This is 86-and-a-Half: Eve France Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
This is 86-and-a-Half: Eve France Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
"Lou Reed was quoted saying that he loved to be dazzled. I decided to find a dazzle a day, even when it is not more than a tiny tulip peeking through the dirt in early Spring."
From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”
Here, retired jewelry designer and shop keeper (and Kim France’s mom) Eve France responds. -Sari Botton
Eve France is a retired jewelry designer and shopkeeper, a mother and a grandmother. She was born in Brooklyn, and moved as a very small child with her family to Houston,Texas. At age 50, divorced and with her children grown, she moved back to New York City, and has lived there ever since. She has always been susceptible to beauty, and loves all forms of art, craft, and design. In her jewelry design, she worked primarily with chain mail, and her pieces were sold at Saks Fifth Avenue, Neiman Marcus, and MoMa, Gallery Lafayette. Her work has been featured in German Vogue, New York Magazine,Essence, the New York Times, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition 2000, with her chain mail bikini on the cover. (She is also the mother of Lucky Magazine founder, Gen X OG, and Oldster contributor , who publishes on Substack.)
--
How old are you?
86 1/2
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
I look at myself in my dim bathroom light and believe when people say I don’t look or move or talk like an 86-year-old. I appreciate the compliments but I am very proud of my age. On the other hand, I certainly have short-term memory loss. I put my phone down and turn around and it takes me 15 minutes to find it. I have always been impulsive and quick and I have fallen more times than I like to remember. I don’t know who most of the new actors are. I have an extreme love and hate of the computer. It keeps changing and upgrading and asking for new passwords. I love the information and hate that it is upgrading, always upgrading. So I sometimes find myself screaming at the computer.
So, yes, I love the compliments, but I know I am 86.
I look at myself in my dim bathroom light and believe when people say I don’t look or move or talk like an 86-year-old…I love the compliments, but I know I am 86.
What do you like about being your age?
My Father, who lived until 97, celebrated with a birthday party every 5 years. My mother lived until 90. My parents were proud of their age. I woke up on my 85th birthday in a celebratory mood. I thought to myself: In my life, I have lost many an umbrella, glove, glasses, even credit cards. I have trouble with pronunciation as I never learned phonics, I don’t spell well, I fall often, I drop things and spill things, but here I am at 85 feeling fit, still curious about so many, many things. While I am saddened about the many problems in the world today, I still find humor and pleasure in the incredibly messy world we live in.
What is difficult about being your age?
My most difficult challenge today is accepting my mortality. “A time to live, a time to die, a time to reap a time to sow…” I have honed my skill at living in the moment, however, what if bad things are happening in the moment?
A wise meditation teacher answered my question, She said, “STOP, acknowledge the difficulty, but do not get stuck spinning about the problem.” So every now and then I wonder, “What, when, how?” But I don’t dwell on it. I have grown to love all the little moments in my life.
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
I am surprised at how interested I still am in going, doing and thinking. And I have many friends in their late 80s who have this same vigor.
My Father, who lived until 97, celebrated with a birthday party every 5 years. My mother lived until 90. My parents were proud of their age.
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
My two favorite things about aging are the “age card,” which I shamelessly use—when someone on the phone is giving me a difficult time, I simply say, “I am 86,” and it works like a charm—and taking a wheelchair at the airport to go through check-in. I know my friends avoid it at all costs. But I find it a plus.
Age has given me some wisdom, greater self-confidence, and the ability to laugh a lot.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
I think I got better as I got older. I grew up in Houston, Texas in an upper middle class Jewish family in the 50’s. So I grew up with certain expectations in that environment that, by my late 30s, I was beginning to question. My decision to move to New York City as I approached 50 allowed me to flourish in a place that felt more like my home, which it was, as I had been born in Brooklyn.
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to?
Everyday, after two cups of coffee, I am alert and feel each day is a milestone.
I woke up on my 85th birthday in a celebratory mood. I thought to myself: In my life, I have lost many an umbrella, glove, glasses, even credit cards. I have trouble with pronunciation as I never learned phonics, I don’t spell well, I fall often, I drop things and spill things, but here I am at 85 feeling fit, still curious about so many things.
What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?
I think my personal growth in my 50s allowed the last 26 years of my life to be my favorite years. I met and married a wonderful man, Howard, when I was 64. We had 14 great years together. He died 9 years ago.
Below is a picture of me at 4 years old with my bunk mates at a sleep away camp. I am the littlest and youngest by at least a year. Even today, when I have self doubts, I take out this picture and look at my 4-year-old self. I am very focused on the audience and loving performing. The older campmates look everywhere and seem confused. I look at the picture which says to me, “You were a spunky little person at that young age,” which reinforces how well I have been able to accept the challenges in my life. And certainly there have been challenges.
Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?
Anyone who is in their 90’s and still is curious, active and has retained a sense of humor. I recently saw a documentary with Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, and Norman Learm and loved how those three took aging and gave it new meaning. To me it was about what is possible as one gets older.
Swimming and walking are my favorite forms of exercise. I loved biking. At 82 I gave up my two-wheeler and bought a tricycle that I wheel around on in Sag Harbor in the summer.
What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?
Beauty-wise, I had one facelift at 50. I get Botox once or twice a year. I let my hair go grey.
Style-wise, I have a closet full of things I love, from my “arty” dressing in my 20 to 40s, to my New York life, where I entered my suit and solid colors (from black to navy and brown) period.
Health-wise is my biggest area of adjustment. I consider taking care of myself my latest career. Swimming and walking are my favorite forms of exercise. I loved biking. At 82 I gave up my two-wheeler and bought a tricycle that I wheel around on in Sag Harbor in the summer. I always have a fiction or non-fiction book I am reading. I play mahjong and solitaire to keep my mind working. And I play poker with eight other women. Two of us are in our mid 80’s. We are all women of a certain age and we have a lot of laughs.
When due, I go to all tests, whether mammogram, cat scan or MRI. I know early detection is critical.
What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?
I reuse to stop looking and feeling. The famous musician Lou Reed was quoted saying that he loved to be dazzled. I decided to find a dazzle a day, even when it is not more than a tiny tulip peeking through the dirt in early Spring.
I play mahjong and solitaire to keep my mind working. And I play poker with eight other women. Two of us are in our mid 80’s. We are all women of a certain age and we have a lot of laughs.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate
yours?
It is very funny with my birthdays—I’ve had some wonderful surprise parties, starting at 16. When I turned 60 and 70 my children threw wonderful parties for me. And sometimes my birthday passed quietly. My philosophy, whether I had a party or not, has been to celebrate my age. I’ve always said what year I was celebrating, particularly since I turned 80.
Yes! A dazzle a day is it for sure. One year, when I did not want to live because of the financial and emotional abyss I was in due to my husband's running away from home and leaving me all his business debts, I determined that every day I had to find one thing a day to be grateful for. Except for one or two days, for a year I succeeded. A kind word from someone, Orion in the hight sky, the light on the leaves of my Japanese Maple. You are my dazzle for today, dear Eve. Thank you.
I love that her best years have been since her 50s! This whole interview made me smile.