Loved this, thank you. I recommend Data: A Love Story by Amy Webb. It's hilarious and eye-opening to read how Amy reviewed thousands of online dating profiles and then reverse-engineered the process, including creating multiple "male" personas and seeing what type woman was attracted to what type man. Her sections on creating the perfect photos (attractive, but not too attractive -- smiling but not giddy -- fun, but responsible) are worth the price of admission!
So good. “He ...knows how to write in complete sentences and hasn’t said one inappropriate thing…yet.”
We’ve set such a low bar when it comes to online dating. I’m amazed when anyone comes out of the experience with good news, yet I know more than one long-term successful relationship that grew out of an online dating meet up. They obviously have more patience and tolerance for the jungle filled with idiots, scammers, and skeazeballs, one has to machete through to get to the shining profile of someone who can, at the very least, “write in complete sentences.”
Thank you Pam. My husband of 18 years passed away from leukemia just about the time the world went into isolation. I am now 79 years old and men are starting to look good to me again, but I have no idea (or courage) how to meet anyone. Believe it or not, I met my husband on Match dot com and it was a good match. But that was a long time ago. I am afraid the world of dating, and myself, are different now. Never Too Old.
Thanks for this. So much I relate to. In Michigan we have the dead fish photos. Why does anyone think others want to see their fishing catch? And the boats and motorcycles. I envision a wife saying “it’s me or the boat.” We know which one he chose!
Haha, yes, bi-envious. I’m also jealous she only has ONE eyebrow hair on her chin. About a quarter of my eyebrow hairs live on the lower half of my face now!
I’ve been widowed for six years now and the one guy I dated for a couple months two years ago has temporarily cured me of the desire to have a man in my life again. I’m enjoying my serenity for now. I figure I’ll wait till I’m truly unable to pass myself off as younger than my age so that the next guy interested in me won’t be in it for my youthful looks. Tired of that scene.
Good snappy reading! I've already been wondering about this concept - heard here as "expectations aggressively low" paired with "hopelessly heterosexual".
It took me decades, and watching my own heterosexual daughter find real happiness with a woman, to realize that my own carefully hardened boundaries with women probably didn't serve me well when I was single back in the day.
Here is to women listening to and appreciating each other regardless of the context.
Here is to recognizing arbitrary boundaries when they exist and relaxing them when it makes sense.
Wonderful writing! Pam, you are experiencing the invisiblication of your age. Welcome. You might want to work on getting used to it. I am ten years older than you, and it does not improve as time goes on.
I’m 59, and I just signed up on my first dating app. Well followed through on completing my profile and setting it free. Compulsively changing profile, and have yet to respond to a text. hesrt, rose. Next week? Do love my car selfie though. Great writing! Perfect timing for me
Loved this, thank you. I recommend Data: A Love Story by Amy Webb. It's hilarious and eye-opening to read how Amy reviewed thousands of online dating profiles and then reverse-engineered the process, including creating multiple "male" personas and seeing what type woman was attracted to what type man. Her sections on creating the perfect photos (attractive, but not too attractive -- smiling but not giddy -- fun, but responsible) are worth the price of admission!
So good. “He ...knows how to write in complete sentences and hasn’t said one inappropriate thing…yet.”
We’ve set such a low bar when it comes to online dating. I’m amazed when anyone comes out of the experience with good news, yet I know more than one long-term successful relationship that grew out of an online dating meet up. They obviously have more patience and tolerance for the jungle filled with idiots, scammers, and skeazeballs, one has to machete through to get to the shining profile of someone who can, at the very least, “write in complete sentences.”
Thank you Pam. My husband of 18 years passed away from leukemia just about the time the world went into isolation. I am now 79 years old and men are starting to look good to me again, but I have no idea (or courage) how to meet anyone. Believe it or not, I met my husband on Match dot com and it was a good match. But that was a long time ago. I am afraid the world of dating, and myself, are different now. Never Too Old.
So good. Love the writing and the truth in this piece.
Thanks for this. So much I relate to. In Michigan we have the dead fish photos. Why does anyone think others want to see their fishing catch? And the boats and motorcycles. I envision a wife saying “it’s me or the boat.” We know which one he chose!
Haha, yes, bi-envious. I’m also jealous she only has ONE eyebrow hair on her chin. About a quarter of my eyebrow hairs live on the lower half of my face now!
I’ve been widowed for six years now and the one guy I dated for a couple months two years ago has temporarily cured me of the desire to have a man in my life again. I’m enjoying my serenity for now. I figure I’ll wait till I’m truly unable to pass myself off as younger than my age so that the next guy interested in me won’t be in it for my youthful looks. Tired of that scene.
Bravo! I laughed out loud at: Men have been to Paris or Bangkok or Machu Picchu and they have been to the gym.
I loved this piece. Love the longing and the solemn way it’s written. Beautiful. I too am 58.
Good snappy reading! I've already been wondering about this concept - heard here as "expectations aggressively low" paired with "hopelessly heterosexual".
It took me decades, and watching my own heterosexual daughter find real happiness with a woman, to realize that my own carefully hardened boundaries with women probably didn't serve me well when I was single back in the day.
Here is to women listening to and appreciating each other regardless of the context.
Here is to recognizing arbitrary boundaries when they exist and relaxing them when it makes sense.
Warmest regards Jennie
Every bit of this rings true! Thank you for sharing. And, yeah...the car selfies, though the bathroom mirror selfies are worse, and grosser.
Loved this, Pam. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Wonderful writing! Pam, you are experiencing the invisiblication of your age. Welcome. You might want to work on getting used to it. I am ten years older than you, and it does not improve as time goes on.
Love this! So much of what you have written here resonates with me and what I have experienced since my own divorce.
So very good.
I’m 59, and I just signed up on my first dating app. Well followed through on completing my profile and setting it free. Compulsively changing profile, and have yet to respond to a text. hesrt, rose. Next week? Do love my car selfie though. Great writing! Perfect timing for me
Hilarious, a proper overview of cyberdating! However, for another view of what could happen, there's this blog post of mine: https://crossedeyesanddottedtees.wordpress.com/2021/04/21/an-open-letter-to-mark-zuckerberg/
Just read your blog post, Ellie, and love it! Congrats as well!
Thank you so much, Katie!! ❤️💞