This is 57.5: Seth David Branitz Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"At one time I considered anyone over 25 to be washed up and unrelatable. By contrast, I feel as if I’m just finding my stride and that the best is in front of me. "

Sari Botton

Oct 19, 2022

Here, memoirist, singer-songwriter, storyteller, and vegan restaurateur Seth David Branitz responds. - Sari Botton

Left, Branitz at 57; Right, at 4 in 1969, “always the ham.”

Seth David Branitz is the author of a memoir, The Trouble With Kim: On Transcending Despair and Approaching Joy. He’s recorded and performed as songwriter/singer Seth Davis since 2001, is an artist, a father and co-owner of Karma Road, a vegan cafe in the Hudson Valley.

How old are you?

57.5. I think….wait….yeah. 57.5.

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?

I feel half my age, due to equal parts immaturity and denial. I’m a late bloomer and maintain hopes that I’ve had since I was a kid.

I don’t know if I’m in step with peers, but I make a point not to hold myself up against anyone. I find the most destructive and disenfranchising habit is to compare myself to others.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

I feel my age at 7am. Once the gears are moving tho, I don’t think about it any more. What keeps me feeling young is having good work to do and projects to look forward to.

I don’t know if I’m in step with peers, but I make a point not to hold myself up against anyone. I find the most destructive and disenfranchising habit is to compare myself to others. When I do, no matter how I fare, I’ve disconnected and it’s a losing proposition. So I try to appreciate other’s work/station/looks/progress as theirs and to embrace my own. (Easier said than done).

Branitz 14 years ago, at 43, with his two sons. “One thing that my sons taught me is the importance of jumping right into cold water. They’re always watching/learning and I don’t want them to default to my hangups. They’re men now.

What do you like about being your age?

I like that age no longer shocks me. I was horrified at becoming 25, thinking it represented some point of “too-late-ness,” that I’d soon no longer be able to access my youthful energy, do what I’d been put here to do, and that I was hurtling toward death. Being at an age that many consider “old” is odd, but also novel and a relief. I have less to prove. Now it’s less about the number and more about the substance.

What is difficult about being your age?

Watching an ever increasing number of people suffer or die is difficult, but comes with the gift of being older and an ever widening circle of influence. Dealing with cancer sort of thrust me into an ongoing inner conversation about cleaning up my messes, taking better care of myself and living intentionally.

I was horrified at becoming 25, thinking it represented some point of “too-late-ness,” that I’d soon no longer be able to access my youthful energy, do what I’d been put here to do, and that I was hurtling toward death.

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

I’m surprised that me being older is very similar to me being younger, only with a bit of agency, a touch of confidence, a lot of stories to tell, and some gray hair. I’m passionate about the same things and have added a few. At one time I considered anyone over 25 to be washed up and unrelateable. By contrast, I feel as if I’m just finding my stride and that the best is in front of me.

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

Age has given me several crash courses in impermanence. Nothing and no one lasts. The flip side is the gift of gratitude, as I benefit daily from an immense list of things for which I feel quite lucky to have, to experience or to be. Age has taken away my recklessness and apathy. I’m aware that my time here is finite and precious. Also, drawing on my growing database of experience comes in handy on a regular basis.

Left: “Supersethie,” age 5. “I wore this to the dentist, to grandmas, to the store, to bed…..”; Right: Age 13, “Searching for the ‘right’ face.”

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

I dare say that I have a fair sense of who I am and what I’m here for. I used to be brutally hard on myself and had no room for much else. I still find myself unacceptable several times a day, but in a broader sense I like who I’ve become.

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?

I didn’t hit any milestones on schedule. I don’t think that the things I’m looking forward to are age related. (Actually, I do occasionally think about how sweet it must be to have a grandchild).

Dealing with cancer sort of thrust me into an ongoing inner conversation about cleaning up my messes, taking better care of myself and living intentionally.

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

I think 27 was my favorite age. I was super fit, a fog was lifting, I was immersed in creativity, and I fell in love. The years since have been a swirl of challenge and change which I’ve yet to process. Hence, I still feel connected to that age, though I would not go back.

Order Branitz’s memoir, *The Trouble with Kim: On Transcending Despair and Approaching Joy*.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

My dear friend is around 10 years my senior and almost never talks about age, except in terms of practical matters. He’s a prolific musician, dedicated Buddhist, a vegetarian for decades and a big kid, in many ways the most positive person I know. I also love how many artists/musicians I know have aged along with their work. The values borne of rock and roll aren’t just for restless teens anymore and inform grit, courage and beauty at any age. Mine is the first generation who will enter old age having grown up on punk and rock and it’s clear that we’re bringing more colors and coolness along.

Left: Branitz, a singer-songwriter, performing one of his many songs, a few years ago. Right: Branitz at 32 in Long Beach, NY.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

I’ve started to take sleep requirements, the futility of stress, exercise and better fuel/diet into more careful consideration. It’s quite an effort, but not really negotiable.

Mine is the first generation who will enter old age having grown up on punk and rock and it’s clear that we’re bringing more colors and coolness along.

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

I can’t see myself letting go of aspirations simply because they haven’t come to pass or because I’m a person of a certain age. I don’t want to settle down or slow down. I’ve adjusted my stress level but have no desire to take it easy.

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?

I tell everyone I encounter that it’s my birthday. It adds a bit of excitement to their day, gives them the chance to offer me some kindness, and we connect. It’s goofy and probably annoying, but I enjoy this annual gift. I’ve skipped it a couple of times when I was cranky or distracted. I regretted this choice.