Most life-changing turn of events in my life was a very, very angry boss.
I've never seen such anger befire or since. Anger fizzed out of his every pore.
I was so frightened that I used to freeze when he exploded. (Never thought that would be my reaction to such unbelievable behaviour.)
His behaviour shattered my confidence and self-esteem and they took years to rebuild.
At the time, it was hard to see anything good in this aggression and bullying.
But good things there were.
I joined a public speaking and leadership organisation and began my journey to becoming a Distinguished Toastmaster and, latterly, a public speaking coach and TEDx Speaker.
I went through toastmasters too, to rebuild my confidence as a public speaker. I went from a guy happily sitting alone at my desk writing and editing, to managing a staff of forty with media appearances. I was terrified! But nervousness can sharpen you, when it doesn’t cause a meltdown or heart disease. Fortunately we survived our perfectionism—and angry bosses. Onward!
"If I have to do everything perfectly from the start, why even bother?" Absolutely! All those failed attempts teach you something, on your way to being good - or at least better- at whatever it is. I've learned to be gentle with myself as I've gotten older and that makes living far more enjoyable. Great essay. Thanks!
The f*!k it list! Quite the corollary to a bucket list. I like this idea a lot. I'm glad Craig Crump said that to you. Must have been empowering, way before "empowering" was a thing. Thanks for the cartoons and the laughs, Peter!
I ran into Craig at our high school reunion, and thanked him. He had absolutely no recollection of the incident. More important to me than him, obviously.
I loved your take on discovering your talents, and your F-t List, Peter, and I wish you would re-think flossing. I'm an Oldster, and handing large chunks of cash to a dentist for fillings, implants or gum surgery is also no fun. Flossing: low investment, high return.
I love the humor! And I'm 1000% with you, Peter, on the "bucket list" cliche. I cringe when I even hear the word. And the movie that might have originated the widespread use of the cliche was, in my opinion, in itself an awful cliche. I like your happy joyous and free attitude toward this time of life and life in general!
“I could have attempted—and failed brilliantly at—so many more things IF I DIDN’T TALK MYSELF OUT OF EVEN TRYING, FOR FOUR DECADES.” 💘🙏🏻 This the message that I needed from the universe today.
Maybe it was dealing with the ruination of a lot of my historical artifacts, but after dealing with The Past for two years of downsizing, I needed to do a 180° and make a Goals List for the future. 🪣?Whatever.
It was also a friend saying “you’re always planning to go back to these places you loved. (Venice, Paris) Where do you want to go you have never been?” That turned out to be a much longer list! Yay!
But I am definitely aging out of some things, like SCUBA, so there’s a kind of The Last Chance List element to it @ 70…
SCUBA? We haven't missed a thing. I had a lung collapse in my 40s and the pulmonologist told me I was FORBIDDEN from skydiving and SCUBA. I can live with that. So much to do ON EARTH!
Hey Peter, you’re right! There are fabulous adventures all over this gorgeous place! 🌎🌏🌍
Yet, in all the nature, taste, art and historical (time travel?) adventures I’ve had all over the world, SCUBA diving is by far the most incredible and rewarding thing I have EVER done! And I wasn’t certified until in Kona on my 50th b-day. Oh how I wish I was exposed years earlier. (Married a marine biologist at 46)
Unlike skittish distant wildlife on land, in the reefs we are pretty much ignored in that phenomenal colorful circus.
But… Diving where I live at latitude 47°, 🥶 requires a drysuit: serious fitness is required. It’s like swimming in a sleeping bag and the tent. Getting to tropical water is $$$$$. Safety is a big age-related thing, in terms of cardiac and pulmonary issues because no one sane dives alone.
I’m intrigued by SNUBA: just a 30’ tube to a surface air float, no heavy tanks. Worth a shot.
Being weightless is a marvelous state and the residual nitrogen is euphoric post dive as well. I actually won a trip to Fiji post divorce! It’s truly mind blowing.
“From birth, man carries the weight of gravity on his shoulders. He is bolted to earth. But man has only to sink beneath the surface and he is free.” - Cousteau
“The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.” – Cousteau
I would definitely tandem fly on a glider too. Experience the POV of an eagle 🦅?
Before she passed of ALS, my paralyzed Sister was taken up in ultralight planes in Hawai’i. My BIL said he could hear her yelling ‘yabba dabba dooooooo’ from his own noisy rig.
