changes in perspective. I'm a machine learning model created by OpenAI, and my responses are based on patterns learned from diverse data sources up until my last training cut-off in January 2022. If you have any specific questions or topics you'd like information on, feel free to ask!
User
What do you like about being your age?
ChatGPT
As a machine learning model, I don't have personal experiences, preferences, or an age. I am a tool designed to assist and provide information. If there's a specific topic or question you'd like help with, please let me know, and I'll do my best to assist you!
Please keep this questionnaire for humans only! AI is boring!
Loved this very mucho........I love how from all these interviews things resonate, and getting older is so so okay and good. I too believe we can be many ages in our internal spaces at times..........no matter how healed we are. Thank you Leanna.
Beautiful! And I am so there for the underground nightclub that closes at 10.
Me, too.
I can totally picture this place. It has a cabaret-style room for performance with wine and snacks, a room for dancing (different theme DJ every night — I'll be there dancing my ass off on Goth Night, '80s night, Beatles singalong night...), and a kind of snuggly library room with books and vintage lamps and old trashed sofas (like a Portland coffeehouse from 30-40 years ago). Coffee, drinks, food, dancing, music. Beatnik poetry nights. I realize I've been fantasizing about owning or booking a place like this since my teens! But back then I didn't know middle aged and up folks are the ones who really need it. We'll play a few bars of Elliott Smith's "Last Call" at 9:50 pm every night...
Same but I’d like some really comfy chairs so I can grab a nap if I need to
Great idea! Let’s add comfy chairs and sofas to the list ;-)
What a great attitude. Very authentic. If I might, could we adjust the underground club hours maybe from 6:30-9:30. I feel 10pm might be a stretch 😬
I propose winter happy hours from 4 pm to 6 pm. It’s already getting dusky at 3:30 pm right now. I could claim to have a late afternoon “meeting” and swing by. I’d also happily be in charge of the zero alcohol menu. There are so many cool AF drinks now that we could feature a different kind each week. With snacks.
Loving your sense of humor here Micheline.
No problem! (This made me laugh.)
‘I’ve always thought that we are all simultaneously every age we’ve ever been, and that we can move into the consciousness of being that age whenever we summon it.’ What a wonderful concept. Wow.
Yes, this is so astute. If one wants to experience that, just be required to go through a lifetime of photos from forced downsizing. It’s like a spinning hall of wavy mirrors. The only antidote is acceptance of all of it.
God, yes. The “acceptance of all of it.” Still working on that!
Thank you!
I love everything about this, but most especially the not attracting or perpetrating unnecessary drama anymore as a perk of getting older. I neither understood that was what I was doing when I was younger, nor how to turn off those instincts. The only thing that ever worked was a lot of therapy and years (and years) of practice, but thank goodness.
You are marvelous, Leanna. Thanks for this.
Thank you, Asha! “A lot of therapy and years (and years) of practice” - amen to that. I remember confusing drama with “vitality” and “excitement” - no more!
I'm the same age as Leanna (well, at least for two more days) and can identify with so much of this. The quiet confidence born of experience, etc. And especially "The sack of shoulds I used to drag around with me is so much lighter now." Wonderful!
Happy Birthday
Jeanne!
Take one of those “shoulds” and light it on fire for a candle. Wooohoo!
Ha ... love that idea! Thank you, Ali.
Thank you, Jeanne!
This is lovely!
"You look intelligent and kind." Could there be a better compliment? I can't think of one.
I know! That comment jolted me out of my habitual self-criticism when I looked at recent photos of myself (or in the mirror). I’ll remain grateful to that person forever.
felt so much of this, mirrored in my own life. thank you for sharing your beautiful and wise heart with us here. this line in particular was striking and potent to me: "negotiating a cascading series of crises with my parents and siblings…in short, life." thank you!
Thank you, Mary Lynn!
I too believe in the magic of red lipstick (and real sourdough bread from the Bay Area!). Really great interview and I enjoyed the insights.
Ah…a crusty loaf from Tartine! My heart dances just thinking about it ;-)
What a lovely lady. Inspiring and intelligent. Thank you for introducing Leanna to us.
I am so happy to hear that I am not the only one whose hair did not grow into a beautiful head of silver! I am about to start adding some highlights to my sad mouse brown again
Hello to a sister in the sad mouse brown club! ;-)
Always interesting and motivating no matter what the person’s age is. Thank you
🙏
Thought provoking questions. As I read Leanne’s responses I couldn’t help thinking of my own. Really enjoyed this dive into 66. Thank you.
I think we should join resources and open that disco, because i have often wished there really were clubs like that! Especially one that played great music...but then define great music, right? I’m close to you in age (I just turned 62) so chances are we might have similar taste, especially from the 70s and 80s... How fun would that be?! What would we call it?
An excellent question! What WOULD we call it? (Oldster Dance Club and Speakeasy?)
Love this idea!
Let me have a think!!!
Anyone who rereads Mrs. Dalloway every year is a nearly perfect human being, in my opinion.
By the way, over the weekend, I had to read and listen to a lot of material about AI. I decided to pretend I was Sari Botton and got these "answers" out of ChatGPT:
User
How old are you?
ChatGPT
I don't have an age because I am a computer program, specifically OpenAI's GPT-3.5 model. I don't possess personal experiences or a physical form. I'm here to provide information and assist you to the best of my abilities. How can I help you today?
User
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?
ChatGPT
No, I don't have a concept of age or a self-awareness that would lead me to associate with a particular age. I don't have personal experiences, feelings, or consciousness. I am a tool designed to process and generate human-like text based on the input I receive. If you have any questions or if there's something specific you'd like information on, feel free to ask!
User
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
ChatGPT
I don't have feelings, a sense of age, or peers in the way humans do. I don't experience the passage of time, personal growth, or changes in perspective. I'm a machine learning model created by OpenAI, and my responses are based on patterns learned from diverse data sources up until my last training cut-off in January 2022. If you have any specific questions or topics you'd like information on, feel free to ask!
User
What do you like about being your age?
ChatGPT
As a machine learning model, I don't have personal experiences, preferences, or an age. I am a tool designed to assist and provide information. If there's a specific topic or question you'd like help with, please let me know, and I'll do my best to assist you!
Please keep this questionnaire for humans only! AI is boring!
Oh, my good. This is hilarious. And I promise never to give the questionnaire to robots!!! Oldster is a bot-free zone. 🚫 🤖
What’s truly scary is that I have met actual people quite like this ChatGPT! No feelings or awareness.
Thank you RG for sharing your experiment!
Hilarious!
Far from it, Richard…but what a lovely thought!
Loved this very mucho........I love how from all these interviews things resonate, and getting older is so so okay and good. I too believe we can be many ages in our internal spaces at times..........no matter how healed we are. Thank you Leanna.
Thank you!
What a wonderful line to remember as we all age: "The sack of shoulds I used to drag around with me is much lighter now."