"Last year, I changed my name from Beverly to Bella and it has made a big difference. I’ve never felt like a Beverly but now with my name Bella, it feels like it belongs to me."
You have an openness I've never had with people. My husband and best friend, died 4-1/2 years ago. We did everything together, hike, fish, garden, play guitar, an dindividual created art. So when he suddenly got cancer at 66, I had no one, and no children. That's called putting all your eggs in one basket. We had not been accepted by family, as we were raised in different faiths. But we sure had wonderful times, and rescued cats for years. I love Bella's joy and strive to be a bit more open. Thank you!
It’s so galling that institutions that purport to enforce “god’s love” their own way and only their way have such hateful practices and effects. No wonder in our diverse country they are declining.
You can remember the wonderful times which can bring you much pleasure, and I hope you find a way to have wonderful times for yourself in the present, Diane.
Thank you Bella! A sweet, spunky kitten found his way to my door, and now this "cat lady" has three. I vowed no more than two this time around but here we are. One day at a time. 🦋
Kind or nuts! My two 8 year olds are not too keen about this "intruder" so for now he is in his own room with a wooden screen door. Sniffing only! I'd forgotten how energized kittens are. He's so fast which is good. I did want to find him a good home but summer is impossible, so we'll all just have to take it slow. 🌻
I’m very lucky to have found Bella. As I approach my 83rd birthday ,we are spending time ushering at venues throughout the beautiful Berkshires. Fun and enriching experiences.
Yes!!! I am 85 and quite happy—which was a surprise! I thought I would miss being young….butNO… and I think I reslly lived my life so nothing to miss..like reading s reslly good book…loved it …and… would i read it again?
What a beautiful and touching post. The world will fall in love with you Bella, if they hadn't already. And I related to so much. I am almost 69 and today I am fine being wrong; I could not have said that in my 20s. And I too am at peace with my aging skin. I am beginning to look my age, but I don't focus on it, I focus on how I see and how I experience life in each moment- not how others see me. I must have shed the vanity of youth, because I am continuously surprised at how I am experiencing this. Like you, I see beauty in everything and each crease tells its own story. And those wrinkles that aren't so beautiful are still my friends. Wearing my age just feels right. Reading your little story was a glorious way to start my day. Hugs from NY City. xoxoxo
Love this as i can relate - same age, same growing up free, same training as psychologist. I missed painting classes but I am starting a 12 week writing class next week. Important to keep learning, being active and yes, yes to walking. We just talked about taking an extended walk while we still can whether part of the Camino or across the UK or somewhere else. Had a trip on the docket to Japan last year which got canceled and may have to look at that again. San Miguel de Alllende a touchstone as this is where we live, so there's that, and my hunch is I know the coffee shop well. Connections! Yes to those and the research shows the kinds of connections Bella speaks about contribute to longevity. In this final quarter of life its about what we can do that enhances the quality of living, every new day. Today is another!
Gary, I imagine that you’re learning a lot in your writing class. Enjoy!
You and your partner are mighty lucky to live in San Miguel de Allende, where Phil and I hope to return to in the future. What a great place in which to retire.
By the way, the bakery where Phil and I met is Panio.
Mazel Tov and Goodonya Bella. Eighty-six myself, our backgrounds are similar. Brooklyn before it was hip, uneducated parents and a Columbia Phd in sociology. An academic career and the painfully profound loss of to cancer of my life’s love—Fran. We had a wonderful life despite her thirty year’s war with cancer. Her spirit was golden.
But how to explain Juanita? A poet and a painter—lots of losses, but not a widow. We’re going to her favorite town near Toulouse in September and in October in Melbourne I’m opening an Oncology Conference with “Cancer is not a ‘journey’”.
As Hok Bun my dear Hong Kong colleague recently wrote “love is never wrong”.
Thank you Sari. Another friend described it as “joy without dread”. Like Bella, I thought I “needed” a widow(er).
Instead, I found a ‘gay’ divorcee.
Crying is essential and we both do that. But to laugh unworried again is so delightful. I thought it inconceivable.
