Carolyn, thank you so much for reading and responding! My children are nearly 60, so I doubt if that group would be in their search. But I appreciate your appraisal. E.
I think the kids may find themselves with a labor saved. This wonderful first person essay has got the goods to attract a long line of potential suitors. Wahooooo!!!
I second that idea. I am 67 and this personal essay speaks for me precisely. The online dating does not seem to be the better approach. Substack is replete with intelligent and educated people, from all walks of life, and I suspect it would offer a lot of potential. Thank you for publishing this piece.
Elaine, you are fabulous in every way. Adorable too. I'm 78, widowed 4 years, 46 years of a terrific marriage to a politically-liberal lawyer who spoke grammatically-correct English. That was a good fit for me. But as you mentioned, each year the potential male partner field narrows to just about nothing. I decided that what I wanted most of all was affection and kindness. A gentle man. I hired a contractor to build a house. He was conservative and spoke less-than-perfect English. But he was one of the most kind men I'd ever met. He was also physically fit, attractive, muscular, tanned and looked right at my heart with his warm smiles. When the construction job was over, I decided to let our friendship move to a new level. We've been 'partners' and lovers now for 3 years. We give each other 1 minute maximum to 'talk politics' and I bite my tongue when he uses double negatives. He smiles when I snore. He buys me the NY Times every day, feeding me my liberal reading apptitite. He adores me to the core. I've been glad I opened my horizons up because now I have an adorable man to say good morning to, to hold hands with and who keeps my big garden in perfect order. Flexibility has been key to my happiness.
Karen, your romance reminds me of my marriage to my second husband. I've written often about our difference in income, education, and religion. But it was the things we had in common that kept us happily wed. You can likely find it on the web.
Elaine, you are such a fascinating bright and lovely person....your mind and heart are open and the right person will appear on your mutual radar. I look forward to reading your posts. Is that a website you have or perhaps I can just type in your name and find your posts.
Karen, just Google my name snd you should find some. Look especially for the one that appeared in the Washington Post. Also HuffPost and Harper’s Bazaar. Thanks for the opportunity for PR!
I have had disastrous experiences from online dating and it is because there is no context. When friends or family introduce someone or remind you of someone you knew long ago, then there's context. Online dating is the equivalent of staring at a phone in the elevator, like you said. I'm going back to the "ole fashioned" way which is meeting someone through someone you know. Fuck that online shit. And by the way, Joey and Faith need to be looking for a man in his sixties, because that will be the only person who can keep up with you. Thank you for a beautifully written post.
I'm voting for a retired professor or academic. Get yourself to one of the daytime public lectures and you will be sure to find an intelligent and curious retired friend or two!
So... questions. Have a consulting session? Advisor? What’s your ideal age range? Where would you like to live? One or more places? Should he cook? Play the piano? Violin? Take pictures? Be a father? Grandfather? Write? Any favorite movies? Like to sail, swim, climb or walk, ski? Sleepless nights, separate rooms? Dancing - ball room? Kids and grandchildren visits? Charitable interests? Social preferences? Cocktail party type? Politics? Vaccinated? Favorite things? Vacation spots? Columnists? MSNBC’s best? Wearing make up? Dye your hair? Permanent? Perfume? Previously married? Mtc..
So many questions, S.B. Let's see, guy has to be younger. I fear that anyone older than I may not be able to keep up. I live in Chicago, but I'm flexible. A cook would be amazing. I have a keyboard. I've written about how I only will play without an audience. Swim three times a week, but with fins. Only learned how when I was 80. You can find that essay on the web. Love kids and grandkids. Democrat all the way. Not cocktail party type, homebody. All vacations. MSNBC. See photos. Hair gray. Some makeup. I'm exhausted. Need a nap.
Jul 25, 2023·edited Jul 25, 2023Liked by Sari Botton
Well the old-fashion ways don't exist anymore, no more church socials and dances and where else? I'm 66 and gay, my partner died in 1993 and I raised our 5-year-old son myself, 2 boy grandchildren, one gay with no ideas. Church socials were always the way many found sweethearts but they don't exist anymore. Social media has replaced all that. I'm foolish according to my friends trying to find a male compaion to share my 3 homes, one in Barcelona, and sailboat like women did in England during the late 1940s and 1950s sharing their lives and daily activities together. I haven't given up on the idea but they call it my Don Quiote quest. I think you're following Alice down the hole trying the old-fashion way too. Maybe we should form a pod-cast "60s, 70s & 80s looking for any sexual orientation sweethearts."
My kids are nonbinary. They've written a TV show on Amazon, "Transparent," and a musical, "A Transparent Musical" that premiered in LA with plans for Broadway. Don't give up!
Oh Robert, so close… Thanks for reading and responding.
Sandra, you’ll have to check with my kids first. Thanks for reading and responding!
Hi Lawrence, sounds reasonable to me. Thanks for reading and musing. You sound like a catch.
E.
Hi Martine, I appreciate your reading and responding and I love your confidence!
E.
Carolyn, thank you so much for reading and responding! My children are nearly 60, so I doubt if that group would be in their search. But I appreciate your appraisal. E.
Hi Nancy, thanks so much for reading and responding! You can also go to my website, elainesoloway.com to read more essays, some on similar subjects.
Dear Barbara, thank you so much for responding and for your very positive reactions. Much appreciated!
Thank you so much, Susan!
Thank you, Donna! Let us know how your quest goes.
I'd love to read a follow-up essay 6 months or a year from now....
