I watched my mother draw the clock 15 years ago. She made a passable circle, then crowded the numbers together down the right side and could not figure out what to do with the hands. It took several years before Alzheimer's finally took her. Now, at 75, I can identify with your mother. Each year at the "Are you still alive?" insurance-mandated physical I am asked to draw the clock. Last year I used Roman numerals for the numbers. Next time I may number it in binary, or perhaps draw a digital clock. My wife and I now share an inside joke. Each time one of us forgets something, like where we left the keys, we ask the other "Is it time to draw the clock?" It's a terrible disease that is much harder on love ones than the victim. Alzheimer's induces a serenity, and carries them back in time. About a year before she died, Mom was excited to tell my sister about her boyfriend, and that she thought he was going to ask to marry her. Said boyfriend was my father, and they had been married more than 60 years.
Lots of connections for me. Short term memory loss is simply maddening. I am experiencing it now through my mother in law and my dad (aged 89 and 91 respectively).
How much of our existence is in our heads (ie memory)?
Brava! Such a fun read. Loved the mother’s F-words! Hilarious. This essay made me laugh and smile ruefully in recognition of some of my own behaviors and left me a little teary-eyed at the end. (And yes, I also secretly, silently took the test too .. and yes my F words were not nearly so fun… or multisyllabic!) Natalie Serber hit it out if the park.
Thank you for reading and for buying my book! I hope you like it. You may enjoy my newsletter, read.write.eat. in which I offer just that, a book or 3, a writing prompt or idea, and something delicious! you can sign up and/or sample at my website. www.natalieserber.com. Happy new year to you! Stay well.
You capture your mom so perfectly in so few words -- I feel like she's my years-long neighbor who I'm slightly worried about. Keep your sense of humor -- it has served my family well as we've been on this cognitive journey with our parents.
It's definitely a conundrum that a lot of us will have to face, with our parents, and then our poor kids will be in our position... Thank you for reading!
So well written! I have been on this journey with my mother. All the worries about deferred healthcare and deferred home maintenance. It’s been rough. A wise doctor tells me “she has the right to make decisions that are not in her best interests.” That is very hard to accept!
My parents both passed in recent years (Mum at 95 and Dad at 99). Mum was famous for her memory up until about the age of 93 when dementia set in rapidly. Dad was fine except for short-term memory right until the end. Your story rang so true and so warm and so humble. My wife and (69, 71) have agreed to keep an eye out for the tell-tale signs but we have long believed that when we can't recall something our brains are simply temporarily full. And always it comes back when we stop thinking about it. :-)
Such a great post - so much to think about here. Someone I love is giving me cause for concern right now, and your words have not only soothed me, they have prompted me to scribble down a bit of an action plan. Your relationship with your mum sounds wonderful. Thank you for sharing this story.
I watched my mother draw the clock 15 years ago. She made a passable circle, then crowded the numbers together down the right side and could not figure out what to do with the hands. It took several years before Alzheimer's finally took her. Now, at 75, I can identify with your mother. Each year at the "Are you still alive?" insurance-mandated physical I am asked to draw the clock. Last year I used Roman numerals for the numbers. Next time I may number it in binary, or perhaps draw a digital clock. My wife and I now share an inside joke. Each time one of us forgets something, like where we left the keys, we ask the other "Is it time to draw the clock?" It's a terrible disease that is much harder on love ones than the victim. Alzheimer's induces a serenity, and carries them back in time. About a year before she died, Mom was excited to tell my sister about her boyfriend, and that she thought he was going to ask to marry her. Said boyfriend was my father, and they had been married more than 60 years.
Lots of connections for me. Short term memory loss is simply maddening. I am experiencing it now through my mother in law and my dad (aged 89 and 91 respectively).
How much of our existence is in our heads (ie memory)?
Answer: almost all.
Brava! Such a fun read. Loved the mother’s F-words! Hilarious. This essay made me laugh and smile ruefully in recognition of some of my own behaviors and left me a little teary-eyed at the end. (And yes, I also secretly, silently took the test too .. and yes my F words were not nearly so fun… or multisyllabic!) Natalie Serber hit it out if the park.
Thank you so much for this. What an amazing story and how kind you are to you mother! Just bought Shout Her Lovely Name! again thanks.
Thank you for reading and for buying my book! I hope you like it. You may enjoy my newsletter, read.write.eat. in which I offer just that, a book or 3, a writing prompt or idea, and something delicious! you can sign up and/or sample at my website. www.natalieserber.com. Happy new year to you! Stay well.
I ordered your book and signed up for your newsletter! Can’t wait to read it.
Aww! Wonderful! And welcome. 😘
'Fodder'--supplying our children with stories for years to come. Lovely!
You capture your mom so perfectly in so few words -- I feel like she's my years-long neighbor who I'm slightly worried about. Keep your sense of humor -- it has served my family well as we've been on this cognitive journey with our parents.
It's definitely a conundrum that a lot of us will have to face, with our parents, and then our poor kids will be in our position... Thank you for reading!
That is one superb essay. Filled with heartache, but the writing is spectacular. Thank you.
Aww! Thank you for reading and your kind words.
So well written! I have been on this journey with my mother. All the worries about deferred healthcare and deferred home maintenance. It’s been rough. A wise doctor tells me “she has the right to make decisions that are not in her best interests.” That is very hard to accept!
Thank you, Jennifer. I wish my mother had as supportive a doctor. And yes, it is so hard to accept.
Hahahaa ohhhh thank you. I loved reading this. Loving your tears and laughter all in one ❤️ - Isa
Aww! Thank you, Isa, for reading and for letting me know. Sending you love!
Sounds like an amazing lady. I hope she keeps well for a long time to come.
Teffy! Thanks for reading!
This was such a great one.
My parents both passed in recent years (Mum at 95 and Dad at 99). Mum was famous for her memory up until about the age of 93 when dementia set in rapidly. Dad was fine except for short-term memory right until the end. Your story rang so true and so warm and so humble. My wife and (69, 71) have agreed to keep an eye out for the tell-tale signs but we have long believed that when we can't recall something our brains are simply temporarily full. And always it comes back when we stop thinking about it. :-)
PS - Some resources about forgetting for you and your readers. https://theconversation.com/au/topics/forgetting-3964
I like the way you and your wife think! Thank you for reading.
Such a great post - so much to think about here. Someone I love is giving me cause for concern right now, and your words have not only soothed me, they have prompted me to scribble down a bit of an action plan. Your relationship with your mum sounds wonderful. Thank you for sharing this story.
At once heartbreaking & hilarious. Thank you, Natalie!
absolutely wonderful! thank you...
I see a bit myself in this wonderful column. Can draw the clock but probably not remember the five words !
I think we all see ourselves here! It's a crystal ball to take mom to the doctor... Yikes! Thanks for reading!