"I bought some clippers and took off all my hair, and I stopped messing with my face...I look more like myself than I have ever looked. Because when I look in the mirror, I see someone who is FREE."
"The first half was bound; the second half is free.” I deeply feel this. Today's my 66th birthday, and I'll read, sew, walk my dog, and have dinner with my husband. That's it .. that's all. Free.
Wow! This brought up a lot of feelings for me, especially as someone on the brink of losing her hair from chemo. I don’t think I’m kidding myself when I say that the physical alterations I’ve made in the name of beauty (namely blond hair) have been for me, not to please others. I like the warmth of my altered hair color as much as I like to adorn myself with jewelry and fabrics. These embellishments make me feel like they allow my essence to come through, more so than the random arrangement of physical features I was born with. When my hair goes, I’m glad to have earrings and scarves and lipstick to play with. For me, beauty is self-expression and i appreciate people who allow their beautiful, unique selves to shine, rather than adhering to some arbitrary beauty standard and trying to look like everyone else. I love the wisdom and freedom she’s attained. As we’ve seen time and time again in these Oldster questionnaires, this time of life can be liberating and fun.
The very last paragraph hits me deep in my feels, though the whole thing is grand. I also feel wistful sometimes that I'm unlikely to have a long marriage in this lifetime. Certainly never as long as my parents was-- 52 years. But then I remember that my best friend and I have been together for 39 years, and my other best friend for 37. And they know me better, and love me better than any man I ever spent years of my life with. My life is full of long-term love, AND I don't have to share my bed with someone who snores or likes a different level of covers than I do. I don't have to negotiate money with anyone, or where I want to go on vacation. What a miraculous thing it is, to be a woman in her fifties and free.
"If I had someone like me, I feel certain I never would have married at all." Hah! This! Love it.
I'm a fan of all-age interviews and what you're doing here Sari. Thanks. I'm deeply curious how others have arrived to where they are now. While we all have a story and some milestones are similar in the traditional sense (grief, love, health, work, finances), we all bear witness to life differently.
I feel like I know Elizabeth Gilbert because she taught with my mentors (Art Smith and Marilyn Kallet at UT Knoxville but also because Eat Pray Love saved my life a billion times over after my divorce. Her advice to find one amazing thing every day, instead of looking forward to crying, was life changing. Now rereading Big Magic!
Absolutely loved this interview! I too am in my 50s and childless, and thank goodness that is becoming more readily accepted! Tapping into our 9-year-old self is indeed freeing, and I truly believe a bit of that wonder and free-spiritedness is a key to happiness. PS I recently read City of Girls, it was fabulous! I gifted it to my 70 something friend who grew up in those neighborhoods, and he absolutely loved it too!
god these posts fill me up. i have been drenched and drowning in menopause (and peri- for how long before this I have no idea) and today's post provided some necessary buoyancy. especially felt power in this line: (At least until menopause saved me again!). thank you thank you thank you!
"My grandfather bought himself a team of oxen as an 80th birthday present for himself, and spent years training them and driving them for fun."
1. This makes me so happy. Anyone who hasn't read CLOUD CUCKOO LAND by Anthony Doerr should immediately go out and get it and learn how incredible oxen are.
2. Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for all of your insights here. Here's to thirty-year friendships, and even longer ones (I have several going on 50+. . . ).
I chose my long-married-with-two-kids life, but I love to fantasize about this alternative path, expressed so well here. I shaved off my hair in my early 20s and oh how this makes me itch to do it again.
Returning to your nine-year-old self is so relatable. I've rediscovered that barefoot wild child in my life too. We're good friends, now and she encourages me to play, and to make things. I smiled all the way through the reading of this interview. Thank you.
I relate to so much of this!! I think she shows how liberating growing older can be. I just turned 56 and I was talking to an old friend and he was like how did we get so old and I was like I don’t know but also how did we not know how amazing this would be? I can’t believe how much I dreaded something that has been the best part of my life.
This is what we all need to be aware of and take from this interview: “What I do look forward to, however, is becoming even more mentally and spiritually free. “
Middle-aged, childless and single (well, if 65 is middle age) feels like a wonderful club to belong to. And for what it's worth....as for floaters...mine went away when I stopped drinking alcohol and started drinking a ton of water...Great and generous post--I love the bit about "owning my creative mastery." That is going to be one of the goals I set for myself in 2024. Thanks so much for this!