Jodi, don't get your hopes up.
Elaine
Oooh, great idea.
I think the kids may find themselves with a labor saved. This wonderful first person essay has got the goods to attract a long line of potential suitors. Wahooooo!!!
<3 PS Every now and then, the idea of "Oldster Personals" floats to the top of my head...
I second that idea. I am 67 and this personal essay speaks for me precisely. The online dating does not seem to be the better approach. Substack is replete with intelligent and educated people, from all walks of life, and I suspect it would offer a lot of potential. Thank you for publishing this piece.
Thank you, Jorge for reading and commenting!
How does one find a partner on substack? Are u available?
Sí! 😊
:)
A great idea
Love your confidence!
Elaine
Oh Queen, I love your confidence! Thanks for reading!
Elaine, you are fabulous in every way. Adorable too. I'm 78, widowed 4 years, 46 years of a terrific marriage to a politically-liberal lawyer who spoke grammatically-correct English. That was a good fit for me. But as you mentioned, each year the potential male partner field narrows to just about nothing. I decided that what I wanted most of all was affection and kindness. A gentle man. I hired a contractor to build a house. He was conservative and spoke less-than-perfect English. But he was one of the most kind men I'd ever met. He was also physically fit, attractive, muscular, tanned and looked right at my heart with his warm smiles. When the construction job was over, I decided to let our friendship move to a new level. We've been 'partners' and lovers now for 3 years. We give each other 1 minute maximum to 'talk politics' and I bite my tongue when he uses double negatives. He smiles when I snore. He buys me the NY Times every day, feeding me my liberal reading apptitite. He adores me to the core. I've been glad I opened my horizons up because now I have an adorable man to say good morning to, to hold hands with and who keeps my big garden in perfect order. Flexibility has been key to my happiness.
Karen, your romance reminds me of my marriage to my second husband. I've written often about our difference in income, education, and religion. But it was the things we had in common that kept us happily wed. You can likely find it on the web.
Elaine, you are such a fascinating bright and lovely person....your mind and heart are open and the right person will appear on your mutual radar. I look forward to reading your posts. Is that a website you have or perhaps I can just type in your name and find your posts.
Karen, just Google my name snd you should find some. Look especially for the one that appeared in the Washington Post. Also HuffPost and Harper’s Bazaar. Thanks for the opportunity for PR!
I love this. <3
Wow ! How wonderful you had eyes to see into your man’s heart.
I applaud you for seeing what truly counts in life… authentically what matters most.
A kind and loving heart 💕
I have had disastrous experiences from online dating and it is because there is no context. When friends or family introduce someone or remind you of someone you knew long ago, then there's context. Online dating is the equivalent of staring at a phone in the elevator, like you said. I'm going back to the "ole fashioned" way which is meeting someone through someone you know. Fuck that online shit. And by the way, Joey and Faith need to be looking for a man in his sixties, because that will be the only person who can keep up with you. Thank you for a beautifully written post.
Alas, Carolyn, my kids are nearing 60. I think they's go higher. But thanks for your praise!
I'm voting for a retired professor or academic. Get yourself to one of the daytime public lectures and you will be sure to find an intelligent and curious retired friend or two!
Love this idea! Thanks, Gloria.
So... questions. Have a consulting session? Advisor? What’s your ideal age range? Where would you like to live? One or more places? Should he cook? Play the piano? Violin? Take pictures? Be a father? Grandfather? Write? Any favorite movies? Like to sail, swim, climb or walk, ski? Sleepless nights, separate rooms? Dancing - ball room? Kids and grandchildren visits? Charitable interests? Social preferences? Cocktail party type? Politics? Vaccinated? Favorite things? Vacation spots? Columnists? MSNBC’s best? Wearing make up? Dye your hair? Permanent? Perfume? Previously married? Mtc..
So many questions, S.B. Let's see, guy has to be younger. I fear that anyone older than I may not be able to keep up. I live in Chicago, but I'm flexible. A cook would be amazing. I have a keyboard. I've written about how I only will play without an audience. Swim three times a week, but with fins. Only learned how when I was 80. You can find that essay on the web. Love kids and grandkids. Democrat all the way. Not cocktail party type, homebody. All vacations. MSNBC. See photos. Hair gray. Some makeup. I'm exhausted. Need a nap.
U of Chicago. I slept at ... and environs
1365 East 60th for 6.5 years
Sunny Gym near
1362 East 59th
Matthews 417, Burton Judson, 1 yr.
1417 East 56th for several
5552 South Kenwood for a couple
The Standard Club pool for lunchtime
The Point
Well the old-fashion ways don't exist anymore, no more church socials and dances and where else? I'm 66 and gay, my partner died in 1993 and I raised our 5-year-old son myself, 2 boy grandchildren, one gay with no ideas. Church socials were always the way many found sweethearts but they don't exist anymore. Social media has replaced all that. I'm foolish according to my friends trying to find a male compaion to share my 3 homes, one in Barcelona, and sailboat like women did in England during the late 1940s and 1950s sharing their lives and daily activities together. I haven't given up on the idea but they call it my Don Quiote quest. I think you're following Alice down the hole trying the old-fashion way too. Maybe we should form a pod-cast "60s, 70s & 80s looking for any sexual orientation sweethearts."
My kids are nonbinary. They've written a TV show on Amazon, "Transparent," and a musical, "A Transparent Musical" that premiered in LA with plans for Broadway. Don't give up!