This is 63: Rock Journalist Will Hermes Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
"Age = bragging rights for having seen lots of great bands back in the day."
From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”
Here, culture journalist, rock critic, and author Will Hermes responds. -Sari Botton
Will Hermes is a culture journalist, author and teacher. His books included Love Goes To Buildings On Fire (2011) and Lou Reed: The King of New York (2023). He co-edited SPIN: 20 Years of Alternative Music (2005) with Sia Michel. Hermes is a contributing editor at Rolling Stone; a longtime contributor to The New York Times and NPR; and an occasional contributor to Pitchfork, Uncut, and other publications. He’s taught journalism and creative non-fiction at Sarah Lawrence College, SUNY-New Paltz, and the University of Minnesota, and is on the adjunct faculty of the Clive Davis Institute at Tisch/NYU.
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How old are you?
63
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?
Lots of ‘em. Age 12, writing sci-fi scripts with roles for my classmates, in an effort to make friends. Age 17, perfecting my joint-rolling techniques towards similar ends. Age 20, making mixtapes for people, to share my emotional state and view of the world through music. I guess there’s a discernable theme here.
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
Just right. Which is not to say necessarily in step with my peers. For one thing, I have little patience for people rejecting present-day culture because they lived through this or that “golden age.” That sort of closed-mindedness is self-defeating, I think — even dangerous, as we’re seeing with weaponized nostalgia in politics. Be here now.
What do you like about being your age?
Lived historical perspective. The occasional senior discount. The way mounting infirmities make me count my blessings, push me towards better self-care habits, and spur my carpe diem impulses, which feel more sustaining than ever. Also: age = bragging rights for having seen lots of great bands back in the day.
What is difficult about being your age?
Having to spend more money on haircuts and clothing to not look totally shabby.
I have little patience for people rejecting present-day culture because they lived through this or that “golden age.” That sort of closed-mindedness is self-defeating, I think — even dangerous, as we’re seeing with weaponized nostalgia in politics. Be here now.
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
Giving less-than-zero fucks about acting my age, whatever that’s supposed to mean. I’m supposed to give up or dial back the things that give me pleasure? No, thanks.
Will Hermes sometimes deejays with his friend Harlan Levine:
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
It’s allowed me to see my daughter grown into a beautiful adult, and to share my coming-of-age experiences with her (some of them, anyway). Also, it’s allowed me to help mentor younger peers, especially writers. Aging has taken away many of my elders, my mom and dad, and cultural heroes. But I keep myself open to have others fill those gaps in my life.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
I’ve become a bit less self-doubting and self-critical, somewhat less fearful, a good deal more resilient in the face of criticism, less susceptible to the endless FOMO spasms of being a fan and cultural critic living in New York City’s blast radius of creativity. I’m more comfortable in my (dry, sun-sensitive, sagging) skin. I’m more appreciative of the pleasure in moisturizing.
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?
Someday being a grandfather. I never knew either of mine.
What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?
My early- to mid-30s were fun, living in Minneapolis post-grad-school, writing and editing in a thriving arts and music community, and seeing my journalism help support and expand that community. I don’t need or want to return to that age, but I keep the memory of those years in mind as I script my life going forward.
Aging has allowed me to see my daughter grown into a beautiful adult, and to share my coming-of-age experiences with her (some of them, anyway). Also, it’s allowed me to help mentor younger peers, especially writers. Aging has taken away many of my elders, my mom and dad, and cultural heroes. But I keep myself open to have others fill those gaps in my life.
Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?
Quite a few! Lucy Sante, for living her truth in both life and work. Bob Christgau, for staying engaged in pop music and “youth” culture at a high level, on his own terms. Joni Mitchell, for being a pioneer, icon, genius, and for refusing to accept her flowers with merely a smile and a shuffle offstage; refusing to let infirmities sideline her. Bob Dylan, for just not stopping. And plenty of people younger than me, who regularly show me ways to grow older better.
What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?
I asked a friend who works in film and TV costume supervision for on-the-cheap wardrobe-upgrade advice, which I’ve tried to apply, in my hapless way. Also: more yoga, more cycling, more sunscreen!
I’ve become a bit less self-doubting and self-critical, somewhat less fearful, a good deal more resilient in the face of criticism, less susceptible to the endless FOMO spasms of being a fan and cultural critic living in New York City’s blast radius of creativity. I’m more comfortable in my (dry, sun-sensitive, sagging) skin. I’m more appreciative of the pleasure in moisturizing.
What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?
I’m too much of a hedonist to be strict about anything dietary — at least until I’m forced too.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?
I’m a Capricorn, born just after Christmas; since friends were usually out of town, I almost never had parties when I was growing up. But I never craved them. Give me a great meal with my family and whoever else is around, with a worthy bottle or two — I’ll happily count my blessings, and mark off another year.
New York Upstaters: Next Thursday, April 4th at 7pm, come here me in conversation with Will Hermes about his incredible book, Lou Reed: The King of New York, at the Elting Memorial Library in New Paltz, hosted by Inquiring Minds Bookstore. Register here. -Sari
This is a guy I’d like to know. Can you imagine his stories?
I love his self-awareness. And his self-deprecating humor. He’s a gem. I’d love to be sitting next to him at a bar.
So much wisdom with no arrogance to go along with it.
"Aging has taken away many of my elders, my mom and dad, and cultural heroes. But I keep myself open to have others fill those gaps in my life."
Having a lot of holes from missing people in my own life, this is great advice.