This Substack is so powerful and insightful. I just celebrated 15 years sober. I have my writing career back. I go to 3 to 4 meetings a week. During the Global Pandemic I hosted weekly meetings in my driveway with the garage door open when it rained. I now have a life second to none.
This series is my new favorite thing on Substack. Aging and sobriety - BRING IT. Also, Love Boat was my favorite thing to watch when home sick from school 🚢
So glad to know you like this series, Kerri! Yes, I love looking at the intersection of these two types of longevity. (AND I loved the Love Boat. Stayed up on Saturday nights as a kid to catch it.)
This is Kirie and I'm with Kerri. Would love to read more of these. I have been to many of the LA meetings she talks about. We probably know some of the same people.
I loved reading this, at 85 years old. I’ve gone to Al-Anon for 25 years. I met a woman who became one of my best friends; she’d been sober 15 or more years; I invited her to Al-Anon. I write this to honor her life. She died January 27 of last year after a full and happy life since she became sober, some 30+ years ago. Thanks for your writing and opening this fond memory for me.
Do the voices come from parents or other adults? For women, from "society" telling us we're no good, or only good for "one thing," as boys used to say? I use a combination of Al-Anon's Courage to Change - the gold-covered one - and Pema Chodron - and a bit of Byron Katie and, yeah, meditation and prayer and walking in the forest to quiet and quell those voices.
Always thought mine came from my mother. I grew up with her telling me never to think too well of myself -- so I never did. I think it was what her generation of Depression-era women often told their daughters.
The sober oldster interviews are this sober oldster’s morning meditation. West Hollywood meeting humor has helped me plenty when I take “my” Bay Area recovery too seriously! Thank you Sari for your service, hehe.
Thank you, Claudia, for being so candid about your AA experience! The program definitely saved my life, but as an anxious introvert, I used to beat myself up for being uncomfortable with speaking at meetings. Like you, I spent years believing I wasn't working a good enough program because I hadn't been transformed into a vivacious stand-up comedian who never worried about having a panic attack if she got called on to share.
When I got sober years ago, I shared at a young people's meeting at the University of Washington that I had to get up in front of a class of thirty college students the next day and, uh, teach. And I could not do that sober. After the meeting, a guy said, "Do you have a backpack?" Yeah. Of course. "Well, when you walk in to teach, put the backpack on the table and invite your higher power (whatever that means to you) to teach the class." And I asked the Goddess, as I understand her, to teach that class and thus onward for decades. Same when asked to speak. After Covid lockdown, though, I initially had problems even being in the same room with other people, but I shared that I was shaking, and they said "Me too!" That's how the fellowship, at its best, works for me.
Such a smooth read. I loved especially, the line "Where the fuck have YOU been?" It made me laugh.
I super dig this. I love a salty sober babe.
Another great piece. I always end up feeling like I know this person ❤️
I know?! Same here
I am wildly applauding Lonow's right-out-there, no-sugar-coating, unapologetic spirit.
This Substack is so powerful and insightful. I just celebrated 15 years sober. I have my writing career back. I go to 3 to 4 meetings a week. During the Global Pandemic I hosted weekly meetings in my driveway with the garage door open when it rained. I now have a life second to none.
I'm so glad you're enjoying this, Chris, and that you have that. Kudos on 15 years.
This series is my new favorite thing on Substack. Aging and sobriety - BRING IT. Also, Love Boat was my favorite thing to watch when home sick from school 🚢
So glad to know you like this series, Kerri! Yes, I love looking at the intersection of these two types of longevity. (AND I loved the Love Boat. Stayed up on Saturday nights as a kid to catch it.)
This is Kirie and I'm with Kerri. Would love to read more of these. I have been to many of the LA meetings she talks about. We probably know some of the same people.
Nice. Check out the series, which has several other interviews: https://oldster.substack.com/t/ask-a-sober-oldster-series
I've been reading this since you started it, but it was fun to re-read again just now and get the same tingle of acceptance! Such a great idea.
"Where the fuck have YOU been" might need to be the title for Claudia's memoir. Wow, I loved this so much, so inspirational!
I loved reading this, at 85 years old. I’ve gone to Al-Anon for 25 years. I met a woman who became one of my best friends; she’d been sober 15 or more years; I invited her to Al-Anon. I write this to honor her life. She died January 27 of last year after a full and happy life since she became sober, some 30+ years ago. Thanks for your writing and opening this fond memory for me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for remembering your friend here. 💕
“The chubbiness became a problem until I found the perfect way to stay at my goal weight: cocaine.”
the sort of logical thinking only an addict could relate to - confusing the “solution” with the problem itself. and BOY can I relate...
What a funny and touching interview. Makes me wonder where those vicious voices come from, telling us we're no good.
Do the voices come from parents or other adults? For women, from "society" telling us we're no good, or only good for "one thing," as boys used to say? I use a combination of Al-Anon's Courage to Change - the gold-covered one - and Pema Chodron - and a bit of Byron Katie and, yeah, meditation and prayer and walking in the forest to quiet and quell those voices.
Always thought mine came from my mother. I grew up with her telling me never to think too well of myself -- so I never did. I think it was what her generation of Depression-era women often told their daughters.
Funny and astringent, I love the way she talks.
Me, too.
Diane, the word astringent is spot on! Thank you, made me smile.
The sober oldster interviews are this sober oldster’s morning meditation. West Hollywood meeting humor has helped me plenty when I take “my” Bay Area recovery too seriously! Thank you Sari for your service, hehe.
<3
Thank you, Claudia, for being so candid about your AA experience! The program definitely saved my life, but as an anxious introvert, I used to beat myself up for being uncomfortable with speaking at meetings. Like you, I spent years believing I wasn't working a good enough program because I hadn't been transformed into a vivacious stand-up comedian who never worried about having a panic attack if she got called on to share.
When I got sober years ago, I shared at a young people's meeting at the University of Washington that I had to get up in front of a class of thirty college students the next day and, uh, teach. And I could not do that sober. After the meeting, a guy said, "Do you have a backpack?" Yeah. Of course. "Well, when you walk in to teach, put the backpack on the table and invite your higher power (whatever that means to you) to teach the class." And I asked the Goddess, as I understand her, to teach that class and thus onward for decades. Same when asked to speak. After Covid lockdown, though, I initially had problems even being in the same room with other people, but I shared that I was shaking, and they said "Me too!" That's how the fellowship, at its best, works for me.
I love this. Thanks for sharing it.
Sari, you’ve touched on something with this series that’s so important and life-affirming. Thanks so much.
Awww, thank YOU. I must give credit to A.J. Daulerio, too.
Those voices in my head. Killers of anything that’s good in life. Much better now. And so glad you are too. Thanks for being so open.
Love your story. Aren't we the lucky ones? Jesus.