30 Comments

This is amazing!!! Another great example of why Oldster makes my life better. Thank you for writing this. I am not a parent, but I really needed to hear the hysterectomy part, and no one talks about that shit.

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Thank you for your kind words about Oldster, Gina! 😘 PS My hysterectomy was one of the best things to ever happen to me. Can’t recommend highly enough to those who suffer from painful uterine issues.

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A walking tree, free of nests. Sonya, the way this essay sways and bends and returns to standing upright (yes, of course I extended the metaphor) is a joy.

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Thank you so much, Jessica!

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Thank you, Sonya Huber! I've followed your writing for years, and love everything you've put to paper.

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Thank you so so much, Theresa!

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I love this so very much Sonya! Thank you for it! The move from nests to uterus is so well done. I haven’t gotten rid of my uterus (though I have longed to in the past) but now I have an IUD which has basically stopped my periods. The way you describe that feeling of being 12 again, free, in your body but not controlled by that particular uterus nest is perfect. I’ve felt some of that lately and it’s wonderful.

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Love reading this - I can really identify, and the "nest" spoke to me in a beautiful way. Wonderful writing.

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Thank you!!

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Oh I just loved this!

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Thank you!

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Love this so much. I relinquished mine at age 35 after having one 11 and two 10 pound babies. It was beyond tired and prolapsed so bad it was the size of someone 3 months pregnant. It was a great relief, but I’d never thought of it as removing the target from my back.

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I’ve never read a perspective quite like this before and I deeply appreciate it. Thank you.

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I know just who to share this with, thanks Sonya!

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Thank you, Sonya. My boys are in high school and this phase of life is on the horizon. I appreciate the perspective.

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This is so gorgeous.

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As a solo parent of two kiddos in elementary school, I often look forward to becoming that “tree without nests,” even though it is still many years away. I often feel a twinge of guilt when I find myself doing it, probably because mothers are *supposed to* dread the day their children move out and feel sad when it finally arrives. I expect to feel anxious and proud and nostalgic for the days I’m living now, but absolutely not mournful. So your essay was as reassuring for me to read as it was lovely - thanks!

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What a stunning essay! I read it with my heart in my throat, since my oldest is leaving for college next year and I can barely think about her absence. But I loved all of it, especially the unexpected freedom at the end: "I’m a tree free of nests, and it is glorious to feel the wind rushing through my branches."

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I loved this column. It’s hard to overstate the potential negative results of unwanted pregnancy. I had an early hysterectomy because of endometriosis and understand how much freedom can result not having that hanging over one. Thank you !

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I admire the symbolism of human and nature, mother, bird, home and nest. A wonderful insight!

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Man, I loved this essay so much. I am a bird lover/nest gatherer too and related so well to this beautiful handling of the nest as metaphor. "It must take a fierce patience to turn sticks into a cup," is such an apt description of parenting in general! But then, that you "hadn’t understood the humming background noise of fear—until it was gone," was revelatory. I didn't understand the ancestral/DNA level of fear inherent in childbirth until I was fast approaching it as a first time mother. I'm sure some of that fear still resides in my body and it makes sense that it would live in that organ. I knew my third childbirth experience would be my last and I remember telling my midwife I'd be happy to expel the whole apparatus. Your story makes me think that might still be a good idea.

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