I can't believe you said this: the reactions I get when I burst out into a bit of a song tell me that it might be a wee bit inappropriate? but I sing everywhere! (former theater geek and choirgirl :) I've recorded MP3s of me singing for friends who are down in the dumps — at the very least, maybe they can giggle?
I had a boss at the library who, when we would hear a snippet of a phrase, would turn and look at me as we burst into related show tunes. I felt so seen. (She once challenged me to sing the entire introduction to Secondhand Rose in my PR office, and I did it too — thanks, Barbara Streisand! :)
During the pandemic I created a massive playlist called "Love" which is currently at 350-400 songs, about love gained and love lost, from the Great American Songbook, Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald to Beyoncé, Rod Stewart and Taylor Swift. During lockdown, I played it every day and sang my heart out for hours. The emotion expressed in those songs, and the sound of my voice, helped me feel less alone.
Shutting off the TV; trying to surf again at 72; going for a long, hard swim; snd then having a hot apple fritter and a cup of tea. Finally, just doing something, anything for someone else to escape the prison house of the Self. .
Loved getting to know you a bit better through this. (And is it weird to say that I love your bangs?!) Singing is indeed wonderful and so is acupuncture and yoga. For me, the antidote to despair is #1) nature and #2) meditation. Thank you for touching in with us about this. I think we're all floundering, and we need to talk about it.
I needed this today. When I am stressed I tend to shut down. Its a long story but I couldn't bring myself to tackle my to do list today. Itcan wait till tomorrow. So I watched a delightful movie (Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris), listened to the rain falling outside, and had some tea. Everything else can keep.
Sari, this newsletter makes me happy; it feels like connection. I confront stress (I don't combat it, or win, or anything but recognize it and name it, which helps at bit) by playing drums, by writing, by walking, by yoga, by gettting regular Thai massage, and lately getting back into the community pool (which was closed today for maintenance, argh) Also meditation. What about an Oldster online karaoke get together? I'd love to hear you sing.
I love this post. I just had such a dispiriting talk with my 19 year old son, who says nothing means anything, it's all going to hell, and there isn't anything that any of us can do to change/fix/stop/improve any of it, from the war to the environment. I tell myself that behind his angry assertions of nihilism is in fact deep deep grief and a sense of powerlessness (that we all feel, on some level?) And so I try to sing, and read (so much poetry these days; it makes more sense than almost anything else) and petting my cats, walking outside, all those little things we do...I tell myself that maybe if my kid sees me trying to make my own tiny corner of the world "better," maybe eventually it will rub off on him. Because my heart breaks for his pain--for the pain of all those young people confronting this moment when so many seem intent on showing their ugliest angriest selves. Sigh.
Oct 27, 2023·edited Oct 27, 2023Liked by Sari Botton
Oh Sari to survive this impossible moment! Is it me, or is it a years-long moment? I am daily managing the anxiety, wrestling a sane reaction to an insane world. I admire your ability to burst joyfully into song, though the thought terrifies me. I would evaporate on the spot. (I do sing to myself, though, and enjoy it.) Reading, writing, baking, music, gasping at the gorgeous great outdoors - these are helpful distractions. Rez Dogs is making me very happy, in a melancholic sort of way (we finish it tonight, though, which will be very sad- what's next?). I am tentatively imagining travel, in a terrified, world-at-war, plague-state sort of way. My cute husband is making a nice dinner, Bill Withers is grooving on the speakers - I suppose I've got nothing to complain about, though the world burns and burns ....
Oct 28, 2023·edited Oct 28, 2023Liked by Sari Botton
More meditation (there's a great meditative synagogue in Seattle that does a daily group meditation online; I'm making a point of making time for that half-hour of self-care); more early-morning walks; more baking of new things (an exercise that requires attention and engagement by multiple senses); more needlework (same); more deliberate listening and deliberate kindness. And also a LOT of reruns of RuPaul's Drag Race, because joy and art are crucial. And I am finally getting my booster on Sunday, so there's a bit of peace of mind on the way; I'll take it.
Oct 27, 2023·edited Oct 28, 2023Liked by Sari Botton
I walk home from work five days a week (it’s a couple of miles) and at least two days a week I walk to work as well. The activity, the fresh air, the Vit D are all hugely helpful.
