"My kids joke that I’m not like the other moms. But what does that mean exactly? I’m a poet, my arms are covered with tattoos, my nose is pierced, and I like my music constant and fairly loud?"
Nesting dolls... This is totally how I feel these days. Every time I feel something I can sense the sequence of every version of me reacting. The child, the teen, the 20-year-old, etc. For me maturing and getting older is gaining yet another wiser layer to help corral the others.
I loved this - especially “I care less about what people think of me than I did 10 years ago - that’s not nothing.” I’m going to remember “that’s not nothing” when I’m too hard on myself. Indeed, we are all works in progress. She seems wise and down-to-earth. I loved the famous poem and look forward to reading her book.
My copy of Maggie's memoir should be arriving any day. I'm so excited!
It's funny. I've thought about the whole tattooed/pierced/music blasting thing somewhat generationally, partly because my partner and two of my closest friends are 8-9 years older than me. Which makes them all turning sixty this year, when I'm sitting here at just-turned 51. None of them have a single tattoo or piercing because when they were in their late-teens to mid-twenties such things were still largely the provenance of rock stars and Hell's Angels. I think it was my age-set, who were in college in the early 90s, who were the first to start getting tattooed and pierced as a somewhat common choice? So, in fact, many of the parents who make those choices *are* younger than us. There are just a lot of them now. I'm curious other folks perception of that.
I understand. I am a great deal older than you and have a mental age of about thirteen. My kids (appropriately) think I am weird. I have no tattoo's or body piercings to prove any sort of credibility. But they do pay close attention when we talk or swap playlists. Amazing how mush smarter we get as the get older.
I have been fan-girling Maggie Smith ever since this book came out. It's the first thing I've read in a long time that blew me away. I read her blog, every article written about her, online book discussions and am telling everyone I know to read You Could Make This Place Beautiful and her poetry. I've been wondering why - I'm 20 years older, not divorced, not a fan of Ohio (which I have only flown over and driven through). I just love the way she grapples. The world needs more thoughtful, introspective people like Maggie Smith.
YES! At 43, I’m starting to have a difficult relationship with the passing of time. I’m not aware of being any older, but symptoms of aging are starting to creep in. The weird skin around the mouth. The fact that all the neighborhood kids are now grown up. And the irony of it for me is that I am entering middle-age still trying to become a mom, so I’m buying wrinkle cream at the same time I’m purchasing ovulation kits. (Writing about infertility is what brought me to Substack!)
I love the nesting dolls image. I am a life coach trained in Internal Family Systems parts work, and that is an important piece of the model— that all of our parts stay with us as we grow and change, so when something triggers us, we often revert to the behaviors of one of our younger selves, whether that’s the fear of a young child, the defiance of a teenager, etc. I’m going to start using this image with my clients!
I’m so happy to have found this publication. It’s exploring a lot of the existential questions that are coming up for me lately.
I keep seeing Maggie everywhere. I'm buying the book.
My takeaway is how different aging is now from even in the recent past. For many years we saw previous generations following along pretty much the same, retire, play with he grandkids, knit, and die... Now aging is so different it comes as a new life lesson that wasn't expected. I'm straddling that line at 65. I don't fit in with my peers' idea of aging and retiring; yet I walk in shoes a size or two too big to age as those a generation behind me, and keeping up with current trends in tech, fashion, travel, and ha, skincare. Great interview!
Stridex pads! Weren’t those the best? Wonderful interview. Love the description of people as nesting dolls. Aren’t we all? Or layers of an onion— if I dare quote Shrek.
I just finished reading You Could Make This Place Beautiful. Though it is the story of one marriage, there is so much there that can be applied to any relationship that has faltered and eventually ended. The wisdom she has gathered has lessons for everyone who is considering how their past led to their present. Sometimes it takes many years to achieve the distance that makes it possible to evaluate and learn from the previous experiences.
I love Maggie’s outlook. We’re the same and I have the same attitude -- I feel 30 and 46 is no age at all. I’m doing things in reverse; finding my creativity, starting university to do an MA in photography (after only seriously finding photography just before Covid), everything is new and everything is possible. For me, I don’t foresee any slowing down, just a new energy and enthusiasm for all this ... stuff that I want to do -- have to do!
Nesting dolls... This is totally how I feel these days. Every time I feel something I can sense the sequence of every version of me reacting. The child, the teen, the 20-year-old, etc. For me maturing and getting older is gaining yet another wiser layer to help corral the others.
