...leaving good money on the table. PLUS: Non-alcoholic drinks I like and want to see more of on menus. And an open thread where you can share about your experiences and favorite N/A beverages.
Bookmarking for all the great suggestions here! Growing up in the rural Midwest and a Gen Xer, drinking alcohol was a rite of passage I didn’t really question. Fast forward to my 40s and I don’t enjoy alcohol or the hangovers and lack of sleep even one glass of wine brings, so I’ve experimented with making strong herbal teas and mixing them with various fizzy waters over ice. I’ve also been more interested in making shrubs mixed with seltzers - there is a particularly delicious beet shrub mixed with ginger beer (which can be too sugary so I go lite).
If the people I’m around give me a hard time or seem wary I’m not a party girl anymore, they probably aren’t my people anymore.
Sometimes shrubs are too vinegary. But I generally am for them. And yes, ginger beer is often too sweet. Yesterday I drank some cut with seltzer to quell my nausea. (Norovirus or something like it...)
I've been doing the tea + fizzy thing, too -- I like to dollop in some half & half, for a cremosa-type experience sometimes. My favorite: I use organic herbs from Mountain Rose Herbs... Oat Straw with a few rosebuds in it. A few sweet cinnamon chips if I need a boost. Brew it up strong, add to fizzy water, drop in the creamy stuff (oat milk or half and half), maybe swirl in some maple syrup if I'm feeling decadent.
I committed to stop drinking for 90 days to support my ex. It opened a world for me. During that time, I began to understand how much I used alcohol and other things (food, shopping, etc.) to numb out. Without the alcohol, I began to connect to myself fully and begin to understand who I was and what I wanted out of life. I eventually left the husband, but not the sobriety. 90 days turned into one year, then two, etc. It's now been 15 years, and I've never been happier and more fulfilled.
I will start by saying I work in and around wine and other spirits as an event planner, speaker and writer. I drink something almost daily and at age 64 can say I have not been drunk in 35 years. I preach moderation and also the social and connective aspects of wine. I congratulate people who stop drinking, for a while or forever. I suppose since I see it as a part of a meal most often, a product adjacent to food, and as an ag product, I have a different take on it than many. Writing about all sorts of drinks (and food), I certainly have tried NA options since long before they were hot.
Most "mocktails" are basically fruit juices with some additions and generally overpriced. Most of the wine and spirits options also are overpriced, or higher priced for those of good quality. I'll stick to teas, shrubs, sodas, etc that are craft or thoughtfully made and usually a third of the price or less. Many restaurants dont have a lot of options because of pricing. Also many dont carry them because their distribution channels may not have caught up with it. Many of the better products are with small boutique wholesalers who dont have a lot of reach. Not different from better made wine and spirits, where most of the mass-produced "food processed" offerings are controlled by bigger channels. Think Coke and Pepsi vs your favorite craft sodas. I prefer to advocate for lower ABV options (one of my favorite producers in the Hudson Valley, Wild Arc Farm, makes a wine-derived lower abv option called piquette) or to have people drink better in general, not less.
I do drink less these days. I also eat less. I do drink better and eat better too. Better quality and sourced ingredients. More and more of a locavore and locabibe. I do drink some NA options too. My favorite is Muri, a line of NA "wines" made by former Noma and Empirical Spirits folks. They even have a special bottling out now in conjunction with the Four Horseman natural wine bar and restaurant in Brooklyn. I also dont know if its allowed but I did write a Substack on the subject of Dry January that one prominent wine journalist called thoughtful and empathetic. If its allowed, I am happy to share it. And sorry for the long post.
After all my rich traditional foods over 4+ holidaze; Solstice, Christmas and Christmas Eve & NYE, I’m still satiated two weeks later. Guess I did it all just right, no regrets.
I’m already seeing slight stirrings of spring in nature and am lusting for that newness to return. It’s a great time to TRY NEW THINGS TOO! Foods, beverages, books, activities, music, and ??? What’s new BooBoo? 🐻
Sadly, for those of us now enjoying the new dealcoholized beverages, I think people who do drink alcohol are doing the rest of us a disservice by promoting what YOU like as opposed to what nondrinkers like. I love Ritual and Seedlip botanical-based mixers. I enjoy many of the dealcoholized IPAs and a increasing number of dealcoholized wines. Yet when I dine out, there are no options on most menus because drink menus are set by drinkers, wine snobs, and bartenders. You're doing the same thing. As you say, "[m]ost 'mocktails' are basically fruit juices with some additions and generally overpriced. Most of the wine and spirits options also are overpriced, or higher priced for those of good quality. I'll stick to teas, shrubs, sodas, etc that are craft or thoughtfully made and usually a third of the price or less. Many restaurants dont have a lot of options because of pricing."