I’m reading real paper books more-- fiction mostly. And instead of burying myself in endless news and reading up on the history of the Middle East conflict, I’ve been looking for novels by Israeli and Palestinian authors. Fiction encourages empathy and understanding without overwhelm.
Finally, I’ve basically stopped drinking in order to protect the quality of my sleep. Sleeping enough and on a consistent schedule means everything. There’s nothing else I do that matters as much.
Sari, you nailed Blue Bayou that night! I too am singing - with abandon at my piano and with ensemble blending joy in a choir. I balance on a foam roller between my dogs on the floor and don’t look at the talking heads on tv. I get the news only in print as much as possible. I read literary fiction or watch Columbo, whichever feels better. And I read poems online every morning, then walk in gratitude most days. Thank you for the endless inspiration of Oldster.
When the world becomes too much for me, I do what you do, and: I deliberately practice being a Pollyanna by reframing things; I count my blessings (I just heard that my great-grandson is OK...he lives in Lewiston, Maine, an hour away from me, and he often hangs out at that bowling alley); I go out into nature to watch the sunset, the surf, and the shore birds at Ocean Point; I sing the Hare Krishna chant loudly, over and over again, sitting in my car or in a public park; I do some drumming ( West African and Native American) either alone or in a drum circle; I read women's memoirs (love Abigail Thomas!), daily inspirations, Alan Cohen, Anne Lamott, Iyanla Vanzant; I have no TV and no smartphone but when I turn on my desktop computer I look for old comics and comedies on YouTube... Roseanne, Carol Burnett, Charlie Chaplin, Monty Python, Far Side, Peanuts, The Simpsons; I do some chair tai chi, some isometrics, and some Box Square Breathing; eat some organic veggies and Fair Traded dark chocolate; I listen to Abraham-Hicks (to get back into the vortex), Brene Brown, Byron Katie, Joe Dispenza, uplifting podcasts, videos, TedTalks; I write letters, call or email my loved ones and friends; and I talk to God (prayer), then listen (meditation). Writing and talking about the stress is always healing. Thanks for asking!
Hey Sari, longtime listener, firsttime caller here… I feel like Oldster saves my (emotional) life every week, so you know, THANKS for that shit, man. I also cope by singing a lot; however I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it, as they say, but just the act of singing along to loved songs brings joy, and I NEED THAT…. Sorry, neighbors.
I’m reminding myself to pay attention only to things within my control. I donate what I can to those with the skill and energy to make change happen on a grander scale. Then I practice radical kindness with myself and others, hoping for a ripple effect. I like telling strangers how great they look and lavishing appreciation on service workers.
I’m also singing, mostly made up songs to make my husband laugh. And I’m learning to draw. This is “inktober” where we are invited to do a drawing a day, like poetry month in April or novel month in.. the month that happens. I also have little tidying binges where I can feel like I’m getting something done, even if just straightening out one shelf or one drawer. And now that the weather is turning, I’m making soup from roots to feel more rooted.
Thank you for asking this question, Sari. It’s been wonderful to hear your self care actions and read through what others are doing. I’m getting some new ideas. I’m so glad I found Oldster. Next week I’m giving a talk on mental health in retirement. Oldster will be on my list of resources.
Swimming. I swim. Not for exercise but to feel my body in the water. To connect with something bigger and more powerful than me. To look up at the sky and the clouds and the trees and to remind myself that we're all just here for a fleeting second and there is beauty and peace in nature and outside of our human-made suffering. I checked out a Pema Chodron book from the library. She has a way of helping me have perspective and calm. I love on the people around me and ask for love in return. Thank you for asking the question. It's hard to breath these days and I want so much more for humanity.
This was such a welcome find to see in my inbox today. The world has seemed even more terrible than usual for a very, VERY long time - no need to remind everyone with a list but it has been years without any real respite. I get up early to read poetry, listen to Tara Brach's or Jack Kornfield talks and try to get outside, even though the charm of a wooly bear caterpillar shuffling across the pavement can bring me to tears. I read about how mystics coped with The Plague years, and feel humbled thinking of mothers sending their (very young) sons off to war - then and now. Age brings a new deeper understanding of so many things and that's sometimes frightening to hold. Thank goodness for today which includes a cheerful terrier always ready to play, hot tea in a beautiful cup, toast with marmalade, a tribe of close, hilarious friends and someone I love who holds my hand as I fall asleep.