Acknowledging my confusion, my grief counselor said “so at 86, you are both a grieving widower and a boyfriend at the same time? I can understand how confusing that could be.”
Then he added, “But do you realize how fucking lucky you are?”
My response was “You call that an intervention?”🤷🏼🍉IE
Thank you Susan. When people say “you deserve it”, I don’t agree. It’s luck entirely, but trying to be open to it when it happens. That’s not as easy as it sounds.
Thank you Beverly. We’ve each experience much pain and learned lessons in the process which we bring to each other. My sister says we’re both “growth junkies” and I suspect she’s right. Learning that you are wrong can be exhilarating. It’s taken me 86 years to learn that. In fact it’s thrilling. 🤷🏽 Go know!
Amazing! I love that she talks about, acknowledges, and reapects both the happy and sad times of life. Everyone goes through tough times, but it's the way we react that shows our true essence. Bella is an inspiration!
Sounds like Bella has allowed her creative self to take the lead throughout her life! I try to emulate that as well. By the way, is your husband Phil Palladino of Austerlitz, NY? If not, he’s a doppelgänger. If yes, Hi Phil, from your old writing friend, Sheryl (we studied and wrote together with Colleen Kinder, twice). What a wonderful pair you’d make.
Yay! I just love this news for both of you Phil! From the interview I can tell how perfect you are for eachother. What joyful, inspiring news. Congratulations to both of you on your marriage and creative life together.
Oh my gosh! What an inspiring way to start the day. I'm also a lover of long-form travel and it's so wonderful to hear of another older woman continuing her travels around the world. Many, many more years of adventure, art, and life!
I have the honor and pleasure of being a close friend of Bella’s for 47 years since I was 30 and she was 40 when we met at work. I love what she wrote here-it captured so beautifully her essence. She is an old soul with a child’s spirit. We laugh our heads off together! I have to add something else to her list of amazing positive traits: she is a wonderful friend who gives unconditional love and support. You can tell her anything . What a gift to have a friend like Bella.
I'm definitely hoping I'm a lot like Bella as I age. Even though I'm from a different generation I see several similarities, except she's more chill about aging then I am. Of course like her I new I wanted children from a young age, but unfortunately I've never met a wonderful man to marry and have them with. I'm old enough now that I'll be looked at funny if I still have any, and it will most likely need to be through adoption, but I'm just planning to have enough energy as I age to keep up with them. If I can substitute teach 30 first graders at a time, with fibromyalgia pain, and too little sleep, I'm hoping I can still deal with a couple of my own somewhere in the future. 😃 Bella, you are an inspiration!
You have an openness I've never had with people. My husband and best friend, died 4-1/2 years ago. We did everything together, hike, fish, garden, play guitar, an dindividual created art. So when he suddenly got cancer at 66, I had no one, and no children. That's called putting all your eggs in one basket. We had not been accepted by family, as we were raised in different faiths. But we sure had wonderful times, and rescued cats for years. I love Bella's joy and strive to be a bit more open. Thank you!
It’s so galling that institutions that purport to enforce “god’s love” their own way and only their way have such hateful practices and effects. No wonder in our diverse country they are declining.
Hi Ali, I agree with your comments.
You can remember the wonderful times which can bring you much pleasure, and I hope you find a way to have wonderful times for yourself in the present, Diane.
Thank you Bella! A sweet, spunky kitten found his way to my door, and now this "cat lady" has three. I vowed no more than two this time around but here we are. One day at a time. 🦋
You are so kind to take a third kitten in, and the kitten is so lucky that you opened your door 😻
Kind or nuts! My two 8 year olds are not too keen about this "intruder" so for now he is in his own room with a wooden screen door. Sniffing only! I'd forgotten how energized kittens are. He's so fast which is good. I did want to find him a good home but summer is impossible, so we'll all just have to take it slow. 🌻
In the meantime, the kitten is lucky to be under your care. How lucky! 😺
Yes, very true! Been rescuing for over 30 years! I appreciate your kindness, take care! 🐈🐈⬛🌻
I want to be like Bella!