I think that is false. I think they're not offered because drinkers choose what is offered. I will pay for "mocktails" made with Ritual or Seedlip, but have rarely found them offered anywhere in Phoenix/Scottsdale, and when I find them they're less than $10. I can make them at home, so why can't I find them in restaurants? (I have not, ever, found a dealcoholized wine or a nonalcoholic gin and tonic in a bar/restaurant, but Ritual gin with Fever Tree is terrific!) I think it's less a pricing issue than that the people creating the "wine list" drink alcohol and these mixers are not that. I also don't want "teas, shrubs, or sodas" with dinner or hanging out with friends at a bar.
About 4 years ago I decided I wanted to try soberiety. And it was very difficult for me. Not particularly because I missed the alcohol and wanted to drink. I'd always swung towards binge drinking on nights out. Rather than pouring a glass of vino after work each day.
The real obstacle was not my lack of motivation, nor the poor selection offerings of alcohol free options (Guinness Zero is my favourite). Unfortunately it was my own peers.
People from various groups of friends, colleagues and even family. At that time, found my choices all rather jarring.
I would consider myself a Xennial / Late Milleninal. I say this as I think it is definitely generational issue.
And I had a lot of people saying to me, they were shocked, or how boring I was, for not drinking with them. How I was way more fun when I drink. And so on the varying comments ensued. It was a lot of typical Brit style banter with dollops of passive aggressive put me downs. Often met with follow up questions like '...but you will drink for Dave's birthday won't you?' or 'You have to drink at Elaine's wedding! It's her wedding!' etc.
As if me not drinking at Elaine's wedding would be a disaster of sorts. Only now can I see how ridiculous it sounds!
Looking back I see the side swipes and comments passed at me where saying far more about how these people felt about themselves and their own drinking habits and far less about me. I suppose it's hard when a mirror is held up to you. Especially one you don't want to look in.
British culture has a strong bond surrounding drinking. Going to the pub, getting pissed to celebrate , commiserate , catch up or no real reason at all!
It's all very much a part of how socialising is /was done. A way for us to communicate freely I suppose.
But, in the past year I have seen a definite shift in the way people I know are changing their attitudes to drinking. Those same peers who mocked me just 4 years ago, now seems to be sober curious themselves... choosing to enjoy an alcoholic free option. Or "night off". Some even going sober themselves!
I think the impact from generations behind has had influence. They unlike us, seem far less interested in getting completely battered every weekend. They don't see being blind drunk in the bar/ pub / club as a badge of honour. And their healthier, wiser lifestyle choices and their trends do filter through to us older generations.
Anyway, here I am restarting my choice for a sober journey again 4 years later.
It will certainly be interesting to see how easy or not it will be to navigate. I have a feeling that I may just have more company to enjoy my Guinness Zero with this time around!
Lots of that in the U.S. as well, though I feel like here, as we age, it becomes less and less expected. Especially as one starts to realize that most of the people still drinking that hard more than say, once a year at a special concert or wedding, are actually drinking hard every weekend. And it is not terribly attractive or healthy on someone over 40!
Also: perimenopause. Now that'll cure ya. Many of us can't drink at all during some or all of peri. Night sweats are the worst.
“You’re no fun when you’re not getting drunk with us” is another way of saying “you’re a lot harder to manipulate into paying my tab, doing stupid shit for tiktok, or getting into my bed”…
Some of our most dangerous predators are the closest nearby.
It’s not a ‘fun’ lesson to learn the truth about certain
Anyone who bugs you about not drinking, you've got to wonder what's up with them. If I didn't want to eat a burger, nobody would try to force one on me. But booze, that's different. It's socially acceptable to be pushy with it.
Sari, since perimenopause, I have had to choose between drinking or sleeping for the past three decades. It’s a no-brainer. You have to check out Navarro Vineyards grape juices, developed for their children from wine grapes that are not fermented. It’s the best and pleasantly cut with sparkling water and a slice of lemon or lime.
I have been sober now for 49 years. I have yet to find many N/A drinks in restaurants that I have gone to. But, the other day my friend and I tried a restaurant closer to where we live. And they had N/A drinks. I was so excited. The cost was $2.00 and I not only enjoyed it, I loved it. We will be going back. I live in Maine. And we have a big problem with addictions here. I am 66, and in my senior community, we collect bottles and cans for recycling. That money we use for group activities. The use of alcohol here is rising. We really need to have more places that have these options, for those who decided that we are not partying anymore. Thank you for this reading.
