This is 62: Leslie Shipman Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"I don’t care how old you are, you have to love a dance floor and a good party if we’re going to hang out."

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Here, Leslie Shipman—founder of The Shipman Agency, which offers an assortment of vital literary services to writers at all stages of their careers—responds. - Sari Botton

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Leslie Shipman at 62.

How old are you?

62

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think? 

I feel like multiple different ages at the same time. Sometimes, like my teenage self who is out to make a better world and actually believes it's possible, and sometimes like my 40-year-old self, the age I was when I got divorced from my college sweetheart. When I look back, I realize that divorce was the beginning of my true adulthood. I think both these ages are important to me because they represent periods of strength alongside anxiety, and somehow maintaining those feelings simultaneously is a powerful elixir.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

I do feel young for my age. Many of my friends are in their 40s or younger. Some of that is a function of my former role at the National Book Foundation, where I put together an after party committee and junior committee to try and bring younger people into the fold and make the place less stuffy. It worked! And many of the people I recruited for those committees are still friends, years after I left the foundation. I do have a few women friends who are actually older than me and I adore them, but honestly, I don’t care how old you are, you have to love a dance floor and a good party if we’re going to hang out.

Sometimes, I feel like my teenage self who is out to make a better world and actually believes it's possible, and sometimes I feel like my 40-year-old self, the age I was when I got divorced from my college sweetheart. When I look back, I realize that divorce was the beginning of my true adulthood.

What do you like about being your age?

Having no fucks left to give, honestly. Knowing what I’m good at, knowing who has my back, knowing that I’ve worked hard my entire life and that I’ve earned my success.

What is difficult about being your age?

Knowing the amount of loss that’s right around the corner. My dear friend and client Dana Levin has many useful thoughts about death, but one of my favorite poems of hers is titled You Will Never Get Death Out of Your System. Can confirm!

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

That I’m having the time of my life! And that’s because I finally achieved the things I always knew would make me happy—being my own boss (I’ve never done well with bosses), working from home and making my own hours, doing work I love that I feel is important, and feeling powerful, which when I was growing up, was not how aging women were perceived.

Shipman at a Pen America Literary Gala at The American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan.

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

Aging has given me a genuine connection to what feels like my authentic self, finally. It took a long time to get here, but I know exactly who I am. The only thing aging has taken away from me is the physical stuff—I’m not going to lie and say I love the ravages of time on my body, but it’s also prompted me to get serious about staying healthy and fit as I grow older.

I’m having the time of my life! And that’s because I finally achieved the things I always knew would make me happy—being my own boss (I’ve never done well with bosses), working from home and making my own hours, doing work I love that I feel is important, and feeling powerful, which when I was growing up, was not how aging women were perceived.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

It’s just strengthened me.

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?

I hit all the expected milestones before I turned 40—marriage, child, house, divorce. The next milestone I’m looking forward to is semi-retirement and traveling as much as possible.

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

I loved my late 40s. I had completed my MFA, was just meeting my current husband, was living on my own in Brooklyn, and I just felt like I was finally becoming myself.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

This is a hard one! There are so many older women who inspire me. I guess the first person who springs to mind is Joni Mitchell. A true original who truly gives no fucks and makes the work she wants to make.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

None really. I dress the same as I dressed in my 30s and 40s. I remember growing up hearing that women over 40 should have short hair, or not wear certain types of clothes and I found that incredibly oppressive to even think about. I do exercise more now and I love fancy face creams.

I remember growing up hearing that women over 40 should have short hair, or not wear certain types of clothes and I found that incredibly oppressive to even think about.

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

Botox and stuff like that. I’m doing my best to accept the slow decay of my physical self.

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate

yours?

Never miss an opportunity to celebrate anything! I celebrate mine with food—usually a night out with my husband and daughter, my two favorite people on the planet.

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Leslie Shipman has spent 30 years promoting writers, and creating and managing literary events in New York City, from the National Book Awards Finalist Reading at the New School to Eat, Drink, and Be Literary at the Brooklyn Academy of Music.

She spent over a decade at the National Book Foundation, (which presents the National Book Award), where she was instrumental in creating events and programs such as 5 Under 35, a prize for promising young novelists, the National Book Awards After Party, Eat, Drink, and Be Literary at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, Innovations in Reading, a prize that promotes community organizations working at the grassroots level to encourage reading across constituencies, and BookUp, an after school program for middle school age students, as well as assembling awards juries. She consulted at PEN America, a leading advocate for free expression, and worked on the PEN Literary Awards, and the PEN World Voices Festival.

A poet with an MFA from the Program for Writers at Warren Wilson College, her work can be found in the Kenyon Review, BOMB, Tinderbox, Mid-American Review, Cosmonauts Avenue and elsewhere. She lives in Ridgewood, Queens with her husband, musician Paul Pimsler, and their dog Junie.