"I’m not interested in participating in our culture’s age-related expectations but I will say this: When I was 7 years old, I wanted to be a witch. It’s time to get on that."
I met Megan once many years ago through mutual family friends at a dinner at their house (and then went and bought and read all her books!). I felt the way about her then that I do now — she blows me away and makes me want to be more like her. I’m in awe of Megan’s powerhouse storytelling gifts and relationship to words, her energetic mix of vulnerability and fierce presence, her openness to and encouragement of others in this world, and her capacity for truth telling in a way that guts and inspires. Megan is a woman I look up to, and I was so overjoyed to see her featured today. Also, for what it’s worth, I met her ex husband too and, well, let’s just say I did not see how he could possibly deserve her. And that’s putting it politely.
I took a yearlong writing class with Megan and she is just as fantastic IRL as she is on the page. Her wisdom motivates me and has helped me push through my own projects. Love you, Megan!
Me too! I studied with Megan for a year and she is magic. I hear her voice in my head all the time when I write. Once, when I was bemoaning the fact that it's taken me so long to get anywhere with my writing, that maybe I gave the best professional years of my life to the wrong thing, she told me, "Let me be clear. The best professional years of your life are fucking right now. Until the day you die." That's an Oldster response for sure and I loved her for it.
Megan, I hope you feel your dad there in your heart, every day.
I realize this was probably written long before the day it was published, but I just want to say, I'm so sorry about your Dad, Megan, and I hope that grief isn't sitting so heavy on you now, even if it's still around, keeping you daily company, and probably always will. He sounds like an amazing dad and an amazing man. Thanks for sharing him with us.
Funny you should say that, Asha—it was written in August, but I have such a backlog of these I didn't get to publish it until now. She updated it this week, to reflect her father's passing last week.
Well then, fresh and heartfelt condolences to Megan and her people. Losing a parent is rough no matter the nature of the relationship, but when it's a good one? Oof. Lots of love to you, Megan.
It is hard for me to overstate my love for Megan Stielstra. I do not know her in real life -- sadly. However, I feel like I DO know her, having read her books of essays repeatedly. They have saved me numerous times, making me feel seen in a way that was not happening anywhere else. There is an essay she wrote some years back, "An Axe for the Frozen Sea" that I printed out when I first read it and it still is a treasure map I refer to time and time again. I am so deeply sorry for the loss of her father. I am certain, at some point, she will take that searing pain and it will be transmogrified into truth and gold that the rest of us will find solace in. Thank you so much, Megan, for the gift of your writing. I envy those lucky enough to have been students of yours. Perhaps one day....Thank you, Sari, for this Q+A -- this is one I will hold on to for a very long time....Xsusan
Some snapshots are a gift. You and your Dad, wow! As a Dad, may I say that as his boat sails out of this life, know that thoughts of you continue to animate his world. I wish you the very best of continued success.
Megan! Megan! I loved every word of this, and was so excited to see you fill out the Oldster Questionnaire as I knew we were in for a treat. You were the fire in the room that lit up the heart and imagination of every writer on the first day of the Chautaqua Writer's Festival last June and you made such an impression on me. The way you challenged us, inspired us and your signature, "Write that down" instruction. Not long after that workshop, I came across a notebook with "Write it down. It's your story" on the title and I think of you every time I write in it. I loved so much about this interview. Where do I start? First, thanks Sari, for inviting Megan to share her beautiful writing and humanity with us. Okay, you had me gasp aloud when I read that you are having the best sex of your life. I want what she's having! I divorced at 62, after 33 years and I've only ever been with my ex since the age of 28. You made me less scared, more curious. I love your attitude about aging, about female friendships (amen to that!), and I know exactly what you mean about the rough seas following divorce. I am in somewhat gentler waters now, 16 months into it now. So, yes, I get what you mean, there is a part of me that is my favorite age right now, at 63, because "I finally know who I fucking am." And on a sadder note, I lost my father to pancreatic cancer, too. What an incredible man you described. Loved the photo of you with him as a little girl. I hope our paths will cross again one day, Megan.
Thank you for this!! I was lucky enough to listen to Megan teach a writing workshop this fall and I cannot say enough about how much she inspired me. I loved this interview, love her books, love her writing! ❤️❤️
Wow - thank you for introducing me to this hilarious, relatable, inspiring woman! I am now ordering all her books and wishing she was my best friend. As a writer who has been a many parallel journeys, I found her answers uplifting, searingly honest and laugh out loud funny.
Dear Megan, I'm glad you're still writing. I love your piece. I'm jealous of you and your parents. I'm glad your son is happy. I always love hearing from Rilke. I partially grew up in Michigan, also — funny how tidbits of geography create connections that endear me to you. Thank you.
I love this, thank you. (Also, I am in my 40s and always appreciate the variety of ages you feature, for all the reasons you’ve articulated. Thank you!)
Megan and I once worked at the same college. And she was so supportive of a 2nd Story event in Chicago in which I was involved, when I was presenting an essay of mine to a live audience. Nice to see her recognized here. She’s a keen observer of life and a wonderful writer.
I met Megan once many years ago through mutual family friends at a dinner at their house (and then went and bought and read all her books!). I felt the way about her then that I do now — she blows me away and makes me want to be more like her. I’m in awe of Megan’s powerhouse storytelling gifts and relationship to words, her energetic mix of vulnerability and fierce presence, her openness to and encouragement of others in this world, and her capacity for truth telling in a way that guts and inspires. Megan is a woman I look up to, and I was so overjoyed to see her featured today. Also, for what it’s worth, I met her ex husband too and, well, let’s just say I did not see how he could possibly deserve her. And that’s putting it politely.
