This is 62: Alison Krupnick Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"I have scars from my Covid-era surgeries and will soon have another scar from my breast cancer surgery. In some ways, I view them the way some people view wrinkles, as evidence that I have lived."

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Here, writer, traveler, and foodie

Alison Krupnick

responds. -Sari Botton

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Alison Krupnick hiking recently to look at larch trees — “possibly my last hike pre-breast cancer treatment.”

Alison Krupnick

in her own words: Travel-loving foodie, cookbook collector, and writer. I’ve been a diplomat, journalist, editor, and non-profit communications director. The through-lines in my eclectic career have been a desire to contribute to the greater good and a willingness to walk through open doors. That’s kept things interesting. I currently write

Slice of Midlife

on Substack, where I’ve begun writing about going through cancer treatment.

How old are you?  

62 

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?   

I recently heard the singer Alana Haim interviewed on Sam Fragoso’s excellent podcast, Talk Easy. She said that we are all essentially our 7^th grade selves, which horrifies me. But the older I get, as titles and roles are stripped away, I can feel my essence return to the fore and I appreciate that. (I’m not sure I appreciated my essence when I was 12 or 13). 

Life is kind of like that board game, The Game of Life. I just learned that, though the game was created in 1860, it was updated in 1960, the year before I was born. I have pretty much followed its trajectory, with the addition of living overseas a few times. 

When I look back on how many times I’ve spun the spinner, taken leaps of faith, added pegs to my car, and purchased insurance, I feel 62. 

I wonder if anyone plays that game anymore. It could use a refresh.  

My husband and I were on track to make an international move in 2024. However, I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and am facing a year of intense treatment, which will postpone those plans.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers? 

My mother prided herself on looking “young for her age” and I have succumbed to similar vanity. But I realize the ability to look good or young (which is highly subjective) is mostly based on genetics, ease of life, and disposable income.  

I look just right for someone my age who has the time and money to eat well and exercise. 

I am enjoying my peers more than ever. We share a comforting frame of reference. 

Alison Krupnick at 3, in 1964.

What do you like about being your age? 

I like feeling calmer, steadier, and wiser.  I don’t have the extreme emotions I had when I was young or when I was going through perimenopause. 

What is difficult about being your age? 

Just before I turned 60, my life took some unexpected detours during COVID, which I wrote about for Oldster. 

I feel a seismic shift now that I’m over 60. Ageism in the workplace is real. Wearing out of body parts is real. The passage of time is bittersweet. The loss of loved ones is devastating.  

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told? 

It’s a lot more fun than I thought it would be.  

It was kind of a mind-fuck to turn 62 and be eligible for social security, while still having my face break out on occasion.

What has aging given you? Taken away from you? 

I stopped working sooner than I intended and was not able to get another job. I haven’t gotten any less experienced, but I have gotten older, and I have to assume that has something to do with my lack of success. 

Feeling discounted has given me the incentive to find the doors I want to open and confidently walk through them. 

Recognizing that life is precious and not infinite has motivated me to follow my dreams sooner rather than later. My husband and I were on track to make an international move in 2024. However, I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and am facing a year of intense treatment, which will postpone those plans. I am profoundly grateful that I live somewhere with excellent medical care and that my prognosis is good. Still, I am eager to complete my treatment, get a clean bill of health, and get back on track. 

Left, Krupnick in Vietnam in 1988 at 27; Right, Krupnick in India in 1998 at 37.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity? 

I feel like an “auntie,” not just to family members, but to younger people in general. For them, I’d like to offer wisdom, guidance when requested, and a safe soft landing. After I wrote this, I wondered if it was pretentious. Then, while bantering with a server at a restaurant, they told me they wished I were their fun aunt. So I guess I give off auntie vibes. 

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?  

It was kind of a mind-fuck to turn 62 and be eligible for social security, while still having my face break out on occasion. We are still gearing up to retire and move overseas after I complete cancer treatment. I look forward to this next chapter, which I’ve heard referred to as Second Adolescence, the Encore Years, the Third Act. (Sari, maybe you can coin the definitive term for it.)

Given my recent brush with mortality, I am looking forward to each and every year. 

I am facing the prospect of losing my hair during chemo. I’ve had a lifelong struggle with my hair, which is fine, thin and naturally a faded blonde turned mousy brown. I’ve colored it for years and have gotten it to a good place — golden blonde and a length I can manage — so I am bummed to potentially have hair struggles again.

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could? 

I had a lot of fun traveling the world in my 20s and early 30s but I was lonely.  

I felt enveloped in love when I was home raising my kids, but I yearned to travel. 

Now feels like the best of both worlds, minus the health issues. I wish I had my 62 year-old essence with my 26 year-old body. 

Krupnick visiting Portugal.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why? 

I had a friend named Sally, who I met in India when she was 60 and I was 24. She died at the age of 91 and I miss her terribly. Sally taught me to remain intellectually curious and to eat oatmeal. I think these are the secrets to a long, healthy life, along with maintaining a sense of humor and a positive attitude.  

I once had a boss who disparagingly called me an optimist. I take on that mantle proudly. 

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise? 

I no longer wear uncomfortable shoes.  I try not to wear any uncomfortable clothes, but sometimes I bow to fashion. 

I am facing the prospect of losing my hair during chemo. I’ve had a lifelong struggle with my hair, which is fine, thin and naturally a faded blonde turned mousy brown. I’ve colored it for years and have gotten it to a good place — golden blonde and a length I can manage — so I am bummed to potentially have hair struggles again. I’ve heard chemo hair grows back curly. Maybe I’ll embrace that and also color it purple. 

I have scars on my abdomen from my three COVD-era surgeries and will soon have another scar from my breast cancer surgery. In some ways, I view them the way some people view wrinkles, as evidence that I have lived. I liberated myself from self-consciousness by going to a nude beach and realizing that nobody cared about my scars. Diving naked into the water with this body that has withstood so much was exhilarating and it set me free from shame. 

I liberated myself from self-consciousness by going to a nude beach and realizing that nobody cared about my scars. Diving naked into the water with this body that has withstood so much was exhilarating and it set me free from shame. 

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why? 

I ignore those stupid articles that dictate what a woman over 60 should wear or do with her hair. 

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours? 

I like to take big trips for milestone birthdays. For regular birthdays I like to do something active during the day and then have a nice meal with loved ones. My birthday falls around Labor Day, so the weather is usually good. The past several years, I’ve gone standup paddle boarding with my husband and dog. 

I plan to joyfully celebrate my next birthday, which will happen near the end of my cancer treatment.