Love your interview and you are beautiful, inside and out. I know this.
I am 72 and I have lived a very fulfilling life in nature, landscaping 5 homes, and on a sailboat, in the Calif. Channel Islands visiting every year until I was around 70, when physical comfort became more of a priority. Sailing is a tough life if you have to do it on a budget but we loved it. We traveled 3 times on year long boat trips into Mexico. We belonged to yacht clubs, we quit yacht clubs. We are pretty independent but we have some fun memories from group sailing trips. Mostly in life we have done our own thing without the help of family, we were on our own. My partner and I met in high school and have been compatriots since then.
I also spent every summer when I was growing up on my grandparent's 640 acre farm in North Dakota. I feel like a got the best of both worlds. I became a teacher, a mother, now a grandmother with a lot of traditions from the Midwest in my habits, while a California girl at heart.
You are correct in thinking that it is important to converse with, observe and respect all ages. As I get older I look to people even older than me (!) at social functions that give me hope to keep growing intellectually into my 90's. I don't expect my human body to be very helpful past that time and I accept that life generally ends around then. If we don't die from other causes.
No religion, just striving to be the best I person I can be to my friends and family.
I get great satisfaction from talking to my 12 year old granddaughter and my own daughter, who is 40. My best friends are 50 and 70. I feel more engaged and more happy right now than I have in the past. Kind of took this long to figure out all of the side trips my life has taken me on. There have been tragedies, bad friendships, and health issues. Both mental and physical.
Most importantly, I have learned to be a good listener. My opinions don't really matter, and the more you know, the more you know you don't know! So I will leave you with that my friend! Keep up this wonderful avenue for all of us. We are all in the process of aging, then dying. It's the way it works.
"I think as I have aged, I have become more aware of the cues to 'bridge the gap,' justify or clarify my existence. I’m less interested in helping someone understand." I really like this. First, as a reminder that it's ok and often actively good to back off on trying to get people who don't share my marginalized/othered identities to understand them. And second, as a call to recognize that, in the facets of my identity that are mainstream or privileged, I must be the one doing the work to understand, to bridge the gap.
Not sure about this part: “ I’m less interested in helping someone understand.”
There are books, essays, teaching, etc, so clearly she is doing a ton of work there. I get the feeling it’s more on an individual basis, where some encounters come from the Entitled: expectations, assumptions and completely unauthorized demands.
Thanks for this, Sari. Such good questions, and revealing responses. People think me a little weird because when someone asks how old I am, I often refer to the next birthday rather than the last one. Why? Because in our cultures we don't celebrate the year until the end of the year and the beginning of a new one. For our entire first year we were months old until we completed our first year and then we were 1 our entire 2nd year of our life and so on right on through however many years we are. I am however many years, plus months, which is why I go with the birthday coming ahead, mine next month. I want credit for every day and not be stuck for an entire year on last year's number. Does that make sense to anyone else? Doubtful...
So, in the Arab culture I grew up in, traditionally you are the year you’re in. You’re one till the first anniversary of your birth, two till the second anniversary etc. People say, “I entered my Xth year” instead of “I turned X.” Even though I think of myself in the latter way, I get (very) slightly annoyed when people in western cultures say, “I’m in my 40th year,” etc., when really they’ve completed that year. So cool/fascinating that how we count the passing of our years is cultural to some extent!
So many differences are cultural and with more understanding and appreciation, there is less division and separation. Richness in diversity and yet there are those who don’t or can’t understand that either.
This reminded me that I too was held back in school (I went ahead a grade one year and then back two a few years later … it was complicated!) and I think that affected my relationship to my age for a long time!
Love your interview and you are beautiful, inside and out. I know this.
