This week, when O’Connor would have turned 57, Jocelyn Jane Cox traces the courage she first derived from the revolutionary pop star as a teen, and more recently as an adult.
She's a great example of --maybe everyone will constantly shit all over you, and tell you everything you do and say and ARE is wrong. You could even be reviled by many 'cool' people, whom everyone admires. You could be universally reviled and even be the butt of jokes.
And you could still be a magnitude more honest and talented and more correct in your assessment of situations than those people.
We don't usually get vindicated in any way. But it doesn't matter.
Beautiful recollection. I first heard Sinead O’Connor as a DJ on our college radio station. That record made a huge impression on every one of us music nerds. She tapped into something beneath the surface of the Reagan 80s for a lot of suburban teens, even if we didn’t appreciate all she was doing until much later.
AAA maps!!! Sinéad was a legend. Thank you for this remembrance of how she mattered to you. She meant a lot to women our age of many backgrounds, and bc of her conversion later in life, she meant a lot to Muslims of my generation and younger.
I kind of sat there not understanding it, I think. At least, that's how I remember it happening. A year later I was into punk rock and putting safety pins in my eyebrow skin, stuff like that.... I bet my reaction would have been a lot different (very positive) if I was a year or two older when she did it. In retrospect, it was one of the most punk things ever.
So true. She was hitting my radar right when I needed it. It's so interesting how music and other pieces of pop culture hit us at different times in different ways.
I think Nirvana's Nevermind nudged me at the right time and in a similar way, if that gives any indication of the time frame! Just based on what music did for both of us, I think I could guess that you graduated high school just a few years prior to me. That time in my memory is a really important one, but it's getting fuzzier all the time!
The more I write about the world, the more I discover an urgent need to write about myself, especially my much younger years. The "dark ages" before the internet meant we didn't have any sort of digital footprint, so our memories are like the only source of some of this information. That's nuts!
Excellent essay. I’m a decade or so older than you and the only things I knew about O’Connor were Nothing Compares to U and the uproar over her Pope incident. When she died I spent a couple of hours reading about her and watching videos. I was impressed with her courage in speaking out despite a lot of resistance, particularly against the Catholic Church. At the end it seems it all took a huge toll on her. Very sad end to her life.
Thank you so much Brian. Yes, she was in many ways ahead of her time and willing to speak out about issues that didn't fit into the "pop star" box she had been put in - a box she was clearly ambivalent about.
Brian, same! You'd think, after all these years and how much abuse was exposed within the Catholic Church, they would've laid off of her....ripping up a picture is just a symbolic act - it is absolutely nothing, nothing, compared to the ruined lives of so many young people by acts committed against them that traumatized them for the rest of their lives. I had no idea that she had shaved her head in an attempt to resist the record labels' desires for her to present herself in a certain way. I always just thought she looked super cool, and absolutely beautiful - her eyes were gorgeous. It seems like the world doesn't have a clue what to do with someone of such staggering talent and a straightforward ability to call out abuse as she saw it. I wish that I had a fraction of her ability to speak out...
Thank you for this Doreen - so well said. Its a shame, no, a crime, how she was treated for speaking out. She was clear-eyed and vocal about things other people wanted to ignore.
My first thought when she was gone was, "the world killed her". Sorry to sound so blunt....it's just that it was quite plain that she was suffering immensely. So many strides have been made to address trauma and abuse, but we clearly have the great pull, still, as a society, to create scapegoats out of truth-tellers. It's happened to me in a few situations, and doesn't seem to easily resolve. I know that abusers must feel shame; it's so inaccessible to them, though. Somehow we need to make this healing process widely accessible, and acceptable, so that everyone can heal. And I have zero answers as to how to accomplish this...I will always love Sinead so much for standing up for what was right, even at great cost to herself. <3
Absolutely. It pained me to see what was happening in her life in the last few years. It pained me to hear her voice in the documentary. You are right: full scapegoat, agree.
Yep. Let's just shoot the messenger. That always works well.....Gawd. : ( Again, though, Sinead left a very powerful mark on the world and that is NO small feat. <3
What a gorgeous tribute to Sinéad and your mother. Reading this was like taking a trip through time and a reminder of how much Sinéad changed the landscape of music/lyrics for me and rattled the cage of my shy inner world. I'm so glad you found your voice because what a gift it is!
