"I have scars from my Covid-era surgeries and will soon have another scar from my breast cancer surgery. In some ways, I view them the way some people view wrinkles, as evidence that I have lived."
When Alison notes that "ageism in the workplace is real" it got me thinking about the ways I, as a 20 something, have experienced uncomfortable ageist interactions (going both ways). And how we never communicated our discomfort
Thanks, Kiana, for letting me know you get this, even as a young person. I mean for Oldster to spark and foster meaningful intergenerational conversations, and this is part of that.
I think multigenerational workplaces are the most fruitful. It was weird for me to go from being the youngest person to the oldest person at work but I loved gaining perspective from my peers at every age. The 20-somethings were my favorite.
After working an hour or two with a banker once who answered one of my questions with, “I don’t know; I’m 20” (and am thus not yet affected), I realized that just knowing his age changed my perception of him. As if in comparison to me.
So I then and there decided to never ask people their ages and other questions that allow me to put people into boxes. Not even little kids.
I’ve learned that this gives me more opportunities to get to know people rather than thinking I know people because I know superficial details.
I love Alison's observation that "Feeling discounted has given me the incentive to find the doors I want to open and confidently walk through them." It was fascinating to observe the interactions between journalists ranging in age from their early 20s to their 70s. Now that I'm "retired," on the outside looking in, I get to write about it!
Virgo energy for sure! Sending love and light to you, and I want to know more about Sally. Maybe you can write her story (and get an endorsement deal from Quaker perhaps?)
>>I feel a seismic shift now that I’m over 60. Ageism in the workplace is real. Wearing out of body parts is real. The passage of time is bittersweet. The loss of loved ones is devastating.
I loved (and confirm!) every single word of this. I look forward to following your journey via your Substack.
Thank you for sharing. I love your philosophies! Im close in age to you and have some similar experiences, so a lot of what you shared resonates with me. I wish for you strength and healing power through your treatment journey.
I'm 56, and I'm already there with you on most of this. After all the time at home on Zoom with Covid, I gave up high heels and uncomfortable shoes. I've started dressing to please myself. I've quit wearing makeup because I've never liked it or been any good at it. I had a stroke scare last fall, and I've realized that I won't live forever so it's time to stop slogging and start living. I feel really connected to the wild 20-something I used to be, and I'm considering the tattoo I never had the guts to get and re-piercing the extra piercings in my ears that I let close because I was an "adult." And while I'm still working, I'm self-employed so my boss really doesn't care what I do as long as I can make an income. I feel freed to live for me.
I suspect that there’s a core in each individual that is revealed or hidden at all ages. We see it in kids when we call them ‘old souls’ and in Oldsters when the hell-raising is no longer only dormant.
I highly recommend Alison's Substack called, "A Slice of Midlife", where she speaks in her signature bracing, funny and humble voice, and also shares the mouth-watering things she cooks each week (you can also read her fantastic Womancake Magazine essay about what food has meant in her life https://www.womancake.com/p/if-loving-food-is-wrong-i-dont-wanna).
Wow, you could be my cosmic twin, right down to the thin, blonde hair gone mousey. I’ve had so much job rejection in the last five years I’m beginning to think that work is not for me. So the door to my 13 year old self is wide open and I am trying to creatively adapt to that...and maybe make some $ on the side. I wish you all the best for your treatment and good health beyond!
Thank you for this. It’s interesting growing older but still feeling some of the same “feels” you did at 27. I agree, ageism is real but so are the joys of self knowledge and a true acceptance of who you are. Sending positive energy to you throughout your treatment & many good hair days ahead.
“I don’t have the extreme emotions I had when I was young or when I was going through perimenopause. “ I truly enjoyed the whole post, but this sentence comforted me deeply. As a 43 yr old in the midst of perimenopause, thanks for normalizing the emotional swings and sharing this Pearl of wisdom. Good vibes to you Alison!
When I was beginning peri menopause (which no one talked about 20 years ago), there was a viral video of a mom losing it because she couldn’t find her keys. That encapsulated the rage I sometimes felt and didn’t fully understand.
Thank you for this post. I have witnessed a number of friends go through cancer treatment. I've knitted cashmere caps for a few friends who lost their hair. Cashmere will keep your head warm and won't itch and you will look beautiful. Sending all best wishes for full recovery.
I like your realization that good looks depend on genetics, ease of life, and disposable income. And you could collapse the last 2! And maybe add “good habits.”
I shout the same message about the oatmeal! I feel this about the ageism at 56... and feeling more myself than I've ever been, it's hard. Sending you love and light Alison!
This is so good I can relate to so much of this. I’m putting out feelers for relocating to Switzerland. My child is only 13 1/2 so it’s really only a dream right now but maybe in five years it could become a reality. Sending positive vibes and healthy, good thoughts to you as you go through treatment
This was a delightful read! The world needs more aunties to comfort, inspire, and bring joy. I hope you receive the same in return as you navigate your current challenges and I have no doubt you will tenfold.