It was mostly green tea with a 1/4 of lemonade. It had the right combination of tartness and sweetness. They also had other N/A drinks as well as N/A craft beers. And reasonably priced.
I would love to see more NA and low/lower alcohol options in bars and restaurants--especially ones that aren't overly sweet and lend to sipping. I make aperol spritzes with real Aperol but AF sparkling wine, for example, and make regular ones for my friends. My favorite NA spirit is an NA Negroni made with Ritual Aperitif Alternative.
Not to be a downer but I discovered that the NA spirits (like, say, Ritual’s Tequila alternative, expire just 12 weeks after opening. I might only want to make a handful of NA margaritas during that time period and it just seems so wasteful to throw the rest out. I stopped buying Seedlip and Ritual products for this reason.
Could you portion them into small bottles and freeze? Alcohol is a potent preservative, so alternatives are required. I sure don’t want preservative chemicals in place of. Good luck!
I live in a city where I have to drive most places, and my low tolerance and antidepressant usage means I start to feel dizzy after even small amounts of alcohol. I’m very fortunate that I can take or leave it. So I leave it.
My daughter goes to college in Utah. There’s a whole soda culture there, probably because coffee and alcohol are off the table for the LDS patrons. If more bars and restaurants made this available, I’d be giving them much more money.
I’m 72 years old. I was a daily drinker for 20 years. Everyday from 4:00 till about 8:30 I would have a combination of wine and scotch. I was smart enough if I was driving I would limit to one maybe two cocktails depending on how long I’d be at an event. But when I returned home I would have a few more unless it was late and time for bed. I never felt like I had to have a drink, I just did . Everyday. Never was “ hungover” I was but just was my new normal so I adjusted to that feeling of being tired all the time. Seldom the stereotypical hangover with vomiting and a splitting headache but “ hungover “ nonetheless. Three plus years ago I attended a funeral of my wife’s family. 57 years old retired had lots to live for. Money, wife, family. His daily routine was 1 lb of bacon in the morning, Bloody Mary, then a combination of cocktails and weed. Heart disease runs in the family and he had a few scares but not enough to curtail his lifestyle. One day goes in after experiencing complications and never makes it back. 57 f-ing years old! At his funeral I’m now drinking enough that I have moderate shaking throughout the day. Hands all a flutter. Can’t sign the guestbook shaking that bad. His brother walks in aided by his two sons holding him up during to a stroke he had the year before. He lived the same lifestyle as his brother although he sought help and was sober for a number of years before his stroke. But the damage was done to his body and it caught up with him. So, looking at this scene plating out right in front of me I said to myself” self if this isn’t your wake up call then you deserve the same fate as these brothers “! After the funeral, I told my wife I’ve had my last drink, you do what you want but I’m done. She still drinks and I fear what lies ahead for her. I expressed my feelings about it to her but in the end she has to want it. She’s not there yet I guess. I just hope she comes to her senses and at least moderates. Well, it’s been almost 4 years now for me never felt better haven’t had any lapses so I’m lucky. Good luck to all that are trying to quit as I know I must be an anomaly.
I have almost entirely quit drinking due to seeing the really horrific effects of alcoholism on my friends and family (that no one really wants to talk about) and also the new reports on alcohol and cancer. Drinking and alcoholism just aren't funny to me anymore. I'm hoping that eventually we booze will go the way of the cigarette, but I know that will take a long time.
I have always enjoyed the mixology of cocktails and a good glass of wine, but have paired back my drinking considerably in my 50’s. For no other reason than I just drink less and feel better when I do. Recently when at a place that has no mock-tails I order bitters and club soda. It is very simple, bars always have it, the taste is complex without being fussy. And no sugar. It is also something you can’t drink quickly, which I think is always the problem with mock-tails. Too sweet, heavily juiced mock-tails are too easy to drink, and cocktails are meant to enjoy at leisure, which is what I like about them. So having something that is refreshing but also a sipper is important for me.
I had a bitters-and-soda phase until I realized the ones they have at bars are like 70% proof. I have heard there are some good N/A bitters out there, though...
I believe the amount of alcohol in a bitters-and-soda is about the same as in an N/A beer - almost none! (Less than 0.5%) And the bitters themselves are typically 35-45% ABV (same as vanilla extract!)
I’ve never used Angostura bitters in any way other than a few drops -so intense. Are they pouring them in that drink??? Wow.
I made some fir tree extracts with the barks as bitters (in 44proof alcohol) but again, use only drops. Also sprayed my mattress when turning it. So fragrant and clean smelling.
I have to instruct the bartender how many "shakes" to put in my bitters and soda. (I don't drink but will choose this option on occasion.) Sometimes when I order it the glass comes out completely brown! It's like bartenders can't imagine that you might not be trying to get as drunk as possible?
