Excellent. I can feel the emotion you poured into this post (even if I am a male). I now sport a ponytail tied behind a mostly bald head. Here is a short acknowledgement (in part) of the reason behind the ponytail. I have complained every month, for over forty years, about not getting my money’s worth at the barber shop. With two sides of hair thin enough to see through, going to the barber became a short-lived luxury. By the time I was comfortable in his chair, he chimed, “next.” The pandemic taught me to become self-sufficient and to take my hair’s length into my own hands.
The mirror and I are now best of friends. A snip here, a clump there, a brush stroke or two, and my shiny dome is encased by trimmed sides. Oh yes, I should mention that I am sporting a shoulder-length pony tail.
I'm another guy who stopped going to the hair stylist during the pandemic and so far haven't gone back. Now that Covid is not spreading and I finally got a very mild case recently, I suppose I could go back, but not so far. For some weird reason, I have little gray hair (unlike my younger brothers, one of whom dyes his hair) and my hair is now as long as it was when I was in college in the early 1970s.
This is where I feel like Rebecca: I am making a political statement with my hair, just as I was doing 50 years ago.
It's probably not best to use hair as a political statement, but in a tribute to the actor Treat Williams, I just rewatched the movie version of "Hair" and you can see people's hair was very political and maybe still is.
(Black people, and especially black women, can say more about this than a white old man can.)
Yes. There's a whole piece to be written about how the pandemic changed people's approach to haircuts and styling, and also the political implications of different styles.
Such a good reminder of how (and why) we marched in 2016 💕in our pink hats. And such wisdom about women's hair. I have always called them "my Joan of Arc" years when I wore my hair half an inch long: no grooming required, ready for battle, and martyring myself to the cause (over burdened working mother and wife). Now in my 60s, my hair is (finally)it's natural colour and I get a good cut a few times a year. It is not lost on me that the time I take to groom my longish hair now is a statement of self love and care. Of putting myself first, at last🥰
As a person with no hair (let it go; it never gave me a moment’s pleasure), I believe you are right about style of any kind’s determining who we are or want to be. Your comments are entirely on the money. As for those key ring owners, I fervently wish the ring’s fantasized result could be turned back on THEM!
My hair has been every length between very, very short to the middle of my back. I think I have always harbored the secret belief that changing my hair would change what ever was bothering me. The personal is political in so many ways.
"smiling like assassins" wow how great. This piece wonderfully connects how even perfectly performing femininity won't protect or elevate the femme in the patriarchy.
Sitting in Starbucks in Scottsdale, looked around and... yuck. There are only 2 cuts: long with “casual” curl and the short blunt. Nothing else. Every single mans hair is his own.
This piece is so fascinating for me on two levels, political and personal. (1) Hair has always been political: fundamentalist Muslim women must cover their hair; Orthodox Jewish women must cover their hair (often with wigs) after they marry; some fundamentalist Christian sects require their women to cover their hair. What's up with that? What is it about hair that makes the men of these cultures think/feel they must not be allowed to see it? (2) I hit 50 in 1992, almost the opposite political moment, and I remember marching through New York City streets after Clinton won the presidency (after 12 years of Republicans) and noticing all the 50-ish and 50+ women around me and how great we looked, not "old" at all. I felt we were redefining what "old" meant and looked like. (3) As for my own hair, for the past 20 years I've been cutting it short in the summer and letting it grow to should length until the next summer, not a political statement but a comfort statement. About color? That's a whole other saga and worth an essay on its own.
Ah, this is an idea! Maybe that's how I'll do it this winter. Since I am too broke to go get my hair cut, I have to do all my trims, and it'd be nice to take the winter off!
In the 60s I had long curly hair that flowed down to my shoulders. At the time, it was a statement about which side I was on. Now that I have a partial covering of hair, I cut it every once in a while.
