Thank you for writing this It took courage to look at it all so directly and honestly.
I have the same defect. When I’m scared, I look for someone to yell at. It’s not genetic. It’s learned. I learned it from my father.
It took great effort to unlearn it especially while I was raising my kids alone. I wasn’t always successful. Now that they are in their 50’s I play act it and we can laugh together about it. The beast has been tamed. It can happen.
Beautiful, painful truth. I lost my father in a similar way last October. I always struggled with the Father's Day cards; he never went fishing, watched football, grew plants, drank beer or managed to be the Best Dad Ever. But I miss him. Thank you for sharing your story; we are not alone.
Very moving, especially from anyone who's had a parent or grandparent with dementia. Lewy body dementia, from my understanding, causes more problems with movement in the early stages than Alzheimer's disease. My relatives and those I've known from Alzheimer's often walk and move normally for years until they stop remembering how to. Also, from what I know from friends who've had parents with Lewy body dementia, misidentification of familiar people is more common in the early stages. The dialogue here is the work of a master writer.
This story made me cry -- so sorry for your loss. But it also made me laugh in recognition that my family did the same thing of yelling obscenities at your loved ones when they get hurt. Thank you for that!
As a father and grandfather now in my nineities, I am touched by this honest, father-son reflection. With good fortune, we reach a point when memories become all we are. Losing them must be terrible--and who knows? terrifying. Also, in our old age we bequeath memories; they become our legacy. All the more reason to live well the life we share with others. That's what I tell younger folks willing to listen.
Mother's Day and Father's Day are coming but we don't need these days to send cards, to make a phone call (or better yet, a visit), and to say "I love you dad/mom"!
Thank you! My father was killed in WW II and I never had the chance to go through that. It's part of a life that I'll never know about. While I understand that it was very difficult for you, it's also difficult to understand the loss of that and the loss of all the good times that you must have had had with him over the years.
I'm a very healthy 80 years old now and I hope my daughters won't have to go through that with me.
How incredibly moving. My favorite line, for its wit and heartbreak honesty: “ I have inherited my father’s defect that when someone we love is in peril, our first response is to yell obscenities at them.”
Loved this! Thank you for sharing with us. I laughed at your talk of walking down a black diamond. I thought of my first time “down” one, which was on my back and head first. I had thought I would try one out, on my first day skiing!🤣 I am over 34 years total in recovery (AA) and my mom has seriously developing dementia like her mom before her. Your story really tugged at my heart strings. I so wish she was fully present to see the woman I have become these last almost six years. But I have to Let Go and Let God about that as with so many other things. She would want it that way.
Thank you for writing this It took courage to look at it all so directly and honestly.
I have the same defect. When I’m scared, I look for someone to yell at. It’s not genetic. It’s learned. I learned it from my father.
It took great effort to unlearn it especially while I was raising my kids alone. I wasn’t always successful. Now that they are in their 50’s I play act it and we can laugh together about it. The beast has been tamed. It can happen.
Beautiful, painful truth. I lost my father in a similar way last October. I always struggled with the Father's Day cards; he never went fishing, watched football, grew plants, drank beer or managed to be the Best Dad Ever. But I miss him. Thank you for sharing your story; we are not alone.
Very moving, especially from anyone who's had a parent or grandparent with dementia. Lewy body dementia, from my understanding, causes more problems with movement in the early stages than Alzheimer's disease. My relatives and those I've known from Alzheimer's often walk and move normally for years until they stop remembering how to. Also, from what I know from friends who've had parents with Lewy body dementia, misidentification of familiar people is more common in the early stages. The dialogue here is the work of a master writer.
This story made me cry -- so sorry for your loss. But it also made me laugh in recognition that my family did the same thing of yelling obscenities at your loved ones when they get hurt. Thank you for that!
As a father and grandfather now in my nineities, I am touched by this honest, father-son reflection. With good fortune, we reach a point when memories become all we are. Losing them must be terrible--and who knows? terrifying. Also, in our old age we bequeath memories; they become our legacy. All the more reason to live well the life we share with others. That's what I tell younger folks willing to listen.
It made me cry ...
Mother's Day and Father's Day are coming but we don't need these days to send cards, to make a phone call (or better yet, a visit), and to say "I love you dad/mom"!
Thank you! My father was killed in WW II and I never had the chance to go through that. It's part of a life that I'll never know about. While I understand that it was very difficult for you, it's also difficult to understand the loss of that and the loss of all the good times that you must have had had with him over the years.
I'm a very healthy 80 years old now and I hope my daughters won't have to go through that with me.
How incredibly moving. My favorite line, for its wit and heartbreak honesty: “ I have inherited my father’s defect that when someone we love is in peril, our first response is to yell obscenities at them.”
Thank you for sharing; this is a beautiful, honest observance.
Such a profound story, so well written and so honest. Thank you AJ.
Oh I saw my late husband in this. Thank you.
Beautiful, powerful writing.
Perfect ending. Thank you for sharing your family's story.
Beautiful and heartfelt. Thanks for sharing.
Loved this! Thank you for sharing with us. I laughed at your talk of walking down a black diamond. I thought of my first time “down” one, which was on my back and head first. I had thought I would try one out, on my first day skiing!🤣 I am over 34 years total in recovery (AA) and my mom has seriously developing dementia like her mom before her. Your story really tugged at my heart strings. I so wish she was fully present to see the woman I have become these last almost six years. But I have to Let Go and Let God about that as with so many other things. She would want it that way.
Heartbreaking, funny and beautifully written.