There are also nonalcoholic bitters that are available in travel sizes available from "All the Bitters." Order soda, shake in your own bitters from your purse, problem solved!
Love this fantastically informative post, which I’ve bookmarked for ideas! For me, back in my 5os I met the man with whom I’d apparently been hoping to meet my entire life. An Irish guy with a proclivity for gin &tonics, which I joined in downing with gusto! I’m an ex-music-journalist whose adventures in rock&roll meant my goal was to always prove I could keep up with the guys because misogyny. Patriarchy. Er, my insecurity to belong? Yes, all that. So with this new guy I was keeping up the front as a drinker. The problem: I was feeling crappier and crappier the next day and he and I were losing hours&hours of real communication. I realized I wanted to actually know him and make memories that weren’t hungover hazy. Time felt short. I was acknowledging the oldster in me. We took a five-year break from alcohol. Our drink of choice: sugar-free tonic with a slice of lime, which simulated a G&T. I have continued past our five-year mark (which was 10 years ago) with the occasional wine, etc., then I’m reminded the next day why I don’t care for drinking. My partner went back to drinking and it’s been a definite source of tension in our relationship as I see him disappear from me after a couple of glasses (or cocktails). (Hello, therapy.) And although he has hangovers, he isn’t yet done with drinking, although he has stepped away for the last week and it seems like that might last for a while.
Anywho, I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time investigating low-alcohol wine varietals (muscato is one) but to your point, too few restaurants offer non- or low-alcohol options. One of my pet peeves is that too often a mocktail is set down in a tall glass with a bright straw that signals either “I am 12” or “I am sober& maybe boring.” While my partner has a rocks glass with an amber liquid and a solid square ice cube that gives George-Clooney cool. It makes me mad.
This is all to say that yes, establishments are really blowing it by not understanding the new shift toward interesting nonalcoholic beverages. Mixologists could have fun adding to their repertoire.
Tost is great. Zero-alcohol IPAs are excellent. Noughty is great too. I look forward to sampling the other suggestions on your list (&in the comments) as well.
Thanks for chiming in, Lauren. You've reminded me of my days fronting as a music journalist and hanging out with all the wrong dudes. I feel the same way about the way those overly sweet mocktails look. They appear and taste like children's drinks.
I gave up on most mocktails for the same reason I gave up booze: they're not good for me. I just order seltzer and drink something better at home. Aplos is really good but never available in restaurants. The other thing that's really hard to find in most restaurants is vegetarian options. Meat in the appetizers, salads and entrees. There's often one token dish but if you frequent a restaurant, that gets old.
I'll check out Aplos! PS As someone who needs to avoid gluten, I feel you on the limited options. Too many restaurants think I should just be satisfied with lettuce.
As a Gen Xer, with over three decades in hospitality - a large portion of which were spent as a sommelier, and wine bar owner - I completely agree. In Dec’24 I crossed a year alcohol free and a large part of my work now is educating and building zero proof programs in restaurants and retail. Because it’s a part of inclusive hospitality and to your point that doesn’t mean one sugar non-alc cocktail grouped in with soda, tea and coffee.
I also wrote a piece in October about the opportunities for the wine world to embrace dealcoholized options in their portfolios; and wrote another piece just yesterday about big alcohol continuing to get in on the consumer evolution. Would love to share in the thread - with permission of course. Thank you for using your platform to talk about an important topic in hospitality.
Quit drinking last August prior to turning 56. Best decision I ever made, for many reasons. I won’t be going back because I know I can’t. Moderation and me just don’t get along.
Bookmarking for all the great suggestions here! Growing up in the rural Midwest and a Gen Xer, drinking alcohol was a rite of passage I didn’t really question. Fast forward to my 40s and I don’t enjoy alcohol or the hangovers and lack of sleep even one glass of wine brings, so I’ve experimented with making strong herbal teas and mixing them with various fizzy waters over ice. I’ve also been more interested in making shrubs mixed with seltzers - there is a particularly delicious beet shrub mixed with ginger beer (which can be too sugary so I go lite).
If the people I’m around give me a hard time or seem wary I’m not a party girl anymore, they probably aren’t my people anymore.
Sometimes shrubs are too vinegary. But I generally am for them. And yes, ginger beer is often too sweet. Yesterday I drank some cut with seltzer to quell my nausea. (Norovirus or something like it...)
Oh bummer. I hope it doesn’t take hold and you feel better!
