This is 65: "Journeyman" Marlon Weems Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
"In a way, aging is all about wisdom and time. Aging allows you to accumulate one in exchange for losing the other."
From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire™.”
Here, finance writer, newsletter author, and former Wall Street executive responds. -Sari Botton
spent over 30 years in the finance industry, beginning in the early 80s in Little Rock, Arkansas. In the mid-90s, he founded the state’s first African American-owned asset management firm and later started the state’s first Black-owned investment bank. He went on to hold several leadership positions on Wall Street.
In 2012, he moved to North Carolina and began his writing career as an expert in capital markets analysis. A few years ago, he started , a Substack newsletter that explores the intersection of American culture, politics, and anti-Black racism.
In addition to his newsletter, Marlon still takes on the occasional freelance project. Last fall, he authored a deep-dive report on applications for blockchain technology in healthcare for Boston Globe Media.
He is currently working on a memoir about his experiences in finance.
How old are you?
I turned 65 last April.
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?
I really don’t spend much time thinking about my age in that way. Let’s just say that although I’m 65, my spirit is younger than that. I still play video games. I’m obsessed with the mobile version of NBA2k and SimCity BuildIt right now. Also, I’ve always loved comic books, so I’m a huge fan of the Marvel series of films.
What’s interesting is that when you turn 65, society reminds you that you’re “old.” It’s constant. As my birthday approached, I started receiving a lot of what I call “old folks marketing.”
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
I definitely feel young for my age. But what’s interesting is that when you turn 65, society reminds you that you’re “old.” It’s constant. As my birthday approached, I started receiving a lot of what I call “old folks marketing.” I got mail from companies that make that chair you sit in to get up a flight of stairs, even cremation services. Not that those things aren’t important, but the way I was marketed to was so stereotypical.
A few years ago, however, my response would’ve been a lot different. I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation (AFib) in late 2018 and was in pretty bad shape for about 18 months. It was like a domino effect; suddenly I had Type 2 diabetes and my kidney function was only about 50%. Things were so bad I was receiving weekly home visits from a nurse. But thanks to good insurance and access to good medical care, I was able to recover.
But that brush with mortality was like staring into the abyss. It made me change my eating habits, and start exercising. Since 2020, I’ve lost over a 125 pounds. My health improved so much my doctor says it’s as though my body is going in reverse.
What do you like about being your age?
The senior discounts, of course! No, seriously, it’s the freedom to be who I am. I don’t mean it as a license to be hateful or intolerant. I’m just more honest with myself about my values, and what’s important to me. I worry less about what other people think than in the past.
For example, when I started writing capital markets research 10 years ago, I was concerned people wouldn’t accept me as an expert. Around the same time, a former colleague suggested I start a newsletter. I didn’t do it, partly out of concern that my progressive opinions might cost me job opportunities, but also because I was unsure of myself. I did think I was good enough.
Mind you, I spent about 30 years in the finance industry. I ran some complex businesses. I witnessed several bubbles, market disruptions, firsthand. I suppose you could call it imposter syndrome.
That brush with mortality was like staring into the abyss. It made me change my eating habits, and start exercising. Since 2020, I’ve lost over a 125 pounds. My health improved so much my doctor says it’s as though my body is going in reverse.
What is difficult about being your age?
Probably the most difficult thing for me to accept was the level of discrimination that came with aging. It’s more prevalent than I expected. When we relocated to North Carolina in 2012, I thought my Wall Street pedigree would carry a lot of weight in terms of employment opportunities.
Although I ran a trading desk in New York, I had a tough time just getting interviews in North Carolina. People said I was “overqualified,” which felt a lot like code for “too old.” Since I’m Black, I feel like racism was also a factor, but I think being in my mid-50s really hurt my employment chances. The combination was kind of a double whammy.
Another thing about getting to be my age is knowing most of life is behind me, and how our existence is so finite. Sometimes I weigh the odds of being around to see certain life events, like seeing my children reach their 30s. I try not to dwell on it, but it’s there.
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
I think about how different being 65 is now compared to when my parents were the same age. I don’t remember ever seeing either of them exercise. We had a pool, but they never used it. Neither of them even owned a pair of athletic shoes. I’m around my parents’ age when they passed away, and it’s all so different for me.
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
In a way, aging is all about wisdom and time. Aging allows you to accumulate one in exchange for losing the other.
Although I ran a trading desk in New York, I had a tough time just getting interviews in North Carolina. People said I was “overqualified,” which felt a lot like code for “too old.” Since I’m Black, I feel like racism was also a factor, but I think being in my mid-50s really hurt my employment chances. The combination was kind of a double whammy.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
I think I’ve done a lot better job assessing my self-worth as I’ve gotten older.
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?
Most of my important milestones I think of revolve around my family. My daughter turned 20 this year, and she’s moving out on her own. My youngest son turns 18 later this year. He’s about to be a senior in high school. In a couple of years, my wife and I will have been married 30 years. In the end, those are the things that matter.
What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?
I think turning 21 probably was my favorite age, because that’s when I felt like a legitimate adult. I remember going to a bar and not using a fake ID. Looking back, it seems pretty shallow, but at the time it was a big deal. Would I go back to that age if I could? Only if I could take everything I know now with me. Otherwise, hell no. I was on my way to flunking out of college and had no idea what I’d do next.
Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?
Actors are the people who come to mind because we get to watch the good ones age over the course of their careers. Both Samuel L. Jackson and Harrison Ford are pretty inspiring. I hope I can be as sharp as they seem when I’m their age. As far as aging idols go, I really admire actors like Angela Bassett and Helen Mirren. They’re different ages, but both seem almost ageless.
Acknowledging my physical limitations was probably the hardest hurdle for me to overcome. A few months ago, I started lifting weights with my son who’s in high school. It was my first time in a gym in years. I really had to put my ego aside and acknowledge that I couldn’t do what I did in the weight room twenty years ago. It was quite humbling.
What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?
Acknowledging my physical limitations was probably the hardest hurdle for me to overcome. A few months ago, I started lifting weights with my son who’s in high school. It was my first time in a gym in years. I really had to put my ego aside and acknowledge that I couldn’t do what I did in the weight room twenty years ago. It was quite humbling.
My personal style has really evolved. Most folks I know who are my age don’t dress the way I do. It’s dramatically different than it was when I worked in New York. In my old career expensive clothes were a requirement. I wore tailored suits and shirts; I wore pricey Rolex watches.
We live in a beach town in North Carolina now, and I don’t even own a suit anymore. It’s just not practical. My style now is hoodies, t-shirts, Nikes and flip flops. The other day a teenager complemented my t-shirt from The Last of Us video game. Most people my age have no idea what that even means.
That said, I do still have about a dozen custom French cuffed shirts I wear on special occasions.
What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?
I don’t have a problem with aging, but I refuse to ever become old.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?
I welcome my birthdays, considering the alternative. On the other hand, I don’t do big birthday parties or gifts. When I turned 65 last April, we went to the theater to see my daughter's play, then had dinner with some friends afterward. That’s what it’s all about.
What a wonderful interview! I have to chuckle because, at 75, I caught myself saying, "I wish I could go back to how I looked & felt at 65"! ...
Then I thought about the absurdity of that & had a good laugh at myself. 😄😆🤣😭
Its all relative, I suppose.
My favorite nugget is "Aging is about wisdom and time. Aging is all about accumulating one in exchange for the other."
Carry on living the good life, Marlon. Namasté
Hopefully living near the beach and fresh air will also help age you in reverse. Sounds wonderful!! Enjoy the precious time with your family!