"My picture of what 72 looks like includes adventure, learning, open mindedness, physical challenges and, I’ll say these words: Love, sex and romance."
This was profoundly moving for me. Joyce, I’m a year younger than you are, and I used to look a little like you, so when you were on the cover of the Times magazine, I identified strongly with you. I want to thank you for so generously opening up your life and sharing this with Sari's readers. Like you, I have been estranged from my adult child for many years, and you describe the pain of the deep wound it leaves about as perfectly as I can imagine. And also the need to grieve that loss so you can live your life with gratitude and joy. I wish every mother who has experienced this could read what you wrote.
I also loved the part about the writing student who wanted to donate her body to a medical school with a letter explaining what her body had been through. I love that so much that I’m actually going to put it into practice.
I loved this so much, and I would like to give a shout out to our small rebel contingent of women who will continue to dye their hair until the end. :)
One of those women. She dyed her orange red hair on her deathbed, because she wanted to look fine when she met her maker. Her Irish blue eyes sparkled like sapphires as she smiled at my mom. That was my Gramma Rose. ❤️
Joyce has always been an inspiration to me since I first met her at a writing retreat in northern Michigan. A wonderful teacher and marvelous writer with boundless energy, something I aspire to.
Hi! It’s been a while! We’re the same age—I love it. My second novel is coming out in October. Keep on keeping on.
I still remember the writing exercise we worked on… something about remembering an embarrassing moment? I raised my hand and said when I dropped my son off for a birthday sleepover on the wrong day, and you kindly said that wasn’t quite what you were looking for.
Much later, I thought of my moment—I was a 10 year old in 1964 in the lunch line at school and the “lunch lady” in her hairnet asked me if my brother got married. I had no clue what she was talking about. I asked my mother and she exploded in anger, saying “I know who that is! You tell her to ask me if she wants to know.” Again, I had no clue and, after all, my big brother had just left for the army.
Well, I found out about 8 months later when my mother took me to meet his wife and their baby. Which also explained why my father had tried to flush my brother’s head down the toilet before he enlisted.
Riveting. Fascinating details and profound advice. I resonated with being the youngest for so long, I’m surprised when I realize I’m by far the eldest in most settings now. My mother’s birthday is the same day! Thanks to you both.
loved the deep and daring honesty from family fronts to the neck! and im so sorry for the estrangement and hope it has a different resolution eventually but maynard's openess and lack of defensiveness is inspiring...onward kathryn
So powerful and so moving, the perfect antidote to today’s news and doomscrolling. Three of your books are on order already! As a lifelong learner who gets a degree every ten years, I’m delighted you returned to Yale at 65, diploma or no diploma! As someone with an estranged daughter, I read that section several times to move from pain through honesty to begin healing. This same four line prayer was suggested by a hospice doctor at my mother’s last bedside, with one more line added: “I forgive you”.
Years ago, Joyce, we were both at Portland's Woodstock as authors. I was so impressed that you went to other authors' talks and asked interested questions that made it clear you had read their books. You were in the audience as a reader, not as a well-known writer.
Dear Sari and Joyce,
This was profoundly moving for me. Joyce, I’m a year younger than you are, and I used to look a little like you, so when you were on the cover of the Times magazine, I identified strongly with you. I want to thank you for so generously opening up your life and sharing this with Sari's readers. Like you, I have been estranged from my adult child for many years, and you describe the pain of the deep wound it leaves about as perfectly as I can imagine. And also the need to grieve that loss so you can live your life with gratitude and joy. I wish every mother who has experienced this could read what you wrote.
I also loved the part about the writing student who wanted to donate her body to a medical school with a letter explaining what her body had been through. I love that so much that I’m actually going to put it into practice.
Wishing you a happy healthy long life.
With love and gratitude,
Barbara Reiss
Hi, Joyce! You’ve shared one or two things here even I didn’t know. I’m listening to your Wonderland audiobook now, and it’s terrific.