I've been doing the tea + fizzy thing, too -- I like to dollop in some half & half, for a cremosa-type experience sometimes. My favorite: I use organic herbs from Mountain Rose Herbs... Oat Straw with a few rosebuds in it. A few sweet cinnamon chips if I need a boost. Brew it up strong, add to fizzy water, drop in the creamy stuff (oat milk or half and half), maybe swirl in some maple syrup if I'm feeling decadent.
I committed to stop drinking for 90 days to support my ex. It opened a world for me. During that time, I began to understand how much I used alcohol and other things (food, shopping, etc.) to numb out. Without the alcohol, I began to connect to myself fully and begin to understand who I was and what I wanted out of life. I eventually left the husband, but not the sobriety. 90 days turned into one year, then two, etc. It's now been 15 years, and I've never been happier and more fulfilled.
Amazing. Thanks for sharing.
I will start by saying I work in and around wine and other spirits as an event planner, speaker and writer. I drink something almost daily and at age 64 can say I have not been drunk in 35 years. I preach moderation and also the social and connective aspects of wine. I congratulate people who stop drinking, for a while or forever. I suppose since I see it as a part of a meal most often, a product adjacent to food, and as an ag product, I have a different take on it than many. Writing about all sorts of drinks (and food), I certainly have tried NA options since long before they were hot.
Most "mocktails" are basically fruit juices with some additions and generally overpriced. Most of the wine and spirits options also are overpriced, or higher priced for those of good quality. I'll stick to teas, shrubs, sodas, etc that are craft or thoughtfully made and usually a third of the price or less. Many restaurants dont have a lot of options because of pricing. Also many dont carry them because their distribution channels may not have caught up with it. Many of the better products are with small boutique wholesalers who dont have a lot of reach. Not different from better made wine and spirits, where most of the mass-produced "food processed" offerings are controlled by bigger channels. Think Coke and Pepsi vs your favorite craft sodas. I prefer to advocate for lower ABV options (one of my favorite producers in the Hudson Valley, Wild Arc Farm, makes a wine-derived lower abv option called piquette) or to have people drink better in general, not less.
I do drink less these days. I also eat less. I do drink better and eat better too. Better quality and sourced ingredients. More and more of a locavore and locabibe. I do drink some NA options too. My favorite is Muri, a line of NA "wines" made by former Noma and Empirical Spirits folks. They even have a special bottling out now in conjunction with the Four Horseman natural wine bar and restaurant in Brooklyn. I also dont know if its allowed but I did write a Substack on the subject of Dry January that one prominent wine journalist called thoughtful and empathetic. If its allowed, I am happy to share it. And sorry for the long post.
I’ll look into Muri. Go ahead and reply to this comment with a link to your piece, Hank. Thanks!
thanks Sari.
Im an advocate for Try January. Even if you are doing Dry January, its still a good month to try things. Resolutions dont have to feel punitive or like sacrifices. https://open.substack.com/pub/hankzona/p/try-january-vs-dry-january?r=9xir3&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Oh, I’m grabbing this: Try January!
After all my rich traditional foods over 4+ holidaze; Solstice, Christmas and Christmas Eve & NYE, I’m still satiated two weeks later. Guess I did it all just right, no regrets.
I’m already seeing slight stirrings of spring in nature and am lusting for that newness to return. It’s a great time to TRY NEW THINGS TOO! Foods, beverages, books, activities, music, and ??? What’s new BooBoo? 🐻
Thank you for the inspiration!
Try January. Love it.
Sadly, for those of us now enjoying the new dealcoholized beverages, I think people who do drink alcohol are doing the rest of us a disservice by promoting what YOU like as opposed to what nondrinkers like. I love Ritual and Seedlip botanical-based mixers. I enjoy many of the dealcoholized IPAs and a increasing number of dealcoholized wines. Yet when I dine out, there are no options on most menus because drink menus are set by drinkers, wine snobs, and bartenders. You're doing the same thing. As you say, "[m]ost 'mocktails' are basically fruit juices with some additions and generally overpriced. Most of the wine and spirits options also are overpriced, or higher priced for those of good quality. I'll stick to teas, shrubs, sodas, etc that are craft or thoughtfully made and usually a third of the price or less. Many restaurants dont have a lot of options because of pricing."
I think that is false. I think they're not offered because drinkers choose what is offered. I will pay for "mocktails" made with Ritual or Seedlip, but have rarely found them offered anywhere in Phoenix/Scottsdale, and when I find them they're less than $10. I can make them at home, so why can't I find them in restaurants? (I have not, ever, found a dealcoholized wine or a nonalcoholic gin and tonic in a bar/restaurant, but Ritual gin with Fever Tree is terrific!) I think it's less a pricing issue than that the people creating the "wine list" drink alcohol and these mixers are not that. I also don't want "teas, shrubs, or sodas" with dinner or hanging out with friends at a bar.
