Oh, the friend thing hits home for me - and many of us, I’d bet.
From 8 years old until about 11, I remember giggling all night long with close girlfriends; we never judged each other. And then… I don’t know something happened at 12 and everything fell apart until I was about 50. Now, I have wonderful girlfriends again;…
Oh, the friend thing hits home for me - and many of us, I’d bet.
From 8 years old until about 11, I remember giggling all night long with close girlfriends; we never judged each other. And then… I don’t know something happened at 12 and everything fell apart until I was about 50. Now, I have wonderful girlfriends again; and we giggle and we don’t judge.
It’s sickens me to think that the “something that happened” was competition? We must teach our girls better!
I think it does happen, it happened to me at 12, but it's cultural and when we are 12 we don't know how patriarchy is hurting us and causing us to hurt each other. I'm glad the interview brought you something. Thank you, thank you.
I don’t think it’s *only* competition among girls and women. I think it’s more that we start getting subjected to the troubles of patriarchy when we hit puberty, and it’s so awful, and since we “can’t” take it out on men I see women take it out on each other… but finding female friends who are gentle to one another is absolutely possible! I’ve always had them in my life.
Yes. I have shared all these responses with my 21 y/o daughter- she (& her generation) seem so much more aware than I ever was; and I mean right up until I was about 48. I am learning so much from her and spaces like this- I think back and see that my female relationships were nearly all moldy with patriarchal expectations: sisters, my mother, friends & co-workers, team mates, teachers- coaches-. I was a huge part of the problem too.
Yes — to be honest, I’m on the cusp of 40 and the people I have the most trouble with are women in my family who are Boomers. They’re very cruel to one another (and me, and my cousins) and I can’t help feeling it’s because they were coming of age in the 50s and 60s where there were no spaces where women were really respected. (I’m guessing you’re Gen X so not commenting on that generation, just saying what I’ve observed in my family!). I really wish they’d be more compassionate with one another (and with me) even if I understand the social reasons why they’re this way. But it’s strikingly different from what I see in my generation, and I hope young women today are even more pro-women than we are.
Thank you Jeannine.
Oh, the friend thing hits home for me - and many of us, I’d bet.
From 8 years old until about 11, I remember giggling all night long with close girlfriends; we never judged each other. And then… I don’t know something happened at 12 and everything fell apart until I was about 50. Now, I have wonderful girlfriends again; and we giggle and we don’t judge.
It’s sickens me to think that the “something that happened” was competition? We must teach our girls better!
I think it does happen, it happened to me at 12, but it's cultural and when we are 12 we don't know how patriarchy is hurting us and causing us to hurt each other. I'm glad the interview brought you something. Thank you, thank you.
I don’t think it’s *only* competition among girls and women. I think it’s more that we start getting subjected to the troubles of patriarchy when we hit puberty, and it’s so awful, and since we “can’t” take it out on men I see women take it out on each other… but finding female friends who are gentle to one another is absolutely possible! I’ve always had them in my life.
Yes. I have shared all these responses with my 21 y/o daughter- she (& her generation) seem so much more aware than I ever was; and I mean right up until I was about 48. I am learning so much from her and spaces like this- I think back and see that my female relationships were nearly all moldy with patriarchal expectations: sisters, my mother, friends & co-workers, team mates, teachers- coaches-. I was a huge part of the problem too.
Yes — to be honest, I’m on the cusp of 40 and the people I have the most trouble with are women in my family who are Boomers. They’re very cruel to one another (and me, and my cousins) and I can’t help feeling it’s because they were coming of age in the 50s and 60s where there were no spaces where women were really respected. (I’m guessing you’re Gen X so not commenting on that generation, just saying what I’ve observed in my family!). I really wish they’d be more compassionate with one another (and with me) even if I understand the social reasons why they’re this way. But it’s strikingly different from what I see in my generation, and I hope young women today are even more pro-women than we are.
*female cousins. They leave male family members very much alone, when they’re not mostly singing their praises!