Dec 20, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Jocelyn Jane Cox
Wow! Wow! Wow! That was magnificent. Im also a Gen X-er and remember playing Nothing Compares to You a million times and also believing being a straight A student would make everything ok! Lovely 🥰
What a stunning essay. I feel as if I’m right there with you as you so eloquently speak for your younger self. My heart just vibrated with this. Thank you so much.❤️
Wonderful tribute to Sinead as well as Jocelyn's mother. Certainly shows the power of the artist to effect transformation. So inspiring! I always admired Sinead's courage and honesty.
This was so beautiful, so engaging, and so human. The skill of the writing takes you on this intimate journey that captures so much life. I am also the same age and fully appreciate your story - the rich details, the real introspection, and the full appreciation for wisdom, time, and the people that brought you where you are, even if they don't know it. Thank you so much! I also became fascinated with Sinead/Shuhada's story after she passed. What I admire most is her absolute dedication to truth and justice despite the personal cost, and her utter sincerity and humanity. The power in being honest and true to herself were inspiring and their own legacy. May God bless her and may she rest in power.
Thank you for reading my piece Grace and for these words. I love this: "full appreciation for wisdom, time, and the people that brought you where you are, even if they don't know it." Yes.
I love the way this tribute to Sinead becomes, at the same time, a tribute to the writer’s mother. It flies on wings of love.
Thank you so much Rona for putting into words exactly what I was trying to do.
She's a great example of --maybe everyone will constantly shit all over you, and tell you everything you do and say and ARE is wrong. You could even be reviled by many 'cool' people, whom everyone admires. You could be universally reviled and even be the butt of jokes.
And you could still be a magnitude more honest and talented and more correct in your assessment of situations than those people.
We don't usually get vindicated in any way. But it doesn't matter.
Oh wow. You are so correct. Well said.
“I imagine her own fury...”great ending, so we’ll done 🥰
Thank you Trish.
What a lovely well written essay
Thank you so much. I've worked and re-worked this piece many times and I'm really happy with where it landed.
Beautiful recollection. I first heard Sinead O’Connor as a DJ on our college radio station. That record made a huge impression on every one of us music nerds. She tapped into something beneath the surface of the Reagan 80s for a lot of suburban teens, even if we didn’t appreciate all she was doing until much later.
Thank you Janet. Yes, tracking Sinead (and listening obsessively) was an interesting/cool/probably very formative thing to share with friends.
AAA maps!!! Sinéad was a legend. Thank you for this remembrance of how she mattered to you. She meant a lot to women our age of many backgrounds, and bc of her conversion later in life, she meant a lot to Muslims of my generation and younger.
Thank you Eman. And thank you for sharing that. I can imagine how impactful this must have been.
I'm a few years younger, so I was way too dumb to appreciate how gutsy and provocative she was until much later. That SNL moment!
Yes, that SNL moment. It was scandalous and I loved it.
I kind of sat there not understanding it, I think. At least, that's how I remember it happening. A year later I was into punk rock and putting safety pins in my eyebrow skin, stuff like that.... I bet my reaction would have been a lot different (very positive) if I was a year or two older when she did it. In retrospect, it was one of the most punk things ever.
So true. She was hitting my radar right when I needed it. It's so interesting how music and other pieces of pop culture hit us at different times in different ways.
I think Nirvana's Nevermind nudged me at the right time and in a similar way, if that gives any indication of the time frame! Just based on what music did for both of us, I think I could guess that you graduated high school just a few years prior to me. That time in my memory is a really important one, but it's getting fuzzier all the time!
Ha! Fuzzier for me as well -that's I have to write it down! :)
The more I write about the world, the more I discover an urgent need to write about myself, especially my much younger years. The "dark ages" before the internet meant we didn't have any sort of digital footprint, so our memories are like the only source of some of this information. That's nuts!
Excellent essay. I’m a decade or so older than you and the only things I knew about O’Connor were Nothing Compares to U and the uproar over her Pope incident. When she died I spent a couple of hours reading about her and watching videos. I was impressed with her courage in speaking out despite a lot of resistance, particularly against the Catholic Church. At the end it seems it all took a huge toll on her. Very sad end to her life.