"The first half was bound; the second half is free.” I deeply feel this. Today's my 66th birthday, and I'll read, sew, walk my dog, and have dinner with my husband. That's it .. that's all. Free.
Wow! This brought up a lot of feelings for me, especially as someone on the brink of losing her hair from chemo. I don’t think I’m kidding myself when I say that the physical alterations I’ve made in the name of beauty (namely blond hair) have been for me, not to please others. I like the warmth of my altered hair color as much as I like to adorn myself with jewelry and fabrics. These embellishments make me feel like they allow my essence to come through, more so than the random arrangement of physical features I was born with. When my hair goes, I’m glad to have earrings and scarves and lipstick to play with. For me, beauty is self-expression and i appreciate people who allow their beautiful, unique selves to shine, rather than adhering to some arbitrary beauty standard and trying to look like everyone else. I love the wisdom and freedom she’s attained. As we’ve seen time and time again in these Oldster questionnaires, this time of life can be liberating and fun.
The very last paragraph hits me deep in my feels, though the whole thing is grand. I also feel wistful sometimes that I'm unlikely to have a long marriage in this lifetime. Certainly never as long as my parents was-- 52 years. But then I remember that my best friend and I have been together for 39 years, and my other best friend for 37. And they know me better, and love me better than any man I ever spent years of my life with. My life is full of long-term love, AND I don't have to share my bed with someone who snores or likes a different level of covers than I do. I don't have to negotiate money with anyone, or where I want to go on vacation. What a miraculous thing it is, to be a woman in her fifties and free.
"If I had someone like me, I feel certain I never would have married at all." Hah! This! Love it.
I'm a fan of all-age interviews and what you're doing here Sari. Thanks. I'm deeply curious how others have arrived to where they are now. While we all have a story and some milestones are similar in the traditional sense (grief, love, health, work, finances), we all bear witness to life differently.
Terrific conversation. I too would like to be the woman who tells a bear to fuck off.
I feel like I know Elizabeth Gilbert because she taught with my mentors (Art Smith and Marilyn Kallet at UT Knoxville but also because Eat Pray Love saved my life a billion times over after my divorce. Her advice to find one amazing thing every day, instead of looking forward to crying, was life changing. Now rereading Big Magic!
Absolutely loved this interview! I too am in my 50s and childless, and thank goodness that is becoming more readily accepted! Tapping into our 9-year-old self is indeed freeing, and I truly believe a bit of that wonder and free-spiritedness is a key to happiness. PS I recently read City of Girls, it was fabulous! I gifted it to my 70 something friend who grew up in those neighborhoods, and he absolutely loved it too!
god these posts fill me up. i have been drenched and drowning in menopause (and peri- for how long before this I have no idea) and today's post provided some necessary buoyancy. especially felt power in this line: (At least until menopause saved me again!). thank you thank you thank you!
"My grandfather bought himself a team of oxen as an 80th birthday present for himself, and spent years training them and driving them for fun."
1. This makes me so happy. Anyone who hasn't read CLOUD CUCKOO LAND by Anthony Doerr should immediately go out and get it and learn how incredible oxen are.
2. Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for all of your insights here. Here's to thirty-year friendships, and even longer ones (I have several going on 50+. . . ).
I chose my long-married-with-two-kids life, but I love to fantasize about this alternative path, expressed so well here. I shaved off my hair in my early 20s and oh how this makes me itch to do it again.
This is EVERYTHING. I almost can’t put into words how much this means to me!! Thank you so much for putting it into the world, Sari.
Returning to your nine-year-old self is so relatable. I've rediscovered that barefoot wild child in my life too. We're good friends, now and she encourages me to play, and to make things. I smiled all the way through the reading of this interview. Thank you.
every word of this...post-meno + sobriety + going grey + living alone is the sweet spot for real
I relate to so much of this!! I think she shows how liberating growing older can be. I just turned 56 and I was talking to an old friend and he was like how did we get so old and I was like I don’t know but also how did we not know how amazing this would be? I can’t believe how much I dreaded something that has been the best part of my life.
This is what we all need to be aware of and take from this interview: “What I do look forward to, however, is becoming even more mentally and spiritually free. “
Middle-aged, childless and single (well, if 65 is middle age) feels like a wonderful club to belong to. And for what it's worth....as for floaters...mine went away when I stopped drinking alcohol and started drinking a ton of water...Great and generous post--I love the bit about "owning my creative mastery." That is going to be one of the goals I set for myself in 2024. Thanks so much for this!