This is 76: Novelist Catherine Hiller Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"I am surprised at how little I have really changed since I was 25, and I have the journals to prove it."

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Here, ten-time author Catherine Hiller responds. - Sari Botton

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Catherine Hiller four years ago in Cuba

Catherine Hiller’s 6th novel, Cybill Unbound, about the sexual adventures of an older woman, was published by Heliotrope Books on Valentine’s Day, 2023. Her 2015 book , Just Say Yes: A Marijuana Memoir, was controversial for its endorsement of cannabis. She writes the free Substack newsletter, The Pleasure Principle.

How old are you?

I’m 76.

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think? 

I’m always aware of my real age, because for several years now, I’ve made a point of telling people what it is, as my little part in combatting ageism. I’m proud to have attained my age and to be happy in my life. I think we should be open about our age, so I sometimes just say, when it’s relevant, “I’m 76. How old are you?”

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

Although I’m always aware of being 76, at the same time, I do feel much younger! I feel lively and curious and eager to try new things. I am healthy. My emotions are intense. I am flooded with ideas. And from a little distance or in a dim room, I can pass for . . . middle-aged!

Order Hiller’s latest novel, Cybill Unbound.

What do you like about being your age?

I adore being a grandmother. Being a grandparent, writes Karl Deisseroth in Scientific American is “one of the most rewarding experiences known to humankind.” When I play with my grandchildren, I become a child myself, lost in the moment. I had three sons, so now having two granddaughters is a special treat.

I like being considered an elder, with valuable life experiences and wisdom to impart. But I’m usually just questioned about being at the original Woodstock.

I’m always aware of my real age, because for several years now, I’ve made a point of telling people what it is, as my little part in combatting ageism. I’m proud to have attained my age and to be happy in my life.

What is difficult about being your age?

The hardest thing is having friends and relatives die. Death is closer to me, and I am closer to death. Especially since Covid, I am aware that life is fleeting. My mother lived until she was 98, but my father died at 75.

It’s also hard to feel out of step culturally and to know that younger writers and artists are valued more than their elders. I suppose it’s their turn. . .but still. Although this week my tenth book, Cybill Unbound, was published, I feel I never had my turn. 

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

I am ever surprised at the intensity of my emotions. I am surprised at how little I have really changed since I was 25. . .and I have the journals to prove it. Even my writing style is the same.

Hiller, left, with her ex-husband at the original Woodstock Music Festival in 1969.

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

Aging has given me a deep well of experience and a sense of perspective, but it’s also taken away possibilities. I will never become a playwright or a molecular biologist!

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

I think I’ve become bolder, more confident. I like to talk to strangers, now that it (probably!) won’t be seen as a come-on.

I like being considered an elder, with valuable life experiences and wisdom to impart. But I’m usually just questioned about being at the original Woodstock.

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?

I’ve passed most of the age-related milestones: 50, Social Security, Medicare, 75 (which was a very good year). Now I have my sights on 100.

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

27, 32, 37: the years my children were born. I loved the first year of each of their lives.   

Hiller, right, with Naomi Rosenblatt, editor and publisher of Heliotrope Books, at Hiller’s recent book release party.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

My mother was a radiant woman of wit and warmth and great joie de vivre. She loved life right to the end.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

I have to stay out of the sun for both health and beauty reasons, and that is a real loss because the sun feels so good. I’ve become more devoted to my health routines: I run each weekday morning with the dog. I graze on berries when I’m hungry. At night, I rub retinol into my face: the sting makes me feel it might work. I get a very good night’s sleep.

Aging has given me a deep well of experience and a sense of perspective, but it’s also taken away possibilities. I will never become a playwright or a molecular biologist!

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

I refuse to have a boring personal style. I’ve taken to wearing red cowboy boots over skinny pants.

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?

Every year it’s different, but there’s always good food. At 75, I had a party with my closest friends. At 76, Mark and I went to a local restaurant. Almost all my good friends are avid swimmers, so I sometimes fantasize about having a party where they all swim around me. Maybe at 80!