I have two grandsons, one has his hair cut regularly, the other hardly ever. It's not a thing anymore. My wife hates how 90% of the women on TV news have their hair long and curling down past their shoulders. Why is that a thing?
a friend got me a free haircut in october with a famous hairstylist, and as it happened, it resulted in my no longer having Inca bangs and braids, a look I really did like, but who was I to say no to the honor of getting my hair cut? My hair grows fast, so I took the plunge and didn't mind the surprise. I planned on letting it grow back out into a shag, and then back into my long braids and bangs again, but realized I couldn't stand the grow-out phase (maybe I'll save that for the next quarantine/shutdown). So, my hair just stayed short. I have to admit it's comfortable, and i like the relative androgyny of it. But you know what bugs me? All the women older than me who seem relieved that I have finally gotten rid of my bangs and braids! They're all overcomplimenting me, practically waving their eyebrows in approval, and it's getting on my nerves so bad, ha ha! It's like, yeah, I know, it wasn't their idea of dignified middle age (I am 58), but I never wanted to grow old "gracefully" -- I wanted to grow old looking insane and scary to men! Anyway, so now I have this "dignified" haircut that older women approve of, and I try to remind myself that I approved of it first.
It takes a lot less time to dry! Very convenient! And my head finally fits in my hats! (I have such thick hair that my hairdressers invariably "joke" about charging me double. Runs in the family. But before you get jealous, so does alopecia areata, under stress).
Funny, I am writing a piece now about being "middle aged" and how I still feel and style myself more like a "girl," and see myself that way. I don't see your new cut as dignified middle age. I see it as kind of "tom boy" — still like a kind of kid.
Seriously my 73 y.o. cousin on a limited income offered to help me pay to keep my hair this way! 😂 all this approval is offensive! Heheheh. I kind of see my haircut as when Al Pacino or Frank Langella were looking slightly androgynous themselves in the early 70s
Excellent. I can feel the emotion you poured into this post (even if I am a male). I now sport a ponytail tied behind a mostly bald head. Here is a short acknowledgement (in part) of the reason behind the ponytail. I have complained every month, for over forty years, about not getting my money’s worth at the barber shop. With two sides of hair thin enough to see through, going to the barber became a short-lived luxury. By the time I was comfortable in his chair, he chimed, “next.” The pandemic taught me to become self-sufficient and to take my hair’s length into my own hands.
The mirror and I are now best of friends. A snip here, a clump there, a brush stroke or two, and my shiny dome is encased by trimmed sides. Oh yes, I should mention that I am sporting a shoulder-length pony tail.
I'm another guy who stopped going to the hair stylist during the pandemic and so far haven't gone back. Now that Covid is not spreading and I finally got a very mild case recently, I suppose I could go back, but not so far. For some weird reason, I have little gray hair (unlike my younger brothers, one of whom dyes his hair) and my hair is now as long as it was when I was in college in the early 1970s.
This is where I feel like Rebecca: I am making a political statement with my hair, just as I was doing 50 years ago.
It's probably not best to use hair as a political statement, but in a tribute to the actor Treat Williams, I just rewatched the movie version of "Hair" and you can see people's hair was very political and maybe still is.
(Black people, and especially black women, can say more about this than a white old man can.)
Yes. There's a whole piece to be written about how the pandemic changed people's approach to haircuts and styling, and also the political implications of different styles.
Such a good reminder of how (and why) we marched in 2016 💕in our pink hats. And such wisdom about women's hair. I have always called them "my Joan of Arc" years when I wore my hair half an inch long: no grooming required, ready for battle, and martyring myself to the cause (over burdened working mother and wife). Now in my 60s, my hair is (finally)it's natural colour and I get a good cut a few times a year. It is not lost on me that the time I take to groom my longish hair now is a statement of self love and care. Of putting myself first, at last🥰
As a person with no hair (let it go; it never gave me a moment’s pleasure), I believe you are right about style of any kind’s determining who we are or want to be. Your comments are entirely on the money. As for those key ring owners, I fervently wish the ring’s fantasized result could be turned back on THEM!
My hair has been every length between very, very short to the middle of my back. I think I have always harbored the secret belief that changing my hair would change what ever was bothering me. The personal is political in so many ways.
