21 Comments
author

Thank you so much. I'm writing a book on porn and feminism, how there were/are major porn stars who are feminist role models.

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author

Yes, drugs are not allowed on many sets these days. There are strict ethical guidelines about consent, use of contraception, and testing testing testing.

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author

Yes!

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Sari Botton

I'm so pleased to read an essay about our ongoing quest for sexual parity and pleasure. This experience, although from the writer's younger years, is now being told from the perspective of a "senior" woman. The arc of our search for ourselves as sexual humans is important to share. And to boldly write about this is refreshing. Last year I wrote a post for Huff Post about my quest for sexual parity and wanting to hire a man to satisfy my sexual needs.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/middle-age-sexual-needs-male-escort_n_617e9d7ae4b03072d7057203

(And this year Emma Thompson boldly portrayed a senior woman in "Good Luck to You Leo Grande" who in fact hires a male escort to provide her with sexual pleasure.) It's about time we challenge our sexist and ageist attitudes about women and sex.

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author

Yes, and thx. I read your piece and loved it. Wasn't Emma Thompson wonderful? I'm writing a book that tackles this theme using porn as the launching pad. About feminism, sexual parity and pleasure. And I've an essay coming out soon (I hope) on Senior Sex/Senior Porn. To paraphrase Joan Price, there's no expiration date...

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Sari Botton

"I had a difficult time conceiving that porn could be an important and healthy revolutionary ingredient in the progress of feminism, actually affording an opportunity for women to assume ownership of their sexuality." - the main thought that I've been waiting to see because, well, porn isn't all of these things. And never have been. And never will be, unless we live in a perfect non-patriarchal world.

I personally have a hard time believing there are women who did porn (even after having a terrible experience!) and who still genuinely believe that porn could "liberate all women including yourself" or "open the way to your sexual inner goddess" or whatever else. I know my comment runs counter the essay but maybe someone needs to see it.

I don't want to shame those who does porn or who consumes it, I just want to remind that porn is mostly watched by men and the companies are run by men and the set crew is 99% men and it's just, well, says it all. It's amazing that Candida was able to fit in the industry but she is a fairly weak example of the "porn empowerment" because, well, she never made anyone's life better. She never made porn set a better place. Like you said, there's no way to film this without being under influence.

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Nancy Jainchill

Check out the Holly Randall Unfiltered podcast. She’s a porn producer, and her mom was a porn producer too. She interviews performers and talks about her own experiences. You might be surprised what she has to say.

Among other things, they absolutely forbid drugs on set. If you come to work high you will be sent home.

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author

I understand your perspective and thank you for taking the time to respond. However, there are many women involved in the industry these days who are feminist, and have personal agency. More than that, the industry has become a venue/an opportunity to reflect acceptance of diversity, which is definitely a win. There's a lot to say about this and I'm actually writing a book about it. As with anything, it ain't all good and it ain't all bad.

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Nancy Jainchill

“I didn’t yet know that I deserved to be there.” I couldn’t sum it up better. I’d still be there if not for a collision with a curious red lace bra. Joining you now 💕

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Jul 12, 2023·edited Jul 12, 2023Liked by Sari Botton

Fascinating read! Thanks for sharing your story 😊

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I really loved reading this! Thank you!

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author

Thanks so much!

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I do wonder what has happened to feminist porn in the era of PornHub. Is it still being made? Or has it lost out financially to the ability to now view poorly made porn clips for free 24/7?

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author

There is much more feminist porn now. There are committees that have developed a "Bill of Rights" for performers, and that offer guidelines for ethical behavior, that could inform the mainstream. There's much more than PornHub out there. And feminism has expanded to allow expression for a diversity of individuals.

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That's good to know! Every once in a while I go onto the Toys in Babeland site and peruse their porn options, which features much more women-oriented porn than you can ever find on PornHub, but I'm often stymied with what to pick, afraid I'll spend money on something that's disappointing. When PornHub is disappointing I don't worry about it because it's free. What did I expect? Do you have any suggestions of series or filmmakers that are doing great work these days?

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author

p.s. I've a piece coming out on senior sex/senior porn. When it appears I can send you the link or you can msg me on FB if you're interested.

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Sep 27, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Nancy Jainchill

I’m very much interested in reading this piece also please? This essay was great btw and I’m hoping several of my friends will also read it.

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I will message you. Thanks!

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author

It depends what you're interested. jessica drake and Erika Lust have done several (almost educational) videos for seniors. There are also sites that now have real-life couples who post their activities which are "reasonable." If you want more info, let me know.

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author

Thanks so much.

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