This is 49-and-a-Half: Julie Novak Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
"I feel so much younger than my parents seemed to be at my same age. I thought they were soooo old and boring at 49."
From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”
Here, performer, writer, musician, and podcaster Julie Novak responds. - Sari Botton
Julie Novak is a multi-talented performer, writer, and musician who enjoys making people laugh, feel loved, and consider their role in making the world a better place. Aside from co-founding TMI Project, Julie is a media producer and facilitator with The Future Perfect Project, a queer-led organization that offers free arts programming to LGBTQIA+ youth across the globe. She has performed all over the United States, including a tour of her one-person show America’s Next Top, which had a successful run in the NYC Fringe Festival. Currently, Julie is the host of No One Like You (broadcast on TMI Project media partner Radio Kingston/WKNY), a weekly program where she interviews everyday heroes who share uplifting stories about turning their kryptonite into their superpower. Learn more: julienovak.com
How old are you?
49-and-a-half.
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?
I feel sometimes like I am in my later 20s in terms of my boisterous nature and adventuresome attitude. I play hard and take risks that some folx my age seem to have outgrown.
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
I feel young for my age and I feel like I happen to be lucky enough to have surrounded myself with friends who seem young at heart, and in spirit as well. We still make each other laugh at THE most inappropriate times, and I pray I never lose that. There is something about that feeling of being back in 6th grade math class on the brink of getting separated from your best friend because the two of you can’t stop laughing that I never want to lose. Luckily, I married that best friend, so that helps.
What do you like about being your age?
I love that every year I get older, I get healthier emotionally. It’s from shedding all those give-a-fucks that were cramping my style…
I love that I have gotten to stick around to see my personal transformation into being the person I always hoped I could become.
There is something about that feeling of being back in 6th grade math class on the brink of getting separated from your best friend because the two of you can’t stop laughing that I never want to lose. Luckily, I married that best friend, so that helps.
What is difficult about being your age?
The lack of resilience in my body after. I don’t even need to do a hard workout to feel sore. These days I can easily need to make a physical therapy appointment from just opening an envelope.
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
I feel so much younger than my parents seemed to be at my same age. I thought they were soooo old and boring at 49. I feel like my life is full of possibilities and new adventures at this point.
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
Aging has given me a chance to experience my first transition from one generation to the next and the opportunity for both to learn from one another. I very quickly went from the curmudgeonly “these kids today…” spiel to a more enthusiastic, “THESE kids today…!” attitude. That is from my work everyday with LGBTQIA+ youth. They give me hope for the future and teach me so much. I also feel like the older I get, the healthier I have become.
A little over two years after my mom passing from colon cancer, I got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. That was a real game changer in terms of how I have approached the way I move through the world—in the most positive way.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
This doesn’t necessarily have to correspond with getting older, but it turns out that I have lost both my parents in the few years (as have several friends and acquaintances as our parents have all continued to get older as well). Losing my mom especially made me review my time here more clearly as finite, and sparked that shift in attitude one can take when they are inspired to embrace that “you only live once” attitude. What’s more, a little over two years after my mom passing from colon cancer, I got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. That was a real game changer in terms of how I have approached the way I move through the world—in the most positive way.
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?
I can’t think of anything at the moment. Sometimes I regret not going to my high school prom, if you can believe that. Or having anyone come to my first college graduation.
What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?
13-14 was my favorite age. Even though it was a year filled with some heartbreak, it was also the time that I discovered The Smiths, a band which really made me feel like they were my tribe, who understood exactly what I was going through. It was the first time I heard another person talk about unrequited love through a queer lens and the loneliness that can accompany it. I know Morrissey can be viewed as problematic now, but at the time he was my closest confidant who seemed to know the deepest inner workings of my closeted queer soul. I finally felt seen, just by listening. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go back to that age and be able to come out at that age instead of holding off for so long and agonizing about it. When I was 14 I welcomed those feelings. By the time I came out at 21 I was ashamed and exhausted at trying to suppress them.
Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?
Hmmm. I can’t think of anyone in particular. I do have a memory of meeting an older lesbian with a cool haircut in my late 20s and thinking, “that is what I want to look like when I get older.” My aging idol is anyone who never stops being playful and curious.
I know Morrissey can be viewed as problematic now, but when I was 13-14 he was my closest confidant who seemed to know the deepest inner workings of my closeted queer soul. I finally felt seen, just by listening.
What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?
I find that my body is not as resilient as it used to be. I do moisturize every day now— something I didn’t start doing until I was almost 40. Healthy-wise I take more supplements than ever on account of undergoing chemotherapy for the last six months. But even before that I was big on supplements. Especially after the start of the pandemic. Lots of zinc, Chaga mushroom extract, vitamin C. I’ve since added Reishi mushroom, ashwaganda, cardamom and astragalus.
What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?
I will never stop acting like a 12 year old with my friends. And I will never stop doing things that grownups are not supposed to do. Like playing hide and seek or exploring abandoned buildings.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?
I honestly am not a big celebrator of my birthday. I often forget it is coming up. I’m not sure why. It’s not something I am consciously doing, but I am of the philosophy that taking one day to celebrate life doesn’t make much sense to me. I like to celebrate being alive every day.
Here's to never stopping acting like a 12-year-old with our friends.
A gorgeous person.