This is 65: Filmmaker Finn Taylor Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"I dress more ridiculously than ever before...If I'm smiling or laughing at myself, maybe I'll get to share a laugh with someone else, too."

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Here, filmmaker Finn Taylor responds. -Sari Botton

---

Finn Taylor, 65.

Finn Taylor is a writer and director of six feature films, and a three-time Sundance Film Festival alum. His films have appeared in numerous festivals around the world and have been sold and distributed by Sony Picture Classics, StudioCanal, Fine Line, Lakeshore, and Paramount. Taylor’s film Kannapolis: A Moving Portrait was shown at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the National Gallery. Variety, in its 50th Anniversary edition, selected Taylor for its prestigious list of "The Top 20 Creatives to Watch." Taylor was a film juror for the San Francisco International Film festival in 2002, and a juror for the IFP Market's emerging screenwriter award in 2006. His current film, Avenue of the Giants, is on the festival circuit.

How old are you?

65

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?  

I think in my late 20s to early 30s, there was just enough liberation from self doubt or imagining what others might think of me. 

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?  

Maybe young in humor and joy. While I feel my body's changes, I enjoy the process of pushing limits within my abilities. 

My extended family—from ages 18 to 73—just completed a bike ride from upstate New York to Manhattan. Each day was a major push but two of my 20something nephews and I rode the whole way. 

Age has given me a change in the way I experience compassion. I always felt caring, but I was so imprisoned by my own perspective, my lens and projections, when I was young.  Age has given me compassion through knowing that I don't know. 

What do you like about being your age?  

Perspective of a full life with twists and turns, knowledge born from scars. Priorities changing: Ambition replaced by interest in others, their stories, their laughter. I meet so many day-to-day heroes, who rescue others with jokes, and small kindnesses. 

What is difficult about being your age?

Adapting to the meteoric pace of societal/ technical change. A lessening of public experience post-pandemic and the new reliance on contactless everything. 

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?  

Experience and some knowledge do come with age, but I still feel so much like a kid in so many ways.  

What has aging given you? Taken away from you? 

Age has given me a change in the way I experience compassion. I always felt caring, but I was so imprisoned by my own perspective, my lens and projections, when I was young.  Age has given me compassion through knowing that I don't know. 

Taylor in his late 40s, on the set of his 1997 feature film, Dream with the Fishes.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?  

I think I've become more of a naturist through time. I feel more and more like a stage in an interconnected community of a forest or planet. The cells that comprise us are around us.   

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?  

I think with film you have these five-year cycles of film written, produced, edited, seen.  I'm in a way trying to give more heed to other goals, physical challenges which I've taken on. I now play in a band mainly comprised of people younger than me. I'm finding ways to be creative and joyful that don't have to be on a professional level. Just a vulnerable dance of collaboration. I try to make room for priorities that don't have to be "right", "normal", or even make sense. I'm trying to make room for even my quietest curious voices. Ones perhaps previously dismissed out of fear. 

With friends, especially long-distance ones, I refuse to let texts replace meaningful phone calls. I need to hear the voice, the laugh, the catching of the throat when near tears. The gaps in speech when we share shyness or fear. 

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?  

I know it sounds corny but I think my favorite age is right now. I don't have a big desire to go back, or regret or recreate. I have many old and new friends and good memories that can feel like a time machine. I do, however, want my machine to go to the future, not just the past. 

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you Who is your aging idol and why?

The subject of our latest film, Avenue of the Giants, is a 74-year old man named Herbert Heller, who always maintained humor. He always seemed to grow, and generously shared his intense story of survival with young people. He did so with grace and understanding. So he used his scars to help others heal. 

The poster for Avenue of the Giants, now on the festival circuit.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise? 

Well, I don't know about beauty, but I am really committed to consistent exercise. I attempt to take things less seriously. 

I dress more ridiculously than ever before. If I see a bright cap I buy it.  If I see a loud shirt I wear it. If I'm smiling or laughing at myself, maybe I'll get to share a laugh with someone else, too.  

I now play in a band mainly comprised of people younger than me. I'm finding ways to be creative and joyful that don't have to be on a professional level. Just a vulnerable dance of collaboration.

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?  

With friends, especially long-distance ones, I refuse to let texts replace meaningful phone calls. I need to hear the voice, the laugh, the catching of the throat when near tears. The gaps in speech when we share shyness or fear. 

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?  

Usually cooking vegan meals and playing music with friends whenever possible, sometimes a long bike ride.