This is wise and wonderful. I love the story about the 102 year old who was smoking and said, "All four doctors who told me to quit are dead.” Not that I plan to start smoking.
That part made me think of my mother who once said, “I’ll die when I’m damn good and ready!” I burst out laughing, and I absolutely believed it. She has survived all the odds.
I enjoyed Sarah Fay's response very much...partially because it made me smile. When I was 52, I wouldn't have even thought of signing on to a platform called "Oldster." Nevertheless, I wish her well with all my heart. I am eventually going to answer the questionnaire as soon as I learn how to upload photos, but when I was 52, it was the prime of my life. Old age was so, so far away. I'll be getting back to you soon, Sari!...I'll be 86 in about 5 weeks.
Sarah is one of my favorite people on Substack and for that matter in the world so reading this was a real treat. A few things that especially intrigued me:
1) Having read Pathological and knowing how happy Sarah is now, I wonder if current Sarah would actually want to change anything. And whether current happiness has to be in some ways a product of being Cured after such a long and painful experience.
2) Great advice not to go overboard in optimizing for health outcomes. At ten years older than Sarah, what makes me feel optimistic about health is all the research and advances in medical technology that's occurring.
3) The link between menopause and mental health deserves research!
I find it odd that people over optimise health too - I am a finite being and that is as it should be, our bodies age, that is what they do. Plus I really can not take myself so seriously that I feel the world needs me hanging around longer than I am designed for - just not that special.
What fun to see Sarah Fay as one of your best friends! She is a legend for pulling out all the stops at 50 and not looking back. I hope she does well with her Substack Writers at Work and rises above the noise of success stories from people half her age. Plus, I'd rather listen to her than the young men, all in need of a shave. Did Gilette go out of business?
I’m 50 & have suffered from severe OCD since childhood. I’ve noticed that perimenopause seems to have lightened my symptoms significantly. I’ve even been able to lower my medication dosage.
I love Sarah Fay's philosophy of life. "I am probably going to be in a state of permanent bliss by the time I am 80." Bravo! I am in that state, and I am 85. Reason for my bliss? I wrote my memoir, Wrong Country, in my 75, and I work on my essays, Russian Poets Before and After the Revolution. Intellectually, I have never worked as actively as I do now. And I don't need to ask agents forever to read and like my memoir for publishing. Substack saves me. I found my readers here. And like Sarah's mom, I dye my hair; I can't imagine myself looking very old because I don't feel so old. Sarah, you are admirable in your get-over of all your medical difficulties! And God bless you in your life and work, though I don't believe in god but believe in some supreme spirit leading us in our lives.
Inspiring to read about ‘recovery’ from mental illness. Rather than just treating the symptoms. With a family member who suffers from mental illness, reading that ‘you are not your diagnosis’ brings me hope.
so true - we are all so much more than a constructed diagnosis. The best psychiatrists I have met are those who are also psychotherapists and/or I have met on training courses as a psychologist. I understand that real distress is terrifying when you are hearing voices etc and sometimes medication is necessary. I still take mine as well as keeping healthy etc.
The concept of Gestalt - the whole is greater than the sum of all its part. None of us are one dimensional. I hope your family member finds themselves' again
the need for certainty perhaps? it seems that "identity" means more for our younger generation - I am 56 - different and I am hopeful and do believe there is more compassion and openness to issues such as mental health because of it - we all are working things out. I prefer not to get hooked on one aspect -
Practical, encouraging, tangible. As an FYI, I'm a psychologist and I've always shied away from diagnoses. I feel like too often they trap people. I'm a "student" of yours on Substack, LOL.
Ah, Sarah, it is possible your post-menopausal serenity will be shattered when you meet someone and wham!, your mind, heart, and, believe it or not, body enter a second adolescence.
Sarah Fay exemplifies what I've been wondering is possible, such a strong sense of being herself while also engaged in meaningful connection, with people and her gorgeous, obviously intelligent cats. Just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you.
This was a great one. I went ahead and bought Sarah’s first book.
Also, I love the spread of ages that are featured in this magazine. It is super interesting & reinforces a commitment I’ve made to maintain relationships across generations. If we don’t engage with those younger than us, and we have the good luck of reaching an age older than most, we’ll end up quite lonely!
Very fun to read Sarah Fay’s responses—so lighthearted but so serious at the same time! What a great approach to life! Now I want to read the memoirs. ❤️
I hadn’t known about Sarah Fay and I am so grateful for this introduction. I just turned 46 but have always considered myself a bit of an old soul and I love hanging out with older people and soaking up their stories, experiences and wisdom - hence my subscribing to this magazine. In good health, getting older doesn’t scare me at all and I have always welcomed what I imagined would be an increased sense of freedom, confidence, self-knowledge and acceptance. Reading Sarah Fay confirms all that and makes me even more excited for the ripening that’s to come. I LOVE hearing about menopause as a good thing!! That’s new and I’m going to spread that positive word around to my friends. ❤️.
This is wise and wonderful. I love the story about the 102 year old who was smoking and said, "All four doctors who told me to quit are dead.” Not that I plan to start smoking.
I love that, too!
Me too!! Amazing.
That part made me think of my mother who once said, “I’ll die when I’m damn good and ready!” I burst out laughing, and I absolutely believed it. She has survived all the odds.
