Irwin is just fine Mary Sue. Just don’t call me “Irv”. And hugs are welcome. I just love and have always loved, introducing Fran to others. Never as a trophy. But just because I felt so lucky. I didn’t realize it when I wrote this, but now I see it and am so grateful for the responses like yours. Thank you.
Oh Treasa. There is no better legacy. Fran would have loved to hear that. She also did telephone counseling through the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society with people facing Bone Marrow Transplants. If that is your disease I recommend contacting them. Or Cancer Care.
Despite cancer, in spite of cancer, to spite cancer—we had a wonderful life together. “What’s next?”got us there.
Thank you so much for coming and telling me. It helps me in my grieving. 🙏🏻
Thank you Caroline. I knew I was lucky for each day we had together. And I welcomed introducing her to strangers not as a trophy but because it thrilled me to watch her engage others. Now it comforts me in my grief. 🙏🏻🪷
Claire are you a Brit or an Aussie? I could tell from you humour (sp?). Or do you need to turn off your auto-incorrect? I’ve spent lots of time teaching in both and always felt more understood and appreciated there than in the USA. I think it’s the humour and irreverence. That’s the blessing and the strength along with lots of love.
Sep 4, 2023·edited Sep 4, 2023Liked by Sari Botton
This is as vivid and moving a portrait as I've read in a long time. How could it not be, when it was written by someone as gifted as Irwin, about a woman who clearly merited every word? I love Fran, of course. And like the exterminator, I find myself missing her now that this beautiful essay is finished.
Here I am, a 41 year old woman worn by disease and wondering inside, "why me?" Now I have Fran to remember and look up-to. Thank you for sharing your life and love with us.
Thank you Irwin. I was smiling through tears reading about how wherever Fran went, she ended up helping more than being helped. That's a legacy. A beautiful legacy. Love and prayers to you. May you be supported as you endure the loss of a partner like that.
Marvelous writing. I felt that I knew Fran, and I liked her. I am so sorry for the loss of that wonderful woman, but sharing this essay with us is a gift and I thank you for that.
Such a poignant, beautiful piece. These sentences struck at my heart as I recognize the feeling so well: "The “firsts” approach like diving WWII Japanese kamikaze planes, unexpected and out of nowhere, dreadful in the pain they can inflict." Brilliant. And, we all love Fran now.
What she said to the doctor- and you have to do this everyday. How does one have such empathy? Incredible woman. Beautiful writing. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like her memory is already such a blessing.
You’re not alone Elissa. I even made my psycho-pharmacologist cry last week.
Irwin is just fine Mary Sue. Just don’t call me “Irv”. And hugs are welcome. I just love and have always loved, introducing Fran to others. Never as a trophy. But just because I felt so lucky. I didn’t realize it when I wrote this, but now I see it and am so grateful for the responses like yours. Thank you.
Oh Treasa. There is no better legacy. Fran would have loved to hear that. She also did telephone counseling through the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society with people facing Bone Marrow Transplants. If that is your disease I recommend contacting them. Or Cancer Care.
Despite cancer, in spite of cancer, to spite cancer—we had a wonderful life together. “What’s next?”got us there.
Thank you so much for coming and telling me. It helps me in my grieving. 🙏🏻
Thank you Caroline. I knew I was lucky for each day we had together. And I welcomed introducing her to strangers not as a trophy but because it thrilled me to watch her engage others. Now it comforts me in my grief. 🙏🏻🪷
Cancer as a blessing 🤢🤮. Yes that’s the worst.
Claire are you a Brit or an Aussie? I could tell from you humour (sp?). Or do you need to turn off your auto-incorrect? I’ve spent lots of time teaching in both and always felt more understood and appreciated there than in the USA. I think it’s the humour and irreverence. That’s the blessing and the strength along with lots of love.
It stays with me as well.
Buckets Billie, buckets.
We all want a love like this, a life like this. I will inhabit today more deeply, for Fran. Thank you.
Oh Jenny. That’s so lovely. Thank you so much.
“Brilliant writing,” said the reader, while sobbing.
This is as vivid and moving a portrait as I've read in a long time. How could it not be, when it was written by someone as gifted as Irwin, about a woman who clearly merited every word? I love Fran, of course. And like the exterminator, I find myself missing her now that this beautiful essay is finished.
I’m so glad you do Debra. She earned it with her courage and her kindness.
Here I am, a 41 year old woman worn by disease and wondering inside, "why me?" Now I have Fran to remember and look up-to. Thank you for sharing your life and love with us.
Oh Reema. Don’t give yourself a hard time. You deserve all the love you can give yourself. Reread the “takeaway”.
Thank you Irwin. I was smiling through tears reading about how wherever Fran went, she ended up helping more than being helped. That's a legacy. A beautiful legacy. Love and prayers to you. May you be supported as you endure the loss of a partner like that.
Marvelous writing. I felt that I knew Fran, and I liked her. I am so sorry for the loss of that wonderful woman, but sharing this essay with us is a gift and I thank you for that.
🙏🏻🪷
Such a poignant, beautiful piece. These sentences struck at my heart as I recognize the feeling so well: "The “firsts” approach like diving WWII Japanese kamikaze planes, unexpected and out of nowhere, dreadful in the pain they can inflict." Brilliant. And, we all love Fran now.
I’m so glad you do.
I have a new life goal: be more like Fran. Thank you for this piece.
Don’t try Val. Be more Val.
Sarah—like I said to Val. Just be more Sarah
What she said to the doctor- and you have to do this everyday. How does one have such empathy? Incredible woman. Beautiful writing. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like her memory is already such a blessing.
Thanks Susan. I don’t have the answer. And I haven’t learned that trick as yet. I’m working on it.
Touching beyond words. Knowing Frances’s measure, we also know yours.
So well said, Alberta. So we’ll said. 🙏🏻🪷