I can’t help continuing to tell people just how great this book is.
I just started reading her new book last night. 💚 I also love the thought of the nesting dolls and our different iterations as we age.
Another great questionnaire. Love the nesting dolls image. Can’t wait to read the book.
I loved this - especially “I care less about what people think of me than I did 10 years ago - that’s not nothing.” I’m going to remember “that’s not nothing” when I’m too hard on myself. Indeed, we are all works in progress. She seems wise and down-to-earth. I loved the famous poem and look forward to reading her book.
My copy of Maggie's memoir should be arriving any day. I'm so excited!
It's funny. I've thought about the whole tattooed/pierced/music blasting thing somewhat generationally, partly because my partner and two of my closest friends are 8-9 years older than me. Which makes them all turning sixty this year, when I'm sitting here at just-turned 51. None of them have a single tattoo or piercing because when they were in their late-teens to mid-twenties such things were still largely the provenance of rock stars and Hell's Angels. I think it was my age-set, who were in college in the early 90s, who were the first to start getting tattooed and pierced as a somewhat common choice? So, in fact, many of the parents who make those choices *are* younger than us. There are just a lot of them now. I'm curious other folks perception of that.
I understand. I am a great deal older than you and have a mental age of about thirteen. My kids (appropriately) think I am weird. I have no tattoo's or body piercings to prove any sort of credibility. But they do pay close attention when we talk or swap playlists. Amazing how mush smarter we get as the get older.
I have been fan-girling Maggie Smith ever since this book came out. It's the first thing I've read in a long time that blew me away. I read her blog, every article written about her, online book discussions and am telling everyone I know to read You Could Make This Place Beautiful and her poetry. I've been wondering why - I'm 20 years older, not divorced, not a fan of Ohio (which I have only flown over and driven through). I just love the way she grapples. The world needs more thoughtful, introspective people like Maggie Smith.
YES! At 43, I’m starting to have a difficult relationship with the passing of time. I’m not aware of being any older, but symptoms of aging are starting to creep in. The weird skin around the mouth. The fact that all the neighborhood kids are now grown up. And the irony of it for me is that I am entering middle-age still trying to become a mom, so I’m buying wrinkle cream at the same time I’m purchasing ovulation kits. (Writing about infertility is what brought me to Substack!)
I love the nesting dolls image. I am a life coach trained in Internal Family Systems parts work, and that is an important piece of the model— that all of our parts stay with us as we grow and change, so when something triggers us, we often revert to the behaviors of one of our younger selves, whether that’s the fear of a young child, the defiance of a teenager, etc. I’m going to start using this image with my clients!
I’m so happy to have found this publication. It’s exploring a lot of the existential questions that are coming up for me lately.
The nesting dolls idea is powerful! A way to reconnect with and honor past selves.
I keep seeing Maggie everywhere. I'm buying the book.
My takeaway is how different aging is now from even in the recent past. For many years we saw previous generations following along pretty much the same, retire, play with he grandkids, knit, and die... Now aging is so different it comes as a new life lesson that wasn't expected. I'm straddling that line at 65. I don't fit in with my peers' idea of aging and retiring; yet I walk in shoes a size or two too big to age as those a generation behind me, and keeping up with current trends in tech, fashion, travel, and ha, skincare. Great interview!
Stridex pads! Weren’t those the best? Wonderful interview. Love the description of people as nesting dolls. Aren’t we all? Or layers of an onion— if I dare quote Shrek.
I just finished reading You Could Make This Place Beautiful. Though it is the story of one marriage, there is so much there that can be applied to any relationship that has faltered and eventually ended. The wisdom she has gathered has lessons for everyone who is considering how their past led to their present. Sometimes it takes many years to achieve the distance that makes it possible to evaluate and learn from the previous experiences.
Lovely as I expected.
I love Maggie’s outlook. We’re the same and I have the same attitude -- I feel 30 and 46 is no age at all. I’m doing things in reverse; finding my creativity, starting university to do an MA in photography (after only seriously finding photography just before Covid), everything is new and everything is possible. For me, I don’t foresee any slowing down, just a new energy and enthusiasm for all this ... stuff that I want to do -- have to do!
Stridex pads: FEH. I love LOVE Maggie and her book. I’m now on my second copy because I broke the spine on the first one.