About 4 years ago I decided I wanted to try soberiety. And it was very difficult for me. Not particularly because I missed the alcohol and wanted to drink. I'd always swung towards binge drinking on nights out. Rather than pouring a glass of vino after work each day.
The real obstacle was not my lack of motivation, nor the poor selection offerings of alcohol free options (Guinness Zero is my favourite). Unfortunately it was my own peers.
People from various groups of friends, colleagues and even family. At that time, found my choices all rather jarring.
I would consider myself a Xennial / Late Milleninal. I say this as I think it is definitely generational issue.
And I had a lot of people saying to me, they were shocked, or how boring I was, for not drinking with them. How I was way more fun when I drink. And so on the varying comments ensued. It was a lot of typical Brit style banter with dollops of passive aggressive put me downs. Often met with follow up questions like '...but you will drink for Dave's birthday won't you?' or 'You have to drink at Elaine's wedding! It's her wedding!' etc.
As if me not drinking at Elaine's wedding would be a disaster of sorts. Only now can I see how ridiculous it sounds!
Looking back I see the side swipes and comments passed at me where saying far more about how these people felt about themselves and their own drinking habits and far less about me. I suppose it's hard when a mirror is held up to you. Especially one you don't want to look in.
British culture has a strong bond surrounding drinking. Going to the pub, getting pissed to celebrate , commiserate , catch up or no real reason at all!
It's all very much a part of how socialising is /was done. A way for us to communicate freely I suppose.
But, in the past year I have seen a definite shift in the way people I know are changing their attitudes to drinking. Those same peers who mocked me just 4 years ago, now seems to be sober curious themselves... choosing to enjoy an alcoholic free option. Or "night off". Some even going sober themselves!
I think the impact from generations behind has had influence. They unlike us, seem far less interested in getting completely battered every weekend. They don't see being blind drunk in the bar/ pub / club as a badge of honour. And their healthier, wiser lifestyle choices and their trends do filter through to us older generations.
Anyway, here I am restarting my choice for a sober journey again 4 years later.
It will certainly be interesting to see how easy or not it will be to navigate. I have a feeling that I may just have more company to enjoy my Guinness Zero with this time around!
Good luck re-embarking on the journey. <3
Lots of that in the U.S. as well, though I feel like here, as we age, it becomes less and less expected. Especially as one starts to realize that most of the people still drinking that hard more than say, once a year at a special concert or wedding, are actually drinking hard every weekend. And it is not terribly attractive or healthy on someone over 40!
Also: perimenopause. Now that'll cure ya. Many of us can't drink at all during some or all of peri. Night sweats are the worst.
Yes, it does seem Brits like to "get bladdered" as you say. It's amazing anything gets done in this country, the attitudes they have to booze.
“You’re no fun when you’re not getting drunk with us” is another way of saying “you’re a lot harder to manipulate into paying my tab, doing stupid shit for tiktok, or getting into my bed”…
Some of our most dangerous predators are the closest nearby.
It’s not a ‘fun’ lesson to learn the truth about certain
‘friends’, but so freeing when we do.
Anyone who bugs you about not drinking, you've got to wonder what's up with them. If I didn't want to eat a burger, nobody would try to force one on me. But booze, that's different. It's socially acceptable to be pushy with it.
Oh, as a vegetarian, I would beg to differ. People try to force burgers (and other meat dishes) on me.
Thanks for the mention! I can’t believe the explosion in NA drinks and people talking this way now. It’s a whole new world and I’m so glad.
Me, too! Now we just need more establishments responding to the boom.
It’s the distributors that will complete the loop. They’re who need to be sold.
Sari, since perimenopause, I have had to choose between drinking or sleeping for the past three decades. It’s a no-brainer. You have to check out Navarro Vineyards grape juices, developed for their children from wine grapes that are not fermented. It’s the best and pleasantly cut with sparkling water and a slice of lemon or lime.
Oh, I'll look up Navarro Vineyards. Thank you.
Navarro also has verjus. The juices are extremely sweet (and tasty) so I’d suggest trying with n/a tonic and/or bitters.
Good to know.
I have been sober now for 49 years. I have yet to find many N/A drinks in restaurants that I have gone to. But, the other day my friend and I tried a restaurant closer to where we live. And they had N/A drinks. I was so excited. The cost was $2.00 and I not only enjoyed it, I loved it. We will be going back. I live in Maine. And we have a big problem with addictions here. I am 66, and in my senior community, we collect bottles and cans for recycling. That money we use for group activities. The use of alcohol here is rising. We really need to have more places that have these options, for those who decided that we are not partying anymore. Thank you for this reading.
