This is 66: 'White Lotus' Executive Producer Mark Kamine Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"I'm at a place career-wise that I'd been striving to get to for many years with a few years left at this level, let's hope."

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Here, author and producer Mark Kamine responds. -Sari Botton

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Mark Kamine at 66. Photo by Fabio Lovino.

Mark Kamine's memoir On Locations, about his early years in the film business, with a focus on The Sopranos, was published by Steerforth Press in February 2024. He is an Emmy winning executive producer of The White Lotus and has worked on films including American Hustle, Silver Linings Playbook and Bad Moms. His reviews and essays have appeared in the Times Literary Supplement, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times Sunday Book Review and The Believer.

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How old are you?

66.

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think? 

I got a late start in a very youth-oriented field, which made me feel self-conscious about my age for a long time. As I moved up that eased off. Now I have no hesitation about saying the number 66.

I haven't been a person who felt like I was still 25 or 35 when I wasn't, and maybe that's partly because of all the time I've spent around young people, and famously beautiful people at that, where it was hard to kid myself while my knees were going bad, or my back was acting up. I do though revisit more readily certain ages — 17, 29, 33, 50 — that line up with what I think of as periods of personal or professional change that felt special at the time and left a big impression in the long run. When I get nostalgic, that's usually where I head.

I haven't been a person who felt like I was still 25 or 35 when I wasn't, and maybe that's partly because of all the time I've spent around young people, and famously beautiful people at that, where it was hard to kid myself while my knees were going bad, or my back was acting up.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

Unlike the people who had peak periods at younger ages, in their 40s or 50s, where they had success and the money that went along with it, I've just gotten here. It certainly made me impatient and envious for a lot more years than I wanted, but now I'd say it was worth the wait. I'm happy where I'm at.

Mark Kamine at home in New Jersey in the early 70s.

What do you like about being your age?

I'm done paying tuition! Joking, kind of, as that was a decade ago. I have a granddaughter, which is pure joy. And as I've said above, I'm at a place career-wise that I'd been striving to get to for many years with a few years left at this level, let's hope. And with more time to write than I had in the past, and with tangible progress made on that side of my life, too. It doesn't solve all problems, but it's nice to reflect on, now and then.

What is difficult about being your age?

There's the physical side. I'm hesitant to do things I readily did even in my 50s, and if I do them I'm more cautious. The sports where your knees matter. Running, squash, skiing, almost any team sport. I pretty much don't do any of that, and I did a lot of it as a kid and young adult.

And, if I may, it's harder to recover from a long night of drinking. I stopped that. And if I forget why I stopped, once a year maybe, I get a solid reminder. I'm not going to pretend I don't miss having more stamina for that. Oh, well.

And then there's the mortality thing, more than creeping up at this point. As the obit ages start to hit above, below, and right around where I'm now charting, it's hard not to keep that in mind.

I am surprised that I still have the drive to do most of the things I have always liked to do, that I still have ambitions, don't feel like sitting back, want to see new films, listen to new music, look at new art, and mainly read anything that sounds close to my range of interest.

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

I'm not sure I was told anything, being a product of the American middle class where feelings were not often discussed, at least not by the generation I grew up under. But I am surprised that I still have the drive to do most of the things I have always liked to do, that I still have ambitions, don't feel like sitting back, want to see new films, listen to new music, look at new art, and mainly read anything that sounds close to my range of interest. It's nice to feel like I'm still open to what comes along, not just what people of my generation are up to.

“My father, Arthur Kamine, in his baseball uniform, Eastside High School, Paterson, NJ, circa 1947.”

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

I am more emotionally aware and more aware of my life-long resistance to feeling my feelings. That had something to do with how men in my generation were raised (not really raised, just shown by the example of our terse, distant fathers). I have benefited from changing attitudes toward masculinity, toward therapy, toward feelings. I even went back into therapy about a year ago after a good fifteen years without it. Talking helps.

It's taken away the usual things. Physically, as I explained earlier. Oh, and like everyone my age I know, I can't always come up with a name or title I'm trying to remember.

I know what I'm good at, what I'm not good at, where I get lazy, where I overreact. I repeat bad behaviors, but I think I do it less — blowing up at the wrong time or at the wrong people because I've let things build up too long, for example. I don't do that as much. And I know how to apologize when I've acted like an idiot.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

I feel like I know myself better than ever. My wife has helped a lot with that, probably because she got tired of living with someone she had to corner to get a real feeling out of. I still resist, but I get it.

As I've mentioned multiple times above, workwise I'm in the best place I've ever been in and that has made me more secure in my identity. And I've been rewarded some for that. And more importantly I know what I'm good at, what I'm not good at, where I get lazy, where I overreact. I repeat bad behaviors, but I think I do it less — blowing up at the wrong time or at the wrong people because I've let things build up too long, for example. I don't do that as much. And I know how to apologize when I've acted like an idiot.

“On my phone as usual with Christian Bale near set during The Fighter, Lowell, MA 2009”

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?

My whole writing career was on a slow drip for years. Now I'm concentrating more on that. I have two more books I'd like to write in this film memoir series, one already started, one I'm collecting material for.

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

I met my wife the same year I got into film school. That's hard to beat. But there was a lot of uncertainty then, too, about how it would work out. That relationship, that change of or commencement of a career. I think I'll stick with where I am.

Left, Kamine with writer Eli Gottlieb and his wife Tana; Right, at the 2022 Emmy Awards with his wife Tana, where he won as executive producer of The White Lotus.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

I love Annie Ernaux as a writer of creative non-fiction. Love how she has stayed active. She published maybe her greatest work, The Years, when she was 68. She's 83 now, still at it. Forget about the Nobel Prize — she still writes about sex!

On the current job, The White Lotus, our boss Mike White has had whomever he could convince get themselves a Whoop, which is a fitness-measuring wristband, that has been very helpful in enforcing the need for steady exercise and proper rest. And it's been a bit competitive and kind of fun, too.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

On film shoots, we can go from very early morning starts, 6am or 7am, to starting at sunset and shooting all night till sunrise. I stopped, to advance on a theme stated above, drinking during the week. Not even one glass of beer or wine, most nights. Can't do that and function properly during the day. I don't want to start the day with less than an optimal amount of sleep or a headache anymore.

Health-wise, a doctor I saw last year said do more weight training, especially lower body-related work, so I've done that. Online classes that combine aerobics and weights, for example. HIIT, etc. And on the current job, The White Lotus, our boss Mike White has had whomever he could convince get themselves a Whoop, which is a fitness-measuring wristband, that has been very helpful in enforcing the need for steady exercise and proper rest. And it's been a bit competitive and kind of fun, too.

Style-wise, 6 or 8 years back, my wife said, "Maybe grow a beard." Because of age spots. Good advice, as it turned out. I've kept that. I find it suitable and way easier than shaving all the time.

Order the book…

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

I still dress a lot in T-shirts, shorts, the usual film crew stuff. Maybe I'm a little old for that? But...it's how everyone dresses on set, unless you're an agent or a lawyer on a visit. I probably went for 20 years owning one suit and one tuxedo. I have a few more now but don't seem to wear them except for events. Am I going to start wearing dress shirts when I retire? Doubt it.

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?

My wife and I have both held parties or traveled somewhere special for the usual big ones, 40, 50, 60, but otherwise I don't do much, don't think about it much. Half the time I'm on a job and we save it for the next time we're together or the closest weekend. When I'm not working and home, I'm happy to have dinner with a few friends.