Me, too!
Here, here! My thoughts exactly!
Thanks for your thoughts, Wini!
Thank you, Douglas.
That is, thank you Doug!
Call me Doug!
Bella is beautiful at every age, enhancing the beauty she creates. Changing her name at this stage is a powerful act of self-definition.
"a powerful act of self-definition" - I love this term so deeply!
Sonia, the older we get, the better we become at self-definition. Bella is a mentor to us all.
Thank you Rona!
Thank you, Rona, for your kind words.
Oh Bella! How inspiring and gracious you are!! Absolutely loved this interview!! Her positivity and love of life’s adventures is beautiful!
Thank you for your loving words, Alice.
I’m very lucky to have found Bella. As I approach my 83rd birthday ,we are spending time ushering at venues throughout the beautiful Berkshires. Fun and enriching experiences.
Yes Yes Yes
Yes!!! I am 85 and quite happy—which was a surprise! I thought I would miss being young….butNO… and I think I reslly lived my life so nothing to miss..like reading s reslly good book…loved it …and… would i read it again?
NOPE!
Andrea, I agree! I try to live each day with the most fulfillment even when bad aspects show up!
Each day is an adventure for me to be with Phil, to learn and explore…
I’m the lucky one to have found Phil!
What a beautiful and touching post. The world will fall in love with you Bella, if they hadn't already. And I related to so much. I am almost 69 and today I am fine being wrong; I could not have said that in my 20s. And I too am at peace with my aging skin. I am beginning to look my age, but I don't focus on it, I focus on how I see and how I experience life in each moment- not how others see me. I must have shed the vanity of youth, because I am continuously surprised at how I am experiencing this. Like you, I see beauty in everything and each crease tells its own story. And those wrinkles that aren't so beautiful are still my friends. Wearing my age just feels right. Reading your little story was a glorious way to start my day. Hugs from NY City. xoxoxo
Andrea! I’m so glad to hear that you have had similar experiences that you can relate to. Hugs back xoxo
Love this as i can relate - same age, same growing up free, same training as psychologist. I missed painting classes but I am starting a 12 week writing class next week. Important to keep learning, being active and yes, yes to walking. We just talked about taking an extended walk while we still can whether part of the Camino or across the UK or somewhere else. Had a trip on the docket to Japan last year which got canceled and may have to look at that again. San Miguel de Alllende a touchstone as this is where we live, so there's that, and my hunch is I know the coffee shop well. Connections! Yes to those and the research shows the kinds of connections Bella speaks about contribute to longevity. In this final quarter of life its about what we can do that enhances the quality of living, every new day. Today is another!
Gary, I imagine that you’re learning a lot in your writing class. Enjoy!
You and your partner are mighty lucky to live in San Miguel de Allende, where Phil and I hope to return to in the future. What a great place in which to retire.
By the way, the bakery where Phil and I met is Panio.
Let us know when you’re coming back to SMA. We live 8 miles north in Rancho Los Labradores.
Thank you, Gary. I promise that I will let you know.
Mazel Tov and Goodonya Bella. Eighty-six myself, our backgrounds are similar. Brooklyn before it was hip, uneducated parents and a Columbia Phd in sociology. An academic career and the painfully profound loss of to cancer of my life’s love—Fran. We had a wonderful life despite her thirty year’s war with cancer. Her spirit was golden.
But how to explain Juanita? A poet and a painter—lots of losses, but not a widow. We’re going to her favorite town near Toulouse in September and in October in Melbourne I’m opening an Oncology Conference with “Cancer is not a ‘journey’”.
As Hok Bun my dear Hong Kong colleague recently wrote “love is never wrong”.
Happy to hear you've found Juanita, Irwin. <3
Thank you Sari. Another friend described it as “joy without dread”. Like Bella, I thought I “needed” a widow(er).
Instead, I found a ‘gay’ divorcee.
Crying is essential and we both do that. But to laugh unworried again is so delightful. I thought it inconceivable.