Oh, nice. What was in the N/A drink that you loved?
It was mostly green tea with a 1/4 of lemonade. It had the right combination of tartness and sweetness. They also had other N/A drinks as well as N/A craft beers. And reasonably priced.
Sounds great.
I would love to see more NA and low/lower alcohol options in bars and restaurants--especially ones that aren't overly sweet and lend to sipping. I make aperol spritzes with real Aperol but AF sparkling wine, for example, and make regular ones for my friends. My favorite NA spirit is an NA Negroni made with Ritual Aperitif Alternative.
I'll look up Ritual...
Not to be a downer but I discovered that the NA spirits (like, say, Ritual’s Tequila alternative, expire just 12 weeks after opening. I might only want to make a handful of NA margaritas during that time period and it just seems so wasteful to throw the rest out. I stopped buying Seedlip and Ritual products for this reason.
Having worked in consumer products companies, I'm suspicious of "best by" dates and have kept mine longer in the fridge. But freezing could be better as the commenter below mentions. https://www.insidehook.com/drinks/zero-proof-spirits-expiration
Could you portion them into small bottles and freeze? Alcohol is a potent preservative, so alternatives are required. I sure don’t want preservative chemicals in place of. Good luck!
Interesting. Thanks for the info.
I live in a city where I have to drive most places, and my low tolerance and antidepressant usage means I start to feel dizzy after even small amounts of alcohol. I’m very fortunate that I can take or leave it. So I leave it.
My daughter goes to college in Utah. There’s a whole soda culture there, probably because coffee and alcohol are off the table for the LDS patrons. If more bars and restaurants made this available, I’d be giving them much more money.
I’m 72 years old. I was a daily drinker for 20 years. Everyday from 4:00 till about 8:30 I would have a combination of wine and scotch. I was smart enough if I was driving I would limit to one maybe two cocktails depending on how long I’d be at an event. But when I returned home I would have a few more unless it was late and time for bed. I never felt like I had to have a drink, I just did . Everyday. Never was “ hungover” I was but just was my new normal so I adjusted to that feeling of being tired all the time. Seldom the stereotypical hangover with vomiting and a splitting headache but “ hungover “ nonetheless. Three plus years ago I attended a funeral of my wife’s family. 57 years old retired had lots to live for. Money, wife, family. His daily routine was 1 lb of bacon in the morning, Bloody Mary, then a combination of cocktails and weed. Heart disease runs in the family and he had a few scares but not enough to curtail his lifestyle. One day goes in after experiencing complications and never makes it back. 57 f-ing years old! At his funeral I’m now drinking enough that I have moderate shaking throughout the day. Hands all a flutter. Can’t sign the guestbook shaking that bad. His brother walks in aided by his two sons holding him up during to a stroke he had the year before. He lived the same lifestyle as his brother although he sought help and was sober for a number of years before his stroke. But the damage was done to his body and it caught up with him. So, looking at this scene plating out right in front of me I said to myself” self if this isn’t your wake up call then you deserve the same fate as these brothers “! After the funeral, I told my wife I’ve had my last drink, you do what you want but I’m done. She still drinks and I fear what lies ahead for her. I expressed my feelings about it to her but in the end she has to want it. She’s not there yet I guess. I just hope she comes to her senses and at least moderates. Well, it’s been almost 4 years now for me never felt better haven’t had any lapses so I’m lucky. Good luck to all that are trying to quit as I know I must be an anomaly.
Each in our own time. Glad you're feeling better. Thanks for weighing in.
I have almost entirely quit drinking due to seeing the really horrific effects of alcoholism on my friends and family (that no one really wants to talk about) and also the new reports on alcohol and cancer. Drinking and alcoholism just aren't funny to me anymore. I'm hoping that eventually we booze will go the way of the cigarette, but I know that will take a long time.
Excessive drinking is a risk factor in getting dementia as well. Nobody wants to sign up for that!
I have always enjoyed the mixology of cocktails and a good glass of wine, but have paired back my drinking considerably in my 50’s. For no other reason than I just drink less and feel better when I do. Recently when at a place that has no mock-tails I order bitters and club soda. It is very simple, bars always have it, the taste is complex without being fussy. And no sugar. It is also something you can’t drink quickly, which I think is always the problem with mock-tails. Too sweet, heavily juiced mock-tails are too easy to drink, and cocktails are meant to enjoy at leisure, which is what I like about them. So having something that is refreshing but also a sipper is important for me.
I had a bitters-and-soda phase until I realized the ones they have at bars are like 70% proof. I have heard there are some good N/A bitters out there, though...