I enjoyed Sarah Fay's response very much...partially because it made me smile. When I was 52, I wouldn't have even thought of signing on to a platform called "Oldster." Nevertheless, I wish her well with all my heart. I am eventually going to answer the questionnaire as soon as I learn how to upload photos, but when I was 52, it was the prime of my life. Old age was so, so far away. I'll be getting back to you soon, Sari!...I'll be 86 in about 5 weeks.
Thanks for weighing in, Marianna! (Just a reminder that Oldster is about getting older, not about old people, per se.) https://oldster.substack.com/p/q-who-qualifies-as-an-oldster-a-everyone
Sarah is one of my favorite people on Substack and for that matter in the world so reading this was a real treat. A few things that especially intrigued me:
1) Having read Pathological and knowing how happy Sarah is now, I wonder if current Sarah would actually want to change anything. And whether current happiness has to be in some ways a product of being Cured after such a long and painful experience.
2) Great advice not to go overboard in optimizing for health outcomes. At ten years older than Sarah, what makes me feel optimistic about health is all the research and advances in medical technology that's occurring.
3) The link between menopause and mental health deserves research!
Thanks to you both for this interview.
I find it odd that people over optimise health too - I am a finite being and that is as it should be, our bodies age, that is what they do. Plus I really can not take myself so seriously that I feel the world needs me hanging around longer than I am designed for - just not that special.
Thanks for chiming in, David!
What fun to see Sarah Fay as one of your best friends! She is a legend for pulling out all the stops at 50 and not looking back. I hope she does well with her Substack Writers at Work and rises above the noise of success stories from people half her age. Plus, I'd rather listen to her than the young men, all in need of a shave. Did Gilette go out of business?
Really loved hearing Sarah Fay's voice in this questionnaire--so clear and honest.
"We need a mental health system that’s focused on recovery, not maintenance and the management of symptoms."
Yes, I agree 100%. I look forward to reading Sarah's books!
I'm75 and I remember telling my daughter how great menopause was. She couldn't believe it.
Big fan, myself. (Despite never ending hot flashes.)
I’m 50 & have suffered from severe OCD since childhood. I’ve noticed that perimenopause seems to have lightened my symptoms significantly. I’ve even been able to lower my medication dosage.
I love Sarah Fay's philosophy of life. "I am probably going to be in a state of permanent bliss by the time I am 80." Bravo! I am in that state, and I am 85. Reason for my bliss? I wrote my memoir, Wrong Country, in my 75, and I work on my essays, Russian Poets Before and After the Revolution. Intellectually, I have never worked as actively as I do now. And I don't need to ask agents forever to read and like my memoir for publishing. Substack saves me. I found my readers here. And like Sarah's mom, I dye my hair; I can't imagine myself looking very old because I don't feel so old. Sarah, you are admirable in your get-over of all your medical difficulties! And God bless you in your life and work, though I don't believe in god but believe in some supreme spirit leading us in our lives.
Inspiring to read about ‘recovery’ from mental illness. Rather than just treating the symptoms. With a family member who suffers from mental illness, reading that ‘you are not your diagnosis’ brings me hope.
so true - we are all so much more than a constructed diagnosis. The best psychiatrists I have met are those who are also psychotherapists and/or I have met on training courses as a psychologist. I understand that real distress is terrifying when you are hearing voices etc and sometimes medication is necessary. I still take mine as well as keeping healthy etc.
The concept of Gestalt - the whole is greater than the sum of all its part. None of us are one dimensional. I hope your family member finds themselves' again
Yes! And yet, many young people today love a diagnosis! A worrying trend in my opinion.
the need for certainty perhaps? it seems that "identity" means more for our younger generation - I am 56 - different and I am hopeful and do believe there is more compassion and openness to issues such as mental health because of it - we all are working things out. I prefer not to get hooked on one aspect -
True, true. A compassionate view, thank you.
Practical, encouraging, tangible. As an FYI, I'm a psychologist and I've always shied away from diagnoses. I feel like too often they trap people. I'm a "student" of yours on Substack, LOL.
Ah, Sarah, it is possible your post-menopausal serenity will be shattered when you meet someone and wham!, your mind, heart, and, believe it or not, body enter a second adolescence.
Sarah Fay exemplifies what I've been wondering is possible, such a strong sense of being herself while also engaged in meaningful connection, with people and her gorgeous, obviously intelligent cats. Just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you.
What a great read. I don’t know if I’ve ever wanted to be interviewed more than for Oldster. Thinking of my responses already.
This was a great one. I went ahead and bought Sarah’s first book.
Also, I love the spread of ages that are featured in this magazine. It is super interesting & reinforces a commitment I’ve made to maintain relationships across generations. If we don’t engage with those younger than us, and we have the good luck of reaching an age older than most, we’ll end up quite lonely!
Very fun to read Sarah Fay’s responses—so lighthearted but so serious at the same time! What a great approach to life! Now I want to read the memoirs. ❤️
I hadn’t known about Sarah Fay and I am so grateful for this introduction. I just turned 46 but have always considered myself a bit of an old soul and I love hanging out with older people and soaking up their stories, experiences and wisdom - hence my subscribing to this magazine. In good health, getting older doesn’t scare me at all and I have always welcomed what I imagined would be an increased sense of freedom, confidence, self-knowledge and acceptance. Reading Sarah Fay confirms all that and makes me even more excited for the ripening that’s to come. I LOVE hearing about menopause as a good thing!! That’s new and I’m going to spread that positive word around to my friends. ❤️.