Giirrlllll! You knew what you were doing by wearing those skin-tight leather pants ;) I love the power in her voice throughout this essay - she's serious about sobriety and lives like her life depends on it. Because it does.
Very powerful essay! Thank you for another moving Q&A - I love this format.
My partner met me after 8 years of sobriety and never fails to remind me how lucky I am!! I do feel like the luckiest girl in the world, she's 25 years my senior- and the best thing in my life. She's in love with a "normie."
"So I am working on trying to feel and act like a grownup. Who would think I would not feel like a grownup at age 66? ". I am 84 and still telling myself to act like a grown up! But then again, what is a grownup really like? Someone who has all the answers? Not going to happen😀
What a wonderful read Anne. Are you on Substack? I relate to much. I'm 68, a friend of Bill, and becoming aware of past trauma (PTSD) has also freed me to make clearer decisions that do not compromise my self-esteem.
Thank you for this. So many people fear that without substance abuse, they wouldn't be fun, or creative, or whatever. But I've found it to be more true that sobriety is full of fun and adventure, and that people's lives get more interesting, not less interesting, when they get sober.
I agree Jenn H! I remember watching all ages of AA's at Conventions dancing away the night when I was newly sober and being amazed. It showed me I could be sober but still have a blast.
Another 66-year-old alcoholic here -- thank you, Anne, for sharing your story. I esp loved the last paragraph -- who knows how we will grow and evolve over time?!
Hi Anna, Anne Gregory here. By age 21 I was lip reading and did not know it. At this age I promised myself I would never apologize for my disability or let anyone make me feel ashamed about it. I refused to wear a smaller discreet hearing aid. If I had been able to afford it, I would have bought heating aid in many colours to match my outfits. I also gave myself permission to grieve my progressive hearing loss. ..because it is a profound loss that affects my ability to communicate and uses up some of my energy….my body is always on high alert to hear when I am awake, even with my hearing aids on. Without my aids in I cannot hear my own voice. During university I used an FM system in lectures…the professor wore the transmitter and I wore the receiver so sound can into my ear phones. I used an FM system often in court as my hearing loss progressed. At the very start of each court appearance, I advised the presiding Judge of my hearing loss. I try to do any business by email not on the phone. Lastly, I tell people I don’t know what I need when they start to kind of shout at me thinking they are being helpful. I explain shouting actually distorts their words and that instead they just need to speak a bit slower because I don’t know their voice so my brain takes time to understand their words. I hope you find this useful. Wishing you light and love. Anne Gregory
Thank you! My hearing loss is progressive as well. I’ve worn hearing aids for almost 10 years now and there’s still a lot of grief around all the things I’m missing, esp with loved ones, but also the small daily points of connection. I’ve tried using voice-to-text apps but they’re pretty hot or miss
Anna, I have found it is better to me to use an audiologist who works at a hospital than to go to a commercial private hearing aid dealer. The audiologist knows much more than a hearing aid technician does. Here in Ontario, Canada, my new hearing aids would have cost me at least $4,000.00 each but my cost at my local hospital's Audiology department was half that amount and my first 2 check-in appointment for any adjustments I might need to the aids will be no charge. The audiologist can tell you what other devices may be helpful to you...like using an FM system in some settings or Bluetooth features. It is also important to get your hearing checked every 2 to 3 years so you and your doctor can track the progression of your loss ie: how fast your loss progressing and what range of hearing you are losing - this is important to determine whether or not you may be a candidate for a Cochlear implant. You can discuss these things with your ear, nose and throat specialist and your audiologist. I deal with the grief of losing my hearing every time I take off my hearing aids.. because my world falls silent immediately. It is difficult for others to understand the reality/loss we experience. I find focusing on the things I still have, like being alive, being able to hike with a friend, seeing an amazing sky and love from friends and family saves me getting too sad or bitter living alone with hearing loss.
Yeah, I honestly should do this - the costs in the US are prohibitive and I get my hearing aids from Costco ($1,700) vs doing it through my dr ($7,000) but the people at Costco are barely trained and I'm probably doing myself a disservice in the long run. SIGH. But, thank you, it's helpful to connect with others with this experience and to focus on what we CAN do instead of can't. <3
I would love to connect with you…if you are open to it..I got a message in the Substack but could not reply to it…I am NOT a super techie by any means so it is likely that I was doing something wrong on that link….so trying here…my email is flypuertorico@gmail.com in case you are open to connect. Have a great day!
One in ten people have some form of alcohol use disorder. AA is proving unsuccessful on multiple levels to offer modern help. Clinging desperately to 1930s tactics. Holding onto outdated disease model psychology. The data speaks for itself. The numbers don’t lie, young people are dying every day. Insurance companies dump off their rehab clients to avoid costs. AA needs a reformation. This will not be allowed by old timers in charge.
At least they still have a few brave warriors like you finding peace in action!
AA markets sobriety with misogyny, invisible friends, spiritual woo-woo and old books! Good luck peddling that to Gen Z.