Wishing us both exciting new thrills for a long time! Happy Trails Peter
It's always tempting to disparage stuff you're not allowed to do. Those grapes are probably terrible! But you do make some good points about life underwater. I could go down there and apologize to the lobsters. I've eaten enough of them, now.
Believe me, there are plenty of adventures that hold zero appeal for me too. I get nauseous just looking at pictures of rock climbers, prefer to exit planes on foot, don’t gamble, would never go on a food tour with a Boudrain-type , and couldn’t give a nano-second to any royals.
I do recommend race car simulators for a completely safe heart rate boost. There’s one at the local car museum for $10 a circuit. I didn’t wreck the Corvette, because I drove like a ninety year old Nun on Nyquil…. Next time!
“plan your work and work your plan” Sorry Mr. Moore but your dad got that one from Napoleon Hill, who wrote a crazy self-help book that reappears every generation to vex, cajole, and entertain us : )
Have to say I'm in the same camp. I don't have a bucket list either. I have no idea when I'm gonna die, I don't care. I don't believe in heaven or hell. I wish taxes ceased when you reach 70. I mean I have paid my share. I never hired a tax attorney to get me out of paying my taxes. The middle class squeeze.
I can't help you with taxes. But bucket lists can be expensive. Better to seek the thrills that are right there for us to enjoy. No need to fly in a balloon over the Rift Valley! Though I have done that....
About ballooning, I watched the recent big balloon fest and thought about it for the first time. I decided to pass. I can't do roller coasters either. Laugh with your friends. Don't take it all so seriously. (however I'm not a complete passive, friends and I got over 200 postcards written telling people to vote on Nox. 5th.) BTW I sincerely hope that those listening to a recent Trump rally take his words to heart and vote on Jan. 5th!
Most life-changing turn of events in my life was a very, very angry boss.
I've never seen such anger befire or since. Anger fizzed out of his every pore.
I was so frightened that I used to freeze when he exploded. (Never thought that would be my reaction to such unbelievable behaviour.)
His behaviour shattered my confidence and self-esteem and they took years to rebuild.
At the time, it was hard to see anything good in this aggression and bullying.
But good things there were.
I joined a public speaking and leadership organisation and began my journey to becoming a Distinguished Toastmaster and, latterly, a public speaking coach and TEDx Speaker.
I went through toastmasters too, to rebuild my confidence as a public speaker. I went from a guy happily sitting alone at my desk writing and editing, to managing a staff of forty with media appearances. I was terrified! But nervousness can sharpen you, when it doesn’t cause a meltdown or heart disease. Fortunately we survived our perfectionism—and angry bosses. Onward!
"If I have to do everything perfectly from the start, why even bother?" Absolutely! All those failed attempts teach you something, on your way to being good - or at least better- at whatever it is. I've learned to be gentle with myself as I've gotten older and that makes living far more enjoyable. Great essay. Thanks!
Not only more enjoyable, but also more interesting. So much to taste, try, experiment with!
I agree… when you look at it that way, life will never be boring and it will always be invigorating!!
I have never been bored in my life. I have ADD.
Silver Linings Playbook. Good work.
Love this, Peter.
To supplement your F*ck It List, may I humbly suggest the I Don't Give a Sh*t List. With age, many things I used to fret over no longer matter.
I have no more fucks to give?
Ha! Ditto.
Exactly. Ain't it grand?
The f*!k it list! Quite the corollary to a bucket list. I like this idea a lot. I'm glad Craig Crump said that to you. Must have been empowering, way before "empowering" was a thing. Thanks for the cartoons and the laughs, Peter!
I ran into Craig at our high school reunion, and thanked him. He had absolutely no recollection of the incident. More important to me than him, obviously.
I loved your take on discovering your talents, and your F-t List, Peter, and I wish you would re-think flossing. I'm an Oldster, and handing large chunks of cash to a dentist for fillings, implants or gum surgery is also no fun. Flossing: low investment, high return.
Ok! Ok! I’ll resume flossing!
My response exactly. Catches up to you, dammit.
I love the humor! And I'm 1000% with you, Peter, on the "bucket list" cliche. I cringe when I even hear the word. And the movie that might have originated the widespread use of the cliche was, in my opinion, in itself an awful cliche. I like your happy joyous and free attitude toward this time of life and life in general!
“I could have attempted—and failed brilliantly at—so many more things IF I DIDN’T TALK MYSELF OUT OF EVEN TRYING, FOR FOUR DECADES.” 💘🙏🏻 This the message that I needed from the universe today.