<3 <3 <3
Will someone please tell me what this <3 means? Ice cream cone? Clown with handlebar mustache? Less than three? ;)
It’s a heart.
But… but… oh, OK. BTW, the Joyce Maynard interview was enlightening.
I just got the ebook!
Oh my God this interview. So so inspiring. Left me awestruck multiple times. Thank you Sari and thank you Joyce for your openness.
<3
I thought I knew everything about Joyce Maynard but I was wrong! I learned even more here to admire. Thank you!
She’s incredible.
A truly remarkable, resilient woman. It was such a delight to read her responses to the questionnaire.
I loved this so much, and I would like to give a shout out to our small rebel contingent of women who will continue to dye their hair until the end. :)
I might need you to write about that for Oldster!
I would love to!!!!
My grandmother Rose was
One of those women. She dyed her orange red hair on her deathbed, because she wanted to look fine when she met her maker. Her Irish blue eyes sparkled like sapphires as she smiled at my mom. That was my Gramma Rose. ❤️
I love this, also because my middle name is Rose after my mother's beloved Grandmother (and my Grandma Pearl also dyed her hair that orange red :)
What a fantastic, inspiring start to the day reading all this. The honesty, the details, the relatable. Thanks so much for sharing, for everything.
Fascinating and inspiring. Also, now I feel I need one of those Roma caravans!
Joyce has always been an inspiration to me since I first met her at a writing retreat in northern Michigan. A wonderful teacher and marvelous writer with boundless energy, something I aspire to.
Walloon Lake!!! Hello Linda!!!
Hi! It’s been a while! We’re the same age—I love it. My second novel is coming out in October. Keep on keeping on.
I still remember the writing exercise we worked on… something about remembering an embarrassing moment? I raised my hand and said when I dropped my son off for a birthday sleepover on the wrong day, and you kindly said that wasn’t quite what you were looking for.
Much later, I thought of my moment—I was a 10 year old in 1964 in the lunch line at school and the “lunch lady” in her hairnet asked me if my brother got married. I had no clue what she was talking about. I asked my mother and she exploded in anger, saying “I know who that is! You tell her to ask me if she wants to know.” Again, I had no clue and, after all, my big brother had just left for the army.
Well, I found out about 8 months later when my mother took me to meet his wife and their baby. Which also explained why my father had tried to flush my brother’s head down the toilet before he enlisted.
I still need to write about it.
Riveting. Fascinating details and profound advice. I resonated with being the youngest for so long, I’m surprised when I realize I’m by far the eldest in most settings now. My mother’s birthday is the same day! Thanks to you both.
Same here- from baby of the family to oldest in many rooms is a long and interesting journey!
Wouldn’t change it for anything
😂
Same here! I was always the baby - in the family, at work, with friends - and now I’m not. It’s fascinating navigating new stages in life.
Just amazing. Thank you Sari for these columns. Thank you Joyce for your insights.
This was the uplift I needed on a sweltering summer day, when my mind is beyond sodden by the humidity. Such wisdom, elegantly proffered.
loved the deep and daring honesty from family fronts to the neck! and im so sorry for the estrangement and hope it has a different resolution eventually but maynard's openess and lack of defensiveness is inspiring...onward kathryn
<3
Joyce, this was balm for the soul. Much of your life reads like mine. I feel I've found my kin.
So powerful and so moving, the perfect antidote to today’s news and doomscrolling. Three of your books are on order already! As a lifelong learner who gets a degree every ten years, I’m delighted you returned to Yale at 65, diploma or no diploma! As someone with an estranged daughter, I read that section several times to move from pain through honesty to begin healing. This same four line prayer was suggested by a hospice doctor at my mother’s last bedside, with one more line added: “I forgive you”.
What an example of courage, resilience, and bravery! Thanks for letting us into your life. Your Guatamala retreat looks gorgeous.
Years ago, Joyce, we were both at Portland's Woodstock as authors. I was so impressed that you went to other authors' talks and asked interested questions that made it clear you had read their books. You were in the audience as a reader, not as a well-known writer.