Catherine Texier pushes back against society’s dated ideas about older women, claiming her place among those who are determined to remain vibrant and relevant in the last decades of their lives.
“ The obvious question I didn’t ask was: why didn’t the brothers hire a private nurse themselves, paid out of their own pocket until mom’s house was sold?”
While *they* may have been able to afford it (and I’m in awe, because I’m from a tax bracket that couldn’t), they probably knew what we all know, and which is why I’ve been living at my 86 year old mother’s house for the last 18 months providing an informal “assisted living” situation for her: you just can’t trust strangers with your parents, as there really aren’t that many people (even at the “best” nursing homes) out there who are doing that job out of a love or even natural competence for it. They’re mostly (obv not all) in it for the money and don’t like their jobs, and are often overworked, unless you’re paying them really really well (which I gather not many people do).
And then there’s the personality of the patient: my mother happens to be so difficult due to personality disorders and what I’d generously call “cultural issues,” that it’s unlikely anyone would show up for work once she began her antics. This might help explain. The human factor. It throws a wrench into all rational plans.
Catherine is one of the best writers of her generation. She is someone I admire a lot, and this essay was wonderful. If you haven't done so, find her books and read them!
Beautiful piece, Catherine! You are more than an inspiration, a beacon of wonder and love for all that is this exciting performance of the ongoing adventures in a life aware. You look fabulous, right up there with Gloria and Jane, and I don't mean in years, but as an inspiring, creative woman. We recently sold our apartment on 7th Street, so no longer part of our 7th Street Clan, and after 40 years there, I will miss it, but shifting to upstate life is not so much an adjustment, but an adventure in relaxing, and moving forward with personal creative goals, while leaving some of the things holding me back behind. At 65 this all feels terrific, and I still color my hair! Thank you.
Please keep me on the Salon List--I will be coming into the city for work and fun, so I hope to see you sometime, and of course it would be amazing to have the Salon up and running.
Full of truths and inspiration. I am 87, married for 13 years now to a gorgeous Russian retired scientist in her vibrant 70s. I am finding that the ending can be much better than the beginning. I relocated to Moscow two years ago, and I am constantly amazed by my being here. Thank you for your beautiful meditation.
Thanks for this truly inspiring essay, Catherine...so much to love here, especially the generational aspects that resonate for us without end.
I was so sorry to learn of Cindy Joseph's passing...another inspiring beauty!
I'm 75 this year and my hair reaches my butt. It's still thick and dark brown but I add red streaks for fun. Sometimes I wear it in braids and can almost hear other women tsking that women over the age of 20 should never wear braids. I wear Johnny Was because I'm boho through and through...have been for over 50 years. Never could master the cool, chic, sophisticated look I admire in some of my elegant friends. I just went through a month of fretting about my face, looked into surgery for my hooded eyes...chickened out. Now I'm glad. Hooded eyes have a certain warmth...think Charlotte Rampling, Lauren Bacall. And you! I love your eyes!! They make me want to know you. He also wanted to raise my eyebrows. I may be surprised by some of what life has thrown at me (at all of us!), but I sure as hell don't want to look like I'm perpetually startled. Your essay inspires me to stay true to who I am. Infinitely more important than my looks, my creativity has been flourishing in direct proportion to my age...I make art every day and have finished a memoir and have just begun sending out personal essays to get some credibility under my belt. A lot of us improve with age.
Looking forward to reading everything you've written!
Thank you so much Barbara!
P.S. Just had to add the word "sexy" to my description of hooded eyes! ❤️
“ The obvious question I didn’t ask was: why didn’t the brothers hire a private nurse themselves, paid out of their own pocket until mom’s house was sold?”
While *they* may have been able to afford it (and I’m in awe, because I’m from a tax bracket that couldn’t), they probably knew what we all know, and which is why I’ve been living at my 86 year old mother’s house for the last 18 months providing an informal “assisted living” situation for her: you just can’t trust strangers with your parents, as there really aren’t that many people (even at the “best” nursing homes) out there who are doing that job out of a love or even natural competence for it. They’re mostly (obv not all) in it for the money and don’t like their jobs, and are often overworked, unless you’re paying them really really well (which I gather not many people do).