The Universe mentioned that to me specifically, Gina. Consider yourself absolved from perfectionism. Now go out there and mess up, proudly!
😂
Laughed out loud! Thank you!
Made my day.
Maybe it was dealing with the ruination of a lot of my historical artifacts, but after dealing with The Past for two years of downsizing, I needed to do a 180° and make a Goals List for the future. 🪣?Whatever.
It was also a friend saying “you’re always planning to go back to these places you loved. (Venice, Paris) Where do you want to go you have never been?” That turned out to be a much longer list! Yay!
But I am definitely aging out of some things, like SCUBA, so there’s a kind of The Last Chance List element to it @ 70…
SCUBA? We haven't missed a thing. I had a lung collapse in my 40s and the pulmonologist told me I was FORBIDDEN from skydiving and SCUBA. I can live with that. So much to do ON EARTH!
Hey Peter, you’re right! There are fabulous adventures all over this gorgeous place! 🌎🌏🌍
Yet, in all the nature, taste, art and historical (time travel?) adventures I’ve had all over the world, SCUBA diving is by far the most incredible and rewarding thing I have EVER done! And I wasn’t certified until in Kona on my 50th b-day. Oh how I wish I was exposed years earlier. (Married a marine biologist at 46)
Unlike skittish distant wildlife on land, in the reefs we are pretty much ignored in that phenomenal colorful circus.
But… Diving where I live at latitude 47°, 🥶 requires a drysuit: serious fitness is required. It’s like swimming in a sleeping bag and the tent. Getting to tropical water is $$$$$. Safety is a big age-related thing, in terms of cardiac and pulmonary issues because no one sane dives alone.
I’m intrigued by SNUBA: just a 30’ tube to a surface air float, no heavy tanks. Worth a shot.
Being weightless is a marvelous state and the residual nitrogen is euphoric post dive as well. I actually won a trip to Fiji post divorce! It’s truly mind blowing.
“From birth, man carries the weight of gravity on his shoulders. He is bolted to earth. But man has only to sink beneath the surface and he is free.” - Cousteau
“The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.” – Cousteau
I would definitely tandem fly on a glider too. Experience the POV of an eagle 🦅?
Before she passed of ALS, my paralyzed Sister was taken up in ultralight planes in Hawai’i. My BIL said he could hear her yelling ‘yabba dabba dooooooo’ from his own noisy rig.
Wishing us both exciting new thrills for a long time! Happy Trails Peter
It's always tempting to disparage stuff you're not allowed to do. Those grapes are probably terrible! But you do make some good points about life underwater. I could go down there and apologize to the lobsters. I've eaten enough of them, now.
Ha ha ha ha!!!! 🤣
Believe me, there are plenty of adventures that hold zero appeal for me too. I get nauseous just looking at pictures of rock climbers, prefer to exit planes on foot, don’t gamble, would never go on a food tour with a Boudrain-type , and couldn’t give a nano-second to any royals.
I do recommend race car simulators for a completely safe heart rate boost. There’s one at the local car museum for $10 a circuit. I didn’t wreck the Corvette, because I drove like a ninety year old Nun on Nyquil…. Next time!
“plan your work and work your plan” Sorry Mr. Moore but your dad got that one from Napoleon Hill, who wrote a crazy self-help book that reappears every generation to vex, cajole, and entertain us : )
I believe they co-created the line. It's not that original, but still, it made a difference for adolescent underachieving me.
Have to say I'm in the same camp. I don't have a bucket list either. I have no idea when I'm gonna die, I don't care. I don't believe in heaven or hell. I wish taxes ceased when you reach 70. I mean I have paid my share. I never hired a tax attorney to get me out of paying my taxes. The middle class squeeze.
I can't help you with taxes. But bucket lists can be expensive. Better to seek the thrills that are right there for us to enjoy. No need to fly in a balloon over the Rift Valley! Though I have done that....
About ballooning, I watched the recent big balloon fest and thought about it for the first time. I decided to pass. I can't do roller coasters either. Laugh with your friends. Don't take it all so seriously. (however I'm not a complete passive, friends and I got over 200 postcards written telling people to vote on Nox. 5th.) BTW I sincerely hope that those listening to a recent Trump rally take his words to heart and vote on Jan. 5th!
Ahh ha ha ha ha. This is awesome. Thanks, Peter Moore. Fuck the bucket list, for sure.