They’d rather be numb!
AA has the organizational structure to join forces with non-religious entities and help more young people stay alive. It won’t happen. Why? Arrogance! “It worked for me, so it should work for you.”
Maybe society is deserving of greater compassion for being stuck in ta toxic drunken rut. Poor bastards don’t even know how advertising, media, film and marketing influence them. Those who don’t drink alcohol are the lucky ones!
Stop calling yourselves derogatory terms like “alcoholic.” Drop the god delusion in the steps! They work fine without it. Those who don’t drink should help each other, not hide in dark rooms drinking coffee and begging universal totalitarians for imaginary assistance. It is real people that help people in those rooms. I am fully prostrated on the ground here, begging the powers of AA. Please, dump the religion and join with the secular. Help the younger generations.
In my years of experience in AA, no one pushed any specific vision of God or religion on me. Only the idea of a higher power which for me worked since I do not believe in organized religion. AA meetings are full of people from many walks of life and economic and educational backgrounds. The magic in AA for me was it allowed me to hear how others coped with their addiction and got sober and stayed sober. In sharing my own story of recovery in AA, I realized sharing what happened to me was not just a cautionary tale others might identify with but a reminder to me of what my addiction had done to me. I never want to forget those terrible experiences that came with my drinking. I found in AA so much genuine love and compassion and that helped me to let go of the shame I felt. Of course early in my time in AA, I ranted a bit about the apparent sexism and stereotypes in the AA Big Book but ultimately going to meetings and making friends with other people who wanted to stay sober trumped my opinions of what AA should or shouldn’t change in their program. I chose to focus on the positive things about going to AA that saved my life.
Giirrlllll! You knew what you were doing by wearing those skin-tight leather pants ;) I love the power in her voice throughout this essay - she's serious about sobriety and lives like her life depends on it. Because it does.
Very powerful essay! Thank you for another moving Q&A - I love this format.
My partner met me after 8 years of sobriety and never fails to remind me how lucky I am!! I do feel like the luckiest girl in the world, she's 25 years my senior- and the best thing in my life. She's in love with a "normie."
Love it.
Another powerful essay. ❤️ Thank you, Anne and Sari!
<3
"So I am working on trying to feel and act like a grownup. Who would think I would not feel like a grownup at age 66? ". I am 84 and still telling myself to act like a grown up! But then again, what is a grownup really like? Someone who has all the answers? Not going to happen😀
Same, at 58, but more impressive at 84!
Lovely. One of my favorite lines (among many): "I have a note to myself on my fridge that reminds me that I am a capable adult..."
I love that, too.
Me too! I screenshot that sentence and saved to my photo album of things to look at when I feel low or scared.
Brave and honest without embellishment. Thank you.
What a wonderful read Anne. Are you on Substack? I relate to much. I'm 68, a friend of Bill, and becoming aware of past trauma (PTSD) has also freed me to make clearer decisions that do not compromise my self-esteem.
And thank you too Sari.
<3
Andrea, I am now on Substack, wheeeee!
Yay!!!!!
Thank you for this. So many people fear that without substance abuse, they wouldn't be fun, or creative, or whatever. But I've found it to be more true that sobriety is full of fun and adventure, and that people's lives get more interesting, not less interesting, when they get sober.
I agree Jenn H! I remember watching all ages of AA's at Conventions dancing away the night when I was newly sober and being amazed. It showed me I could be sober but still have a blast.
A powerful read. I, too, am still working on trying to feel and act like a grownup sometimes - and I’m 73.
Thank you Anne for your openness and honesty.
Another 66-year-old alcoholic here -- thank you, Anne, for sharing your story. I esp loved the last paragraph -- who knows how we will grow and evolve over time?!
Hi Anna, Anne Gregory here. By age 21 I was lip reading and did not know it. At this age I promised myself I would never apologize for my disability or let anyone make me feel ashamed about it. I refused to wear a smaller discreet hearing aid. If I had been able to afford it, I would have bought heating aid in many colours to match my outfits. I also gave myself permission to grieve my progressive hearing loss. ..because it is a profound loss that affects my ability to communicate and uses up some of my energy….my body is always on high alert to hear when I am awake, even with my hearing aids on. Without my aids in I cannot hear my own voice. During university I used an FM system in lectures…the professor wore the transmitter and I wore the receiver so sound can into my ear phones. I used an FM system often in court as my hearing loss progressed. At the very start of each court appearance, I advised the presiding Judge of my hearing loss. I try to do any business by email not on the phone. Lastly, I tell people I don’t know what I need when they start to kind of shout at me thinking they are being helpful. I explain shouting actually distorts their words and that instead they just need to speak a bit slower because I don’t know their voice so my brain takes time to understand their words. I hope you find this useful. Wishing you light and love. Anne Gregory
Thank you so much for sharing this, Anne! We need more transparency around hearing loss. 🙏🏼💕
Thank you! My hearing loss is progressive as well. I’ve worn hearing aids for almost 10 years now and there’s still a lot of grief around all the things I’m missing, esp with loved ones, but also the small daily points of connection. I’ve tried using voice-to-text apps but they’re pretty hot or miss
Anna, 4 min ago I left you another comment. Regards, Anne Gregory
also i sent you a DM!