And then there’s the personality of the patient: my mother happens to be so difficult due to personality disorders and what I’d generously call “cultural issues,” that it’s unlikely anyone would show up for work once she began her antics. This might help explain. The human factor. It throws a wrench into all rational plans.
Catherine is one of the best writers of her generation. She is someone I admire a lot, and this essay was wonderful. If you haven't done so, find her books and read them!
I went to the publication party of her novel "Love Me Tender" on June 11, 1987 and have the diary entry to prove it: https://thoughtcatalog.com/richard-grayson/2020/02/a-writers-diary-entries-from-mid-june-1987/
Oh my God! Thank you SO much Richard Grayson!
Thank you for this essay, I felt the build of momentum as I read it this evening by the fire.
Stay sexy baby.
Warmest regards
Jennie
Thank you so much!
That was a fantastic read. I wholeheartedly agree even when my body doesn't. I'm 75, so what?
Just finished Breakup...couldn't put it down! ❤️
Beautiful piece, Catherine! You are more than an inspiration, a beacon of wonder and love for all that is this exciting performance of the ongoing adventures in a life aware. You look fabulous, right up there with Gloria and Jane, and I don't mean in years, but as an inspiring, creative woman. We recently sold our apartment on 7th Street, so no longer part of our 7th Street Clan, and after 40 years there, I will miss it, but shifting to upstate life is not so much an adjustment, but an adventure in relaxing, and moving forward with personal creative goals, while leaving some of the things holding me back behind. At 65 this all feels terrific, and I still color my hair! Thank you.
Thanks so much Emily! We'll miss you an 7th street - and at the next Salon, whenever we can have another one!
Please keep me on the Salon List--I will be coming into the city for work and fun, so I hope to see you sometime, and of course it would be amazing to have the Salon up and running.
Definitely!
Full of truths and inspiration. I am 87, married for 13 years now to a gorgeous Russian retired scientist in her vibrant 70s. I am finding that the ending can be much better than the beginning. I relocated to Moscow two years ago, and I am constantly amazed by my being here. Thank you for your beautiful meditation.
I absolutely loved this! what a smart lovely woman. But I have to say... I love my gray. thank You! (I'm 75)
God, what a fabulous, inspirational essay!
> And our goodbye to her was very different. We reminisced about her adventures, the crazy times with her. We laughed and cried and drank rosé.
Fingers crossed, my end of life is just as rosy. ;-)
Ah this is such a wonderful essay! Thank you for what you do
Thanks for this truly inspiring essay, Catherine...so much to love here, especially the generational aspects that resonate for us without end.
I was so sorry to learn of Cindy Joseph's passing...another inspiring beauty!
I'm 75 this year and my hair reaches my butt. It's still thick and dark brown but I add red streaks for fun. Sometimes I wear it in braids and can almost hear other women tsking that women over the age of 20 should never wear braids. I wear Johnny Was because I'm boho through and through...have been for over 50 years. Never could master the cool, chic, sophisticated look I admire in some of my elegant friends. I just went through a month of fretting about my face, looked into surgery for my hooded eyes...chickened out. Now I'm glad. Hooded eyes have a certain warmth...think Charlotte Rampling, Lauren Bacall. And you! I love your eyes!! They make me want to know you. He also wanted to raise my eyebrows. I may be surprised by some of what life has thrown at me (at all of us!), but I sure as hell don't want to look like I'm perpetually startled. Your essay inspires me to stay true to who I am. Infinitely more important than my looks, my creativity has been flourishing in direct proportion to my age...I make art every day and have finished a memoir and have just begun sending out personal essays to get some credibility under my belt. A lot of us improve with age.
Looking forward to reading everything you've written!
Following you on Instagram (I don't do Twitter).
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much!