When I am stressed I read cookbooks, and when I am really stressed I reread Laurie Colwin and Ruth Reichl.
I can't believe you said this: the reactions I get when I burst out into a bit of a song tell me that it might be a wee bit inappropriate? but I sing everywhere! (former theater geek and choirgirl :) I've recorded MP3s of me singing for friends who are down in the dumps — at the very least, maybe they can giggle?
I had a boss at the library who, when we would hear a snippet of a phrase, would turn and look at me as we burst into related show tunes. I felt so seen. (She once challenged me to sing the entire introduction to Secondhand Rose in my PR office, and I did it too — thanks, Barbara Streisand! :)
During the pandemic I created a massive playlist called "Love" which is currently at 350-400 songs, about love gained and love lost, from the Great American Songbook, Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald to Beyoncé, Rod Stewart and Taylor Swift. During lockdown, I played it every day and sang my heart out for hours. The emotion expressed in those songs, and the sound of my voice, helped me feel less alone.
Shutting off the TV; trying to surf again at 72; going for a long, hard swim; snd then having a hot apple fritter and a cup of tea. Finally, just doing something, anything for someone else to escape the prison house of the Self. .
Loved getting to know you a bit better through this. (And is it weird to say that I love your bangs?!) Singing is indeed wonderful and so is acupuncture and yoga. For me, the antidote to despair is #1) nature and #2) meditation. Thank you for touching in with us about this. I think we're all floundering, and we need to talk about it.
I needed this today. When I am stressed I tend to shut down. Its a long story but I couldn't bring myself to tackle my to do list today. Itcan wait till tomorrow. So I watched a delightful movie (Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris), listened to the rain falling outside, and had some tea. Everything else can keep.
Sari, this newsletter makes me happy; it feels like connection. I confront stress (I don't combat it, or win, or anything but recognize it and name it, which helps at bit) by playing drums, by writing, by walking, by yoga, by gettting regular Thai massage, and lately getting back into the community pool (which was closed today for maintenance, argh) Also meditation. What about an Oldster online karaoke get together? I'd love to hear you sing.
I love this post. I just had such a dispiriting talk with my 19 year old son, who says nothing means anything, it's all going to hell, and there isn't anything that any of us can do to change/fix/stop/improve any of it, from the war to the environment. I tell myself that behind his angry assertions of nihilism is in fact deep deep grief and a sense of powerlessness (that we all feel, on some level?) And so I try to sing, and read (so much poetry these days; it makes more sense than almost anything else) and petting my cats, walking outside, all those little things we do...I tell myself that maybe if my kid sees me trying to make my own tiny corner of the world "better," maybe eventually it will rub off on him. Because my heart breaks for his pain--for the pain of all those young people confronting this moment when so many seem intent on showing their ugliest angriest selves. Sigh.
Oh Sari to survive this impossible moment! Is it me, or is it a years-long moment? I am daily managing the anxiety, wrestling a sane reaction to an insane world. I admire your ability to burst joyfully into song, though the thought terrifies me. I would evaporate on the spot. (I do sing to myself, though, and enjoy it.) Reading, writing, baking, music, gasping at the gorgeous great outdoors - these are helpful distractions. Rez Dogs is making me very happy, in a melancholic sort of way (we finish it tonight, though, which will be very sad- what's next?). I am tentatively imagining travel, in a terrified, world-at-war, plague-state sort of way. My cute husband is making a nice dinner, Bill Withers is grooving on the speakers - I suppose I've got nothing to complain about, though the world burns and burns ....
More meditation (there's a great meditative synagogue in Seattle that does a daily group meditation online; I'm making a point of making time for that half-hour of self-care); more early-morning walks; more baking of new things (an exercise that requires attention and engagement by multiple senses); more needlework (same); more deliberate listening and deliberate kindness. And also a LOT of reruns of RuPaul's Drag Race, because joy and art are crucial. And I am finally getting my booster on Sunday, so there's a bit of peace of mind on the way; I'll take it.
I walk home from work five days a week (it’s a couple of miles) and at least two days a week I walk to work as well. The activity, the fresh air, the Vit D are all hugely helpful.