Megan is a gem!
I took a yearlong writing class with Megan and she is just as fantastic IRL as she is on the page. Her wisdom motivates me and has helped me push through my own projects. Love you, Megan!
Me too! I studied with Megan for a year and she is magic. I hear her voice in my head all the time when I write. Once, when I was bemoaning the fact that it's taken me so long to get anywhere with my writing, that maybe I gave the best professional years of my life to the wrong thing, she told me, "Let me be clear. The best professional years of your life are fucking right now. Until the day you die." That's an Oldster response for sure and I loved her for it.
Megan, I hope you feel your dad there in your heart, every day.
The section on being all the ages you’ve ever been and watching her dad watch her really got to me. It’s a lovely way to look at your parents.
I realize this was probably written long before the day it was published, but I just want to say, I'm so sorry about your Dad, Megan, and I hope that grief isn't sitting so heavy on you now, even if it's still around, keeping you daily company, and probably always will. He sounds like an amazing dad and an amazing man. Thanks for sharing him with us.
Funny you should say that, Asha—it was written in August, but I have such a backlog of these I didn't get to publish it until now. She updated it this week, to reflect her father's passing last week.
Well then, fresh and heartfelt condolences to Megan and her people. Losing a parent is rough no matter the nature of the relationship, but when it's a good one? Oof. Lots of love to you, Megan.
It is hard for me to overstate my love for Megan Stielstra. I do not know her in real life -- sadly. However, I feel like I DO know her, having read her books of essays repeatedly. They have saved me numerous times, making me feel seen in a way that was not happening anywhere else. There is an essay she wrote some years back, "An Axe for the Frozen Sea" that I printed out when I first read it and it still is a treasure map I refer to time and time again. I am so deeply sorry for the loss of her father. I am certain, at some point, she will take that searing pain and it will be transmogrified into truth and gold that the rest of us will find solace in. Thank you so much, Megan, for the gift of your writing. I envy those lucky enough to have been students of yours. Perhaps one day....Thank you, Sari, for this Q+A -- this is one I will hold on to for a very long time....Xsusan
She's incredible. <3
Some snapshots are a gift. You and your Dad, wow! As a Dad, may I say that as his boat sails out of this life, know that thoughts of you continue to animate his world. I wish you the very best of continued success.
Another beautiful reflection! Thank you! Now I am going to track down some of Megan Stielstra’s other writing! ❤️❤️❤️
You won't be disappointed!
Great to know! I know the editor she mentions usually has fantastic books, too. Tried to tag Stielstra but wasn’t successful...
Thank you for this beautiful interview. I’m not sure which button was pushed / bone was tickled but I sobbed at one point and cheered at the rest.
Megan! Megan! I loved every word of this, and was so excited to see you fill out the Oldster Questionnaire as I knew we were in for a treat. You were the fire in the room that lit up the heart and imagination of every writer on the first day of the Chautaqua Writer's Festival last June and you made such an impression on me. The way you challenged us, inspired us and your signature, "Write that down" instruction. Not long after that workshop, I came across a notebook with "Write it down. It's your story" on the title and I think of you every time I write in it. I loved so much about this interview. Where do I start? First, thanks Sari, for inviting Megan to share her beautiful writing and humanity with us. Okay, you had me gasp aloud when I read that you are having the best sex of your life. I want what she's having! I divorced at 62, after 33 years and I've only ever been with my ex since the age of 28. You made me less scared, more curious. I love your attitude about aging, about female friendships (amen to that!), and I know exactly what you mean about the rough seas following divorce. I am in somewhat gentler waters now, 16 months into it now. So, yes, I get what you mean, there is a part of me that is my favorite age right now, at 63, because "I finally know who I fucking am." And on a sadder note, I lost my father to pancreatic cancer, too. What an incredible man you described. Loved the photo of you with him as a little girl. I hope our paths will cross again one day, Megan.
Thank you thank you thank you. This was the perfect read for today, birthday #45
Well HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mistress!
It keeps getting better imho.
Hope you have something silly extravagant delicious and hilarious planned.
Thank you for this!! I was lucky enough to listen to Megan teach a writing workshop this fall and I cannot say enough about how much she inspired me. I loved this interview, love her books, love her writing! ❤️❤️
Wow - thank you for introducing me to this hilarious, relatable, inspiring woman! I am now ordering all her books and wishing she was my best friend. As a writer who has been a many parallel journeys, I found her answers uplifting, searingly honest and laugh out loud funny.
Dear Megan, I'm glad you're still writing. I love your piece. I'm jealous of you and your parents. I'm glad your son is happy. I always love hearing from Rilke. I partially grew up in Michigan, also — funny how tidbits of geography create connections that endear me to you. Thank you.
I love this, thank you. (Also, I am in my 40s and always appreciate the variety of ages you feature, for all the reasons you’ve articulated. Thank you!)
I took a virtual writing class from Megan during the pandemic. She is a force of nature.
Megan and I once worked at the same college. And she was so supportive of a 2nd Story event in Chicago in which I was involved, when I was presenting an essay of mine to a live audience. Nice to see her recognized here. She’s a keen observer of life and a wonderful writer.