I am 72 and I have lived a very fulfilling life in nature, landscaping 5 homes, and on a sailboat, in the Calif. Channel Islands visiting every year until I was around 70, when physical comfort became more of a priority. Sailing is a tough life if you have to do it on a budget but we loved it. We traveled 3 times on year long boat trips into Mexico. We belonged to yacht clubs, we quit yacht clubs. We are pretty independent but we have some fun memories from group sailing trips. Mostly in life we have done our own thing without the help of family, we were on our own. My partner and I met in high school and have been compatriots since then.
I also spent every summer when I was growing up on my grandparent's 640 acre farm in North Dakota. I feel like a got the best of both worlds. I became a teacher, a mother, now a grandmother with a lot of traditions from the Midwest in my habits, while a California girl at heart.
You are correct in thinking that it is important to converse with, observe and respect all ages. As I get older I look to people even older than me (!) at social functions that give me hope to keep growing intellectually into my 90's. I don't expect my human body to be very helpful past that time and I accept that life generally ends around then. If we don't die from other causes.
No religion, just striving to be the best I person I can be to my friends and family.
I get great satisfaction from talking to my 12 year old granddaughter and my own daughter, who is 40. My best friends are 50 and 70. I feel more engaged and more happy right now than I have in the past. Kind of took this long to figure out all of the side trips my life has taken me on. There have been tragedies, bad friendships, and health issues. Both mental and physical.
Most importantly, I have learned to be a good listener. My opinions don't really matter, and the more you know, the more you know you don't know! So I will leave you with that my friend! Keep up this wonderful avenue for all of us. We are all in the process of aging, then dying. It's the way it works.
<3
The quote, "I prefer if you hold my hand." That line alone made this worth reading.
I love that.
"I think as I have aged, I have become more aware of the cues to 'bridge the gap,' justify or clarify my existence. I’m less interested in helping someone understand." I really like this. First, as a reminder that it's ok and often actively good to back off on trying to get people who don't share my marginalized/othered identities to understand them. And second, as a call to recognize that, in the facets of my identity that are mainstream or privileged, I must be the one doing the work to understand, to bridge the gap.
Not sure about this part: “ I’m less interested in helping someone understand.”
There are books, essays, teaching, etc, so clearly she is doing a ton of work there. I get the feeling it’s more on an individual basis, where some encounters come from the Entitled: expectations, assumptions and completely unauthorized demands.
( Some guy:”you need to____”…)
🙄
Thanks for this, Sari. Such good questions, and revealing responses. People think me a little weird because when someone asks how old I am, I often refer to the next birthday rather than the last one. Why? Because in our cultures we don't celebrate the year until the end of the year and the beginning of a new one. For our entire first year we were months old until we completed our first year and then we were 1 our entire 2nd year of our life and so on right on through however many years we are. I am however many years, plus months, which is why I go with the birthday coming ahead, mine next month. I want credit for every day and not be stuck for an entire year on last year's number. Does that make sense to anyone else? Doubtful...
I like that!
Thanks! That's at least one vote!
So, in the Arab culture I grew up in, traditionally you are the year you’re in. You’re one till the first anniversary of your birth, two till the second anniversary etc. People say, “I entered my Xth year” instead of “I turned X.” Even though I think of myself in the latter way, I get (very) slightly annoyed when people in western cultures say, “I’m in my 40th year,” etc., when really they’ve completed that year. So cool/fascinating that how we count the passing of our years is cultural to some extent!
Makes sense!
So many differences are cultural and with more understanding and appreciation, there is less division and separation. Richness in diversity and yet there are those who don’t or can’t understand that either.
Yes!
That the beauty of travel: literally new horizons.
that's how they do birthdays in some places! for example in Korea. search online for Korean age and you'll see how it works
Thanks for this, Nina and Sari! “Why do I have the same insecurities?” Indeed!
(Nina, I don’t know if you remember but we were at VSC at the same time.)
This reminded me that I too was held back in school (I went ahead a grade one year and then back two a few years later … it was complicated!) and I think that affected my relationship to my age for a long time!
I wonder how many others had this same experience, and how it impacted their relationship to age...
Gets vivid around the time of driver’s licensing!
Yay Nina!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️