Jami, your creative process and your love of getting people together, lead you to wherever you wish to go, and that, for me, is very exciting!
This coming month of March I’ll be in New Orleans for both Mardi Gras and St. Patrick’s Day with my partner Phil. We would love to meet you sometime
during March. Would you like to meet us as well?
You and I are both participants in The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, mine printed on July 17, 2024. I so enjoyed reading your openness and honesty about yourself.
Jami is so wonderful. I've been a supporter of her Substack since it began and I love #1000wordsofsummer and her book #1000words is brilliant. This reviewer loved A Reason to See You Again -- I got an ARC-- I'll review it soon but you can order it now.
I feel like this is something that comes up again and again both here and in other substacks and in IRL conversations with friends: "Also when you choose a path it can certainly be altered. So it has been interesting to watch people who sort of “did everything right” (whatever that means) suddenly shift gears and have a life closer to those who didn’t, or did it their own way, anyway."
Going to think about that some more! Great interview!
As I read this interview I amswered one question for myself: What has age given you? My summary of my answer is age has given me wisdom, discovery of how I build walls around my feelings, time to love myself, and pure joy.
"I remember when I had an appearance or an event I wanted to look nice for, I could just like, not drink for a week or skip bread or whatever, and then I was a brand new bright-eyed, fresh-faced woman again. Then I needed a month of good behavior. Then it was two months. Now it is never. I will only be who I am now. So I better learn to like it."
This is what I'm coming to terms with as a 51-year-old, and it's the hardest thing. I had no idea I was so vain.
I will admit to the vanity origins of much of my lifelong attempts at looking ___, what? Decent? Artsy? Attractive? Interesting? Employable…
I will couple self-expression with vanity, to be fair. It was fun; I had the skills.
But I must say that for the last decade, if I just do the minimum of clean and covered, I become utterly invisible in an urban community. I have had people constantly cutting in line, talking over me, and trying to boss me! Oh HELL NO!
I’m becoming belligerently proud of surviving to 70 and yet find that I feel the need to visually register to even hold my own space. Has vanity (the nice body is gone) morphed into entitlement? Or survival?
Now that I am an elder, I thought the day would come that I would just graduate beyond having to deal with it at all. Not yet. Not if I don’t read as independent, mentally sharp, up on the grooming, ‘financially secure’ (what a joke on SS) or any of those other codes for exploitable/status.
No wonder I just stay home most of the time.
Does anyone remember that 1976 business book, based on tons of dubious ‘surveys’, Dress For Success? They keep changing, but it seems like there are always exclusionary ‘codes’ to crack.
This is so relatable. Twenties can be terrible! I would much rather be my calmer, wiser 40-something self. But with my 20-year old energy and ability to eat large amounts of Doritos.
Jami, your creative process and your love of getting people together, lead you to wherever you wish to go, and that, for me, is very exciting!
This coming month of March I’ll be in New Orleans for both Mardi Gras and St. Patrick’s Day with my partner Phil. We would love to meet you sometime
during March. Would you like to meet us as well?
You and I are both participants in The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, mine printed on July 17, 2024. I so enjoyed reading your openness and honesty about yourself.
Bella Ruth Bader
Jami is so wonderful. I've been a supporter of her Substack since it began and I love #1000wordsofsummer and her book #1000words is brilliant. This reviewer loved A Reason to See You Again -- I got an ARC-- I'll review it soon but you can order it now.
Yes, Jami is a rock star and wonderful writer.
Thanks guys!!
I feel like this is something that comes up again and again both here and in other substacks and in IRL conversations with friends: "Also when you choose a path it can certainly be altered. So it has been interesting to watch people who sort of “did everything right” (whatever that means) suddenly shift gears and have a life closer to those who didn’t, or did it their own way, anyway."
Going to think about that some more! Great interview!
I love remembering that we can always change course. I've done it a few times, always with trepidation. I need to remember to be less scared...
"Ultimately I like to bring people together more than anything else." I love that. Thank you, Jami and Oldster!
<3
As I read this interview I amswered one question for myself: What has age given you? My summary of my answer is age has given me wisdom, discovery of how I build walls around my feelings, time to love myself, and pure joy.
"I remember when I had an appearance or an event I wanted to look nice for, I could just like, not drink for a week or skip bread or whatever, and then I was a brand new bright-eyed, fresh-faced woman again. Then I needed a month of good behavior. Then it was two months. Now it is never. I will only be who I am now. So I better learn to like it."
This is what I'm coming to terms with as a 51-year-old, and it's the hardest thing. I had no idea I was so vain.
I will admit to the vanity origins of much of my lifelong attempts at looking ___, what? Decent? Artsy? Attractive? Interesting? Employable…
I will couple self-expression with vanity, to be fair. It was fun; I had the skills.
But I must say that for the last decade, if I just do the minimum of clean and covered, I become utterly invisible in an urban community. I have had people constantly cutting in line, talking over me, and trying to boss me! Oh HELL NO!
I’m becoming belligerently proud of surviving to 70 and yet find that I feel the need to visually register to even hold my own space. Has vanity (the nice body is gone) morphed into entitlement? Or survival?
Now that I am an elder, I thought the day would come that I would just graduate beyond having to deal with it at all. Not yet. Not if I don’t read as independent, mentally sharp, up on the grooming, ‘financially secure’ (what a joke on SS) or any of those other codes for exploitable/status.
No wonder I just stay home most of the time.
Does anyone remember that 1976 business book, based on tons of dubious ‘surveys’, Dress For Success? They keep changing, but it seems like there are always exclusionary ‘codes’ to crack.
This is so relatable. Twenties can be terrible! I would much rather be my calmer, wiser 40-something self. But with my 20-year old energy and ability to eat large amounts of Doritos.
What a very lovely read...........
I loved this! Thanks Jami ☺️
Loved reading this interview! It was so honest and real! Thank you both for a great interview!
Glad you enjoyed it.
Me too!
I loved every word.
"I'll show as much skin as I please." Oh that's a tough one but I'm getting on board with it after this summer upstate and the humidity. LOL
Loved this <3
Glad to hear!
“I just checked in to see what condition my condition was in” - Kenny Rogers and The First Edition
great read--but did a double take of the intro photo--there is a chandelier growing out of your head,,,