"Aging has given me the wisdom to say, 'I don’t know,' the strength to say 'no,' the gumption to say 'yes,' and the no-fucks-given attitude to keep going in the face of failure, loss, and betrayal."
I promised I would say what I did for my birthday in these comments, so here you go: My partner took me, two of my kids who live here, and one of his two sons, who's here on spring break, out to dinner at a local French restaurant here in Brooklyn that happens to make my all-time favorite dessert, an Île flottante. (Chez Moi, for those who live here...great place, easy on my ears, excellent food, and you must try the île flottante, if you've never had one and even if you have, because oh my god, it's insanely good.) We sat there for three hours, laughing, eating, and catching up. I loved every second.
“We are each, I believe, the matryoshka doll amalgamation of our accumulated years, with each past version of ourselves tucked neatly inside our present self, invisible but present, while our non-hollow core is that same little girl who first shamelessly declared, because society had not yet beaten her down, “I am! And I rock!” and kept going.”
I love Deb's truth telling. This interview felt like such a boost, a shot in the arm, for being a woman in the world right now. The only fuck I have to give: Fuck yeah!
Deborah, you are awesome! I also have a slightly stained dress from a failed marriage stashed in a closet. WTH shall we do with them? I feel like something ritualistic and playful and defiant would be apropos.
Loved this interview! “This is my favorite age now, the one I’m living. I would never want to return to any past version of myself and, anyway, like I said, those past versions live inside me now so I can tap into them whenever I want.” Amen, sister!
Thank you Deborah, I really really enjoyed reading this the honesty and the reality whether male or female we share as we face aging (moi male 67). I often say I would never go back...learning and growing up hurts. I love the words about the lines on your face being yours........I also love the truth around the reverse happening of some attempts to stove off the encroaching menace of age by 'work'. Each to their own for sure, but I confess to the beauty of your take on it all. The birthday sounds great. I relate to the wedding dress dilema and getting rid of stuff with impending silence. The other day I woke up and thought............one day i might not, and I wouldn't know. A nice way to go but.............what about all my stuff my dear wife would have to deal with. Being a creative and across genre and media...............I better get serious about lightening my 'stuff' footprint. So enjoyed your sharing and I say 'cheers'.
Wow this was so inspiring! Thank you for the intro to Deborah whose books I will now be reading. As a woman of the same age newly in love and with a young daughter living in Paris for university, I could relate to so much of what she said, especially the part about living with all the women we have been and are becoming. Beautiful!
Really really really REALLY loved this piece -- and Deborah, you're such an inspiration for your ability to CORRECTLY see that it's rarely the way we're told to expect it -- and sometimes it’s better that way. I thought about Stephen Dobyn's poem How To Like It, which of course Abby Thomas used as inspo for her memoir title, What Comes Next And How To Like It, a line in the poem. That's often how I think about Oldster, Sari, and I LOVE IT! Thx to you both for sharing xoxoAbbe
I promised I would say what I did for my birthday in these comments, so here you go: My partner took me, two of my kids who live here, and one of his two sons, who's here on spring break, out to dinner at a local French restaurant here in Brooklyn that happens to make my all-time favorite dessert, an Île flottante. (Chez Moi, for those who live here...great place, easy on my ears, excellent food, and you must try the île flottante, if you've never had one and even if you have, because oh my god, it's insanely good.) We sat there for three hours, laughing, eating, and catching up. I loved every second.
So beautiful:
“We are each, I believe, the matryoshka doll amalgamation of our accumulated years, with each past version of ourselves tucked neatly inside our present self, invisible but present, while our non-hollow core is that same little girl who first shamelessly declared, because society had not yet beaten her down, “I am! And I rock!” and kept going.”
Inspiring. Getting to that place where you feel as if you are totally, unapologetically your real self. What a gift. And yes, be like Dylan. Rage.
I love Deb's truth telling. This interview felt like such a boost, a shot in the arm, for being a woman in the world right now. The only fuck I have to give: Fuck yeah!
Deborah, you are awesome! I also have a slightly stained dress from a failed marriage stashed in a closet. WTH shall we do with them? I feel like something ritualistic and playful and defiant would be apropos.
The gumption to say yes! Wow this was inspiring in so many ways. I loved her partner's article as well. Thank you for this!
Loved this interview! “This is my favorite age now, the one I’m living. I would never want to return to any past version of myself and, anyway, like I said, those past versions live inside me now so I can tap into them whenever I want.” Amen, sister!
Great interview, thank you!
And yes, definitely the "no-fucks-given attitude" – too bad it took me so long to get there!
Thank you Deborah, I really really enjoyed reading this the honesty and the reality whether male or female we share as we face aging (moi male 67). I often say I would never go back...learning and growing up hurts. I love the words about the lines on your face being yours........I also love the truth around the reverse happening of some attempts to stove off the encroaching menace of age by 'work'. Each to their own for sure, but I confess to the beauty of your take on it all. The birthday sounds great. I relate to the wedding dress dilema and getting rid of stuff with impending silence. The other day I woke up and thought............one day i might not, and I wouldn't know. A nice way to go but.............what about all my stuff my dear wife would have to deal with. Being a creative and across genre and media...............I better get serious about lightening my 'stuff' footprint. So enjoyed your sharing and I say 'cheers'.
Wow this was so inspiring! Thank you for the intro to Deborah whose books I will now be reading. As a woman of the same age newly in love and with a young daughter living in Paris for university, I could relate to so much of what she said, especially the part about living with all the women we have been and are becoming. Beautiful!
This is the best interview I've read all week. Hell, it may be the best I've read in 2024. Thank you.
🔥💕
Really really really REALLY loved this piece -- and Deborah, you're such an inspiration for your ability to CORRECTLY see that it's rarely the way we're told to expect it -- and sometimes it’s better that way. I thought about Stephen Dobyn's poem How To Like It, which of course Abby Thomas used as inspo for her memoir title, What Comes Next And How To Like It, a line in the poem. That's often how I think about Oldster, Sari, and I LOVE IT! Thx to you both for sharing xoxoAbbe
Great interview, Sari! I’ve been an admirer of Deborah’s work since Shutterbabe and love so much about her. Thanks for this series.
Well, this is my favorite one yet. It hit so many resonances for me!
Loved your enthusiasm and honesty. I just want to say ‘Go girl!’ .