When Alison notes that "ageism in the workplace is real" it got me thinking about the ways I, as a 20 something, have experienced uncomfortable ageist interactions (going both ways). And how we never communicated our discomfort
Thanks, Kiana, for letting me know you get this, even as a young person. I mean for Oldster to spark and foster meaningful intergenerational conversations, and this is part of that.
I think multigenerational workplaces are the most fruitful. It was weird for me to go from being the youngest person to the oldest person at work but I loved gaining perspective from my peers at every age. The 20-somethings were my favorite.
After working an hour or two with a banker once who answered one of my questions with, “I don’t know; I’m 20” (and am thus not yet affected), I realized that just knowing his age changed my perception of him. As if in comparison to me.
So I then and there decided to never ask people their ages and other questions that allow me to put people into boxes. Not even little kids.
I’ve learned that this gives me more opportunities to get to know people rather than thinking I know people because I know superficial details.
I love this perspective and something I want to try on.
I love Alison's observation that "Feeling discounted has given me the incentive to find the doors I want to open and confidently walk through them." It was fascinating to observe the interactions between journalists ranging in age from their early 20s to their 70s. Now that I'm "retired," on the outside looking in, I get to write about it!
Virgo energy for sure! Sending love and light to you, and I want to know more about Sally. Maybe you can write her story (and get an endorsement deal from Quaker perhaps?)
I love that idea! Sally was remarkable. Her story deserves to be told.
I enjoy oatmeal every day! Steel cut oats of late.
>>I feel a seismic shift now that I’m over 60. Ageism in the workplace is real. Wearing out of body parts is real. The passage of time is bittersweet. The loss of loved ones is devastating.
I loved (and confirm!) every single word of this. I look forward to following your journey via your Substack.
Thank you for sharing. I love your philosophies! Im close in age to you and have some similar experiences, so a lot of what you shared resonates with me. I wish for you strength and healing power through your treatment journey.
I can't wait to find out what we're going to call this Third Act! Best of everything with your treatment! (The "Fun Aunt Years?")
I'm 56, and I'm already there with you on most of this. After all the time at home on Zoom with Covid, I gave up high heels and uncomfortable shoes. I've started dressing to please myself. I've quit wearing makeup because I've never liked it or been any good at it. I had a stroke scare last fall, and I've realized that I won't live forever so it's time to stop slogging and start living. I feel really connected to the wild 20-something I used to be, and I'm considering the tattoo I never had the guts to get and re-piercing the extra piercings in my ears that I let close because I was an "adult." And while I'm still working, I'm self-employed so my boss really doesn't care what I do as long as I can make an income. I feel freed to live for me.
I suspect that there’s a core in each individual that is revealed or hidden at all ages. We see it in kids when we call them ‘old souls’ and in Oldsters when the hell-raising is no longer only dormant.
The Circle of Life… has a center.
I highly recommend Alison's Substack called, "A Slice of Midlife", where she speaks in her signature bracing, funny and humble voice, and also shares the mouth-watering things she cooks each week (you can also read her fantastic Womancake Magazine essay about what food has meant in her life https://www.womancake.com/p/if-loving-food-is-wrong-i-dont-wanna).
Wow, you could be my cosmic twin, right down to the thin, blonde hair gone mousey. I’ve had so much job rejection in the last five years I’m beginning to think that work is not for me. So the door to my 13 year old self is wide open and I am trying to creatively adapt to that...and maybe make some $ on the side. I wish you all the best for your treatment and good health beyond!
You go, girl!!!!
Thank you for this. It’s interesting growing older but still feeling some of the same “feels” you did at 27. I agree, ageism is real but so are the joys of self knowledge and a true acceptance of who you are. Sending positive energy to you throughout your treatment & many good hair days ahead.
“I don’t have the extreme emotions I had when I was young or when I was going through perimenopause. “ I truly enjoyed the whole post, but this sentence comforted me deeply. As a 43 yr old in the midst of perimenopause, thanks for normalizing the emotional swings and sharing this Pearl of wisdom. Good vibes to you Alison!
When I was beginning peri menopause (which no one talked about 20 years ago), there was a viral video of a mom losing it because she couldn’t find her keys. That encapsulated the rage I sometimes felt and didn’t fully understand.
Thank you for this post. I have witnessed a number of friends go through cancer treatment. I've knitted cashmere caps for a few friends who lost their hair. Cashmere will keep your head warm and won't itch and you will look beautiful. Sending all best wishes for full recovery.
I like your realization that good looks depend on genetics, ease of life, and disposable income. And you could collapse the last 2! And maybe add “good habits.”
So many good habits require time and knowledge.
I shout the same message about the oatmeal! I feel this about the ageism at 56... and feeling more myself than I've ever been, it's hard. Sending you love and light Alison!
This is so good I can relate to so much of this. I’m putting out feelers for relocating to Switzerland. My child is only 13 1/2 so it’s really only a dream right now but maybe in five years it could become a reality. Sending positive vibes and healthy, good thoughts to you as you go through treatment
This was a delightful read! The world needs more aunties to comfort, inspire, and bring joy. I hope you receive the same in return as you navigate your current challenges and I have no doubt you will tenfold.