I’m reading real paper books more-- fiction mostly. And instead of burying myself in endless news and reading up on the history of the Middle East conflict, I’ve been looking for novels by Israeli and Palestinian authors. Fiction encourages empathy and understanding without overwhelm.
Finally, I’ve basically stopped drinking in order to protect the quality of my sleep. Sleeping enough and on a consistent schedule means everything. There’s nothing else I do that matters as much.
Sari, you nailed Blue Bayou that night! I too am singing - with abandon at my piano and with ensemble blending joy in a choir. I balance on a foam roller between my dogs on the floor and don’t look at the talking heads on tv. I get the news only in print as much as possible. I read literary fiction or watch Columbo, whichever feels better. And I read poems online every morning, then walk in gratitude most days. Thank you for the endless inspiration of Oldster.
When the world becomes too much for me, I do what you do, and: I deliberately practice being a Pollyanna by reframing things; I count my blessings (I just heard that my great-grandson is OK...he lives in Lewiston, Maine, an hour away from me, and he often hangs out at that bowling alley); I go out into nature to watch the sunset, the surf, and the shore birds at Ocean Point; I sing the Hare Krishna chant loudly, over and over again, sitting in my car or in a public park; I do some drumming ( West African and Native American) either alone or in a drum circle; I read women's memoirs (love Abigail Thomas!), daily inspirations, Alan Cohen, Anne Lamott, Iyanla Vanzant; I have no TV and no smartphone but when I turn on my desktop computer I look for old comics and comedies on YouTube... Roseanne, Carol Burnett, Charlie Chaplin, Monty Python, Far Side, Peanuts, The Simpsons; I do some chair tai chi, some isometrics, and some Box Square Breathing; eat some organic veggies and Fair Traded dark chocolate; I listen to Abraham-Hicks (to get back into the vortex), Brene Brown, Byron Katie, Joe Dispenza, uplifting podcasts, videos, TedTalks; I write letters, call or email my loved ones and friends; and I talk to God (prayer), then listen (meditation). Writing and talking about the stress is always healing. Thanks for asking!
Hey Sari, longtime listener, firsttime caller here… I feel like Oldster saves my (emotional) life every week, so you know, THANKS for that shit, man. I also cope by singing a lot; however I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it, as they say, but just the act of singing along to loved songs brings joy, and I NEED THAT…. Sorry, neighbors.
I’m reminding myself to pay attention only to things within my control. I donate what I can to those with the skill and energy to make change happen on a grander scale. Then I practice radical kindness with myself and others, hoping for a ripple effect. I like telling strangers how great they look and lavishing appreciation on service workers.
I’m also singing, mostly made up songs to make my husband laugh. And I’m learning to draw. This is “inktober” where we are invited to do a drawing a day, like poetry month in April or novel month in.. the month that happens. I also have little tidying binges where I can feel like I’m getting something done, even if just straightening out one shelf or one drawer. And now that the weather is turning, I’m making soup from roots to feel more rooted.
Thank you for asking this question, Sari. It’s been wonderful to hear your self care actions and read through what others are doing. I’m getting some new ideas. I’m so glad I found Oldster. Next week I’m giving a talk on mental health in retirement. Oldster will be on my list of resources.
Swimming. I swim. Not for exercise but to feel my body in the water. To connect with something bigger and more powerful than me. To look up at the sky and the clouds and the trees and to remind myself that we're all just here for a fleeting second and there is beauty and peace in nature and outside of our human-made suffering. I checked out a Pema Chodron book from the library. She has a way of helping me have perspective and calm. I love on the people around me and ask for love in return. Thank you for asking the question. It's hard to breath these days and I want so much more for humanity.
This was such a welcome find to see in my inbox today. The world has seemed even more terrible than usual for a very, VERY long time - no need to remind everyone with a list but it has been years without any real respite. I get up early to read poetry, listen to Tara Brach's or Jack Kornfield talks and try to get outside, even though the charm of a wooly bear caterpillar shuffling across the pavement can bring me to tears. I read about how mystics coped with The Plague years, and feel humbled thinking of mothers sending their (very young) sons off to war - then and now. Age brings a new deeper understanding of so many things and that's sometimes frightening to hold. Thank goodness for today which includes a cheerful terrier always ready to play, hot tea in a beautiful cup, toast with marmalade, a tribe of close, hilarious friends and someone I love who holds my hand as I fall asleep.