19 Comments

I am nourished by his relentless curiosity and openness to the world. Someone who finds every year more interesting than the last is someone who’ll never be bored. Still, I have to ask: When will a middle-aged woman contemplate her naked body in the mirror and be proud of what she sees?

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Goals!!!

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I think that can happen. Ten years ago it was sad to see myself with no clothes on. I’ve seen a few nude knockouts over 50. But I do understand not prioritizing that kind of thing.

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"This will reek of cliché, but every year is more interesting to me."

Thank you for this. Not a cliche at all, as the vast majority believe the polar opposite.

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These are such cool and interesting answers -- cool and interesting life arc, too. (We overlapped in the 2010s PDX, it looks like.)

I totally get it about the 27 Club. Cobain was on my 27 list in addition to Hendrix, Janis, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones. Apparently the "27 Club" idea didn't hit pop culture until after Kurt died (?) but I was sure aware of it long before that.

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Sounds to me like 58 is your “Apex Age”. I’m thinking maybe 86 is mine?🤷🏽

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So much wisdom right here.

"I like the sense of knowledge coalescing."

"Missing my children"--I, too, wish I'd spent more time with my littles instead of my careers. But that's the downside of the American dream, which Donnell Alexander also points out:

"Life as a game that you can win used to be my jam. The truth is that buying that ideological construct kept me looking down the road too often."

Goals: "The Asian seniors at the gym who swim and keep lean bodies are seriously who I want to be, in the physical sense. Also, I know a legally-blind guy in Fresno who’s so interestingly happy and self-sufficient. It’s a common, quiet dignity that’s quite inspirational. I want to land the plane like that guy."

I love this interview. Instead of trying to sell us something, including a frantic sense of How Wonderful his life is, Donnell Alexander delivers truth and dignity. Thank you.

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so glad to see this

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Loved reading this Donnell! It’s been a long road since our days at the SFBG. Want to read your memoir! I so hear you on the joy and satisfaction of being a middle aged athlete. Bravo! Xox

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Love this dude.

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Re the legally blind guy & your comment: "quiet dignity that’s quite inspirational. I want to land the plane like that guy.” I loved that observation. Publishing your book on 9/11-wow.

I am curious re your trippin during cvid & will have to read more:) As for final good-bye, a suggestion-don’t leave it to your family. We make plans for so much in life, yet not beyond. Maybe soul search & figure out before so that your children are not burdened & are aware of your wishes. I am glad my parents years before spelled out their wishes (helped on the sibling front, too:)

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Interesting thought. Thanks so much for that.

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Ms Botton, Mr. Alexander: Age 58 is not old, it is mature. Doesn't mean you are not able to gain perspective and improve your well-being. But calling a person age 58 an "oldster" is like calling a 17 yr old an adult. Close... but most persons and institutions designate the beginning of old age to be at least 60.

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PS I am the person behind Oldster, and I am 59. I've been obsessed with what it means to grow older since I was 10.

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Hi. Oldster is not about "old people," it's about getting older, at every phase of life. "Exploring what it means to travel through time in a human body, at every phase of life." More about that here: https://oldster.substack.com/p/q-who-qualifies-as-an-oldster-a-everyone We're all the oldest we've ever been, and every age is surprising to us.

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Loved your comment: "We're all the oldest we've ever been, and every age is surprising to us.” And enjoyed your style of questions in this article & how you framed them. Asking, “What are your plans for your body when done using it?”was perfect! (Reminded me of the Cat Steven’s song, “Miles from NoWhere.” Lyric: “Lord, my body has been a good friend. But I won’t need it when I reach the end”).

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Thank you, Zara!

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Laughed aloud.

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Mostly my audience knows the drill by now, but every once in a while I still have to bat away comments like these...

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