This is 68: Author Susan Orlean Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
"I’m glad I had no expectations of what this age would be like. I’d rather be surprised."
From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”
Here, bestselling author, longtime New Yorker staff writer, and newsletterer responds. -Sari Botton
Susan Orlean is a writer. She’s been on staff at The New Yorker since 1992, and has written nine books including The Orchid Thief, The Library Book, and On Animals. She has dabbled in television and film and gardening and parenting. She lives in Los Angeles. She writes the Substack newsletter .
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How old are you?
68
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?
I feel more like 48 than 68. I’m sure some of that is because I had my son very late, so I have loads of friends with kids his age who are in their late 40s and early 50s, but we share so much on account of having similar-aged kids that I feel like we’re the same age. Also, I feel mature but not old, which seems more like 48 than my rather ancient actual age.
Aging has given me a whole storehouse of past experience that can be very comforting and instructive, since I rarely experience something now that doesn’t have some resonance with an occurrence in my past. With that comes perspective—I’m much better at understanding the proportion of an event, when my tendency (especially with disappointments and failures) is to see them as gigantic.
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
Young, for sure. See above! But it’s not just because of my son, who is 19, by the way. It’s because I don’t think about the stuff that’s more typical of people my age. I don’t think about retiring from my work, or moving somewhere for a new old-person chapter of my life. I feel curious and excited about trying new things, both personally and professionally, which makes me feel younger than I am.
What do you like about being your age?
The edgy anxieties of my earlier years are definitely gone. I feel so much more sure of myself, and so much more willing to do what I want to do based on nothing but my own instincts. These are the “fuck it!!” years.
What is difficult about being your age?
Aches and pains. Starting to know too many people who have died or are ill. Not having either of my parents around anymore. Starting to admit that there are certain things I may never get around to. Dry skin.
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
I don’t think I really had any expectations of what this age would be like. I’m the youngest of three siblings, so I’ve always felt like the young one, even though I am no longer young by the world’s standards. But within my family I’m still the young one. I’m glad I had no expectations of what this age would be like. I’d rather be surprised.
The edgy anxieties of my earlier years are definitely gone. I feel so much more sure of myself, and so much more willing to do what I want to do based on nothing but my own instincts. These are the “fuck it!!” years.
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
It’s given me a whole storehouse of past experience that can be very comforting and instructive, since I rarely experience something now that doesn’t have some resonance with an occurrence in my past. With that comes perspective—I’m much better at understanding the proportion of an event, when my tendency (especially with disappointments and failures) is to see them as gigantic. Nowadays I can remember that all of those things do shrivel with time rather than grow. Aging has taken away a certain amount of ambition, which I don’t mind losing, and a certain capacity for frustration. I’m much faster to drop things now than I used to be. But overall I think that’s a good quality, in fact.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
I actually feel like it hasn’t affected me in that way. I still feel like I’m a rookie. I know that contradicts some of what I’ve already said, but I don’t hold myself in higher esteem than I did twenty years ago. My connection to who I am feels constant.
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?
Are there age-related milestones?!? The only one I can think of, at this point in my life, is retirement, and since I don’t really see myself as the retiring kind I don’t look forward to that. I actually dread the thought of it. I do look forward to seeing my son graduate from college and launch himself in the world.
Are there age-related milestones?!? The only one I can think of, at this point in my life, is retirement, and since I don’t really see myself as the retiring kind I don’t look forward to that. I actually dread the thought of it. I do look forward to seeing my son graduate from college and launch himself in the world.
What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?
I’m pretty happy at this age, in terms of feeling settled in myself and content with my life. I wish I were ten or twenty years younger, just so I could look forward to adding that many more years to my longevity, particularly feeling strong and healthy and active. So maybe I’d go back twenty years in physical terms, but not the rest of it. I’m just happier now.
Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?
I was very inspired working around some writers who aged magnificently, namely Lillian Ross and Roger Angell. They just got better, and wiser, and more grounded, but remained brilliant and vital and active. That really inspired me. It was encouraging to see people still doing work they loved well into their much later years. They didn’t pretend to be youngsters. They just remained true to themselves. My real idol, though, was probably my father. He stayed open-minded and engaged in life until the day he died, at 92. He was still working, still reading the news, still curious about new developments in the world. He was amazing.
In 2002, Susan Orlean’s 1998 nonfiction book, The Orchid Thief, was adapted for the screen by Charlie Kaufman, as Adaptation. Orlean was played by Meryl Streep. Trailer below:
What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?
Micro-minis, never again. Crop tops, no. The no-pants trend will not be one I embrace. The truth is, these were never things I wore anyway, so it’s really a continuum. I am much more attuned to my health than I was when I was younger. I’m really determined to exercise regularly, and to be thoughtful about what I eat. I have a not-very-effective immune system, for some reason, so I’m more careful about getting exposed to viruses than in the past. I still wear masks on planes. I get every vaccine that’s offered. I wash my hands a lot.
I don’t use age as an excuse for much of anything. If I don’t feel good or don’t feel like doing something, I don’t do it, but I have a phobia about becoming the person who has a mindset about my age and then lets that determine the way I live. I’m not raging against the light; I’m just attuned to how I really feel and don’t let a calendar tell me what I should do.
What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?
All of them! Well, that’s not entirely accurate, but I don’t baby myself; I don’t use age as an excuse for much of anything. If I don’t feel good or don’t feel like doing something, I don’t do it, but I have a phobia about becoming the person who has a mindset about my age and then lets that determine the way I live. I’m not raging against the light; I’m just attuned to how I really feel and don’t let a calendar tell me what I should do.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?
I’m a birthday hog. I love celebrating them and being celebrated. I haven’t changed that even as I rack up the years. It’s just too much fun to stop.
I believe it is so important to not let a number determine how you feel about yourself. There is already enough ageism around us in the day to day. The pandemic prepared me for spending time with myself and learning to enjoy reading and doing watercolor and not depending upon others to include or exclude me. I am grateful for the perspective that I have at this age 76. Every day is a new first!
I feel much the same as you. I was made redundant at 60 and at the time here in the UK no one wanted people like me not even for menial tasks so I curled up a died then 8 months ago I woke up.I think more like a Phoenix I rose up out of the ashes and at 76 began my life again. I decided to write joined Substack and am about to start a new business aptly named The Yorkshire Fenix. We'll see where that leads. More power to your elbow.