This is 66: Michael Musto Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"Interestingly, I remember getting made fun of for being 'old' when I was 30, but not now. Either the world has changed or I’m simply radiating something."

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Here, iconic night life and entertainment writer Michael Musto, responds. I first met Michael in the 90s, when I was on the gossip and nightlife beat. A couple of years ago, I had the pleasure of publishing some of his essays at Longreads. - Sari Botton

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Michael Musto at 66, photographed by Andrew Werner.

How old are you?

66

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think? 

I always picture myself at 39—like comic Jack Benny, a reference that probably only my peers will get. My father used to say “Your forties are going to be your best decade.” I never believed him (since I grew up when 30 was considered death), but it turned out he was right. And so, I like to picture myself always being on the cusp of launching into my forties.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

I feel young for my age. I’ve always been connected to current pop culture developments and nightlife, and I hang out with much younger people a lot of the time, but I don’t feel like an old fogey who doesn’t belong. I also feel in step with people my own age, because we’ve shared so many experiences and references together. So I feel young for my age, but not so much so that my peers can’t relate to me. It’s a good way to be 66.

I’ve always been connected to current pop culture developments and nightlife, and I hang out with much younger people a lot of the time, but I don’t feel like an old fogey who doesn’t belong.

What do you like about being your age?

The respect you get is lovely. People start calling you things like “iconic”. You also amass lots of wisdom about how to behave in certain situations. Documentary producers start to feel that you’ve done it all and know it all.

What is difficult about being your age?

A lot of those who call you “iconic” aren’t sure exactly what you’ve done—they just sort of know you’re somebody who did something or other. And they would never hire you, if they had a chance to. Also, while you have all this wisdom about how to behave, those situations tend to not happen again, so the wisdom is useless. You can try passing it on to someone younger, but they don’t want to hear it any more than I craved advice from my grandparents.

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

I’m surprised to have even gotten here. I never thought the dreaded future would arrive. It was always a distant nightmare looming, but now that it’s here, I have to say it’s not as bad as I imagined. I’m still doing all the things I love, and there’s a new sense of gratitude for the opportunities I’ve been given. Looking back a la Jimmy Stewart in It’s A Wonderful Life lets you see how lucky you’ve been (as well as highlighting whatever good you’ve done).

Musto at the 1964 World’s Fair

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

I’ve learned to be less passive-aggressive and confront irritating things as they happen. I’m much more adept than I used to be at saying something to stop a bad situation, whereas when I was younger, I didn’t feel I had the power to do so and often just let things slip, not knowing how to handle the moment. But one pitfall of aging is that, since you’ve been through so much, including bad stuff, you become more cautious about your choices. You find yourself avoiding certain types of people and situations because they didn’t pan out in the past. That can severely limit your future experiences, but at least you feel safer and less vulnerable.

A lot of those who call you “iconic” aren’t sure exactly what you’ve done—they just sort of know you’re somebody who did something or other. And they would never hire you, if they had a chance to.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

I was always the young one—I entered Columbia at 16—so it took some adjusting, as I eventually turned into one of the older folks in the room. But rather than bring out self consciousness in me, getting older has strangely made me feel more confident. I feel like I have more of a sense of self than I used to, and it’s wonderful to not have to strive all the time. I don’t have to constantly push and pitch to get noticed because I am just, simply, there. And interestingly, I remember getting made fun of for being “old” when I was 30, but not now. Either the world has changed or I’m simply radiating something.

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?

I never planned for any milestones, since I’m not a joiner and don’t do things other people do. And so, I don’t plan on ever fully retiring, since I happen to love writing.

And I also have no intention of getting a dog and learning gardening. The only age-related milestone I expect to eventually do is dying, lol.

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

Twenty-eight was a fascinating age because I almost felt washed up as a writer at that point, but then I landed my column in the Village Voice, and that connection has lasted for decades. (I still write there.) I’d like to relive that moment and savor the excitement of it more because at the time, it was so big that it didn’t quite dawn on me, and I simply immersed myself in the minutiae of the new gig.

I never planned for any milestones, since I’m not a joiner and don’t do things other people do. And so, I don’t plan on ever fully retiring, since I happen to love writing.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

Diana Ross has always been my favorite celebrity because she radiates sparkle and charisma and also has the chops for poignancy and dramatic acting. (She was Oscar nominated for 1972’s Lady Sings The Blues.) At 78, she is as gorgeous and talented as she ever was. I want to age like Diana Ross.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

I sleep more, I wear more layers, and I try not to look in a mirror in bright lights. My arms have turned into cheesecloth from getting every injection I’m available for (pneumonia, tetanus, shingles, etc.) and I also take fish oil pills and try not to eat that much salt, but otherwise, since I never indulged in a lot of unhealthy habits in the first place, not that much has really changed.

Musto riding his bike in New York City last summer. Robert Kamau/Getty Images

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

You’re probably not supposed to ride a bike anymore, especially around the potentially deadly streets of New York City, but I can’t help myself. Toddling around on my two-wheeler is one of my greatest joys—it’s entertaining, great exercise and it makes me always punctual—and I now have an e-bike to make it even easier.

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?

I always thought it was dumb to celebrate birthdays because you’re basically honoring the fact that you survived another year. Big deal. I’d rather celebrate an actual accomplishment, like a book deal. So, while I used to overcompensate by having gala, celebrity-hosted birthday bashes in nightclubs, I now just do an intimate dinner with friends, and that’s it. And I refuse to allow any cake with candles and singing. Humiliating!

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Michael Musto is a longtime entertainment and nightlife writer for the Village Voice. Musto has written four books, appeared on countless TV channels and streaming services, and has been named one of the Out 100 of the most influential LGBTQs in the country.