This is 50: Comic Book Author Jonathan Baylis Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"I once talked to my mother-in-law who was rounding 90 and I told her that I still feel young, like 18. And she said, 'Yeah, me too. I feel like 80!'”

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Here, “So Buttons” author and graphic memoirist Jonathan Baylis responds. - Sari Botton

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Illustration of Jonathan Baylis by Oldster Magazine contributor Mari Naomi

Jonathan Baylis is the author of the autobiographical comic series, So Buttons. In the tradition of Harvey Pekar's American Splendor, Baylis matches his stories with groundbreaking artists to capture down-to-earth slices of everyday life and pop culture. For over ten years, he has collected his stories into the self-published, “So Buttons” series, of which there are currently 12 issues and a coupl’a specials. He lives in the birth borough of his dad, Brooklyn, with his Canadian comedian wife Ophira Eisenberg, and their son Lucas. Find more at SoButtons.com

How old are you?

I just turned 50 on January 31^st! Me and Portia deRossi.

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think? 

When I think of 50, I think of older, grayer, tireder, business-y men. I mean, I’m certainly 50. My references are solidly Gen X references. But I don’t feel like what I think 50 should feel like. Maybe I feel more like 38, whatever the heck that means, but in my head, I’m often stuck at 18? I once talked to my mother-in-law who was rounding 90 and I told her that I still feel young, like 18. And she said, “Yeah, me too. I feel like 80!”

I have a real inferiority complex. Being creative always seems more childish or something? So I think everyone else my age is settled with Vice President titles with more established business careers and 401Ks that are WAY bigger than mine.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

I feel young for my age for sure. I’m in entertainment, which is a younger person’s gig. I think, so that helps keep me young. I’ve also exercised more over the past year than I have over my entire life, finally clicking in to something I enjoy. I spend my nights as a basic boy with Yoga with Adriene, ha!

As far as my peers, I have a real inferiority complex. Being creative always seems more childish or something? So I think everyone else my age is settled with Vice President titles with more established business careers and 401Ks that are WAY bigger than mine. They are closer to retirement than I am. That’s my perception.

“Here's a photo of me cheers-ing myself on my 50th birthday in Paris. Smokey peaty cocktail at L'Hotel. (old man reading glasses on my collar)”

What do you like about being your age?

I don’t know that I say to myself, I like being 50 because… dot dot dot. But I guess I like this crossover generation that Gen X is. I didn’t have the internet growing up, so I have certain hands-on skills from that, but was also the first to HAVE the internet right after college, so I’m also digitally adept. I’m both analog and digital.

One of my modern skills is digital video editing, but I went to NYU Film School and physically cut 8mm and 16mm film with razor blades, which is a well thought out and tedious process. I think I’m a better digital editor because I visualize what I want before I make a digital cut, because that’s what I had to do with physical film. You can’t swap shots back and forth quickly on a Steenbeck like you can do in Adobe Premiere.

What is difficult about being your age?

I became a father in my 40s, and I always thought that I’d be a younger dad, but that was not my path. Part of my getting fit this year was simply to be a stronger dad with more endurance. It’s difficult to see so many of my peers with kids finishing up the school years with slightly more “freedom” to do things in life. I’m jealous!

Everyone also seems younger than I am in comics (I release one comic book every year, an autobiographical book called So Buttons) and I worry about being relatable, but I try to remind myself that my work comes from the heart, and as long as I’m open and honest, I can be seen.

“Here's a one-pager about my birthday (I'm doing a series of these of people born on Jan 31st)” From Baylis’s So Buttons series. This one is written by Baylis and illustrated by Ben Passmore.

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

For some reason I had this idea that this would be the “stable” time. The “comfortable” time. But it’s not that for me at all. My kid is young. I’m freelance, not staff. My health care’s going up $400 this year. I’m not as established as I’d like to be in my main career nor my side creative… career? Hobby? I feel like I need more therapy just writing this paragraph!

Everyone also seems younger than I am in comics (I release one comic book every year, an autobiographical book called So Buttons) and I worry about being relatable, but I try to remind myself that my work comes from the heart, and as long as I’m open and honest, I can be seen.

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

It’s given me quite a large indie comic and graphic novel collection! And my ME-moir series So Buttons is about 300 pages long, not 20. I also have a taste for nice whisky and bourbon and not shitty light beer.

It’s taken my near-sightedness. I got Lasik 20 years ago and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But I just needed to have an adjustment for mid and far distance, so now my nearsightedness is no longer a thing. I hate my reading glasses.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

I’d like to think I’m more comfortable with my personality and am able to be myself around more people and not give a darn what other people think, but that’s not 100% true. I write auto-biographical comics which invites people to literally think about me and of course I want them to like me. It’s really hard to let that go.

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?

I just turned 50 and treated myself to my first trip alone since my kid was born (7 years ago). I went to a prestigious French comics festival in Angouleme France and it was magical. Hanging with friends, staying up late, not waking up early for school. Eating a baguette and cheese for two out of three meals every day. How do they get those baguettes so flaky? It’s like how bagels are only good from New York. Must be the eau. And the comics—my lord, some of the most beautiful work I’ve ever seen. And printed the most respectfully. I quite enjoyed that milestone and am still basking in it.

Baylis at 13 with comic authors Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson. (“Note the wrist band wallet.”)

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

I have a favorite childhood age, which was 17. I had switched high schools and made friendships that would last me my whole life. I truly felt like I belonged. I would only go back if I could keep the knowledge I have today. Mess with some jerks’ minds!

I think my favorite adult age is coming soon. I know more who I am, I’m getting better at the parenting thing, I’m confident in most of my artistic abilities… I just need some kind of stable staff thing for a few years and that would be a sweet spot of, not coasting, but living a little more comfortably without looking over my shoulder.

I got Lasik 20 years ago and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But I just needed to have an adjustment for mid and far distance, so now my nearsightedness is no longer a thing. I hate my reading glasses.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

Well, it used to be Woody Allen, but then I switched to Bill Cosby, and now maybe I’ll just say… no.

No wait! Jack Kirby! That man was a creative fountain til the day he died. I’d love to be able to artistically create forever.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

Since the pandemic, I hardly wear shoes. I’ve settled into my Adidas clamshells and rarely depart from them. Having just returned from France, I’m tempted to get one of those scarves that everyone wears and go that route. Who doesn’t like a warm neck?

For beauty? I’ve got eczema, so… moisturize, Moisturize, MOISTURIZE!

For my health, besides the daily yoga, I try to hike in woods as often as I can. Even if it’s by nearby Prospect Park. The Japanese call it forest bathing, yeah? That is the right thing to do. Let that nature and air wash over you. Breathe deeply. Primal scream if you need it. Hide the bodies.

I think my favorite adult age is coming soon. I know more who I am, I’m getting better at the parenting thing, I’m confident in most of my artistic abilities…

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

I have GERD, which is a classic Jewish acid-reflux thing to have and I’m supposed to cut down on coffee and booze. Fuck. That. I’ll overdose on Tums. I created my own blend of coffee and have found the perfect whisky. I love them way too much.

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?

I believe in treating one’s self. Take the day off. Do something you love. For me it would be a daytime movie or NY Philharmonic rehearsal. Eat a great bagel or a slice. Or both! Carb up! Get a massage. Then invite everyone you love for drinks.