Yes, thank you. identity crises in worlds of perpetual urgent crisis
( in case of emergency break glass ) ( attempting to stay conscious inside unconsciousness : waking dreams )
What a cool bio! Love your style.
Ah Rebecca - so many nails on so many heads. We were born the same year, so this really resonated.
"smiling like assassins" wow how great. This piece wonderfully connects how even perfectly performing femininity won't protect or elevate the femme in the patriarchy.
Beautifully done.
Thank you!
" I was going to own 50, not feel diminished by it."
Amen, sister!!
Sitting in Starbucks in Scottsdale, looked around and... yuck. There are only 2 cuts: long with “casual” curl and the short blunt. Nothing else. Every single mans hair is his own.
All relatable. Thanks.
This piece is so fascinating for me on two levels, political and personal. (1) Hair has always been political: fundamentalist Muslim women must cover their hair; Orthodox Jewish women must cover their hair (often with wigs) after they marry; some fundamentalist Christian sects require their women to cover their hair. What's up with that? What is it about hair that makes the men of these cultures think/feel they must not be allowed to see it? (2) I hit 50 in 1992, almost the opposite political moment, and I remember marching through New York City streets after Clinton won the presidency (after 12 years of Republicans) and noticing all the 50-ish and 50+ women around me and how great we looked, not "old" at all. I felt we were redefining what "old" meant and looked like. (3) As for my own hair, for the past 20 years I've been cutting it short in the summer and letting it grow to should length until the next summer, not a political statement but a comfort statement. About color? That's a whole other saga and worth an essay on its own.
Ah, this is an idea! Maybe that's how I'll do it this winter. Since I am too broke to go get my hair cut, I have to do all my trims, and it'd be nice to take the winter off!
This nearly broke me. Thank you.
Gorgeous piece! It articulates the complexity of outrage in this time when there is so much to be mad about.
Thanks for sending Rebecca this way, Sara! <3
In the 60s I had long curly hair that flowed down to my shoulders. At the time, it was a statement about which side I was on. Now that I have a partial covering of hair, I cut it every once in a while.
I have two grandsons, one has his hair cut regularly, the other hardly ever. It's not a thing anymore. My wife hates how 90% of the women on TV news have their hair long and curling down past their shoulders. Why is that a thing?
a friend got me a free haircut in october with a famous hairstylist, and as it happened, it resulted in my no longer having Inca bangs and braids, a look I really did like, but who was I to say no to the honor of getting my hair cut? My hair grows fast, so I took the plunge and didn't mind the surprise. I planned on letting it grow back out into a shag, and then back into my long braids and bangs again, but realized I couldn't stand the grow-out phase (maybe I'll save that for the next quarantine/shutdown). So, my hair just stayed short. I have to admit it's comfortable, and i like the relative androgyny of it. But you know what bugs me? All the women older than me who seem relieved that I have finally gotten rid of my bangs and braids! They're all overcomplimenting me, practically waving their eyebrows in approval, and it's getting on my nerves so bad, ha ha! It's like, yeah, I know, it wasn't their idea of dignified middle age (I am 58), but I never wanted to grow old "gracefully" -- I wanted to grow old looking insane and scary to men! Anyway, so now I have this "dignified" haircut that older women approve of, and I try to remind myself that I approved of it first.
It takes a lot less time to dry! Very convenient! And my head finally fits in my hats! (I have such thick hair that my hairdressers invariably "joke" about charging me double. Runs in the family. But before you get jealous, so does alopecia areata, under stress).
Funny, I am writing a piece now about being "middle aged" and how I still feel and style myself more like a "girl," and see myself that way. I don't see your new cut as dignified middle age. I see it as kind of "tom boy" — still like a kind of kid.
Seriously my 73 y.o. cousin on a limited income offered to help me pay to keep my hair this way! 😂 all this approval is offensive! Heheheh. I kind of see my haircut as when Al Pacino or Frank Langella were looking slightly androgynous themselves in the early 70s