Anna, I have found it is better to me to use an audiologist who works at a hospital than to go to a commercial private hearing aid dealer. The audiologist knows much more than a hearing aid technician does. Here in Ontario, Canada, my new hearing aids would have cost me at least $4,000.00 each but my cost at my local hospital's Audiology department was half that amount and my first 2 check-in appointment for any adjustments I might need to the aids will be no charge. The audiologist can tell you what other devices may be helpful to you...like using an FM system in some settings or Bluetooth features. It is also important to get your hearing checked every 2 to 3 years so you and your doctor can track the progression of your loss ie: how fast your loss progressing and what range of hearing you are losing - this is important to determine whether or not you may be a candidate for a Cochlear implant. You can discuss these things with your ear, nose and throat specialist and your audiologist. I deal with the grief of losing my hearing every time I take off my hearing aids.. because my world falls silent immediately. It is difficult for others to understand the reality/loss we experience. I find focusing on the things I still have, like being alive, being able to hike with a friend, seeing an amazing sky and love from friends and family saves me getting too sad or bitter living alone with hearing loss.
Yeah, I honestly should do this - the costs in the US are prohibitive and I get my hearing aids from Costco ($1,700) vs doing it through my dr ($7,000) but the people at Costco are barely trained and I'm probably doing myself a disservice in the long run. SIGH. But, thank you, it's helpful to connect with others with this experience and to focus on what we CAN do instead of can't. <3
One of my favourites ever. This was a great read 💗.
<3
Love this and am wondering how I may be able to reach out to Anne Gregory...tmrw I turn 66 and am really resonating with her share....
YES! I hope Anne reads these. We welcome her to our little writer community!
Happy Birthday Keishya!
Thank you Anne Gregory!
I would love to connect with you…if you are open to it..I got a message in the Substack but could not reply to it…I am NOT a super techie by any means so it is likely that I was doing something wrong on that link….so trying here…my email is flypuertorico@gmail.com in case you are open to connect. Have a great day!
Keishya, I emailed you with Anne's email address!
Wow thank you let’s see if I can find that! Hahaha..seriously non techie here..will check my inbox, that I can do quite well. Thanks again Sari!
I just turned 71 and I totally get not feeling like a grown-up at times. But what an inspiring woman!
Yes!
Not the topic, I realize, but I’m curious about how she dealt with her hearing loss - as someone in the same boat. Great interview regardless!
Hi Anna, I wrote a comment for you about how I have dealt with my hearing loss. Hope you find it helpful❤️
One in ten people have some form of alcohol use disorder. AA is proving unsuccessful on multiple levels to offer modern help. Clinging desperately to 1930s tactics. Holding onto outdated disease model psychology. The data speaks for itself. The numbers don’t lie, young people are dying every day. Insurance companies dump off their rehab clients to avoid costs. AA needs a reformation. This will not be allowed by old timers in charge.
At least they still have a few brave warriors like you finding peace in action!
AA markets sobriety with misogyny, invisible friends, spiritual woo-woo and old books! Good luck peddling that to Gen Z.
They’d rather be numb!
AA has the organizational structure to join forces with non-religious entities and help more young people stay alive. It won’t happen. Why? Arrogance! “It worked for me, so it should work for you.”
Maybe society is deserving of greater compassion for being stuck in ta toxic drunken rut. Poor bastards don’t even know how advertising, media, film and marketing influence them. Those who don’t drink alcohol are the lucky ones!
Stop calling yourselves derogatory terms like “alcoholic.” Drop the god delusion in the steps! They work fine without it. Those who don’t drink should help each other, not hide in dark rooms drinking coffee and begging universal totalitarians for imaginary assistance. It is real people that help people in those rooms. I am fully prostrated on the ground here, begging the powers of AA. Please, dump the religion and join with the secular. Help the younger generations.
In my years of experience in AA, no one pushed any specific vision of God or religion on me. Only the idea of a higher power which for me worked since I do not believe in organized religion. AA meetings are full of people from many walks of life and economic and educational backgrounds. The magic in AA for me was it allowed me to hear how others coped with their addiction and got sober and stayed sober. In sharing my own story of recovery in AA, I realized sharing what happened to me was not just a cautionary tale others might identify with but a reminder to me of what my addiction had done to me. I never want to forget those terrible experiences that came with my drinking. I found in AA so much genuine love and compassion and that helped me to let go of the shame I felt. Of course early in my time in AA, I ranted a bit about the apparent sexism and stereotypes in the AA Big Book but ultimately going to meetings and making friends with other people who wanted to stay sober trumped my opinions of what AA should or shouldn’t change in their program. I chose to focus on the positive things about going to AA that saved my life.