Thank you so much Brian. Yes, she was in many ways ahead of her time and willing to speak out about issues that didn't fit into the "pop star" box she had been put in - a box she was clearly ambivalent about.
Brian, same! You'd think, after all these years and how much abuse was exposed within the Catholic Church, they would've laid off of her....ripping up a picture is just a symbolic act - it is absolutely nothing, nothing, compared to the ruined lives of so many young people by acts committed against them that traumatized them for the rest of their lives. I had no idea that she had shaved her head in an attempt to resist the record labels' desires for her to present herself in a certain way. I always just thought she looked super cool, and absolutely beautiful - her eyes were gorgeous. It seems like the world doesn't have a clue what to do with someone of such staggering talent and a straightforward ability to call out abuse as she saw it. I wish that I had a fraction of her ability to speak out...
Thank you for this Doreen - so well said. Its a shame, no, a crime, how she was treated for speaking out. She was clear-eyed and vocal about things other people wanted to ignore.
My first thought when she was gone was, "the world killed her". Sorry to sound so blunt....it's just that it was quite plain that she was suffering immensely. So many strides have been made to address trauma and abuse, but we clearly have the great pull, still, as a society, to create scapegoats out of truth-tellers. It's happened to me in a few situations, and doesn't seem to easily resolve. I know that abusers must feel shame; it's so inaccessible to them, though. Somehow we need to make this healing process widely accessible, and acceptable, so that everyone can heal. And I have zero answers as to how to accomplish this...I will always love Sinead so much for standing up for what was right, even at great cost to herself. <3
Absolutely. It pained me to see what was happening in her life in the last few years. It pained me to hear her voice in the documentary. You are right: full scapegoat, agree.
Yep. Let's just shoot the messenger. That always works well.....Gawd. : ( Again, though, Sinead left a very powerful mark on the world and that is NO small feat. <3
Woah. For reasons I can't completely unpack at the moment, this essay moved me deeply. Looking forward to your memoir.....
Thank you so much Diana. I love that about reading - the impact that is maybe sometimes subconscious or on a level we can't fully access.
What a gorgeous tribute to Sinéad and your mother. Reading this was like taking a trip through time and a reminder of how much Sinéad changed the landscape of music/lyrics for me and rattled the cage of my shy inner world. I'm so glad you found your voice because what a gift it is!
Thank you for these words Jacque. Love this: "rattled the cage of my shy inner world" - yes. >Talk about gift.
Beautiful writing, Jocelyn!
Thank you so much Abby.
Beautiful. I could really see myself in teenage Jocelyn
Thank you Claire. That means so much to me.
Wow! Wow! Wow! That was magnificent. Im also a Gen X-er and remember playing Nothing Compares to You a million times and also believing being a straight A student would make everything ok! Lovely 🥰
Thank you so much for reading it. Oh if only all those A's really did make everything okay....
What a stunning essay. I feel as if I’m right there with you as you so eloquently speak for your younger self. My heart just vibrated with this. Thank you so much.❤️
Wow, thank you for this Mary. I am honored that you read it and so glad you connected with it.
Wonderful tribute to Sinead as well as Jocelyn's mother. Certainly shows the power of the artist to effect transformation. So inspiring! I always admired Sinead's courage and honesty.
Thank you Deborah. Yes, sometimes we'll never know the people we've touched and inspired.
This was so beautiful, so engaging, and so human. The skill of the writing takes you on this intimate journey that captures so much life. I am also the same age and fully appreciate your story - the rich details, the real introspection, and the full appreciation for wisdom, time, and the people that brought you where you are, even if they don't know it. Thank you so much! I also became fascinated with Sinead/Shuhada's story after she passed. What I admire most is her absolute dedication to truth and justice despite the personal cost, and her utter sincerity and humanity. The power in being honest and true to herself were inspiring and their own legacy. May God bless her and may she rest in power.
Thank you for reading my piece Grace and for these words. I love this: "full appreciation for wisdom, time, and the people that brought you where you are, even if they don't know it." Yes.