I believe the amount of alcohol in a bitters-and-soda is about the same as in an N/A beer - almost none! (Less than 0.5%) And the bitters themselves are typically 35-45% ABV (same as vanilla extract!)
I’ve never used Angostura bitters in any way other than a few drops -so intense. Are they pouring them in that drink??? Wow.
I made some fir tree extracts with the barks as bitters (in 44proof alcohol) but again, use only drops. Also sprayed my mattress when turning it. So fragrant and clean smelling.
I have to instruct the bartender how many "shakes" to put in my bitters and soda. (I don't drink but will choose this option on occasion.) Sometimes when I order it the glass comes out completely brown! It's like bartenders can't imagine that you might not be trying to get as drunk as possible?
There are also nonalcoholic bitters that are available in travel sizes available from "All the Bitters." Order soda, shake in your own bitters from your purse, problem solved!
Googling "All the Bitters"!
Love this fantastically informative post, which I’ve bookmarked for ideas! For me, back in my 5os I met the man with whom I’d apparently been hoping to meet my entire life. An Irish guy with a proclivity for gin &tonics, which I joined in downing with gusto! I’m an ex-music-journalist whose adventures in rock&roll meant my goal was to always prove I could keep up with the guys because misogyny. Patriarchy. Er, my insecurity to belong? Yes, all that. So with this new guy I was keeping up the front as a drinker. The problem: I was feeling crappier and crappier the next day and he and I were losing hours&hours of real communication. I realized I wanted to actually know him and make memories that weren’t hungover hazy. Time felt short. I was acknowledging the oldster in me. We took a five-year break from alcohol. Our drink of choice: sugar-free tonic with a slice of lime, which simulated a G&T. I have continued past our five-year mark (which was 10 years ago) with the occasional wine, etc., then I’m reminded the next day why I don’t care for drinking. My partner went back to drinking and it’s been a definite source of tension in our relationship as I see him disappear from me after a couple of glasses (or cocktails). (Hello, therapy.) And although he has hangovers, he isn’t yet done with drinking, although he has stepped away for the last week and it seems like that might last for a while.
Anywho, I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time investigating low-alcohol wine varietals (muscato is one) but to your point, too few restaurants offer non- or low-alcohol options. One of my pet peeves is that too often a mocktail is set down in a tall glass with a bright straw that signals either “I am 12” or “I am sober& maybe boring.” While my partner has a rocks glass with an amber liquid and a solid square ice cube that gives George-Clooney cool. It makes me mad.
This is all to say that yes, establishments are really blowing it by not understanding the new shift toward interesting nonalcoholic beverages. Mixologists could have fun adding to their repertoire.
Tost is great. Zero-alcohol IPAs are excellent. Noughty is great too. I look forward to sampling the other suggestions on your list (&in the comments) as well.
Thanks for the post and feel better!!
Thanks for chiming in, Lauren. You've reminded me of my days fronting as a music journalist and hanging out with all the wrong dudes. I feel the same way about the way those overly sweet mocktails look. They appear and taste like children's drinks.
I gave up on most mocktails for the same reason I gave up booze: they're not good for me. I just order seltzer and drink something better at home. Aplos is really good but never available in restaurants. The other thing that's really hard to find in most restaurants is vegetarian options. Meat in the appetizers, salads and entrees. There's often one token dish but if you frequent a restaurant, that gets old.
I'll check out Aplos! PS As someone who needs to avoid gluten, I feel you on the limited options. Too many restaurants think I should just be satisfied with lettuce.
Agreed!
As a Gen Xer, with over three decades in hospitality - a large portion of which were spent as a sommelier, and wine bar owner - I completely agree. In Dec’24 I crossed a year alcohol free and a large part of my work now is educating and building zero proof programs in restaurants and retail. Because it’s a part of inclusive hospitality and to your point that doesn’t mean one sugar non-alc cocktail grouped in with soda, tea and coffee.
I also wrote a piece in October about the opportunities for the wine world to embrace dealcoholized options in their portfolios; and wrote another piece just yesterday about big alcohol continuing to get in on the consumer evolution. Would love to share in the thread - with permission of course. Thank you for using your platform to talk about an important topic in hospitality.
Thank you, Liz. This is very validating for me. Yes, please share those pieces in response to this comment!
Thank you, Sari! I appreciate it, and the opportunity to share. Your piece is also validating me and my work - so double thank you!
Two Ways to Wine: https://luncheonette.substack.com/p/come-together
Another Round: https://luncheonette.substack.com/p/another-round-d93
Quit drinking last August prior to turning 56. Best decision I ever made, for many reasons. I won’t be going back because I know I can’t. Moderation and me just don’t get along.
Glad that worked for you.