This is 52: Rashunda Tramble Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
"I’m blessed to have grown up with women who didn’t have to scream that they were old, beautiful, and proud because it was a given."
From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”
Here, 30-year tarot reader and author Rashunda Tramble responds. - Sari Botton
How old are you?
52
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?
No, not really. I try to focus on the present. I’m 52 in the here and now, and I want to be mindful of what’s going on in my here and now. This is the only time I’ll be 52 so I don’t want to miss one second of it. :-)
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
I have so many “peers” I’m not sure whom I’m in step with: Black women? All women? US expats? Women with gray hair? Southerners? Tarot readers? I’m in a lot of “peer groups” and they overlap. I’d drive myself batsh*t crazy if I tried to benchmark myself against any or all of them.
What do you like about being your age?
I’ve finally matured enough to realize that no one cares if I embrace my calling or not. No one. So I’m doing it anyway. I’m a professional tarot reader. I’ve been reading tarot for about 30 years, but only started reading online for the general public about six years ago. At first, I didn’t want anyone close to me to know. I even used a pseudonym for about a year. Then I realized that lots of folks already knew I read tarot cards but didn’t care. I was projecting my insecurities. I think it takes time, maturity and life experience to know when you’re doing that to yourself.
I’ve been reading tarot for about 30 years, but only started reading online for the general public about six years ago. At first, I didn’t want anyone close to me to know. ..Then I realized that lots of folks already knew but didn’t care. I was projecting my insecurities.
What is difficult about being your age?
The difficult thing is seeing myself being completely erased from the things I love, such as fashion and beauty magazines. For example, I’ve just canceled my subscription to Allure because I couldn’t find any articles relevant to me anymore. It’s a shame because I really liked it, but almost none of the features reflected my style. I’m just not into going to dinner with sequins glued to my cheeks. Not that there’s anything wrong with going to dinner with sequins glued to your cheeks. It’s just not my thing. BTW: Could someone bring Mirabella back? (RIP Grace).
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
The surprising thing is that so many people focus on my age—or age in general. Perhaps it’s because I’m Black, or because I’m Southern, or a combination of the two, but where I’m from (Memphis) being confident, stylish, and taking good care of yourself as you grow older is the norm. Or at least it was. I’m blessed to have grown up with women who didn’t have to scream that they were old, beautiful, and proud because it was a given. I saw my future when I went to my mom’s church: Beautiful Black matriarchs fabulously dressed and coiffed, and walking with their heads high. It’s a lot to live up to, but I’m giving it a shot.
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
Aging has given me an even deeper appreciation of how I was raised and the examples of aging I’ve had in my life. I had no clue that there was so much angst connected to growing older until *I* got older and it breaks my heart. It doesn’t have to be this way.
What has aging taken away from me? My parents. Both have passed. I remember when I got the author copies of my book I opened the box and cried, not out of joy, but because my mom and dad weren’t there to see their daughter’s name on the cover.
Perhaps it’s because I’m Black, or because I’m Southern, or a combination of the two, but where I’m from (Memphis) being confident, stylish, and taking good care of yourself as you grow older is the norm.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
It’s not that getting older has affected my sense of self or my identify. I think it’s getting older and being on social media that has slightly affected my sense of self and my identity. Like I said above, I didn’t know there was anything “wrong” with getting older until I started seeing ads for anti-aging cream, plastic surgery clinics, fasting, menopause bloat tea, and so on show up in my feeds. I guess I’m being targeted because I’m in a certain age group. What type of sh*t is that?
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?
In addition to being a tarot reader, I went to make-up artist school at the ripe old age of 49 in 2019. I received my certificate and started working on my portfolio. Then the pandemic hit and there were no opportunities for me to hone my craft…except on my husband (thank you dear). I would love to have a professional shoot under my belt by the time I’m 55. Until then it’s practice, practice, practice.
What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?
My favorite age was 50. I loved saying, “I’m half a century old. Could you please (insert my request here)” and getting what I wanted! It was magic!
Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?
Besides my mom and grandmother, the artist Betye Saar. She’s 96 years old and still working. Saar uses her work to challenge stereotypes about race and uses her life to challenge stereotypes about aging. I met her while I was working for Art Basel. She was warm, kind and amazing.
I saw my future when I went to my mom’s church: Beautiful Black matriarchs fabulously dressed and coiffed, and walking with their heads high. It’s a lot to live up to, but I’m giving it a shot.
What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?
My overall aging-related adjustment has been to speak up for what I like. For example, I normally wear simple outfits—black, or black and white—and a statement jewelry piece. The rare times I wear a color, it’s green. I’ve had a lot of well-meaning friends and stylists try to put me in some form of hot pink, canary yellow or some other Day-Glo monstrosity because, according to them, I can wear bright colors well. I’m sure I can. I just don’t feel comfortable or stylish in them. The adjustment I’ve made is that I now say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t like this on me” and take it off.
Beauty-wise, it’s the same thing. I’m simple. I just wear concealer, a red lip and mascara. Oh, I fill in my brows (darn those 90s). I hardly wear foundation. When someone else did a makeover on me in the past, they’d pack on foundation, lay on something like a hot pink lipstick and then finish off with some type of loud-colored, shimmery cut crease work on my eyes and false lashes. I wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. I now know to stop them when I sense they’re about to use every shade in the rainbow on me.
What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?
Stop wearing black. I like black.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?
By whispering “thank you” to the Universe and seeing what the day brings.
Loved to read about Rashunda's older Black women role models! Also loved "I’ve finally matured enough to realize that no one cares if I embrace my calling or not." Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. When I thought about pursuing a Yoga teacher training in my mid 40s I had doubts like: Should a serious journalist with a Ph.D. in economics become a Yoga teacher? WHY NOT? Everybody knows that I love Yoga! What's wrong with being a Yoga teacher? And it turned out, many people told me what a great project this is, especially the people that I care about.
Yes! The thing about being surrounded by older women who were totally fabulous growing up and so not realizing that getting old was supposed to be a bad thing until you actually got older. As she notes, this is particularly prevalent in the Black community. But I grew up in D.C., where all my teachers and crossing guards and principals were gorgeous, stylish, older Black women and all I wanted to do was be like them. We all need older women to claim their own vibrancy because it changes the experience for younger women. Whatever the culture may say they *know* getting older is beautiful.