This is 89: Author and Holocaust Survivor Alfred J. Lakritz Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
"I am happy that I’ve survived mentally and physically. I can look back at the obstacles I had to deal with and confront during my life and appreciate that I overcame them."
From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”
Here, author, former lawyer, and Holocaust survivor Alfred J. Lakritz responds. -Sari Botton
Alfred J. Lakritz was a member of the State Bar of California for 49 years. As a general practice attorney, he served pro bono as a mediator and arbitrator on complex legal matters in Los Angeles Superior Courts. Born in Kiel, Germany, he survived the Holocaust and immigrated with his brother and mother to the United States and settled in California, where he learned English and graduated from Oakland Technical High School, the University of California at Berkeley, as well as Berkeley Law, one of the nation’s premier law schools. Alfred married his college sweetheart, Judy, and is the proud father of two children and the grandfather of four. They now live in Calabasas, California.
His first book is Adieu: A Memoir of Holocaust Survival—an inspiring and moving memoir chronicling his painful separation from his parents, who relied on the kindness of strangers to save Alfred and his brother Herbert from the Nazis. For years, the boys were hidden in occupied France in homes, secluded farms, and even in Lourdes to avoid the enemy and their ever-present collaborators. Simche, their Orthodox Jewish father who secretly worked for the French Resistance, was arrested and deported to Nazi internment and death camps, where he was murdered after six months of hard labor. His devoted wife, Marjem, waited in vain for his return; her only clue was a postcard imploring his family to have courage and bidding them “adieu.” Years later, the brothers were miraculously reunited with their mother, and they could finally emigrate to the United States to start a new life. Despite the tragedies he endured, Alfred never gave up hope. His life in America became the epitome of the American Dream.
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How old are you?
I am 89 years old.
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why do you think?
I associate myself with the age of 84. That Is the age that I retired from the practice of law. I worked for years as a lawyer with enthusiasm and fulfillment to support my family, to aid my clients who needed support and a voice, and to work to provide justice to those who needed it.
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
I do feel young for my age and in relation to other people I know who are a similar age.
What do you like about being your age?
I am thrilled that I’ve reached this age. I am happy that I’ve survived mentally and physically. I can look back at the obstacles I had to deal with and confront during my life and appreciate that I overcame them. I am an achiever.
I am surprised by the fact that I feel intellectually and mentally the same as I did 20 or 30 years ago. This is especially surprising given the complexities of life at this age.
What is difficult about being your age?
The most difficult thing about being 89 is that I don’t have the same physical capacities. I still have my mental capacities, but I don’t have the physical capacities that I was used to through most of my life.
The second most difficult thing is the lack of involvement in social and educational matters, which had been very meaningful to me. I was an active and involved person. That I miss.
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
I am surprised by the fact that I feel intellectually and mentally the same as I did 20 or 30 years ago. This is especially surprising given the complexities of life at this age.
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
Of course, I am grateful to be alive at this point in my life. Aging has given me perspective. I overcame many challenges in my life, and I succeeded. I acknowledge the strength that allowed me to do so and am so grateful for that. Someone who has survived the Holocaust and other obstacles in their life, as I have, has every justification for being an angry and bitter person. I am grateful that as I age, I have the perspective not to be.
So much injustice was done to me, but counterbalancing that was so much justice done for me and on my behalf. As I age, I appreciate that, and am thankful for that more and more.
I feel that aging has taken away the physical capabilities that I enjoyed for years. I enjoyed jogging and playing golf, but those activities are not really possible now.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
I miss the challenges that posed themselves to me in my life as a lawyer. Being an attorney gave my life such purpose in my pursuit of justice for my clients. I faced many challenges, but I met them. I do miss that part of my daily existence.
Someone who has survived the Holocaust and other obstacles in their life, as I have, has every justification for being an angry and bitter person. I am grateful that as I age, I have the perspective not to be.
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you missed and might try to reach later.
Publishing my first book before I turn 90.
What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?
My favorite age was perhaps during my 40s. It was the time when I was the most active and felt so vital. I was working hard for my clients, and I was also on the board of our regional Girl Scout Troops, involved with the B’nai Brith, and physically active. And, of course, I would go back to that time if I could.
What aging-related adjustments have you recently made?
With my retirement from law and then the onset of the pandemic, I decided I didn’t need to shave every day. Now, I have a beard and mustache, and I love not having to shave.
What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?
I refuse to accept that I am getting older! I resent that I am!
So much injustice was done to me, but counterbalancing that was so much justice done for me and on my behalf. As I age, I appreciate that, and am thankful for that more and more.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult?
I love to celebrate birthdays, and doing so serves a purpose. Yes, family gets together, and that is the greatest joy, and it shows that you survived another year. Maybe you will survive the next year and the year after that. It’s a time filled with optimism, not pessimism.
The quote you called out here is the one I wanted to call attention to, too:
"So much injustice was done to me, but counterbalancing that was so much justice done for me and on my behalf."
Incredible perspective.
I enjoyed this and found the last line touching and inspiring - "It's a time filled with optimism, not pessimism." To read that quote from anyone, at any age, would be lovely. But from an 89 year old, whose life provided all too many reasons to feel pessimistic, but chooses optimism instead - how beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.