Acknowledging my confusion, my grief counselor said “so at 86, you are both a grieving widower and a boyfriend at the same time? I can understand how confusing that could be.”
Then he added, “But do you realize how fucking lucky you are?”
My response was “You call that an intervention?”🤷🏼🍉IE
That’s great perspective!
I love that — “Love is never wrong.” Glad you can cry and laugh with someone again!
Thank you Susan. When people say “you deserve it”, I don’t agree. It’s luck entirely, but trying to be open to it when it happens. That’s not as easy as it sounds.
I only know it’s not easy because I’ve been on the wrong end once of someone not open to it! I agree it’s luck entirely.
Susan, I hope that you too will be lucky and find love for yourself.
May it be so! From your mouth to G-d’s ears.
Irwin, you and Juanita are lucky to have found love again. You both seem to be happy on the same traveling page.
Thank you Beverly. We’ve each experience much pain and learned lessons in the process which we bring to each other. My sister says we’re both “growth junkies” and I suspect she’s right. Learning that you are wrong can be exhilarating. It’s taken me 86 years to learn that. In fact it’s thrilling. 🤷🏽 Go know!
Amazing! I love that she talks about, acknowledges, and reapects both the happy and sad times of life. Everyone goes through tough times, but it's the way we react that shows our true essence. Bella is an inspiration!
Gloria, I’m glad that you can identify with my story and find it helpful.
Sounds like Bella has allowed her creative self to take the lead throughout her life! I try to emulate that as well. By the way, is your husband Phil Palladino of Austerlitz, NY? If not, he’s a doppelgänger. If yes, Hi Phil, from your old writing friend, Sheryl (we studied and wrote together with Colleen Kinder, twice). What a wonderful pair you’d make.
Hi Sheryl, yes. I’m Bella’s Phil. Nice to hear from you.How could I forget the writing with Colleen.
Oh, wow!!! Very small world.
Yay! I just love this news for both of you Phil! From the interview I can tell how perfect you are for eachother. What joyful, inspiring news. Congratulations to both of you on your marriage and creative life together.
Thanks so very much, Sheryl, for your sweet wishes.
I wonder…small world.
Oh my gosh! What an inspiring way to start the day. I'm also a lover of long-form travel and it's so wonderful to hear of another older woman continuing her travels around the world. Many, many more years of adventure, art, and life!
Oh Lynda, continue your travels as long as you can! What wonderful adventures are in store for you!
I have the honor and pleasure of being a close friend of Bella’s for 47 years since I was 30 and she was 40 when we met at work. I love what she wrote here-it captured so beautifully her essence. She is an old soul with a child’s spirit. We laugh our heads off together! I have to add something else to her list of amazing positive traits: she is a wonderful friend who gives unconditional love and support. You can tell her anything . What a gift to have a friend like Bella.
Oh, I just love this. Thank you for telling us what a great friend Bella is, Sylvia!
Thanks so very much, Syl 💕
What a lovely interview and woman! I feel buoyant just reading it. Thanks, Bella and Sari.
<3
Thank you so very much, Ruth.
I'm definitely hoping I'm a lot like Bella as I age. Even though I'm from a different generation I see several similarities, except she's more chill about aging then I am. Of course like her I new I wanted children from a young age, but unfortunately I've never met a wonderful man to marry and have them with. I'm old enough now that I'll be looked at funny if I still have any, and it will most likely need to be through adoption, but I'm just planning to have enough energy as I age to keep up with them. If I can substitute teach 30 first graders at a time, with fibromyalgia pain, and too little sleep, I'm hoping I can still deal with a couple of my own somewhere in the future. 😃 Bella, you are an inspiration!
She really is.
Mary, I feel that you will be a wonderful mother if and whenever you decide to adopt.
Lovely and inspiring interview. I feel a rage rising within me at the thought of getting older. Such interviews assuage it.
Glad to hear!
Getting older can feel difficult. I understand, Alice. I’m glad my interview helped you some.
Bowled over by Bella.
Thank you for this injection of inspiration 💞
I’m glad I could be helpful to you, Danusia